


The Place Where I Love You

by ealamusings



Category: Hunger Games Trilogy - Suzanne Collins
Genre: Ancestor Everlark, Canon Compliant, Dark Days Rebellion, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Friendship/Love, Mild Sexual Content, Prequel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-11
Updated: 2015-09-13
Packaged: 2018-04-20 06:00:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Underage
Chapters: 24
Words: 114,922
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4776266
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ealamusings/pseuds/ealamusings
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Katniss and Peeta have always been destined to be together, even in another lifetime. This is a story about the ancestors of the characters from THG. It is a coming of age tale set during the years leading up to the Dark Days Rebellion. From their first encounter at the age of five, spanning the years of friendship and love, including the tragic events of the rebellion, Peeta and Katniss always find their way back to each other.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> My deepest thanks to my faithful beta, Hinke (Everlarked on AO3 and finduilasnumenesse on tumblr) for her patience, advice, and friendship. Her willingness to offer her help is so appreciated. I love you! I also want to thank Notanislander (also on tumblr) for her expertise on learning and child development. All mistakes however, are my own.
> 
> My thanks also go to the creator of my banner, otrascosasseries on tumblr. I appreciate your artistic talent so much!
> 
> And finally, thank you to Suzanne Collins and her amazing series, The Hunger Games, for providing the inspiration for this story. 
> 
> Since this is not a typical AU (although it is canon-compliant), you will not find Prim or Haymitch or Gale here. However, you may find certain individuals bear a resemblance to familiar characters from the original story.

**Prologue**

William McIntyre looked out the bay window of his study at the back of his home, appraising the view before him with the stoic deportment for which he was known. Far to the right was a warehouse with its inventory of coal ready for shipping. In front of the large building ran the only road that led out of town. It provided the connection to the two smaller mining settlements, named Aurora and Hespera, which had recently come under his sphere of control.

There were narrow fields of corn and grain, already tall and green, bordering the road that followed the course of the valley stretching beyond the town limits. But the most important of all the sights before him was the new train station directly in the foreground.

The town of Cardinal was by all accounts flourishing. It took its name from the coal mine, which was its reason for existence. The story was that the mine had been named after the official bird of this region way back when the land was divided into states of a now collapsed country. He was part of the remnant population that had grown up in the resulting chaos.

William was the most powerful man in Cardinal. In fact, the McIntyre family pretty much owned the town along with a wide perimeter of surrounding forest, and, by extension, exercised considerable control over the people who lived there. In addition to the three coal mines, he owned the acres of fields and orchards, which were tended by workers in his employment. The crops supplied the General Store that also fell under his authority. Workers were paid in store credit, effectively ensuring that all commerce, with the exception of some minor black market trading which he chose to ignore, flowed through his hands. There wasn’t much that happened in Cardinal that did not in some way answer to him— food and trade, policing, manufacturing and repair, and of course the coal mines.

The Cardinal mine hadn’t always been in his family. William was in fact the first McIntyre to run it having married the only child of the previous mine owner. He had come here as a teenager, fleeing the ruined city to the north in which he'd been born. Using the skills he'd acquired during his early, troubled life, he had established Cardinal as the economic center for the region previously known as Appalachia. He had learned how to gain and maintain authority in a land where only the most shrewd survived against stronger opponents. So far he’d been successful.

The trains that came to the town brought the means to better exploit the coal, which in turn made him and his little empire indispensable to the rest of the country as it answered the voracious appetite for power and steel to rebuild its infrastructure. McIntyre guaranteed the uninterrupted flow of coal and the leaders of the Alliance in the west provided trading access with other regions in return. And so long as he fulfilled his end of the bargain, they left him alone to run the town as he saw fit. That was the deal he’d made.

Deals were important to William McIntyre.

Trade brought in guns, equipping his police force to properly maintain security, and had provided reliable availability of food and other necessities. Power lines followed the train tracks into town, enabling Cardinal to close its small coal-powered generator and focus on the more profitable business of mining coal for export. He’d even established a school for the mostly illiterate population, all of which had helped to turn Cardinal into a magnet for conflict-weary immigrants, steadily increasing its population.

Everything McIntyre had done was designed to make life better here. It was, for him, a policy that was just as calculated as it was compassionate. Anything that made Cardinal stronger served his own ambitions as well. His priority was fulfilling the promise he had made to his in-laws when he married into the Alexander family— to protect and expand Cardinal’s strength. Whatever he did to improve the quality of life for its citizens was just good business strategy. He was reticent to admit that he was motivated by personal reasons that went beyond economical power. The citizens of Cardinal weren’t the only ones who craved the sense of security that had been created here.

But not everyone was tempted to forgo the harsh but independent life outside Cardinal’s borders. A handful of scattered forest dwellers who hunted and foraged still remained in the vast countryside beyond his claim. They survived by keeping a low profile and only came to town to trade a few times a year. They weren’t organized or well armed and pretty much preferred to keep to themselves anyway. It was an arrangement that suited McIntyre just fine.

A part of him admired the stubborn resilience that enabled the forest people to survive out there on their own with nothing more than primitive weapons and their wits. McIntyre could identify with their tenacity. He’d been a drifter with nothing but his wits, too, when he first arrived here.

As a matter of fact, it was his business partnership with Arden, one of the forest people, that had enabled William McIntyre to gain access to Cardinal’s then ruling family when he was still a young man. The difference was that he had managed to aspire to a powerful position and transform a rather insignificant outpost into a thriving regional centre. Arden’s knowledge and contacts combined with young William’s ambition and instinctive business sense had been mutually beneficial for the two men. Given the brutal world he'd grown up in, he placed a high value on loyalty, and Arden was the closest thing to a friend and father-figure that McIntyre had.

If the forest dwellers’ lives were harsh by comparison to those in town, McIntyre refused to feel much sympathy for them. After all, they were welcome to join the town population— Cardinal always needed more laborers for the mines and field work. Plus, they benefited from access to his town, too. If they chose to remain in the woods, utilizing his town only for trade, he would exploit that fact so long as it didn’t clash with his own agenda.

Neither did he have any sympathy for those who grumbled about the hardships of mine work. They were compensated fairly and had it better than most people outside the safe borders of his town. Everything was a compromise. As a skilled negotiator, he understood that fact better than most.

From the window he could see workers busily unloading the latest imports from this morning’s train. It should provide him with a sense of satisfaction— and it did to a degree— but there was also a level of unease that arrived with each shipment.

This Alliance— a country which they called Panem— was still a fledgling and an unknown, and he was wise enough to know that allying with the new government came at a price. It was dangerous exchanging prosperity and security for diminished autonomy, but it was the only option that offered what Cardinal needed. Yes, it was a compromise, but one he was willing to accept, if cautiously.

It was certainly better than the anarchy that had existed previously. Even though McIntyre endeavored daily to forget what it was like, he knew personally just how bad it could be outside the protection zone he’d helped create here. He planned to do his part to ensure the town and the mines prospered in this new world. But he knew that he needed to remain vigilant of any potential shift in the balance of power in this partnership.

McIntyre took a deep breath and tossed back the last of the liquor in his crystal glass. Despite what had transpired a couple nights ago between the two of them, he could always depend on Arden’s distilling talents to help his mood. Though it was early in the day for this indulgence, he forgave himself as he had a funeral to attend. Death wasn’t anything new for Cardinal, and he was loath to admit that this one was harder to face than most for a man resistant to sentimentality. Emotional attachments were a dangerous weakness— one he couldn’t afford.

He’d made a success of his life thus far by partitioning the things that fed his ambition from those that didn’t. And _this death_ had nothing to do with the prosperity and security of Cardinal. He could feel a dark loneliness, black as coal dust, creeping up and threatening to suffocate him, but he stuffed it down immediately— another survival skill he had learned early in life. He wasn’t ready to deal with this one just yet.

_No, not today... Maybe never._

He grabbed his coat, raked his hand through his light blond hair, and winced as his fingers brushed the swelling on the side of his head. He cursed Arden under his breath for the injury before putting on his hat. And he went to fetch the boy.


	2. On the Brink

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> PART 1 - Best Friends
> 
> A boy from town and a girl from the forest, and two paths preparing to intersect.

**Chapter One - On the Brink**

_Peeta_

The boy made his way down the hall toward the study where he’d been summoned. This was the finest home in Cardinal. To live under this roof was considered a privilege, although it was a mostly lonely place for the five-year-old boy. Especially now. Other children lived in the house, too. William Jr.— or Billy— was the eldest at thirteen, Eugenia— who was called Genny— twelve, and Russell. Russ, at ten, was the youngest of the ‘official’ McIntyres.

He passed the room that Mrs. McIntyre had once occupied. She had been paralyzed from a stroke before he was born, and the large space on the main floor had been converted for her care. It sat empty now, converted into a library almost a year ago when she had finally succumbed to the degenerating state of her health. While she'd been alive, everyone had treated her with the respect due to Cardinal’s version of royalty, though she seemed mostly unaware of her surroundings as her nurse and the family attended to her needs. But the boy had sensed that she looked at him with hostility whenever he'd caught her eye. She had scared him even though she was helpless.

Mrs. McIntyre wasn’t on his mind today, however. Today his mother had been laid in the ground. His father, Mr. McIntyre— the boy always addressed him as such, or as ‘Sir’— had summoned him to the richly-decorated study. He was invited to enter when he softly knocked on the door.

Technically, the three other children were his siblings in that they shared a father, but the boys— and Russ in particular— were quick to remind him that his mother hadn’t been a real wife like theirs had been. Their mother, Russ gloated, was the last living descendent to bear the Alexander name, the family that had always run this town. Their father may have earned the family’s respect for his intelligence and skill, but he'd only been welcomed into the role of town administrator by their grandfather when he married their mother.

The boy’s mother, Marigold, his brothers claimed, was just another displaced valley dweller drawn up into the hills to their town when persistent drought had made farming impossible in the lowlands.

The boy knew a little about how his mother had come to Cardinal as a child without any other family. She would have faced an uncertain future, except for the intervention of Arden. He’d taken pity on the orphan, and, because he managed the town’s General Store and was a friend of William McIntyre, no one had questioned it when he'd taken her in, insisting he needed help with processing and milling the grains that they grew on the cleared fields near town.

A significant amount was set aside for Arden’s distilling, an occupation that he undertook in a large shed behind the store. But some of the corn, wheat, barley and rye was sold in the store for food. The boy’s mother’s last name wasn’t known, but she became the miller girl and eventually the name, Marigold Miller, had stuck.

Russell claimed that when Marigold turned eighteen she had bewitched their father with her striking blue eyes and pretty singing voice. Mrs. McIntyre had suffered her stroke the previous year. Their father had brought Marigold to live in the house ostensibly to assist their cook, Agnes, and housekeeper, Mabel, with running the household, while he took on the responsibilities that he'd previously shared with his wife in administrating the town. But the truth was that she became a surrogate ‘wife’ in all the ways that mattered.

The boy had never heard his mother complain, and William McIntyre had treated her more than fairly by the standards of the harsh world they lived in. At least that was what he was told by the brothers, though he didn’t know anything else with which to compare it. All he knew was that he missed how she would always sing as she went about even the most mundane of tasks.

Mr. McIntyre was not a man given to displays of affection for anyone, including his family, but the boy thought there had been times when his stony stare would soften ever so slightly when his mother was in his presence. When the boy asked if he loved them, his mother had given him a pensive smile and simply replied that he was a good man.

The boys however found it necessary to say mean things, how Marigold had just been a plaything for their father, a pet, an amusement, just like he was for them if they chose. They said he should be grateful that he was allowed to live in the house with the real family instead of the shed with the family’s guard dogs. They made it clear that he was a bastard with no claim to anything like a true heir. Russ had taunted him just this morning by stating he was a mere charity case, especially now that his mother was dead. The insult made him fearful of his fate as he faced this meeting with Mr. McIntyre.

Even the boy's name indicated his lowly status in the family structure. _Peat._ A forerunner of coal, a poor fuel barely recognized as a relative of the valuable commodity that they mined he was informed by the brothers. They, on the other hand, owned and ran three mines that produced a quality grade, which made them superior just by association.

Their words had stung, but when he'd first brought it up with her, his mother had touched his cheek and in her sweet voice told him that her family had been farmers in the low valleys for generations. Peat had been very valuable with helping to augment the soil for growing their food, which made it precious to them.

He was rarely admitted to the study, but today he was called over to the big arm chair in which his father sat, a drink in his hand. He was an imposing man, forty-years-old, tall with broad shoulders and a strong frame. Peat shared his blond hair, though the eyes staring back at him were a less vibrant shade of blue. But it was Mr. McIntyre’s demeanor that made everyone in town, including his own family, treat him with deference. The boy approached the man with trepidation.

Mr. McIntyre informed him that he had made a promise to his mother to provide for him until he was grown. She had been a faithful companion he told her son. Though his words remained steady and stoical, his father’s eyes seemed unfocused and lacked their usual intimidating sharpness. The boy noticed that the ice in his father’s drink rattled from a faint hand tremor. His father took a sip of liquor from the crystal glass and set it down. The boy felt his eyes welling up but fought it back to mimic his father’s formality.

“I’m a man of my word,” he said. “You will live here with us out of respect for your mother’s devotion to me, and because you are my son. You will have everything you need. You will attend school in the fall, so long as you keep up your grades. But you won’t inherit anything to do with this town or the mines from me. I am indebted to my wife, and therefore will respect her by recognizing her children only in this regard. The administration of the town and running of the mines will go to Billy, Russell, and Eugenia one day.”

Of the three other children, Peat liked Genny best. But she was difficult to figure out. She might one day be nice and the next she would ignore him. But at least she wasn’t mean.

The night his mother died, she had sat with him in his room, attempting to distract him from the unsettling exchange between his father and Arden. Peat had never seen Mr. McIntyre lose his temper before— he was always so stolid. But that night, when it was clear that his mother had taken her last breath, Arden had tried to reason with his father about calling for the undertaker. When he’d been ignored, Arden had gripped his friend’s arm, attempting to get him to turn his attention away from the woman lying in the bed before them. It had startled Mr. McIntyre and he had unexpectedly swung at the smaller, older man and grabbed him by the throat. Arden had answered the assault with a defensive blow of his own, but with a ceramic lamp instead of his fists.

As the two men hurled a string of obscenities at each other, the boy had been hustled out of the room by Mabel, the maid. Genny had been standing out in the hallway, drawn by the commotion and was ordered to take him to his room.

“Read the boy a story or something,” the maid had ordered, flustered by the drama.

He sat on his bed, stunned and too numb to even cry while his father yelled for everyone to _‘Get out!’_ As he was reeling from the realization that his mother was gone, Genny picked up the first book she found on his shelf. She began to read as she'd been instructed, but in such a lifeless, monotone whisper he wished she would stop and leave him alone. The only person he wanted to read him a story was lying in a bed, growing cold, down the hall.

“I will, however, help and support you to train in whatever field you wish to pursue as a vocation.”

The boy was brought out of his stupor by his father’s voice.

The man paused for a moment, then added in a softer tone, “You shouldn’t take offense. I came from nothing and achieved success. Just because it seems like the odds may not be in your favor, it doesn’t mean you have to let them define you. There is no dishonor in being a self-made man. Unlike the others…” By ‘others’ Peat knew he meant his siblings, “…your future is wholly within your hands.”

The man gave his shoulder a gentle squeeze— the first touch of affection Peat could remember that he'd received from him, and one of the few from anyone other than his mother. And with that, he was dismissed.

Later that night, nightmares of his mother’s moans as she lay dying drove him from his room and out to the shed that held the latest litter of puppies. They whined and clamored to lick his face, lapping up the tears as he mourned his mother, and he thought that maybe he did belong here. The puppies’ acceptance and uncomplicated affection was so nice.

 

_Katniss_

Katniss stripped off her clothing when she saw the stalks of her namesake flowers at the edge of the small lake next to where they'd spent the night. It was named Shelter Lake due to the rocky cliffs that bordered it, making this little valley feel like a hidden refuge. It was also a reliable source of the plant that she was named after. Papa was just reeling in another fine trout to add to the bounty of furs, tanned hides, cured game meat, and dried herbs to take with them into Cardinal.

It was a long walk for such a little girl, and her mother had worried.  _“She’s only five, Jack,”_ Mama had argued.

 _“Laurel, she needs to learn about the world, we can’t protect them forever,”_ Papa insisted, referring to her and her little brother, Logan. _“The sooner they learn, the safer they will be.”_

Katniss insisted she could do it and promised she wouldn’t complain. So far, she had kept her word. She was excited to see an actual town for the first time.

They had hiked as far as the cement house at the lake the previous day. It wasn’t on the way to Cardinal, requiring a detour southeast before swinging back to the north, adding several hours to their trip, but it had given Papa a chance to check some of his traplines. They would return by Papa’s usual and more direct route between their home and the town, visiting forest Katniss had never set foot in before. Ordinarily her father might have completed the trip, even with the additional miles, in one long day, especially during the summer. But, because it was Katniss’s first time and she was young, they had turned it into a more enjoyable, two-day adventure.

The rest of the way to Cardinal and back would eat up the remainder of the day. It was at least three hours to town, plus the time to make their trades, then a four mile hike back to their cabin. Fortunately, this time of year the days were long.

The anticipation of seeing Cardinal and so many unfamiliar people all in one place had made Katniss’s sleep restless the night before. They only had occasional contact with others who lived like them, scattered throughout the forests and mountainsides of this region. It had also been strange, for the first time, to not be in their own home with Mama and her three-year-old brother. But it was nice to curl up with Papa next to the fire he'd made in the house by the lake. At home Mama got that privilege, while Katniss shared a pallet mattress on the floor by their wood stove with Logan. She loved her little brother, but having Papa’s strong arms hugging her through the night was special.

This place by the lake had once been home to several families, including her mother’s. Papa said many cabins had been built in this place long ago when there were large cities and people wanted to escape to the woods once in awhile. After the world had fallen into chaos, it had become an enclave for a community of people banding together for protection. When Mama was little, an altercation with people from the mine town had resulted in a fire that destroyed all of the wooden structures.

The families had disbanded after the fire, and some even ended up moving to town, intimidated and scared to remain in the woods any longer. But the others, the ones who had become skilled at living off the land, chose to stay. They spread themselves throughout the forest, hoping that by not gathering together in large numbers, they would no longer be perceived as a threat to the town’s leaders. It made it easier to be ignored. Mama’s family had been one of the latter group.

Now all that remained was the cement building and the stone foundations of the destroyed homes. Small, wispy trees had grown back in the years that followed, but no one lived here permanently anymore. Mama refused to come back because she said it brought up bad memories. However, the abandoned spot had become part of Papa’s hunting territory. The lake was good for fishing and attracted game. He had come from families who lived higher in the mountains, and he was a skilled outdoorsman and hunter. He'd constructed the fireplace and chimney on one wall of the cement house and kept it outfitted with a few provisions for emergencies or overnight stays like this one.

When Katniss asked why this house was built of different material than the others, he said he didn’t know but thought maybe it wasn’t originally designed to be a home. While it was sturdy, it wasn’t the coziest structure. None of Mama’s group had bothered to occupy it. Maybe it had been designed for storing things that served the other structures. That’s how her mother’s community had used it. Or maybe it served some other purpose. It was a mystery what this world had been like back then.

The early summer water was chilly as Katniss waded in, but the morning sun was shining through the opening in the canopy created by the trees, releasing its radiant heat on her exposed skin. Katniss was pleased by the prospect of bringing home one of Mama’s favorites. Not only were the katniss tubers tasty when roasted, but the pretty flowers would make a nice gift. She felt very grown up going on her first trade trip with Papa to the big town. It was all very exciting and maybe a little scary to see it for the first time. But Papa was brave, and she knew nothing bad could ever happen so long as he was there.

Her parents were wary about most of the people in Cardinal, even though it had been years since there had been any violent confrontations between them and the town. The new town boss, Mr. McIntyre, generally tolerated them, and the only time the town people ventured into the forest these days was to log their trees. It helped that Arden, the town’s General Store manager, was originally from the woods like them, and he was fair to trade with. Papa said the cook for the town boss could always be counted upon to take the trout or other things they brought, too.

“Look at my _Little Duck_!” Papa laughed when he saw her submerged up to her waist at the lake’s edge. “Never afraid of the water. Or maybe I should call you _Little Trout_ , since you’ve become such a good swimmer.”

It made Katniss proud to contribute, and her father’s praise at her fearlessness made her bold, but the thought of being compared to a scaly fish rather than a finely feathered bird made her wrinkle her nose.

“No, Papa. I’m a duck!”

Her father chuckled again and agreed it was a better fit.

The tubers soon floated to the surface and Katniss collected them along with their flower stalks. She wrapped them carefully and placed them along with their roots in her own little pack for safe transport back home later today. She dressed back into her clothes as Papa gathered his fishing lines.

“You have to promise, Little Duck, to stay close to me when we get there,” he said with a sterner than usual tone to his voice. The sharpness in his hazel eyes would have frightened Katniss if she didn’t know and trust him so much.

“But why, Papa? Do they hate us?”

The questions were perplexing for someone so young and unaccustomed to human contact beyond her immediate family, where love and security were never doubted. But, on the other hand, she couldn’t help but remember her mother’s stories about the fires that had ravaged this spot.

“I’m not sure they hate us, but some of the people there can be rowdy, or even dangerous,” he explained gently. “They don’t depend on the forest the way we do. They clear land to grow their crops that the forest doesn’t produce. The most important thing for them is the coal that they trade with other towns. Which means that they need the big timbers for their mines. But we depend on the trees. That’s why we don’t live too close to Cardinal. When they cut the trees down, it scares away the game,” he explained.

Katniss knew a little about the black rocks that came out of the ground. Papa had told her of how their ancestors had once mined it for themselves for many generations. As much as the forest provided for their needs now, her family still traded for supplies in Cardinal. Mama disliked these trade runs, but they all valued the rare items they couldn’t get any other way.

It seemed like an equitable arrangement to Katniss. Surely the town people could appreciate the value of their game, furs, and tanned hides, she thought. And if even Arden, whom they trusted, had decided to live there, it must not be such a bad place.

“The people in Cardinal are busy keeping the mine operating and running the town,” Papa continued. “But if they ever get desperate, or thought we were a threat, they might not hesitate to take what we have from us.”

“But Papa, you’re the best hunter in the forest!” Katniss insisted. “No one could take something from you. You’d shoot an arrow at them with your bow!”

He smiled at her sadly and touched her cheek. “They have guns, Little Duck.”

They sat quietly for a moment longer soaking in the sun’s warmth and enjoying watch the light shimmer on the water. Papa took a deep breath, stood up and hoisted his heavy pack up onto his back.

“Time’s a-wastin’, Little Duck,” he said, dispelling all worrisome thoughts with a cheerful voice. Katniss slipped her small pack on her back and joined him as they made their way out of the clearing and back into the dense forest.


	3. Something New

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A boy from town makes an unexpected new friend.

**Chapter Two - Something New**

_Katniss_

Everything about Cardinal was too… something. Too loud, too crowded, too dirty. Katniss stuck close to her father’s side, not because he'd told her to, but because she instinctively sought the safety of his proximity. And yet, underneath the discomfort, she was a little captivated by all that she saw. At first she was amazed at the open spaces on the outskirts of town with the orchard containing dozens of fruit trees, fields and gardens growing unfamiliar crops, and even pens filled with animals. Then it gave way to buildings everywhere of all sizes and functions, roadways lined with machinery, and people milling around. It was a little overwhelming.

At the far end of the town stood a grand house. This one belonged to the McIntyres, Cardinal’s mine owners, Papa said. She was stunned that such a large home would be occupied by only one family.

They made their way around to the back of the stately structure, following a stone path to what turned out to be a kitchen door. They were greeted by a round woman with a pleasant face and red cheeks from working close to hot ovens. Her face lit up when she saw Katniss’s father.

She cleaned off her hands on her apron and exclaimed, “Well, I was hoping I’d see you this week! I hope you brought me some wild strawberries. I’ve had a hankering for a pie made with them.”

Papa laughed and added, “We picked some for you on our way here. I also have a half dozen trout caught fresh this morning, Agnes.”

“I’ll take whatever you have,” the woman declared in a cheery voice.

Katniss couldn’t take her eyes off of the enormous kitchen— the stoves, the massive preparation table covered in bowls and trays. Pots and pans hung from a rack suspended from the ceiling along with drying herbs. Glass jars of all sizes containing a variety of ingredients sat on shelves next to bins and boxes. Her eyes fell on a counter covered in rows of cookies.

The cook bent down to look Katniss in the eye. “Well I’m guessing that this young lady is your daughter,” she said with a warm smile. “She looks just like you.”

Papa grinned and patted Katniss on her shoulder. “She’s my new trading partner,” he said with pride.

“Go ahead, child, help yourself,” Agnes said in her chirpy voice, gesturing toward the cookies. Katniss looked up at her father, and, when he nodded, she reached for the treat. It was still a little warm from the oven, full of raisins and nuts, and tasted wonderful, causing Katniss’s eyes to widen with approval.

“Well, apparently the young lad didn’t do too bad a job helping me prepare the dough this morning from the look on your face,” she said to Katniss. “He’s had a rough time of it these past few weeks with his mother so ill. And we just laid her in the ground yesterday, poor thing,” she disclosed to her father. “I try to keep him occupied, but it’s hard to lose a parent, especially at such a young age. He’s only five, probably no older than this sweet girl.”

When Papa confirmed her age, the cook continued, “She was such a dear, his Ma, always helping me out in the kitchen. The sweetest way about her. And no one made pastry like her. It’s a talent you know— she was born with the right touch.” She paused and then her face turned serious as she leaned toward Papa. “Mr. McIntyre and Arden came to blows the night when she passed. Such a terrible display for the lad,” she whispered in a furtive voice, shaking her head in disapproval.

Papa raised his eyebrows, and Katniss was appalled that people would ever fight under such circumstances.

“He never even had a wake for her,” Agnes said, with dismay. “The next morning, he told Arden to go collect the undertaker and have the grave prepared. When Arden asked about making arrangements, Mr. McIntyre declared that the town never treated her with enough respect when she was alive, why should they now that she was dead? He said she didn’t need a bunch of hypocrites pretending to care. Then he told us that he had work to do, and if anyone needed him he’d be in his study. Just told Arden to let him know when they were ready for the burial.”

When Agnes turned back to the ovens to tend to her cooking, Katniss whispered to her father, “What’s a wake?”

Papa whispered back that he’d explain on the way home. Agnes went on to say that Mr. McIntyre wasn’t right, that there were plenty of people who thought well of the woman who had died, but she added, with a roll of her eyes, that often the loudest voices are all that get heard.

Agnes’s happy disposition soon returned as her conversation moved on to other, lighter news, and Papa listened politely as the cook prattled on about the latest gossip circulating around town. As she chewed her cookie, Katniss caught her father giving her a wink when the cook turned away momentarily to give a large pot on the stove a stir. With his hand he mimed a duck quacking. She giggled but thought that the cook seemed nice enough even if she talked non-stop. But she couldn’t help wondering about ‘the lad’ who'd helped to make the cookies.

As they engaged in a few more minutes of small talk, Papa unpacked the strawberries and the trout. Agnes fetched a couple small rounds of her cheese and some wrapped packages Katniss knew would be filled with herbs and spices that grew in her boss’s garden. This was a standard trade with the McIntyres' cook. After Agnes insisted that Katniss accept another cookie, they said goodbye and made their way across the open square to Cardinal’s General Store.

There were other shops in town where workers made or repaired things, but the General Store was authorized for trading most of the necessities, even for the town people, Papa said. The mine workers, he told her, were paid in credit notes valid at the store, and they bought whatever they needed from Arden. He said many would probably be willing to trade with them, the way they bartered between themselves, but it was best to not make waves by going against the rules. Besides, the town store had most of what they wanted.

A tinkle of bells rang announcing their arrival as they opened the door and went inside. If Katniss had been amazed by what she saw in the McIntyre kitchen, she was astounded by what she saw in the store. She couldn’t stop gawking at all the merchandise. Food, bolts of fabric, boxes, jars and tins full of all sorts of wonders. Shelves were brimming with tools and pots and pans, candles and soaps. And there were bushels of all sorts of produce not familiar to her.

Papa was greeted by an older, swarthy man with graying hair. She knew that he must be Arden. For the first time since they arrived she felt her wonderment override her trepidation. What would Papa trade for and how could anyone possibly decide with so much to choose from?

 

_Peeta_

Peat sat at the table in the back room of the General Store, staring at the piece of paper in front of him. He liked it here. This place and the kitchen in the house were two of the places he felt most welcome and could escape. But, best of all, the brothers left him alone here.

The shop manager was in his late fifties and always maintained a somewhat rumpled appearance. He was generally a rough but likable man who smelled of the alcohol he distilled and drank a little too much of. But he extended a certain kindness to the boy. Arden admitted he’d had a soft spot for his mother, so maybe he just reminded him of her.

He’d heard his father claim that he tolerated the shop manager’s unrefined gruffness and occasional disregard for authority because he distilled a liquor that was particularly appealing. But the real reason, the boy knew, was that their friendship went way back, to the time his father first come to Cardinal. They had forged a partnership back then. The fact that Arden ran the most important business in town, after the mines, was testament to the high regard his father had for him.

The boy started to draw with the charcoal pencil he’d stolen from Russ’s desk. He could have asked Genny, and though she could be pretty reserved, Peat knew she would have given him one. But it gave him a little satisfaction to get one over on Russ. Already his mother’s face from when she had been healthy was getting fuzzy in his memory, and he was afraid if he didn’t get it down on paper he would forget altogether. There were a few photographs scattered around the house, but none of her.

He looked at the teddy bear he’d brought, sitting on the table in front of him, and, running his fingers over the soft, dark fur, he admired the shiny gray eyes. They were made from the same anthracite that his father had as a large paperweight on his desk in the study, and they were polished to a smooth sheen. The bear had been a gift from his mother one day after he’d awoken from a bad dream. She'd made it herself and told him that it would help him to be brave if the nightmares ever returned. It was one of the earliest recollections he had of her and he treasured both the memory and the bear.

His five-year-old scribblings couldn’t match what he saw in his mind, though, and it made him frustrated. Maybe if he could get his hands on Genny’s fancy coloring pencils he could at least give her the right color of eyes before he forgot the exact shade.

He mentioned it to Arden who laughed as gently as his gravelly voice allowed, ruffled the hair on Peat’s head, and replied, “Just go look in the mirror if you need a reminder.”

Peat looked up when he heard the bell ring as someone entered the store. Arden left the back room and went up front when his assistant, Beth, announced that a hunter was there to trade. He could hear the store manager’s big voice welcoming the visitor with enthusiasm. He told the teenage girl to help unload whatever the hunter had brought.

Just like his mother, Arden’s assistant was another orphan he’d hired. He’d overheard Arden claim how the girls without any kin were especially vulnerable in this town. Arden said that he might not be able to save them all, but he did what he could. Peat wondered what he meant, but thought it best to not ask.

He leaned back on his stool to peek through the door to catch a glimpse of the visitor. He was the forest man with the same olive skin as Arden and the dark hair that still peppered Arden’s gray strands. Peat had seen him trading with their cook and the store manager before. The man always piqued his curiosity, but it was the little girl who was with him that caught his attention today.

She shared the coloring of the two men, except for her eyes. While theirs were hazel, hers reminded him of pieces of anthracite, same as his teddy bear. Dark gray with a silvery sheen. Anthracite was the most rare and valuable form of coal, he’d been told, and all Peat could think was that if his lowly name sake made him the least valued person in his house, surely this girl was some kind of princess. She wasn’t dressed like one though, with pants that were well worn and patched at the knees, leather boots that laced up, and a shirt the color of faded pine. She wore her long, dark hair in two braids that framed her face and were tied with scraps of red cloth.

Her expression as she surveilled the interior of the General Store was one of shock, but he wasn’t sure if it was with reproach or delight. She caught his stare and returned it with one of curiosity. He became a tad uncomfortable at how she seemed a little fixated on examining him. He felt himself blush under this scrutiny, and, turning away, he dropped his eyes back to his drawing. But he listened carefully as the men negotiated. The trader had always come alone before, but this girl, she must be his daughter.

“What’s this?” the hunter asked jovially. “Have a run-in with an unhappy customer?”

Peat looked up to see the man gesturing to the yellowing bruise on Arden’s jawline.

The shop manager grumbled under his breath and answered, “No. Worse.”

“Yeah, actually, I heard a little about that,” the hunter said quietly.

Arden’s eyebrows raised, then relaxed as he replied, “Oh, let me guess, you’ve been to see Agnes.” The hunter chuckled softly in reply.

Peat didn’t want to think about that night, so he pushed aside the drawing of his mother, selected a new piece of paper, and started to draw a picture of the puppies wrestling in the grass.

“Hello.”

He was startled by the sweet voice that came from over his shoulder. How did she move so silently? The girl’s expression was animated as she nodded her head toward his bear, and, when he remained silent, unable to think of anything to say, she reached over to stroke the toy’s head.

“This is one of our furs,” she declared.

He nodded. She was likely correct. Something about her musical voice seemed familiar.

“Who’s this?” she asked, pointing to the image of his mother that he’d set aside.

He swallowed and whispered, “My mother.” He felt it was necessary to add, “She died a couple days ago,” as an explanation, and he fought back the tears that were forming, embarrassed for this magnificent girl to see him this way. When he saw the pity in her eyes, he had to turn away. One hand continued to draw, while the other tugged at the shaggy blond waves in a futile attempt to hide his face.

In a hushed voice Arden spoke to the hunter, “You remember my Marigold? Our town doctor said it was some kind of cancer. It spread aggressively, beyond his ability to treat. Horrible thing to see." He shook his head. "Damn Capitol doctors,” he snarled. “William had asked for months for them to send one of their experts to examine her, before they bothered to show up. By the time one arrived in Cardinal, he said there was nothing to be done about it. He left vials of something called morphling and told William to keep her as comfortable as he could. That was it. In the end it didn’t much matter. It had spread to her brain by that time so her mind was gone, which was just as painful a thing to see.“ Peat saw Arden scowl.

A moment later, the hunter asked, “Should I be worried about that?” indicating the bruise on Arden’s jaw. “I mean, about trading and the stability of things here?”

The store manager waved his hand dismissively. “No, no, nothing to worry about. Just some kind of flashback brought on by the stress, but things are okay now. Back to normal, more or less. Well for some of us anyway.” Peat was aware of Arden’s eyes examining him, and he saw sorrow in them.

After a moment of silence, Arden spoke up, “So what'll it be today, Jack?”

The hunter indicated some dry goods— beans, salt, sugar, flour, along with a container of coal oil.

“Laurel gathered and dried the herbs you asked for,” the hunter said as he handed over a leather pouch to Arden.

“Oh that’s excellent! They’ve been sending us fancy medicines since the trains starting running, but most of the mine folks can’t afford what that Capitol stuff costs. My Ma always used what she could find in the forest. She was a healer just like your Laurel. That’s how I grew up, and I don’t see the point in changing now. Besides, I don’t trust these Capitol doctors and their ways. It’s not like they did anything for our Marigold,” he said with disgust.

Peat focused on the paper in front of him, still trying to banish the memory. The hunter uttered some words in agreement as Arden added the herbs to his collection on the shelf.

Peat could feel the shiny gray eyes on him even as he continued to sketch the puppies. It made him feel a little self-conscious, even though the hunter’s daughter intrigued him. Fortunately, Arden came to his rescue. “Peat, why don’t you make yourself useful and help Beth collect what Mr. Everdeen wants,” Arden said.

“Anything else we need, Katniss?” he heard the hunter ask his daughter. “What presents should we bring home for your mother and Logan?”

She selected a toy for whom he guessed was her younger brother, and she and her father chose some fabric and a bar of fancy soap for the mother. The little girl pointed out some candy and ribbons when her father insisted she pick something for herself.

Peat did as Arden asked, helping to gather the merchandise. The trade was made and the girl’s father hoisted the heavy pack on his back. Then the hunter and his daughter left to return to wherever in the woods they called home. He watched them walk away until he could see them no more.

“Well, well, looks like you made a friend,” Arden chuckled from the back room.

Peat went to join him to discover whatever he meant, and he saw it lying across the sketch of his mother. It was a long stem of pretty white flowers. He picked it up carefully in order to better examine it in the light shining in from the window.

“That looks like a katniss flower,” Arden declared.

 _Katniss_. The name that the hunter had called his daughter. For the first time since his mother had taken ill, he felt the heaviness of grief lift ever so slightly. The little girl with the eyes like the precious form of coal and who was named after the pretty flower had given him a gift. A complete stranger. He hoped she came back with her father the next time he came to town.

That night when he went to bed, he was dismayed when he couldn’t find his drawing of his mother. It must have been misplaced— probably tossed out by the maid when she cleaned up after supper. But he still had the katniss flower stem in a vase on his dresser, and with it came the first bit of optimism he’d felt in a long time.

 _Maybe I can make a gift for her next time_ , he thought. And his mind started to imagine what he could give her that she might like. It was the first night in all the weeks since his mother had taken ill that he wasn’t awaken by a nightmare.


	4. Friends

**Chapter Three - Friends**

_Peeta_

Spring, the year that he turned six, was in full bloom when Peat made his way into the forest. The town was barely waking up to a new day, and he only had a little time as it was a school day and he would be expected back home for breakfast soon. He was compelled to seek out a unique bouquet to leave by his mother’s grave. He'd gotten the idea from Katniss when she had described all sorts of wildflowers that could be found in the forest this time of year.

It had been almost a year since his mother died, and the pain and sense of loss still found him, especially at night. But the loneliness had begun to ebb. There were times when he would wake to the feeling that she had been in his room to kiss him goodnight, just like he remembered she used to do. But when he would open his eyes, no one was there. Sometimes he’d even scrunch his eyes shut hoping that if he did maybe she’d materialize, but it never worked. And yet, it gave him a little peace during his sleep, and he was grateful for at least that small connection to the one person he knew with certainty who loved him.

Whenever he entered the woods he left Peat behind and become Peeta. His new name had come about the second time he and Katniss met. The weight of ridicule from the brothers, due to his real name, had been lifted with its arrival.

Autumn had just arrived when the Everdeens returned to trade again. Peat had kept a watch out for them, wanting to give a gift to the hunter’s daughter in return for the katniss flower. He’d worried that they would come and he’d miss them, so he’d taken to hanging around the store or in the kitchen at home whenever he could, because he knew they would show up there. They were two of his favorite places anyway, and he found the time spent baking with Agnes, or helping out the grumpy store manager, helped to fill the vacuum left by his mother’s absence. He’d made Arden swear to set aside his drawing to give to Katniss if she and her father came back when he was in school. Fortunately they had shown up on a Saturday when they next returned to Cardinal.

During those first couple of months of school, he discovered that he was actually quite likable despite what Russ had to say. Maybe it had something to do with his willingness to befriend anyone, including the children of the mine workers. His brother had no use for any of them and only hung around the kids from Cardinal’s most influential families. Billy seemed to share his brother’s disdain, but was more of a loner, he observed.

Genny, however, could often be seen spending time with a variety of kids from all social strata, just like Peat, but she remained an enigma. When Russ asked her why she bothered wasting time with members of Cardinal’s less significant population, she claimed that it was important to set an example as the town’s leading family by mingling with everyone. However, despite her words, she appeared to have genuine friendships with everyone she associated. All in all, he liked school. Even his teachers seemed nice.

The subject of his name, however, was a matter of some confusion. On the first day of class when each new student was asked to give his or her full name, Peat had been stumped. What was his last name? The brothers had emphatically insisted he had no claim on the surname ‘McIntyre’, but was he therefore Peat Miller, after his mother? It was an awkward question and he didn’t know how to answer it. The teacher was apparently uncertain as well, so she compromised and he was simply referred to as Peat M.

But the issue of his first name had been addressed by Katniss.

“I’m Katniss Everdeen,” she introduced herself during that October trade trip. She accepted his gift— a drawing of the katniss flower she had given him— along with several pieces of the same candy he remembered she'd chosen the last time she came to town. When her beautiful eyes lit up at the sight of the gift, his heart swelled.

His mouth was a little dry and it was difficult to speak, but he swallowed and managed to utter the words. “Yes, I remember,” Peat replied pointing to the flower drawing and her name, which he'd carefully printed at the bottom of the page with Arden's help. “Arden called your father, ‘Mr. Everdeen’,” he explained. He noted how she traced the letters of her name with her finger.

“What’s your name?” she asked as she looked up from the picture in her hand.

“Peat… uh…” he began but suddenly faltered, the old dilemma of his surname giving him pause.

“Peet-a?” she replied quizzically, while he frantically searched his mind to come up with an appropriate answer, embarrassed to not have one to give. “Peeta,” she repeated slowly.

He was distracted from his thoughts by how she scrunched up her face as she seemed to savor his name. Her voice had such a melodic sound to it when she said it that he remained mute. It reminded him of his mother’s musical voice. She said it again, but this time with a smile that warmed him to the core. He nodded and grinned in return. It sounded nice when she said his name that way, as if his other identity— _Peat M_ — belonged to this whole other person— the interloper in the McIntyre house, with a disinterested father, mean brothers, and a dead mother. The boy whom no one seemed to know exactly how to deal with, because his place in the McIntyre family was so ill-defined.

But with Katniss, he could be _Peeta—_  the boy with a friend from the woods. Yes, if she wanted to call him Peeta, that was just fine with him. More than that, he wanted to be Peeta. He might be Peat to the McIntyres and other people in town, but in his mind he chose to be Peeta. Because the girl with the eyes like anthracite and musical voice had invented it. He considered the name to be the second gift she had given to him, even if she didn’t know it, and he cherished it. The matter of his surname never came up.

The sun’s warmth reminded him that the morning was well advanced and he needed to hurry. Fortunately, he didn’t have to go far before he found what he was looking for. He stopped briefly and wondered where Katniss was at that moment and if she was somewhere nearby. It was her sixth birthday today and he still didn’t have the right gift for her. She seemed to be fascinated with his storybooks from school, and he wondered about giving her one of them.

He turned to make his way home, worrying that Agnes might scold him for being late for breakfast, especially so close to school time. On his way back to Cardinal he stopped at the cemetery with his handful of forest flowers and was surprised to see that yellow and orange marigolds had been planted by his mother’s simple wooden marker. He wondered who could have done this.

 

_Katniss_

As the seasons slowly changed, Katniss began to mark their passage by the return visits to Cardinal. Her initial apprehension at visiting the town had given way to anticipation. She now had her own small collection of pelts and medicinal herbs, and Papa had agreed she could trade them for whatever she wanted. He’d even made her a tiny version of his own bow so that she could practice to hunt like he did. She still had a lot to learn, but her snares had caught the rabbits that provided the pelts. Her mother had shown her how to skin and tan the hides, and they'd enjoyed the meat.

Katniss thrived with this new sense of independence. And she enjoyed each opportunity to see her friend, Peeta. They continued their unspoken agreement of exchanging gifts while they got to know each other better during their brief visits. She would describe how she was getting more adept with her new bow and how occasionally they would be visited by other forest families, usually in need of her mother’s medical attention.

Peeta told her about what his first year of school had been like and what things he'd learned. When she told him that she wished she could go to school, too, he was quick to say that her life sounded exciting, and how it must be nice having the freedom to be outdoors all day instead of cooped up in a stuffy classroom. But she was pretty sure he said it simply to make her feel better. Because the next time she visited, almost exactly one year to the day that they'd first met, he handed her a package wrapped in pretty printed paper and tied with a ribbon. The ribbon was green and she knew Peeta had selected it specially because it was her favorite color.

Inside was a book. When she opened up the pages, in front of her were beautiful illustrations on one side and accompanying stories printed opposite them. Peeta explained that the stories paired with the pictures, and he turned the pages to point out a few of his favorites to her. When she asked, he read the first story to her. He traced the lines with his finger as he slowly read, and she could tell that he must be trying to be careful to not make any mistakes. Katniss listened intently, trying to memorize the words as Peeta recited them so she could study the printed text later. When it was time to go, she placed the book carefully back in the pretty paper with the ribbon, and made sure it was safely protected in her pack for the journey home.

After she got back to their cabin, Katniss studied the illustrations and then stared at the words printed on the pages opposite them. She imagined the stories that were hidden inside, as if they were a riddle to solve. And on each trip back to Cardinal, she brought it with her, so that Peeta could read another story to her.

As winter approached she enlisted her mother’s help to make an especially suitable gift for Peeta in return for the story book that over the past months had become precious to her. She wanted her present to be ready to take to Cardinal on their last trip before the snow came.

 

_Peeta_

Peeta wondered when Katniss would come to town again. On her last visit, just before the arrival of the first winter storm, she had presented him with his favorite gift so far. It was a pair of fur-lined mittens with the softest leather he'd ever felt. They were carefully stitched, and Katniss told him they were practically waterproof. He appreciated the workmanship, but the fact that Katniss had made them herself was what made them special. He’d worn them to bed that night, even though they made his hands feel too hot and sweaty. But the next day, when the snow finally arrived and the air turned chilly, he marvelled at how perfect they were.

He couldn’t hide his disappointment when Mr. Everdeen showed up for his first trade trip after the spring thaw with his son, Logan, instead of his friend. When he inquired about Katniss, Mr. Everdeen said that Katniss’s little brother was now five-years-old, the same age Katniss had been on her first visit. He explained that it was his turn to learn about trading in Cardinal.

Logan handed him a handful of pussy willow branches and said it was an early gift from Katniss for his seventh birthday. Agnes had informed him about how much Katniss had liked the cookies he made, so Peeta always made sure there was a supply on hand in their cookie jar, for whenever she showed up. He insisted that Logan take a bag of them home with him to give to her in exchange for the pussy willows that she sent in her absence. Arden called the soft gray buds _'catkins from Katniss'_ which sounded almost like a rhyme. The next day Peeta took the branches to the cemetery to show them to his mother, and he told her all about the girl from the forest. When he got up to leave, he left one of pussy willow branches behind for her.

Peeta celebrated his seventh birthday by helping Agnes make his birthday cake. He insisted he wanted to help even though she thought it was a bit odd.

“You want to help decorate your own cake?” she asked incredulously. “It’s supposed to be a surprise, you know.” She added with a stern face, “What? Do you think I won’t do a good enough job?”

Peeta felt momentarily mortified that he'd insulted one of the few people who was truly kind to him, but he was relieved when she smirked and handed him the bowl of icing.

“So what color should we make it?” she asked.

He thought of the marigolds that had mysteriously appeared at his mother’s gravesite yet again that spring and decided on his favorite color.

“Orange,” he stated, and Agnes nodded and, with a wink, reached for the red and yellow dyes.

The months passed, thankfully with Katniss's return on some of the hunter’s trade trips. She always brought the story book, and Peeta enjoyed indulging her by reading a new story she selected. He was gratified at how enthusiastically she hung on every word that he read, though it struck him as unfair that her family was unable to read.

Cardinal had a special home built next to the school that boarded the children from Aurora and Hespera, the neighboring settlements whose mines his father controlled. While their parents worked in the mines in the distant communities, their children attended Cardinal’s school in exchange for their parents' labor. But the forest families did not have this access because they did not work for Mr. McIntyre.

On the last day of school before winter break, Peeta was called into Mr. McIntyre’s study to review his mid-term report card, which was the routine each semester. It was the night of the New Year's Festival and the town was gearing up for the celebration. He knew his grades had been mostly good, as his father had required, but Peeta was always nervous about these meetings. Billy, Genny and Russ had all had their turns. As he stood outside, waiting to be called, Russ emerged and, with a sneer, jostled him with his shoulder when he walked past. Peeta knew better than to react, so he ignored him and entered the study when he heard Mr. McIntyre say his name.

William McIntyre silently read the report from across his large desk while Peeta sat in the chair opposite him. His father’s face was stern and unreadable. When he spoke it was to say, “Apparently you enjoy drawing and show talent in art.”

Peeta was surprised that this would capture his attention compared to the other subjects. When he handed the papers back, Peeta, in his nervousness while reaching across the desk, knocked the large anthracite paperweight with his elbow. The rare piece— more precious than even the variety of coal they mined— crashed to the wood floor and shattered into several pieces. At first his father flinched and stiffened, his eyes fixed on Peeta. After a couple of awkward seconds, he pushed back from the desk and rose from his chair.

Peeta felt a terror wash over him, unsure of what kind of punishment he would receive for his clumsiness. But Mr. McIntyre did an unexpected thing. He made his way around to the pile of coal debris, got down on the floor, and, after some deliberation, selected a piece. He turned it over and over in his hand, studying it closely. Then he went over to a wooden cabinet and took out a leather-wrapped bundle, sat back down, and unrolled it on the floor beside him. In it was an assortment of fine-tipped wood-handled tools. He selected one and started to work on the chunk of hard coal.

“You have to look for the shape inside the piece,” he said cryptically as he chipped and gouged out tiny sections and imperfections. “Try to figure out what it wants to be.”

Peeta got out of his chair and joined his father on the floor to get a better look. He soon forgot his dread and watched intently as the figure began to take shape. Mr. McIntyre spoke as he worked, describing what he was doing, making sure Peeta took note of how he held his hands to avoid injury from the sharp instruments.

When he was done, almost a half hour had passed, and the outline of a squirrel appeared. His father sat the tiny creature on the palm of his hand as if weighing it. Its tail hugged its back and its front paws were clasped in front of its chest.

When Peeta glanced up from the carving to look at his father, he saw the corner of his mouth rise ever so slightly.

“I haven't carved in years. It’s pretty rough, though. Still needs some fine work and polishing,” he declared, but Peeta thought it was amazing. “It’s yours if you’d like to finish it for me.”

Peeta looked up into his pale blue eyes, nodded, and reached out for the squirrel. But his father drew it back slightly and added, “It’s a reward for your good report, but first you need to clean up the mess.”

Peeta agreed enthusiastically, and went to retrieve a broom and dustpan. But he noticed his father selected all the larger pieces from the shattered remains.

That night the town celebrated with music and whoops of laughter and merriment. But before he went to bed, Peeta found a set of small carving tools and special paper for polishing left on his bedside table beside the squirrel. There were also a couple more pieces of anthracite. He placed the rocks and tools in the back of his top drawer for safe keeping.

After diligently working the next day, finishing the squirrel and polishing it to a fine sheen, Peeta was pleased with the result. His first thought was to give it to Katniss for her next visit as part of their usual gift exchange. But then he thought of his father and the wry smile he'd given him when he had handed him the figurine. He made his way to the study instead.

As he approached the door, however, he could hear the heated voice of his father talking to the mine foreman.

“The men are complaining already about having to work Sundays on alternating weeks, how do you think they will react to increased hours?” the foreman protested in return.

“It’s irrelevant what they think. They don’t answer to the Capitol. I do,” Mr. McIntyre stated. “It’s a new year and the Capitol has dictated new quotas as part of our agreement. It's up to us to find new efficiencies or risk losing their support. If you and I don’t find a way to increase production, I assure you they will, and their solutions may not be as generous. Increase the work day as I ordered.”

With that, the foreman was dismissed. Peeta hid behind the door as the man stomped out, grumbling under his breath. He peered around the door and saw his father in profile, scowling as he stared out his window. But his eyes appeared to be unfocused on the view. His jaw was clenched, as were his fists. Peeta quietly placed the squirrel on the floor beside the door and tiptoed back along the hall and out the front door.

The next day, as he walked past, he noticed their maid, Mabel, dusting the shelves in the study. She saw him standing in front of the open door and informed him that Mr. McIntyre had left that afternoon on the train for the Capitol. But he saw the squirrel sitting on the desk in the place that had been previously occupied by the large anthracite paperweight.

Later that day Peeta selected one of the pieces of the shiny coal and studied it closely, trying to see what it wanted to become, like his father had instructed. But no matter how he turned it, it just wouldn’t appear. Impatient, he took one of the tools and made a tentative cut. To his dismay, the corner fractured off where he had used the tool. He wondered if this was what Mr. McIntyre had meant about waiting for the rock to speak to him.

He decided to go see Arden and get his opinion. Arden raised his eyebrows when he saw the tools and anthracite. “William gave you those?” he asked.

Peeta told him about the squirrel, and Arden seemed amused.

“I thought he’d given up on such pursuits years ago. Guess you inspired him,” he said. “Well, if you’re having trouble with that coal, you might want to practice on something easier and more plentiful. How about some wood? You’ve seen that chess set your father and I play with?”

Peeta nodded, remembering seeing the set in the library.

“Your father made that back when he was just a teenager shortly after we became friends. Maybe you could make one for yourself,” Arden suggested and went to fetch him some dried pieces of wood of a variety that he thought would be ideal.

Peeta examined the samples Arden gave him, and tried out the carving tools to see how they felt working on wood instead. He made note to examine the chess pieces in the house more closely.

The winter began to wane and spring finally arrived. As with the previous year, Mr. Everdeen arrived with Logan as his trade companion for the first visit to town. Peeta tried to hide his disappointment, though he understood this was the new pattern. He told himself that the next visit, likely coinciding with Katniss's eighth birthday, would mark her return to Cardinal.

Peeta felt discouraged though, as the weeks ticked by drawing closer to the day that Katniss would return, because he still didn’t have the right gift. He thought about the anthracite, but inevitably he would end up carving another piece for his chess set. He would often take out the shiny coal and study each piece, hoping to find its hidden design. It reminded him so much of her eyes, and he knew it would be the perfect gift if only he could figure out what it wanted to be. But it continued to remain elusive.

“I’ll figure you out yet,” he said to the rocks and replaced them in the back of his drawer.


	5. A Gift for Katniss

**Chapter Four - A Gift for Katniss**

_Katniss_

It was the first week of May, a few days before Katniss’s eighth birthday, when she and her father returned to Cardinal. Even though it was Sunday, the town was busy because it was on Sunday mornings that the trains always arrived. While some of the population enjoyed the day off, others were required to work loading and unloading the shipments, as well as in the mines, on a rotating schedule, Peeta had explained. But today seemed busier than usual. The reason for the activity became apparent as they approached the McIntyre house. Beyond it, the train station was visible, and over a dozen workers were unloading some kind of large equipment.

Katniss could see a stocky man barking out orders while another man, tall with blond hair, stood silently watching at a distance. In the years since she had been coming to Cardinal, Katniss had never seen Peeta’s father, and her friend rarely mentioned him, but she knew by the similar color of his hair and fair complexion, along with his authoritative bearing, that it could be no one else but the town boss, Mr. McIntyre.

As they rounded the corner of the house to head for the kitchen door, Peeta met them coming from the garden with a basket in his hands. When he looked up, he gave a big smile and immediately came over to greet them. The basket was full of red stalks that her friend called rhubarb, which Agnes was using to make preserves today.

“What’s this?” Agnes declared warmly when Peeta opened the door for her and her father. “I wasn’t expecting you for at least another week.”

“Well, I hope that doesn’t mean you aren’t ready to trade,” Papa chuckled. Agnes assured him otherwise, especially when she saw the contents of a bag that Papa handed to her. “I thought you’d appreciate some morel mushrooms,” he said. “Katniss and Logan collected them, and Laurel dried them for you. The woods are full of them with the recent rain.”

Agnes expressed her delight, and, with a wink, she asked if they might join her and Peeta for a homemade lunch as part of their trade. Katniss suspected the cook liked having her father’s willing ear as she droned on endlessly. When Papa mentioned all the excitement at the train station, she replied that ever since the trains had started running it had been a source of constant grumbling. People didn’t like being forced to work Sundays, even if it was on a rotating schedule that gave them every other weekend off. They expected to have the day off to attend Cardinal’s church, make their purchases at the General Store, or spend time with their families. Agnes defended her boss, though, saying he never took any days off himself.

The kitchen was full of tantalizing scents. A large pot on the stove was the source of the pungent aroma— likely some kind of soup. But something else commingled in the air. Her eyes located the origin of the savory scent when they fell on two dozen buns cooling on the counter in front of her. Catching the direction of her gaze, Peeta explained that they were cheese buns. He said it was the first time he’d made them by himself, since Agnes had her hands full with preparing her jam, compote and soup today.

“She says I’m better at it anyway,” he said with a modest shrug. He leaned close and whispered, “But I think she just likes to have someone else help her with the baking. Here, try one,” he offered to Katniss.

She accepted it eagerly. It was still warm, and the flavors and texture of the bread, herbs and cheese were heavenly. With her mouth still full, she mumbled how yummy they were, and she could see that Peeta was pleased. He immediately passed her another one.

While she ate, Agnes described how Mr. McIntyre had arranged for the new fancy equipment to be sent to Cardinal to help with the mine work. Katniss quickly lost interest as the conversation went on, instead focusing on consuming the bowl of soup that Agnes placed in front of her. When she was finished, she turned her attention back to Peeta. He handed her a stalk of rhubarb and she scrunched up her face when she took a bite. He laughed and then demonstrated how he dipped the end of his piece in the sugar bowl first. She followed his example, but the tart flavor still made her pucker. She leaned close and stated that she thought that his cheese buns were much better.

With lunch and trading complete, Agnes sent them on their way with instructions to come back later to collect some jars of rhubarb preserves, informing them of how her dearly departed husband had sworn by it for his stomach ailments. Papa thanked her and said Mama always appreciated learning about medicinal uses of new plants. This made Agnes blush with pride, and she promised to send a crown of rhubarb home with them when it was time to divide the plant in the fall.

Katniss followed Peeta into the back of the General Store while Papa talked with Arden. 

She took out the story book from her pack and handed it to him. “Only one more story to go,” she said.

Katniss noticed that Peeta looked anxious and fidgety for some reason. When she asked him what was wrong, he said that he didn’t have a birthday gift for her yet. The fact that he seemed so upset about it bothered her more than the lack of gift. After almost three years, she knew that getting to spend time with her friend was the highlight of her trips to Cardinal. The gift giving was fun and was meant to make each other happy, not distressed.

“But you baked cheese buns for me,” she declared emphatically. “They’re my new most favorite thing.”

“You really like them?” he asked with suspicion.

“They’re the best thing I’ve ever eaten,” she stated sincerely.

“I wish I could've made you a cake for your birthday instead,” he countered.

Katniss shook her head and reassured him that the buns were perfect. Peeta didn’t seem totally convinced, but he promised to gather up some more to take with her, along with the cookies he always had on hand, when they stopped back at the house before they left town.

While Beth and Arden helped gather up supplies for her father, Peeta read the final story from the book. When he was done he handed it to her, but Katniss gave it back. She could see the confusion on his face. He reminded her that he'd meant it as a gift. She simply shrugged and said that she'd really liked having him read all the stories to her and that she'd enjoyed looking at the illustrations.

She found it difficult to explain that, after spending months looking at the words and dreaming about the stories, it had become a source of sadness and frustration. So she said it didn't seem right to keep it when she couldn’t read the words on her own. She couldn’t ignore the look of hurt on his face, and she wondered if she should have just kept the book.

Peeta’s face suddenly lit up with an idea, and he rushed out to the front of the store. He returned with a heavy, leather-bound book. It looked very old, and she saw that the pages were dog-eared and yellowed when he flipped it open. Inside were illustrations of plants with what appeared to be labels and brief descriptions. Katniss recognized most of them as she flipped through the pages. Peeta said it had belonged to Arden’s mother, and probably her mother before that.

”It’s a healing plant book,” he said, which she knew was true because in it were illustrations of all sorts of things they collected from the wild for treating ailments.

“Maybe this is easier, because you probably know what they’re called already.”

As they studied the pages, Peeta pointed out the names of the familiar plants that were written beneath their pictures and together they sounded out the letters. She and Peeta were so involved in the task that she was startled when Papa called from the front of the store and asked her what she would like for her eighth birthday.

Before she stopped to think, the words came pouring out. “I want to learn to read, like Peeta,” she declared, gripping the heavy book in her hands to show Papa.

As soon as the words were out, she instantly regretted it. Katniss felt her face flush from shame when she saw the sad expression on her father’s face. She realized that she had asked him for something he couldn’t provide, and it pained her to be the one to remind him of it. Living in the woods, even with illiterate parents, might be adventurous according to Peeta, but this was one thing only access to the town and its schools could offer. It was a life that she knew they would never accept.

 

_Peeta_

Everyone fell into an awkward silence.

 _Think fast,_  Peeta told himself. His mind analyzed the problem and searched for an answer. Anything to give Katniss what she desired for her birthday. Something that he knew he should be able to provide if only he could devise a strategy.

“I could teach you,” Peeta impulsively blurted out.

“Now, how would that work?” Arden scoffed good-naturedly. “Unless you’re the best teacher in the world, I doubt even you could manage that task in the short time the Everdeens are here every few months.”

“When summer’s here, I could come to the woods and teach you. I could meet you any day you wanted,” he explained.

All three gawked at him, stunned and speechless, until finally Arden spoke up.

“You’re both awfully young for such a bold endeavor. Besides, what experience do you have in the woods?” Arden stated as he nudged Peeta’s shoulder playfully. “You’d get lost or hurt and then what would we do?” His voice was teasing, but Peeta could tell he said it with affection.

Mr. Everdeen furrowed his brow. “Well, that’s a big undertaking, plus we live a very long walk from here. But it’s a kind thing to offer, son.”

“We could meet part way, at Halfway Lake,” Katniss chirped, picking up on Peeta’s lead, her eyes wide with hope.

The hunter shook his head. “I need you to help with my traplines…”

“But Logan is old enough to help you now,” she insisted.

“And your Mama may have other ideas…” Her father stopped mid-sentence and gave a sigh.

Everyone could see determination on Katniss’s face, and Peeta was encouraged that maybe a deal could be made. Anything to be able to spend more time with Katniss. Suddenly, the idea of a summer free of the stifling McIntyre house, having untold adventures out in the forest, filled him with an optimism he discovered that he was scared to let go of.

“You’re both so young, Little Duck. Maybe when you’re older,” Mr. Everdeen said quietly after a long pause. Peeta could see Katniss’s hopes dashed, and he felt a sympathetic pain that the chance to give her the birthday present they both most wanted was denied them.

The mood in the store was subdued as Arden finished collecting the supplies for Mr. Everdeen to place in his pack.

“How about you pick something else for your present,” the hunter suggested almost as an apology, but Katniss just shook her head.

It appeared to close the topic of conversation, but suddenly Katniss perked up.

“Could Peeta at least walk back as far as Halfway Lake with us?” she inquired giving her father a winning smile, and Peeta fell into line with it and nodded in agreement.

“I can go. No one would miss me,” he assured everyone. He noticed that the others looked at him strangely. It was intended to simply be a statement of fact that he thought would add to his argument.

“Please, Papa,” Katniss pleaded.

Her father looked at Arden, who shrugged his shoulders, “Don’t ask me, the kid’s right. He pretty much does whatever he wants around here. Must be nice,” he scoffed, making a face at Peeta and managing to cut the tension.

The hunter let out another deep sigh, but it must have been the look on his daughter’s face that made him relent. He agreed, but insisted in buying some yarn to tie on the trees along the way so Peeta wouldn’t get lost on his return. He promised Arden that he’d send Peeta back long before suppertime. Arden made him promise to do exactly what he was told, and hurry back.

It was a wonderful afternoon, with Katniss pointing out different plants and bushes, some that would bear edible berries in the coming months, as they made their way. When they arrived at what the Everdeens referred to as Halfway Lake, the hunter stopped to take a break.

Peeta knew about this lake, though this was the first time he’d seen it. It had once served as a base of operation for Arden and Mr. McIntyre before they came to town. They used the water from the lake for their distilling, though the remnant of their shack was long gone. It had been logged by the Alexanders who sent in a team to cut some of the more mature trees in the area. Arden and his father had used this contact as a way to introduce Cardinal to their home-brewed whiskey, which made them very popular and eventually wealthy. Except for young saplings at the perimeter of the forest, the edge of the lake was bordered by low grasses and shrubs, free of the shady canopy of the large trees that had dominated their hike.

Katniss pulled Peeta off to the side to show him a patch of strawberry plants in blossom. She knelt down beside the large patch, indicating for him to join her.

She spoke furtively, “When does school finish for you?” She ran her fingers over the petals.

He told her it was the first week of June and she looked at him conspiratorially. “These strawberries will be ripe by then.” Peeta nodded, trying to decipher her meaning. “I bet Agnes would like them if you collected them for her,” she continued, and it dawned on Peeta what she was implying.

He nodded and added, “I could come the first Saturday after class lets out for the summer and pick some for her.”

Katniss smiled in return as silent understanding passed between them.

When her father announced it was time to get moving, she surprised Peeta with a quick hug. After Mr. Everdeen repeated his instructions about walking back with care, he watched them as they disappeared into the woods for home. Katniss waved to him before the trees swallowed them up from view.

As he began to walk the couple of miles back to town, Peeta wondered how he would be able to wait for another month. But in the meantime, he began to make a list of materials in his mind— and he tried to remember what his teachers had taught him. His mind was spilling over with plans as he made his way home.

 

_Katniss_

Katniss emerged from the trees and smiled when she saw Peeta sitting by the lake, waiting for her. Feeling mischievous, she snuck up and startled him by suddenly gripping his shoulders. He jumped and let out a surprised cry. But he relaxed and grinned when he turned to see her laughing. She plopped down at the water’s edge beside him, along with her bow, quiver, a fishing rod, and her hunting bag.

Peeta unpacked the supplies he’d brought with him— some pencils and notebooks to write in, and Arden’s big plant book. But she let out a delighted cheer when he handed her a bag of cheese buns.

“I thought we could have them for lunch,” he said, but she took one out of the bag right then and there and stuffed it in her mouth.

As Peeta gawked at her, she explained she’d also brought some food to share, so there was plenty for later. He apologized that they weren’t fresh. He explained that he had to make them the day before in order to leave early this morning, but she assured him that they were still fine. He believed her when she uttered a contented sigh while chewing.

When she asked if his family had given him any trouble about meeting her, Peeta told her that he hadn’t asked for permission to spend the day in the forest. Mr. McIntyre was away traveling to other towns for business.

"Not that it would have mattered to him anyway," Peeta added.

Katniss thought it was odd how he called his father ‘Mr. McIntyre’. He added that his father had taken his sister Genny with him, which Peeta thought was curious. Billy, now sixteen, was unofficially in charge, but there was no way he was going to ask him, Peeta declared defiantly.

“What’s your family like?” Katniss asked.

“I try to avoid my brothers any way I can,” Peeta said. “But Genny's okay.”

He didn’t mention his father. Peeta’s family was apparently a touchy subject for him. She was curious to learn more, especially about his mother, but if he didn’t want to talk about it, she didn’t want to pry if it made him unhappy. It made her sad for Peeta when she thought about how close she was with her family. She asked if Agnes or Arden knew.

“Agnes thinks the forest is full of dangerous animals and perils, especially for kids our age, so I didn't want to worry her. Besides, she’s not in authority over me,” he explained. As for Arden, Peeta just shrugged and said he had left town too early to tell him about it.

When he asked her if her family knew, Katniss said that she'd told them she was going out to do some hunting or maybe some fishing. Mama didn’t like her going off on her own, and Katniss repeated her parents’ conversation.

_"I’m not comfortable with this, Jack. Katniss is only eight."_

She dropped her voice to a lower octave to mimic her father, _“Laurel, she’s been going out and tending her own traplines for almost a year now. She’s a natural with the bow, better than I was at her age. She knows the forest like the back of her hand, and she’s perfectly capable of dealing with any wild animal.”_

Peeta laughed at her impressions, which made her grin, but Katniss felt genuine pride and gratitude for her father’s defense. Even so, he had taken her aside and given strict instructions, saying to not stay away too long or they’d be worried.

They flipped through the plant book and Katniss tried writing out the names by copying from the original, and after Peeta sounded out the words, they practiced reading the words. But it was frustrating work and Katniss grew weary. After a while, they took a break and ate the rest of the cheese buns and the deer jerky Katniss had brought with her.

Later, Katniss suggested that they do something else. She didn’t want to admit that she found trying to read confusing and disappoint Peeta for all his effort. They picked the wild strawberries along with some mint leaves. As they ate the berries and chewed on the leaves, Peeta praised her on how smart she was with all she knew about living in the woods. He had a way of always making her feel better.

Refreshed and with renewed determination, Katniss returned to her efforts of deciphering the words in the book, and the two remained so engrossed in their work that Katniss was surprised when Peeta observed how it was getting difficult to read in the fading light. It seemed way too early to Katniss to be getting dark so soon, and she worried if they’d simply lost track of time.

Then she noticed that it wasn’t the time of day, but the ominous clouds that hastened the darkness. It was only seconds later that the first large drops began to fall. As they hurried over to the shelter of a large maple tree on the edge of the clearing, she scolded herself for not paying closer attention to the weather and conditions around her, the way her father had drilled into her as long as she could remember.

“Maybe it’ll pass soon,” Peeta offered hopefully.

She could tell by the wind starting to pick up that this was not going to be a quick shower, but a real storm. But not wanting to worry him until she had a plan, she answered, “Maybe. Let’s just see how bad it gets.”

The first flash of lightening made them startle, and the accompanying boom of thunder informed her that they needed to get home, even though it was going to be a wet journey. But she was worried about Peeta. He wasn’t very familiar with the route back to Cardinal and the rain and mud could be disorienting. Finally she came to a decision.

“You should come home with me tonight. It’s almost as close and I know the way better.”

Peeta hesitated, and she figured he was concerned about what his family might do if he failed to return overnight, so she reassured him, “Tomorrow Papa can bring you back and explain what happened.”

He simply answered, “I doubt anyone will even notice.” The thought made her heart hurt for him.

“We’re going to get wet, and it’s windy, but we’ll be okay,“ she said encouragingly as she touched his arm. They placed the plant book and other supplies in her hunting bag, which was more waterproof than his pack, gathered the rest of their food, and set off into what was becoming a torrential downpour.

As they slogged on, Katniss began to grow concerned. It had grown so dark and the lightening was close. Each boom of thunder seemed to resonate through her whole body. They both began to shiver due to the sudden drop in temperature, but they pressed on. They had to retrace their steps when the stream crossing she had used coming there turned out to be too flooded. The large stepping stones were now fully submerged by the strong current. Katniss knew of a narrow spot upstream with a log that served as a bridge, but the detour was going to take more time.

After two more hours they were back on the right path on the opposite side of the stream when out of the gloom she heard Papa’s voice singing in the distance, and her heart swelled with relief.

“Papa, we’re here!” she cried, and she ran into his arms when he came into view. After his initial relief at seeing her, she noticed his questioning gaze fall on Peeta, but before he could say anything she blurted out, “I couldn’t leave Peeta at the lake, so I decided to bring him back with me.”

“That’s smart thinking, Little Duck,” he said as he patted her wet hair. “Let’s get both of you back to the house and dried up.”

Katniss glanced over at Peeta and gave him an encouraging smile. She could see the look of relief on his face, too, even though his lips looked blue from the chill.

 

_Peeta_

When they finally arrived at the Everdeen’s cabin, both he and Katniss were shivering and thoroughly drenched. Mrs. Everdeen ordered them out of their wet clothes and handed Peeta a warm blanket to wrap himself in. When he hesitated, looking around for a room in which to change, she nodded over to a curtain that hung near the back of the cabin. He could hear whispering in the main room and suspected it had to do with him. He could hear Katniss’s voice, no doubt trying to explain his presence. When he rejoined the Everdeens, Katniss’s mother hung their sets of clothes by the wood stove to dry. Nothing more was said about how he had come to be in the company of his friend.

It was such a small house, he observed. One room really, with the curtain in the back corner serving as the divider for Mr. and Mrs. Everdeen’s bedroom. The rest of the space was comprised of a table and chairs, some shelves with supplies, and a cupboard that contained linens and clothing. The wood-burning stove was located on the center of one wall. A large sack that looked like a mattress was propped up beside it. There were open rafters up above, with large beams spanning the width of the cabin, and two windows, but instead of glass they contained what appeared to be oiled paper.

After a hearty supper of venison stew and hot tea, he was able to redress in his now dried clothing. When he stepped back from behind the curtain, Mr. Everdeen opened the cupboard and took out a fiddle.

Katniss and her little brother, Logan, clapped in delight. “Yes! Play something, Papa!” they shouted.

They called out the names of songs they wanted, and the thunder and lightening seemed to retreat from notice. The damp chill was forgotten with the light of the oil lamps, the warmth of the wood stove, and the happy, raucous sounds of the fiddle, accompanied by Mr. Everdeen’s voice. Katniss grabbed her brother’s hands and started to dance around as their father stomped out a beat. Mrs. Everdeen unexpectedly held out her hand to Peeta to join her. At first he was embarrassed because he didn’t know how to dance, but when he saw the madcap spinning and twirling by the other two kids, he relaxed and let the music lead him as Katniss’s mother swung him around.

Soon Logan latched on to his mother and she twirled him under her arm like a spinning top. Katniss held out her hand and he took it nervously. She started to laugh and skip in a circle and once again all his nerves were forgotten. At the end of the third song they collapsed onto the fur rug that covered the floor, dizzy and breathless.

“What songs do you know, Peeta?” Mrs. Everdeen asked.

“Yes! Sing us a song you know!” Katniss exclaimed, her eyes wide with anticipation.

Desperate to not disappoint her, but feeling incredibly self-conscious, he searched his mind for a lively, entertaining song to match the funny tunes Mr. Everdeen had played. But the only one that came to his mind was the lullaby his mother had sang to him. He wasn’t sure of the official name.

He started out almost at a whisper, _“Deep in the meadow, under the willow…”_

As he sang the first stanza, Mr. Everdeen picked up on the melody and started to play. Only this time, the music was comprised of dulcet tones. Peeta was almost distracted from the lyrics by the beauty of the music that came from the fiddle.

He finished the final verse and Logan yelled, “Again!”

Only this time they all joined in with the words, missing a few lines, but mostly keeping up with him. It made him sing more boldly with their accompanying voices. By the time he reached the final lines—

 _“Here it’s safe, Here it’s warm,_  
_Here the daisies guard you from every harm,_  
_Here your dreams are sweet and tomorrow brings them true,_  
_Here is the place where I love you”_

—he felt an enveloping sense of warmth spread through him that had nothing to do with the fire and the shelter from the storm.

 _‘This is what a real family feels like,’_ he thought, and for the briefest moment he felt a familiar sadness welling up. But it was quickly banished when Mr. Everdeen placed a calloused hand on his shoulder and told him that for tonight he was officially an Everdeen. And the sound of Katniss’s giggle sealed the deal.

Later that night, as he lay on the floor on the lumpy pallet mattress that gave off the scent of green tea and pine needles, nestled between Logan and Katniss under a woolen blanket, he reflected on the most amazing day of his life. He watched the flickering of the fire visible through the grate of the stove. He could hear Mr. Everdeen already snoring, and he could tell by the breathing of the two children beside him that they were asleep, too. He lay very still, scared to move in case he woke them.

He’d never shared a room with anyone before, let alone a bed. He could only remember one time when his mother had allowed him into her and Mr. McIntyre’s bed, after he’d had a nightmare when he was very young. He had touched her shoulder to awaken her, still shaking from the scary dream. She had held her finger to her lips to indicate for him to be very quiet, and then lifted the blanket and wrapped her arms around him when he crawled in. It was one of the most wonderful memories he could remember up until today. He had awakened the next morning back in his own bed, and his stuffed bear had joined him a couple of nights later.

He could feel the loose hairs from Katniss’s braids tickling his face as her back was turned to him. It reminded him of his bear and he was tempted to reach up and pet them to see if it felt the same. As he ran his fingers down the length of one braid, she stirred, and he felt bad for disturbing her sleep. She just yawned though, and rolled over on her back and her breathing returned to a steady rhythm. But not before she reached down to take hold of his hand. And, with his hand in hers, he fell into a restful sleep with the rest of the Everdeens.


	6. The Sins of the Father

**Chapter Five - The Sins of the Father**

_Katniss_

Katniss awoke early. She rolled over and yawned. Peeta and Logan were still sleeping, but she could hear Papa chopping wood outside and discovered that Mama wasn’t in the house either. She slipped out from under the blankets and into her boots, and headed to the outhouse. The sun was up and already warm even at this early hour, and, after all the rain, the air smelled earthy and fresh. It was promising to be a beautiful summer day following the storm.

As she was returning to the house, she could hear her parents’ voices out back by the wood pile. Drawn by her mother’s tense whispers, she crept up to the corner of the building, curious what they could be discussing.

“You didn’t think it was important to tell me who his father is? Katniss always described him as the boy who helps Arden. When she said he lived in a big house, I had no idea it was William McIntyre’s. And how come you never bothered to let me know?”

Mama was upset. She was clearly talking about Peeta and it made Katniss uneasy.

“I’ve interacted with the boy many times over the past three years, and he’s a nice lad from what I’ve seen. You saw for yourself last night. And you know how fond Katniss is of him,” Papa placated. “Arden thinks the world of him, too. He was close to the boy’s mother and has a high regard for the father. He considers McIntyre to be a friend."

“Of course he does, Jack, they have lots of history together,” her mother retorted. “But you and I both know William McIntyre isn’t a saint.” Mama paused before adding, “And have you forgotten what the Alexanders did to my family?”

Katniss’s parents rarely talked about the fire that had driven Mama’s family from Shelter Lake. She knew it was the people from the town who were responsible, but it hadn’t occurred to her that Peeta’s family might have something to do with it, since it had happened so long ago. And besides, it was unfair for Mama to blame her friend for something he had no part in. Katniss could feel anxiety creeping up and gripping her chest.

“I know, Laurel, but he isn’t an Alexander, and neither is Peeta. Plus, it wasn’t William McIntyre who burned your family out. That was his father-in-law, before McIntyre came to town,” Papa countered to Katniss’s relief.

“Why are you defending this man? How often have you told Katniss and Logan to be careful around the town people?”

“I don’t completely trust them, but so far, under McIntyre’s leadership, we’ve been left alone. As long as our presence is respected, they continue to allow us to trade, and we stay watchful…”

“You know it’s not just the town’s tolerance of us that I’m talking about,” Mama interrupted.

“Look, I’ve grown to trust Arden, he’s always been honest and fair with me on trades. And he trusts McIntyre,” Papa replied.

“I’m not sure,” Mama shook her head. “It’s not like Arden is exactly unbiased where William McIntyre is concerned. Or about his son either, I expect, given his connection with the boy’s mother,” Mama hedged. “Besides, if Arden had such a soft spot for Marigold Miller, how could he sit back and watch her forced to become his friend’s… what was she? Mistress? Concubine?”

Katniss wasn’t certain what that meant, but she knew it wasn’t good. She wondered if it explained why Peeta felt the way he did about his family. And how it maybe had something to do with why he called his father ‘Mr. McIntyre.’

“Arden never said she was forced,” Papa answered quietly.

“Maybe that’s true, but what kind of man has his mistress and illegitimate child living under the same roof as his invalid wife and family? And what kind of woman would accept that life for herself and her son?”

Mama paused, and then seemed to come to a resolution. “I feel bad for the boy that his mother died at such a young age, and that he was born into this situation. But what are things going to be like when he gets older? Is a boy who’s grown up with that kind of example really a suitable influence for our daughter? Convincing her to sneak away to see him behind our backs...”

Katniss became livid. Why was Mama talking about Peeta like this?

“I know what you’re saying. But they’re just kids,” her father said and shrugged his shoulders. “It’s meant so much to her to have a friend.”

“Maybe we should have tried harder to live closer to other families so she and Logan could spend time with more kids their age,” Mama said. “I just can’t help but fear this is only going to end up hurting Katniss.” Papa sighed in response.

Katniss couldn’t stand it any longer. She rushed forward to confront her parents. “Peeta’s my friend! He’d never hurt me! He just wanted to teach me to read, Mama. It was a birthday gift.” She turned to face Papa, “It wasn’t Peeta’s fault, it was my idea to meet up at the lake!”

Papa placed his hand on her shoulder and guided her to sit beside him. “I know. But your mother isn’t entirely wrong. You have to understand that Peeta’s life and yours just aren’t the same. Not to mention that the two of you meeting up without telling us wasn’t wise, Katniss.”

She knew he was serious because he called her by her name.

“You said he was one of us, last night,” Katniss persisted.

“It’s not Peeta. It’s where he’s from, who his family is,” Mama explained. Her mother ran her hand over her cheek, “We live in such different ways. It’s just hard for you to see it because he’s your only friend. One day when you’re both older, things won’t be the same. His life is going to change. Then he’ll change and so will you.”

Katniss recoiled from her mother’s touch, wondering what she was talking about. “No I won’t! And it’s not Peeta’s fault that he lives in Cardinal or who his family is!”

Her mother answered, “It might be best if you didn’t spend so much time together. Maybe if we helped you to make other friends with people more like us…”

She saw her parents’ eyes fix on something behind her and she turned to see Peeta watching them, his face like stone. He’d heard them talking. How much, she wasn’t certain, but he said nothing. He simply turned and walked back to the house.

Later that morning, Katniss insisted on joining her father and Peeta on the return to Cardinal. It upset her to see her friend so quiet, and she was embarrassed and hurt for him for hearing her parents’ words. Papa was quiet, too, as they walked the familiar route to Halfway Lake.

It worried her to think what Papa might say to Peeta’s father when they got there. Would Peeta get in trouble? Or would his father not even care, just like Peeta had said? Maybe Mr. McIntyre wasn’t home yet. But then there was Arden. How would he respond? The guilt for being the one who had gotten Peeta into this predicament weighed on her.

As they approached the lake, the distant barking of dogs reached them through the trees. It was joined by men’s voices calling to each other. Her father tensed, brought his bow from over his shoulder, and reached for an arrow. She had not brought her own bow, otherwise she would have instinctively followed his example. Papa pushed her and Peeta behind him as four men entered from the opposite side of the clearing. Two she did not know, but the other pair she recognized— Arden and Mr. McIntyre. They were all armed. Two dogs, straining against their leads, were aggressively barking at them.

The look on Mr. McIntyre’s face as he stared at her father scared Katniss. Thankfully, Arden broke the standoff when he stepped forward and raised his arm.

“Hold up. Looks like we found what we’re looking for,” Arden called out, signalling to the two men to hold back the dogs.

Peeta stepped around Papa, approached one of the dogs, and called it by name. Both dogs stopped barking and the one closest to him began to wag its tail. The other one approached, too, whining and attempting to lick his face. He patted them both on their heads. Papa relaxed the tension on his bow and replaced the arrow in his quiver. Mr. McIntyre lowered his rifle.

They were all startled when Mr. McIntyre turned to glare at Peeta and with a booming voice yelled, “Where the hell have you been?!” Peeta turned pale and remained speechless. “Do you have any idea what a disruption you’ve caused?” his father continued. “How much worry you gave everyone?” He was red in the face and highly agitated.

Arden grabbed Mr. McIntyre’s arm. “It’s okay, no harm done, he’s fine. He was safe with the Everdeens.”

Katniss was shaken by the way his father appeared so angry, and she was afraid for her friend. It seemed apparent that Peeta felt the same way, because he ran to Arden instead of his father and hugged him, apologizing for worrying them.

“Why don’t you send these two to call off the other searchers,” Arden suggested calmly, his eyes locked on Mr. McIntyre’s. Peeta’s father took a deep breath and, after a few seconds, slowly released it. He turned away from them and, with a wave of his hand, dismissed his men.

With everyone now at ease, Katniss studied William McIntyre with curiosity. It was the first time she had seen the man up close. He watched his son soberly, while Arden was comforting Peeta. His face was no longer flushed and his expression was now composed, even if his posture remained tense.

Arden knelt down and gripped Peeta by the shoulders. “When Agnes realized you didn’t show up for supper, she was frantic. She came and got me, we searched around town and the mine, but by that time the storm had hit and it was already getting dark.” He continued, “When your father arrived home this morning, we were just heading out to search the forest. Then I remembered that time you came here with the Everdeens.” He paused, his voice more gruff than comforting now, “You gave us a big scare, heading out here and not telling anyone. What were you thinking?”

“I just wanted to see Katniss,” Peeta insisted. “I went home with her because of the storm.”

Arden’s expression softened. “That was a good idea,” he said to her friend, but she noticed that he glanced up at Mr. McIntyre as he added, “You were right to trust them.”

Katniss studied Peeta’s father as he reacted to Arden’s reassurances. And it dawned on Katniss that she had misread him. She recalled hunting with Papa just last fall when they had encountered a feral dog. It had snarled and bared it’s teeth, but it had stopped short of attacking them. Her father had pointed to the den behind it, and she could just make out the plaintive whimpers of its young. They had slowly withdrawn from the animal. She later asked Papa why she was so angry at them, since they had no intention of killing her or threatening her babies.

“Not anger, Little Duck. Fear,” he'd said.

That’s what she had seen on Mr. McIntyre's face when they emerged from the trees. He had been frightened for his son.

And she realized that maybe Peeta was wrong about his father.

 

_Peeta_

His father finally spoke up and said to him, in a calm but stern voice, “Don’t ever do something like this again, you hear me? You always let someone know where you’re going, and who else is going to be with you. And never this far into the woods. Is that clear?”

But all Peeta could hear were the echoes of accusations he’d endured over the years, gnawing inside of his head— his brothers’ cruel derogatory comments, Mrs. McIntyre’s looks of contempt, his teacher’s awkward uncertainty over his name, the whispers behind hands at school and elsewhere in town. And now he even had the Everdeens’ words to add to the list.

“Why do you even care?!” he yelled at his father. “I’m not even a real McIntyre. Even they…” he nodded his head towards Katniss and her father, “…don’t want me around anymore. All because of your stupid family. This is all your fault!”

With tears streaming down his face he broke free of Arden’s grasp and ran from the clearing, heading back to town.

“Peat!” he could hear his father’s voice calling after him.

“It’s Peeta!” he screamed back before the trees enveloped him.

He ran all the way back to Cardinal, occasionally stumbling as his feet become bogged down in the mud left over from the previous night’s rain. When he finally made it to town, he immediately went to the General Store and slammed Arden’s plant book down on the counter and turned on his heel for the door.

“Hey!” he heard Beth call after him as he rushed down the steps and headed for home. As he entered by the kitchen door, Agnes let out a cry of relief, but before she could say anything more or ask any questions, he was out of the kitchen and rushing down the hall.

“Your shoes!” Mabel shrieked.

He kicked them from his feet with such force they bounced off the wall, leaving muddy splotches on the wainscotting to join the trail of foot prints on the hardwood floor. He ignored her grumbling as he turned the corner to climb the stairs, ran down the hall to his room, and slammed the door with force.

Peeta stood for a few moments catching his breath, wiping away the remnant of tears that were finally running dry. His eyes fell on his bear sitting on top of his bed. Its shiny eyes looked back at him from within its dark fur. Focused by a new resolve, he opened the drawer that held the two anthracite pieces and carving tools. A small collection of wooden chess pieces accompanied them in the drawer, but he ignored them. He grabbed the largest piece of hard coal and one of the tools, and sat down on his bed.

In that moment he was clear about one thing. Katniss didn’t judge him. She defended him. Even Arden took his father’s side, he told himself. She was the only one left. He studied the rock, imploring it to show it’s hidden form, determined to make this into a token to give to his friend to let her know once and for all how important she was to him.

In frustration, he starting digging into the surface, still feeling raw from his anger and humiliation, and with one aggressive stroke it shattered into multiple fragments, crumbling from his hand onto the floor. Defeated, he hurled the tool across the room, thinking desperately of somewhere to escape. He left his room and quietly descended the stairs to see Mabel on her hands and knees cleaning the muddy floor down the hall. He slipped past without her seeing him, grabbed his shoes that now sat neatly in the foyer, and exited by the front door to avoid Agnes and her smothering questions.

Minutes later he found himself sitting beside his mother’s grave, as the tears threatened to resume. With one word playing over and over in his mind.

 _Why? Why did you have me? Why did it have to be with him?_ And finally—  _Why did you have to die?_

It wasn’t long before he saw Arden and his father emerge from the trees nearby. The two men stopped when they saw him and exchanged a few words. Then Arden patted his father’s shoulder, nodding toward town. The store manager approached Peeta and, grimacing at his stiff limbs, sat down on the ground beside him. The man placed his hand on Peeta’s arm.

“Well, you sure gave us all some excitement,” he said gently, and with just the slightest hint of humor added, “Hard to imagine how one small kid could cause such a big ruckus.”

Peeta wasn’t going to have any of it and looked back at the man with a sneer. “The only important thing to Mr. McIntyre is this stupid town and the stupid mines. He’s just angry that I made them all stop to look for me. He never cared about me… or her.” He could see Arden’s brow furrow, but continued undaunted, “He just let her die, and it didn’t even matter to him.”

He was shocked when Arden roughly grabbed him by his shoulders with uncharacteristic anger on his face. “You don’t know the first thing about it!“ he hissed. “You have no idea what he’s gone through, from when he was even younger than you, and you should be damn grateful for that!”

Peeta was stunned by Arden’s intensity, but the man’s vexation quickly abated and his grip relaxed. “I’m sorry, but I just can’t have you talk about your father like that.” He pulled Peeta into a hug, apologizing again. A moment later, Arden pulled away and quirked his eyebrow at him.

“And what’s with this ‘Mr. McIntyre’ business, anyway? ‘Yes sir, no sir’ is one thing, but he is your father.”

Peeta was taken aback by the question. He thought about it for a second and realized it probably had first come from the brothers insisting he wasn’t one of them. Plus, his interaction with his father had been so infrequent that the issue rarely came up. But the truth was, he realized, that he simply never had felt entitled to use the name ‘Father’.

“No one ever corrected me,” he said in his defence.

Arden replied, “Your father always wanted to give you the choice to accept him. He never would force himself on you… or your mother,“ he added bringing his face close to Peeta. He sighed, placed an arm around his shoulder before adding, “He’s a complicated man, and not the easiest to get close to. And you don’t know nothing about things when it comes to your parents, what they meant to each other,” he declared with particular emphasis.

Peeta looked up at Arden, confused by what he'd said. It was hard to reconcile the idea with what he'd seen and thought he knew.

Arden dropped his gaze onto the yellow and orange flowers, and whispered solemnly, “I miss her, too,” almost to himself. “And so does he, even if he isn’t any good at showing it.” He reached out to touch one of the marigold blooms. “Who do you think planted these?” he added wistfully.

Peeta looked at Arden incredulously. “I thought you did.”

Arden shook his head, his eyes rising from the flowers to glance sideways at Peeta.

“You know, maybe if you feel others have misjudged you, you might remember that you could be doing it, too. But promise me you’ll keep an open mind, especially with your father, and try not to judge him too harshly. Do you think you can do that?”

Peeta looked down at the marigolds and considered it before nodding.

“That’s my boy,” Arden said as he gave his arm a final squeeze. He moved to stand up, mumbling quietly to himself about his aching joints. “Well, it’d be best to get you back to the house before they send out another search party looking for you. You’ve given everyone quite enough anxiety for one day.”

Peeta followed him and got to his feet.

As they turned to head back to town, Arden spoke up again. “By the way, if you’d bothered to stick around a bit longer instead of running off in a huff, you would have heard your father and Mr. Everdeen have a nice little chat about you and Katniss and your plan to teach her to read.”

Peeta’s eyes grew wide with surprise and anticipation. Arden held up his hands in a cautionary gesture. “Now don’t go getting all excited just yet. Mr. Everdeen still needs to talk it over with Katniss’s mother, but who knows? Your little friend might get her birthday gift yet.”

Peeta wiped his eyes and nose on his sleeve, feeling a resurgence of some hope. Arden ruffled his hair affectionately and added, “So don’t you go thinking William McIntyre doesn’t care.” Then he added with a snort, “I swear, the things you get away with around here…”

As they walked, he quietly pondered Arden’s revelations. It made him stop and think back, remembering the time when his father had showed him how to carve the anthracite. He realized that maybe he needed to reconsider things.

And he allowed himself to smile at the possibility that maybe everything would work out and be okay with Katniss after all.

When he entered the house, he was relieved that Agnes wasn’t in the kitchen. He was too tired and deep in thought to deal with her today. The house was quiet, but, as he passed the study, he could see his father sitting in his arm chair looking out the window. When Peeta stood in the door way, Mr. McIntyre turned and indicated for him to come in.

His father didn’t speak for a stretch, but just stared at him, as if searching to find what he wanted to say. Just as it was starting to feel awkward, he told Peeta that Agnes had set out a lunch for him in the kitchen, since he must be hungry after such a busy morning.

Peeta waited to see if there was anything more, but when his father remained silent, he nodded and turned to leave. When he reached the door, he thought about what Arden had said. He turned back to face the man sitting stoically in the large chair.

“Thank you for talking to Mr. Everdeen about helping my friend…” and after a moment of deliberation, he added, “Father.”

He watched his father’s reaction to being addressed by the name that Arden claimed he preferred. Peeta thought he detected just the hint of some emotion behind the mask of formality.

“You’re welcome,” his father replied, but then added softly, “Peeta.”


	7. Building Bridges

**Chapter Six - Building Bridges**

_Peeta_

Peeta stood at the entrance to Billy’s room watching their maid, Mabel, help pack a trunk with his brother’s things as he prepared for his move to the Capitol. At the beginning of July, Father had announced that his oldest brother, now sixteen, had been accepted at one of the prestigious private schools there. Billy had taken the news stoically, but Peeta wondered what it must feel like for him to be leaving home for the first time and face living so far from everything familiar.

Now that August had arrived, Billy and their father would be taking the next train west to the Capitol. He’d heard Father’s stern lecture over dinner about how much this was costing the family and that he expected not only excellent grades but that Billy would use this opportunity to best advantage. Peeta wasn’t exactly sure what that meant.

With Arden’s words on his mind about trying not to judge others, a small part of Peeta felt bad for Billy, but the difficult history he shared with his brother made it a challenge.

“What are you looking at?” Billy snarled at him when he glanced up from the pile of clothing that Mabel had just set in the trunk.

Any thoughts of sympathy were quickly extinguished. Peeta searched for at least a polite response.

“I just wanted to say… I hope you like it in the Capitol,” he stammered. It was mostly sincere, though he kept the fact that he wouldn’t miss his brother to himself.

“Anything is better than this shit-hole,” Billy muttered.

“Your language!” Mabel scolded and Billy just sneered.

Mabel may be aghast at his brother’s choice of vocabulary, but Peeta was taken aback by the implication. Cardinal was their home. Speechless, he turned to head back to his room. As he passed Genny’s open door, she looked up from her novel and rolled her eyes. Apparently, she'd overheard Billy’s comments. She set the book down and waved Peeta into her room.

“Don’t mind him,” she said in a low voice. “He’s just a bit put out that he doesn’t have a say in this. I think part of him is actually glad to be leaving, but it’s a lot of pressure. Father has high expectations for him in the Capitol.”

“What do you think he’s supposed to do?”

“It was Mother’s wish that Billy be trained to run Cardinal one day, and Father thinks this is the best way to prepare him for that. If he gets to know people from influential families in the Capitol, then he can be a good representative for us.”

Peeta thought about how Genny sometimes accompanied their father on his trips around Panem.

“What about you?” he asked.

“Father expects me to be his ambassador, too. But in a different way,” she added cryptically with the faintest hint of a knowing smile.

Peeta had difficulty thinking of Billy as much of an ambassador, and he said as much. “He doesn’t make friends very well, not like you.”

Genny’s expression turned serious. “That’s because he thinks most people here are beneath him. But he’s capable of being charming, if he wants.”

Peeta was skeptical about that.

“Will Father send you to the Capitol, too?” he asked. While his sister was a bit of a mystery, he realized he would miss her if she left.

“No, my responsibilities aren’t going to require it.”

“What about Russ?” he added hesitantly. When it came to Russell, Peeta couldn’t deny that he was hopeful that he might be sent away.

Genny snorted, “Russell is no diplomat, though he’s only thirteen so maybe there’s a chance he will improve.” Peeta highly doubted it. “He has too much of the Alexander temperament,” Genny continued. “The rest of us at least inherited Father’s skill.”

Peeta found this curious. His father diplomatic? He seemed so distant and unreadable most of the time. Everyone in town did whatever Father directed, without question, except for maybe Arden. But beyond Cardinal’s reach, he wondered about his Father’s persuasive talents. For Katniss’s sake, he hoped it was true, when he remembered the proposition to help his friend learn to read.

He left Genny to her novel, and thoughts of Katniss banished all consideration of Billy and his departure. He hadn’t seen her or her father since that day he’d come home after the storm, so there had been no new developments. After almost two months, doubts began to fester in his mind, and he worried that maybe nothing was going to come of Father’s discussion with Mr. Everdeen.

Over the summer, he’d tried to stay busy. One accomplishment was completing the chess set, which he'd decided to give it to Arden.

“Well I guess this means you expect me to teach you to play now,” the store manager had grumbled as a ‘thank you.' But Peeta knew it meant a lot to him by the way he smiled when examining the set. He’d also spent time with a few classmates from town, but it wasn’t the same. He missed his friend from the woods.

One week after school resumed, Peeta began to suspect that it was likely a lost cause. He still looked forward to the Everdeens returning to town, but as time passed he began to fear that even that small contact had come to an end. They had never stayed away this long. He wondered if Katniss missed him, too, and worried that maybe she didn’t.

On the second Saturday evening in September, feeling bored, he helped Agnes make some sugar cookies for Sunday tea. She’d allowed him to decorate a few for fun. When they were done he decided to walk over to the General Store to see what Arden was up to. He carried a plate with a half dozen of the cookies, wrapped in a tea towel. He figured if anyone would have a clue about the Everdeens, it would be him.

Beth was closing up for the night, but she let him in and nodded to the rear of the store. “Arden and Mr. McIntyre are back there if you’re looking for them.”

When Peeta reached the door to the back room he saw the two men sitting at the small table with a bottle of Arden’s whiskey between them. They were leaning over his chess set, so fully involved in the game that they did not see him.

“…And don’t tell me you aren’t choked about getting the number Twelve,” Arden chortled. “You’ve never been one to accept being on the bottom of the pile.”

“Actually, that would be Thirteen, but I’ll take your point… and your rook,” his father answered with a smirk as he took one of Arden’s pieces.

Peeta could tell by the jovial tone of their voices that they were both in a good mood— the amber liquor in their glasses a likely contributor.

“Unlucky Thirteen?” Arden joked.

“Hardly. The last time I was in the district they were very busy unloading large shipments into newly constructed warehouses. They claimed that they were merely providing storage on behalf of the Capitol, though the way it was being guarded, they weren't being exactly subtle.”

Arden raised his eyebrows, “Any ideas?”

“Apparently it’s classified, but I did learn that they are stockpiling critical items for security reasons.”

When Arden gave him a questioning look, he explained, “When I mentioned that Eugenia wished to resupply our school with their pencils, my host volunteered his son to act as her tour guide while we conducted business. A very predictable courtesy that I am quite happy to exploit,” Father smirked. “People will open up to a winsome fifteen-year-old, and reveal things that they’d never tell me,” he stated.

Peeta was curious about any discussion of places beyond Cardinal, especially in light of Genny’s comments, so he hung back in the shadows and listened quietly, not wishing to interrupt.

“So this is why you take Genny with you,” Arden declared.

“Am I that obvious?” Father asked with a quirked eyebrow.

“Probably only to me, so I wouldn’t worry. No one does a stone face like you.”

Father huffed in response, “Perhaps we should be playing poker, not chess.”

“Well, they seem very cozy with the Capitol from the sounds of it,” Arden added.

“Maybe, but they seemed quite interested in discussing our underground excavation techniques and the machinery we commissioned, as well.” Arden raised his eyebrows and Father shrugged and took a drink before continuing, “I know, it’s curious to be sure. Their graphite mining doesn’t resemble what we do here. They claimed to have similar talks with District 2. They made it seem like polite conversation, but there’s more going on, I can feel it. Possibly to do with these mysterious shipments, but I also sense they were feeling us out somehow,” he said, ruminating until Arden raised his glass.

“Well, here’s to your pretty little spy and all the insight she can provide, not to mention the political pawn of a son that you delivered to the Capitol last month,” the shop manager toasted, a hint of sarcasm evident in his voice.

“You think it’s wrong for me to use my children this way.” It was more of an accusation than a question. When Arden didn’t respond, Father added, “You know it was their mother’s desire that they be groomed to take over administrating this town one day. Cardinal’s continuing success was her priority. Understanding what’s going on beyond our borders is critical to that.”

Arden held his hands up in mock surrender. He moved a pawn of his own and then inquired, “And what about your youngest son? What promises did you make to his mother?”

Father’s shoulders stiffened at hearing Arden’s question. “Are you insinuating something?” he fired back.

Arden ran his hand over his face and shook his head. “Just trying to remind you that you have another child who needs more than just…”

At hearing the conversation turn to him, Peeta shifted his footing, causing the floorboards to creak and both men turned to face him.

“Peat…I mean Peeta, we were just talking about you. Come over here, my boy,” Arden said heartily in his boozy voice.

Peeta approached and Father held up one of his knights and examined it. “Arden says this is your work.”

Peeta replied in affirmation, and his father nodded in approval. “Not bad for a first attempt,” he said as he moved the knight across the board.

“Not as good as yours,” Peeta whispered.

“Nonsense,” Arden snorted. “No one is excellent at first try. This is wonderful for your age. Given a few years and more practice you could sell them. So how about it?”

His father looked at Peeta curiously, “Is that something you would like to do? Become our town’s newest woodworker?”

Peeta shrugged. It was hard to imagine it as a job, when he liked other things like painting and drawing just as much. Or even baking. It made him think of Katniss and the cheese buns. And then he remembered the plate in his hands and placed it on the table and unwrapped the cookies.

“Wow, now look at that! Maybe a baker then,” Arden announced, admiring the design on one of them. “If these taste half as good as they look, you could provide the store with baked goods. Contribute to my profitability, considering the basic stuff we sell here.” He winked at Peeta.

“Now who’s taking advantage of the children?” Father joked.

Arden actually chuckled. The tension that had settled in the air between the two men appeared to have dissipated.

“Watch and learn,” Arden boasted to him, as he finally captured his opponent's queen.

Father leaned back in his chair and took another sip from his glass. “I hear you’re losing Beth next month,” he said.

“Yup, she’s marrying that Thompson boy.” Arden confirmed.

“So I guess that means you’ll be on the lookout for another stray to rescue,” he teased.

Arden scowled at him and, with a grunt, fired back, “Well you should know, being how you were the most pathetic mongrel I ever saved.”

His father’s face settled into a genial smile. It softened his expression and filled it with a warmth that surprised Peeta. It was as if someone unfamiliar was sitting in front of him.

“Yes, I guess you’re right about that,” Father replied quietly.

“I don’t like what’s going on at the tavern,” Arden continued with a frown. “Vernon lures the young, pretty ones with promises of good wages for bartending— ‘Miner’s credits without having to go into the mines,’ he says, but you and I both know there’s more to it,” Arden grumbled.

“Are you suggesting that I shut him down?” Father asked about the tavern’s owner.

Arden sighed. “No, it would just drive it underground. This way Sam and his deputies can keep an eye on them, offer some recourse for the girls if things get rough.

Sam Jeffries was Cardinal’s Town Marshal. He and his deputies helped settle squabbles, protect town property, and generally kept things peaceful in town. The small brick building that served as their office housed four cells that most often held surly drunks.

“Besides, where else would I sell my liquor in such quantity?” Arden admitted with a hint of cynicism. “Most of the wives won’t tolerate the drinking at home.”

Father held up his glass and added, “Not to mention, Vernon would be hard-pressed to find anyone capable of duplicating the quality.”

Arden grinned and tipped his own glass in his father’s direction, and, with a smirk said, “Yeah, I can’t imagine what kind of blinding, bootleg poison he’d be selling.” After taking a sip, he continued, “What’s really needed is some more opportunities, especially for the girls, so they have options.”

“That’s why I opened the school,” Father answered.

“Yes, but without jobs, what’s their choice? Marriage for security, whatever menial labor they can get, or the mines.”

His father gave Arden a hard stare. “If it wasn’t for the mines, there’d be no life here for anyone,” Father retorted.

“Yeah, yeah, I know. I just wish there was something more… hopeful. And certainly not the last resort that Vernon’s offering.”

“Nobody is forcing anyone to do anything they don’t want,” his father uttered. “My responsibility is to the economic strength of Cardinal, first and foremost. So I’ll keep focusing on whatever is best for this town,” Father said brusquely, “and I’ll leave the saving of the lost and vulnerable in your capable hands.”

Arden sighed again. “Yes, we wouldn’t want people to suspect you give a damn,” he grumbled under his breath.

An uncomfortable silence fell over them for a moment, then Arden looked up from his glass and said, “What about the hunter’s daughter? What’s that got to do with the economic well-being of Cardinal?” He sat back with a smug expression.

Peeta perked up at the mention of Katniss. He saw his father’s scowl disappear. He looked at the man, anxious to hear what he might have to say.

“Oh yes, the little Everdeen girl. Seems my offer of an exchange for her education in Cardinal is still up in the air,” Father replied.

“But the school principal is agreeable to the terms,” Arden confirmed.

“Yes, ever since her husband died, she’s been open to any extra source of income. All that is left is a decision from the girl’s parents. I suspect that the mother needs convincing.”

Peeta felt his heart sink at this, recalling what Mrs. Everdeen had said.

“I take it they haven’t been around?” Father asked Arden.

“No.” He shook his head. “But Jack is overdue, I’m expecting him any day.”

“Well then,” Father said, turning to Peeta, “I guess we’ll get an answer to my proposition soon enough.”

Arden patted Peeta’s arm and added, “I have a good rapport with Jack Everdeen. I know he’ll be persuasive with his wife, if the girl truly wants to learn to read.”

Peeta was encouraged by the men’s remarks, and he began to process the possibilities— Katniss here in Cardinal, at school with him. He could see her everyday. It could actually happen. He couldn’t repress a smile.

 

_Katniss_

Katniss could barely contain the butterflies in her stomach as they ate their lunch beside Halfway Lake. Mama said they should get moving and began to stand up.

Papa reached over and placed his hand on her arm. “Are you sure you don’t want to rest a little longer?” he asked gently.

“Honestly, Jack, I’m not a fragile flower. And we have a lot to get done today if we expect to be home before dark.”

When Papa looked hurt by her brush off, she gave him a sweet smile and held out her hand for him to help her up. When she was on her feet she leaned into him and gave him a kiss, assuring Papa that she was in fact well-rested.

The late September days were indeed getting shorter, but Katniss’s eagerness was motivated by her anticipation of what lay ahead in Cardinal. She helped Logan with his pack and the family set off for the remaining couple of miles to town.

When they arrived in Cardinal, Mama’s face grew concerned. She had never visited the town before, and Katniss could see that she was bothered by the coal dust that covered not only her shoes but every visible surface around them. All the noise and the number of people disturbed her, too, just as it had done to Katniss on her first visit.

Papa put his arm around his wife. “Remember what we discussed. This is a good decision for Katniss. For all of us.”

After Katniss and Papa had returned from delivering Peeta back to his father three and half months ago, her parents had debated Mr. McIntyre’s proposal. He had said that he would be willing to waive the requirement that only residents of Cardinal and its mining outposts have access to the school, but as part of an exchange. He’d described a little about his own experiences when he was a young man, and how if it hadn't been for Arden he would have died out there in the forest. He needed to know that Peeta wouldn’t be that vulnerable, so he asked if Papa would educate his son about how to survive in the woods. Papa said that he was agreeable to that arrangement.

Mr. McIntyre said that the school’s principal would see to it that there was a bed for Katniss at the home for the out-of-town mine workers’ children, and that he'd pay for the principal to provide any additional tutoring that was deemed necessary. But Papa had insisted that the family would also contribute to covering any costs for his daughter’s education. Peeta’s father had simply nodded. Her parents would never accept charity, and Mr. McIntyre seemed to understand this.

Papa had mentioned how Mama was going to be resistant to the idea, and Mr. McIntyre had listened and taken a moment to consider things. He stated that he was aware of what had happened to Mama’s family at Shelter Lake. He asked Katniss what she thought about coming to Cardinal to go to school and she had responded with enthusiasm. It wasn’t until later that the first hint of trepidation set in about leaving her family to live with strangers.

 _‘But they’re not all strangers,’_ she had reminded herself. She knew Peeta, and Arden, and even Mr. McIntyre himself was apparently on her side.

Before they'd departed from the lake, Papa declared that Katniss was going to be needed at home through the fall and winter to help with hunting and trapping in order to help save up for her housing and education costs. Peeta’s father had added that that was convenient, because he expected that they would need time to make any necessary improvements to their home before his son came to stay with them next summer, as they had agreed.

At first Katniss felt insulted by the notion that their house wasn’t good enough, but when they got home, Papa told Mama he suspected it was William McIntyre’s way of closing the deal, since he was providing all the materials for them, using the excuse that it was for his son’s comfort. Mama balked at the idea— just like Katniss— but then Papa reminded her that they could really benefit from this help.

It was then that Katniss learned that she and Logan were going to have a little brother or sister the beginning of February, and Katniss now understood why her father had wanted her to remain home until after the winter thaw. It took over a month until Mama finally agreed that maybe they could use the improvements to their home for the sake of their growing family. She was put at ease that Katniss would be almost nine, and more independent, by the time she would leave them to attend school in Cardinal.

The plan was for her to return home in the summer with Peeta, and then, if all went well, Katniss would be allowed to return to Cardinal the following December before the winter set in, for the remainder of the school year.

Papa reminded Mama that over the summer and autumn months, Katniss would be able to pass along to Logan whatever she had learned. It was a compromise, but Katniss had agreed without hesitation. She also promised to contribute her own pelts, and any other tradable items she gathered, to help cover the costs for her stay in Cardinal. In the end, Mama couldn’t deny that it was a good deal.

Mama was over four months pregnant now. She claimed that she had been feeling too ill through the summer to make the journey earlier, but Katniss suspected that she needed the extra time to be certain. Even so, she still insisted that she come to Cardinal to meet the principal, examine the boarding house, and speak with Mr. McIntyre in person before she gave her final approval. But Katniss was confident that it was just to allay her Mama’s reservations.

As they walked through the center of town toward the General Store, Katniss glanced over at the school, knowing that Peeta was sitting in one of the classrooms. He’d be let out soon, and she couldn't wait to tell him the good news— that in a few months, she’d be one of those kids, too. She also felt anxiety sweeping over her at the thought of the changes she would be facing in the coming months. She needed to see her friend because she knew it would give her courage.

They were climbing the stairs to the General Store, when she heard the school bell ring. While the rest of her family entered and were warmly greeted by Arden, she hung back on the veranda, watching as the children exited the school. When she saw Peeta’s blond head walking toward her, his eyes looking at the ground, she called his name and waved.

The look of surprise and delight on his face when he saw her pushed all doubt from her mind. She was anxious to share her news. She was going to learn to read! Peeta ran toward the store wearing an infectious grin, and Katniss leapt down the steps, two at a time, running to meet her friend halfway.


	8. Protecting Each Other

**Chapter Seven - Protecting Each Other**

_Katniss_

The butterflies in Katniss’s stomach grew the closer she and Papa got to Cardinal. After years of wishing for the chance to learn to read, and months of saving and preparing for this day, now that it was finally here the reality of being separated from her family was threatening to crumble her resolve. The heat from unseasonably warm temperatures for March didn’t help either. Ordinarily, a hint of an early spring should fill her with joy, but right now the the sun just made her feel dizzy and a little sick to her stomach.

True to her agreement, she had worked diligently through the past months to save up for this venture. So had Papa. He’d also been very busy making changes to their home in accordance with Mr. McIntyre’s requirements. Peeta’s father had even provided some help from town to deliver materials to expand their modest cabin. Everyone had done their part to fulfill her dream, even Mr. McIntyre. And this was for Peeta, too, she reminded herself. He would get to learn important skills this summer, living with them as part of the deal that had been struck between their families.

“What’s on your mind, Little Duck?” Papa asked as they ate their snack beside Halfway Lake before embarking on the final stretch to Cardinal. “You’re awfully quiet.”

Katniss didn’t want to admit her fear, especially after all the work others had done to make this happen.

“I’m going to miss Violet,” she said after a moment of consideration.

This was true even if it wasn’t the whole source of her anxiety. Her little sister had been born less than a month ago, and Katniss had been allowed to help the midwife— a friend of her mother’s— in the delivery. It had been both scary and exciting to witness, but she was glad that she had delayed leaving for Cardinal so that she could be there to experience it. The moment she held her little sister for the first time, it had been love at first sight.

“She’s going to change so much while I’m away. Maybe she won’t even remember me,” she lamented.

Papa chuckled, “I wouldn’t worry about that. But she’s going to miss you, too. Your mother will as well, given how much of a help you’ve been in taking care of her.”

He ran his hand over her head and looked at her with such love that Katniss’s anxiety was momentarily forgotten.

“You’re going to be a great mother one day,” Papa said proudly, but then added with a smirk, “Just make sure you give me at least another twenty years for my little girl to grow up before she goes off and gets married.”

Katniss smiled. “Don’t worry Papa. When I marry Peeta, we’ll live real close by.”

Papa choked on his snack. “You might not want to announce that plan around your Mama anytime soon, and definitely not until she gets to know him a little better,” he chuckled.

They were both silent, lost in thought, chewing the last bites of some dried fruit.

“Why don’t you and Mama like him?” Katniss finally asked.

“Oh no, Katniss, it’s not Peeta. You understand that there’s some bad history between us and the town people. We may never see exactly eye to eye, and it’s especially hard for your mother to forget that. Just be patient with her. Can you promise me that?”

Katniss gave her head a nod. Papa cupped her chin in his hand and continued, “And I promise we’ll try to not hold it against Peeta either. What the McIntyres are doing for us... Well, that’s a step in the right direction. Besides, you’re going to meet lots of other kids this spring, and make all sorts of other friends, too. Some that are even from families that we used to know before they left the forest to live in Cardinal. So how about you don’t go making any big plans just yet.”

He was teasing, she could tell by his demeanor, but it annoyed her that Papa brought that up again. He'd used this reason as one of the ways to convince her mother to let her come to Cardinal. It had come up one more time, by Mama, just prior to her departure. Katniss agreed to make an effort to make other friends, only because she didn’t want to jeopardize the plans. But it had bothered her, because she knew what her mother was insinuating.

Katniss refused to entertain the idea that anyone would displace Peeta. He was the one who'd made this all possible in the first place. She didn’t say it to Mama, but there was no way that somebody else would ever become her best friend. She hoped Papa was sincere that they would try to see Peeta the way she did.

Once they began the last leg of their trip, Katniss’s thoughts returned to the emerging sense of homesickness that was growing inside her. Plus, there was the pressure of everyone’s investment in order to provide this opportunity for her. But she knew she mustn’t disappoint them.

 _Peeta will be there_ , she reminded herself. That made it all bearable.

While she would have preferred that their first stop was to see Peeta, so he could help ease her distress, they went directly to the boarding house where the principal was waiting to meet them. Mrs. Carson was a stern woman, but Katniss gained a degree of confidence from her efficiency and apparent competence as she described to Papa the plans for her education.

She assured him about the strict adherence to rules in the boarding house that she ran, explaining that no nonsense would be tolerated. Papa seemed to like that, though Katniss thought it sounded unnecessarily restrictive. She was told that she would share a room with another girl her age whose parents worked at one of the mines outside Cardinal. Mrs. Carson claimed that she was a very friendly girl and Katniss would feel welcome and accepted here. But the only person she longed to see was Peeta, the one person who could possibly make this place feel like home.

It was almost lunch break by the time Katniss and Papa had completed their meeting and had a tour of her home for the next three months. Her room at the boarding house was at the end of the hall on the main floor. It was spacious compared to what she was used to. It even included an actual off-the-floor bed, which was located against one wall. Her roommate's bed was on the opposite side of the room and a shared dresser for their things stood in between them. The room had a desk with chairs at either end for them to do their homework. There was a bathroom down the hall with running water and actual flushing toilets, which was interesting.

Despite the size of her room, Katniss felt oddly suffocated being here, sharing space with a stranger. But Katniss was pleased that the window to the room was adjacent to her bed— one with real glass that opened to let in the fresh air.

When it was time to introduce her to her new teacher, the three of them walked across the yard to the school, and Katniss finally caught sight of Peeta. But she noticed that he was engaged in an animated discussion with a pretty, strawberry blond girl of similar age. Inexplicably she felt a twisting in her gut. She couldn’t understand exactly what it was that bothered her, but all she knew was that she didn’t like this girl.

As they approached, though, Peeta looked over and his face broke into an excited grin, and he rushed over to meet them. Katniss wasn’t entirely happy that the blond joined him.

“You’re here!” he said quickly and then gripped the arm of the girl standing beside him. “This is Abigail, she’s going to be your roommate.”

The girl had a huge grin and stunned Katniss by giving her a tight hug. “I’m so glad you and I are going to be friends. Peeta has told me all about you. You sound so amazing! I can’t believe that you know how to hunt, all by yourself.”

The girl’s infectious enthusiasm was a little much from a complete stranger, but she seemed genuine. Katniss couldn’t help the sense of suspicion though, because she still didn’t like how close she and her best friend seemed to be.

The rest of the day involved getting familiar with her teacher, her classmates, and the routine of schooling she would have. She would learn with the younger students, so unfortunately she wasn’t going to be in Peeta’s class, at least for now. And she would receive an hour of individual tutoring with the principal after school. There hadn’t been much time to spend with Peeta as she settled in.

The first night, though it had been a mild day, the evening air was chilly. Katniss insisted on opening the window a little, and even though Abigail, or Abby as she insisted Katniss address her, had protested a bit, the girl seemed to be determined to be friends, so she'd relented and fetched another blanket.

Her roommate fell asleep almost immediately. But Katniss was restless as she lay in her bed. Her mind wouldn’t shut off. It was overflowing with all the new things she’d had to absorb that day, and a piercing sense of longing stabbed at her heart as she thought about her family so far away.

Papa would be back later in the spring, probably with Logan, but she wouldn't see Mama and Violet until the summer. And despite how much she had yearned to be here, she couldn’t stop the tears from running down her cheeks. It was nearly morning before exhaustion finally overcame her, and it was only a few hours later that Abigail’s cheerful voice woke her with a call to get dressed or they’d be late for breakfast.

Katniss’s first full school day was a welcome distraction from her anxieties. At lunch break Peeta stuck close to her at all times, which helped. He introduced her to some of his friends. Two of them joined Abby and ate lunch with them that day. Glenn was the son of one of Cardinal’s deputies. Danny’s father worked in the mines. Katniss learned that Danny's older sister, Clara, was a good friend of Peeta’s sister, Genny. She scanned the yard wondering if Peeta’s brother and sister were there, and when she might meet them, but decided that it could wait for another day.

That evening, after Katniss finished a meeting with Mrs. Carson to see how she was settling in, Peeta was waiting outside the boarding house for her along with Abby and Danny. He asked if she wanted to go visit Arden and she nodded. When the two friends said they needed to go and study, she was relieved to get away from them and have Peeta all to herself. All these new people made it a little overwhelming.

They said goodbye and Abby said she’d see Katniss at the evening roll call, reminding her to not be late. Mrs. Carson was strict about that sort of thing. Katniss reached out and took Peeta’s hand. At first he looked at her in surprise, but he must have seen her anxiety because he gave it a reassuring squeeze.

They entered the store and Peeta said ‘Hi’ to Velma, a fifteen-year-old who was one of Arden’s two new helpers. While they sat on the front steps of the store, bundled up in their sweaters as the sun fell behind the hills, he told her that both Velma’s parents had been killed in one of their mines due to a ventilation failure. His father had told the foremen that from now on, husbands and wives were not to be allowed to work the same shifts. That made sense to Katniss. It was scary to think of what it must be like to lose both parents at the same time. She had a new understanding of why Papa didn’t like the idea of working in the mines, but, because this was Peeta’s family’s business, she kept it to herself.

She sucked on a piece of hard candy from the store and became aware of music faintly playing in the distance. Then voices began singing along with it. When she asked Peeta what it was, he pointed to the town’s church and said it was probably the choir practicing for Sunday. Katniss perked up at that. It was something beautiful in this coal-dusted town that reminded her of home and Papa.

Peeta grew silent, looking at the candy in his hands. After a moment he said quietly, “My mother used to sing there.”

Katniss turned to study her friend. He didn’t talk much about his family, and she was more than curious to learn more, but knew she had to be careful how she asked about it because it always seemed to make him uncomfortable.

“Was she a good singer?” she asked, trying to keep the topic of conversation going.

They were both startled by Arden’s gruff voice from behind them. “She had the voice of an angel. Nobody could come close to it.”

Katniss’s thoughts immediately went to her father. While she didn’t want to contradict Arden or diminish Peeta’s mother’s talent in front of him, she was skeptical that anyone could have a voice more lovely than her father's.

She remembered Mama saying that Papa could charm all decent restraint out of her with his singing voice. Papa had answered with a mischievous grin, “Well then, come here and give me some love in exchange for a song,” as he tried to capture her in an embrace and kiss her while she pretended to fight him off. Katniss and Logan had giggled at the display.

Arden sat down on the other side of Peeta and continued, “It was the only time I ever saw your father come to church. Well, not actually inside to sit down, but I’d see him hanging outside the doors, just listening.”

Peeta nodded in agreement, but didn’t say anything. He seemed lost in thought.

Katniss decided that apparently church was a pretty big deal for the citizens of town on Sunday mornings, though she recalled Agnes saying that Mr. McIntyre worked every day.

“But he doesn’t go anymore?” she asked.

Peeta shook his head. “Not after she got sick.”

“Yeah,” Arden added. “He’ll tell you that it’s because there’s too much work to do with meeting the trains, but he resented some of the gossipy types. And I think he’s still holding a big grudge about how unfair it was that she, of all people, was allowed to die.”

“Do you go, Arden?” Katniss inquired.

He huffed, “I’ve never been one for the whole organized church thing. Not that I have a problem with the idea,” he tacked on. He shifted his position on the hard wooden step and grumbled, “I don’t care for the superior attitude of some of the congregation, and the dim view they take when it comes to my distilling business— at least in public. Hypocrites,” he muttered, “Some of them are my best customers.”

Regardless, the idea of hearing music and getting to sing with such a large group of people, all in one place, sounded intriguing to Katniss.

Arden nudged Peeta’s shoulder and nodded his head over toward the boarding house. Katniss looked up and saw Mrs. Carson standing at the front door with her arms crossed over her chest, watching them.

“Well, you two better call it a night before the warden comes over here and gives us all grief for Katniss missing curfew.”

The three of them got up, and she and Peeta said goodnight to Arden. He told Peeta to be a gentleman and make sure she got home safely. Peeta rolled his eyes like it was the most obvious thing and he didn’t need to be told. It bothered Katniss to feel so clingy and nervous, but she was grateful to have him by her side just a little longer.

On the walk over to the boarding house, he was upbeat, telling her of some the fun things they were going to be able to do together with her living in town now. But she was distracted.

“I’ll see you tomorrow at school,” he said with a smile and a wary glance at the hovering principal. Then he turned to make his way home. She felt the now familiar dread descending over her. The nights were the worst.

After lights out, with everyone, including Abby, asleep, Katniss quietly slid the window open, grabbed her shoes and a sweater, and, as silent as a hunter, slipped through the opening out into the chilly night air.

 

_Peeta_

_Tick_ … _Tick_ …

Peeta was awakened by the sound, and, in his foggy half-sleep, he thought it must be his clock. He rubbed his eyes and glanced over at it and saw that it was a few minutes before midnight.

_Tick…_

He searched for the source and realized that it was coming from his window. Curious, he got up from his bed and looked down into the back yard. There stood a small figure standing on the grass, shadowy in the dim light cast by the kitchen porch light.

When he opened his window, Katniss said, “Hey,” softly in a whisper. She dropped the small pebble in her hand.

“Hey,” he answered back. “What are you doing? Won’t you get in trouble?” She hugged her arms around herself, looking cold, but she remained mute. “Wait. I’ll come down,” he said and closed the window.

Peeta crept down the stairs and noticed the light coming out from under his father’s study door. That wasn’t unusual, since he was always up late and generally the first to awake in the morning, except for maybe Agnes. He made his way toward the kitchen, confident that the cook would be asleep at this hour because of her early morning schedule. As expected, the kitchen was dark other than the faint light coming in through the window. He opened the back door and Katniss slipped in.

“I can’t sleep,” she said, her voice sounding plaintive.

“How come?” he asked, concerned when he saw that she looked like she might cry.

She stammered and fidgeted, trying to explain. Finally she whispered, “Can I stay here with you? Just tonight. Please?”

Seeing her distress, he nodded, but told her they needed to be very quiet so they wouldn’t get in trouble. Katniss nodded vigorously and he was relieved to see the anxiety retreat from her pretty gray eyes. They tiptoed up the stairs, careful to avoid the creaky spots on the treads, and down the hall to his room.

Katniss was all smiles as she hopped onto his bed. It felt a little weird to him, but his concern overrode all else. Then he remembered the night he'd spent with the Everdeens last summer, and it occurred to him that her family slept all close together and she’d never been apart from them before. And next, he realized that this must mean that she thought of him as something like family, too. He flushed with warmth at the thought.

As he settled in beside her, Katniss snuggled up close to get warm. Peeta told her they needed to wake early so she could get back to the boarding house before being missed. They didn’t need to give the principal reason to expel her just when she’d finally been allowed to stay. She assured him that she would wake up on time.

He could hear her breathing begin to even out, her breath soft on his neck, and it made him feel something familiar. Just before drifting off to sleep she whispered, “I love you, Peeta.”

Peeta was startled, and froze at hearing the words. His mind started to spin— at the weight of it, and how it made his heart feel like it could burst. How long had it been since someone had said these words to him? And then he understood why it felt so familiar having Katniss here with him. It reminded him of the way it had felt when his mother was still alive, feeling that affection and love. And Katniss had said it to him, he marvelled.

But he couldn’t help rationalize how this must be just a natural thing for her to say because of her upbringing. The Everdeens always talked that way to each other. And suddenly he realized with regret that he had said nothing in return, and was embarrassed. But Katniss was already fast asleep curled up by his side. She even had a contented smile on her face.

 _‘I’ll tell her tomorrow,_ ’ he promised himself, and soon Peeta grew drowsy. He joined her in sleep and that night his dreams were pleasant.

Peeta was awakened by a little nudge. He checked his clock and saw that it was shortly before 5:30 am. They crept downstairs, and Peeta was grateful that the house was still quiet. There was no light coming from his father’s study, and fortunately Agnes wasn’t up yet either. At the kitchen door, Katniss gave him a conspiratorial smile and said that she’d see him at school. He reached for her arm, imperative to let her know the truth.

“Katniss?” He faltered, the unfamiliarity of the words nearly tripping up his tongue. “I… I love you, too.”

She looked at him quizzically for a second, as if amazed at how serious he was, but then gave him a quick hug and disappeared silently into the predawn darkness. Peeta turned to go back to his room, face flushed and heart beating with the adrenaline of the confession, when the kitchen light came on.

He was frozen in the spot, panicked at being caught by Agnes, who stood gawking at him in surprise. When she asked why he was up so early, Peeta snapped out of his paralysis and quickly made up an excuse on the spot about how he wanted to help her with baking.

“Before breakfast? On a school day?” she asked, incredulous.

But she shrugged when he nodded sheepishly and told him to go fetch the mixing bowl to start preparing the dough for cinnamon rolls. Peeta smiled smugly to himself, satisfied that he pulled one over on her. And thoroughly relieved that he hadn’t blown it for Katniss.

 

_Katniss_

“I can keep a secret.”

Katniss almost jumped out of her skin as she was closing the window to her room as silently as possible.

Abby sat up in her bed and continued in a whisper, “I won’t tell anyone, I promise.”

Katniss considered her options. She couldn’t risk alienating her roommate and have her tattle to Mrs. Carson. But could she trust her? Her initial wariness of this girl still lingered.

Seeing her hesitation, her roommate slipped from her bed and sat down beside Katniss. “I remember how scared I was when I first came here. I had to share a room with a horrible older girl who always made fun of me and called me a baby when I cried the first week.” She reached over and took Katniss’s hand. “You went to Peeta’s, didn’t you.”

The breath caught in Katniss’s throat at the realization that she’d been caught. She struggled, desperately trying to find a plausible explanation, but she was never a very good liar.

“It’s okay. I understand,” Abby said with such sweetness and sincerity, Katniss was finally able to breathe.

Maybe she could trust this girl after all. She gave an imploring smile back.

“We still have a little time before the wake-up bell. We should try and get some more sleep,” Abby said, and returned to her bed. Katniss crawled under her covers and reassured herself that it was all going to be okay.

By lunchtime, despite the new alliance forged with her roommate, Katniss was beyond relieved to see Peeta. He leaned over and, in a whisper, asked her if anyone had seen her sneaking back. She told him about Abby, and, after a moment of deliberation, he nodded in approval and assured her that he was certain she was trustworthy.

After tutoring Katniss went to meet Peeta at the General Store as they had agreed. He stood up and came toward her as she approached, but he was intercepted by an older boy who looked to be maybe fourteen-years-old. The boy was with a couple of his friends, and from their body language it wasn’t a happy encounter.

“Waiting for your girlfriend?” the boy teased with a sneer. “Father find you a cheap toy to play with, just like your mother?”

Katniss was horrified— at first for the vindictive nature of the boy’s attitude towards Peeta— but then at the astonishment that not only had he insulted Peeta’s mother, but he had insulted her as well.

Unexpectedly, Peeta threw himself at the boy. The bigger kid was apparently taken by surprise, because he was knocked to the ground by the force of the smaller boy’s assault.

“Take it back!” Peeta screamed at him.

The boy’s friends stood by, watching, as the object of Peeta’s rage remained stunned and speechless. When Peeta pummelled him with his fist, they even snickered a little. The initial shock must have wore off, because the larger boy threw Peeta off of him. He wiped the blood that was starting to ooze from his nose onto his sleeve. Katniss could see that he was seething. He lunged at Peeta, trapping him, his arm around his throat.

She didn’t hesitate. She leapt onto the boy’s unprotected back and started pulling his mousy-brown hair, and, when that didn’t work, attempted to scratch his eyes. The boy managed to swipe her off his back and she fell hard onto the ground, leaving her momentarily winded. But at least he had let go of Peeta.

When the boy turned to deal with Katniss, Peeta yelled, “You leave her alone, or I’ll…”

They all stood glaring at each other for a few seconds when the older boy’s friends started to laugh.

“Or you’ll what?” the boy taunted, but the fight was gone from his voice. “Come on,” he grumbled to his friends, “Let’s go. You’re not worth the trouble,” he snarled at Peeta. He gave Katniss a condescending glare and walked off.

Katniss went over to Peeta and tried to hug him, but he brushed her off, embarrassed. She tried to mask her hurt at the rejection, but then wondered if maybe this was what Peeta lived with all the time in Cardinal, and felt only compassion.

“Who was that kid?” she asked.

“That’s just Russell, my brother,” Peeta muttered.

Katniss knew Peeta wasn’t exactly close to his family, but this was incomprehensible.

“Why does he treat you like that?” And then she remembered what her parents had said that morning out by the wood pile. She reached out a tentative hand to touch his arm and gently asked, “Peeta, how come you’ve never told me about your mother?”

Peeta looked at her, his body stiff and defensive at first, but then the tension in his shoulders relaxed, and he just looked sad. “She wasn’t married to my father, so sometimes people say mean things about her. And me.”

“I’m sorry she died,” Katniss said, her heart aching for him. “I wish I had met her.”

He looked down at the ground for a second, and then his beautiful blue eyes looked into hers entreatingly. “Do you want to go for a walk? I want to show you something,” he said, and Katniss nodded her head.

As they made their way towards the edge of town, Katniss reached over and took his hand, hoping to put the encounter behind them with her show of support and affection. She heard Peeta give a small chuckle and looked over at him questioningly.

“What’s so funny?” she asked.

“Did you see the look on Russ’s face after you jumped him?”

Katniss grinned back. “Almost as good as how shocked he looked when you gave him the bloody nose.”

They both laughed and then fell silent for a moment.

“We make a good team,” Peeta said proudly.

“That’s because we protect each other,” Katniss declared.

Peeta looked at her, more pensive this time. “I’ll always protect you,” he said solemnly.

Katniss answered, “Me, too.”

When they reached the cemetery, Peeta led her over to a simple wooden marker. Katniss looked around. Some graves had fancier stone markers, but some had nothing at all— just barely discernible mounds covered in meadow grass.

“This is where she’s buried. My mother,” he whispered.

There were words carved on the marker, so she asked Peeta what it said. He answered that it was her name, Marigold Miller, and that she had been twenty-five-years-old when she died.

“Every year my father plants marigolds. But it’s too early yet for them. I wish I had some flowers to give her.”

That seemed sweet to Katniss, and she didn’t like that it made Peeta sad to have nothing to place on his mother’s grave. Her eyes fell on a surprising flash of yellow. She got up and went to pick what must be the first dandelions of the year.

“Here, these look almost like marigolds,” she said and placed them by the marker.

“But it’s just a weed,” he said, and Katniss was indignant.

“No, it’s not!” she snorted.

She proceeded to tell him about how they harvested dandelions for food and how Mama had taught her all about how valuable they were for their helpful medicinal properties. As she said it, she couldn’t help but think of Peeta. She was reminded that if it hadn’t been for him, she wouldn’t be here able to attend school. How if it wasn't for him, her wish wouldn’t have been fulfilled.

“And later on, when they turn to seed,” she explained, “you blow on them and make a wish, and if you dream about it, it will come true. They’re magical!”

Peeta looked at her with suspicion. “You’re making that up,” he said.

Katniss shook her head, her eyes wide, “No I’m not, it’s true,” she insisted.

Peeta seemed to consider the idea for a moment. When he spoke again his expression was wistful. “It reminds me of that song. You know, the one I taught your family when I stayed with you. About the meadow.”

Katniss thought about it and agreed. It was similar. “You see? Your Mama knew about it, too. The dandelions help the dreams to come true.”

“We better get back before supper or you’ll get in trouble,” Peeta said as they got up from the ground, but when Katniss hesitated, he seemed to sense what was on her mind. He placed his hand on her arm and said, “It’s okay if you want to come over again tonight, if you get scared.”

Katniss's dread of facing the night alone disappeared.

They began the walk back to town and, after a short deliberation, she told him that he didn’t have to come downstairs to meet her. That it was easy to climb onto the porch roof above the kitchen door, close to his window. She said to him that he could just open the window before going to bed, and that way he wouldn’t even need to get up.

After that, he always left the window open for her.


	9. Promises

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And now for something a little different as the story takes a detour into the enigmatic William McIntyre's POV.

**Chapter Eight - Promises**

_William_

“I don’t need you.”

William McIntyre suspected that if any other father heard his eldest son say those words, it would have evoked some kind of sadness and sense of loss, but, for him, what he felt was mostly relief. Billy had insisted he was just fine on his own when William had offered to accompany him on the train back to school after the winter break. He had apparently adjusted to life in the Capitol with minimal difficulty. As a matter of fact, his son, now seventeen, had appeared to actually be eager to return.

William had spent the last couple of hours tossing and turning in bed. He had always been an insomniac. It emerged out of a habit he’d picked up from a young age— sleeping with one eye open, ever ready for fight or flight if the situation called for it. As an adult, the monsters no longer prowled just outside his door but inside his head. They took the form of chronic nightmares, where the threat often appeared like a pack of wolves circling silently, ready to attack the moment his guard was down.

The cause of his anxiety may have changed, but the restlessness hadn’t. He lay in bed watching the clock as it checked off the hours, his thoughts tonight not on the political and economic concerns impacting Cardinal, but on personal matters.

It had been a couple of months since Billy had returned to school in the Capitol. As a father, he knew he was woefully inadequate. The techniques that he used to cope were the same things that kept him from connecting with his children the way he should. It was a cruel twist of fate that his children had been denied their mothers who had been better equipped for parenthood. It was a guilt he carried, but it was at least partially alleviated by seeing Billy become so independent and self-reliant. If he succeeded in doing an adequate job, soon Eugenia and Russell wouldn’t need him anymore either.

In a way, they never had relied on him. Their mother had taken on the primary role of parent before her stroke, and had possessively taken charge of grooming her children for their inheritance. His responsibility to them had been to protect that inheritance for them when they came of age. Even after she'd been stricken and later died, her influence continued because their lives had been preordained for them. The three had always belonged to his wife, to the town, and to each other. They may be McIntyres in name, but they were Alexanders in reality.

But it wasn’t the case with his youngest son. Weeks before she had died, Marigold had entreated, “He’s going to need you, William, when I’m gone.”

He’d shaken his head, refusing to accept the fate that she already knew awaited them.

“The Capitol will send one of their doctors, one who knows how to beat this. They’ll figure it out,” he’d insisted, frustrated with her.

“The same ones who couldn’t help your wife?” she answered sadly.

She must have seen his desperation, because she'd tried to console him. “Arden will help, you can count on him. Agnes, too— you know how much she dotes on him.”

But he didn’t want to hear it. He’d spent many years fighting forces that threatened, but some of them— like the cancer— didn’t take a tangible form. Like the wolves in his dreams. Even so, it had upset him to hear her acquiesce so easily.

Because he and Marigold had made a deal with each other.

Deals were the cornerstone of his life. Contracts and promises gave him a sense of control and stability in an otherwise chaotic world. It had helped to make him successful. It had also been a tool he’d learned to use in order to cope. At forty-four, he prided himself on being an astute judge of character, and, after years of practice, he had a canny sense of which deals were risks worth taking. The days of being screwed over by unscrupulous people were behind him. So long as all parties remained true to the terms of the agreement, he had no problem returning the favor. It had started with Arden.

In addition to using deals to manage his insecurities, William had built a kind of armor around the small, scared, vulnerable boy he had once been. He’d learned to steel himself to the emotions that could cripple him, had mastered the technique to the point that he was almost unaware that the boy existed anymore. Almost.

Arden had been the first person who had earned his trust, back during a time when even the most honorable of people would have been suspect. The bond of friendship with Arden went beyond mere obligation and agreement, however. He'd saved William when there was nothing in it for him, a selfless act of charity, and William never forgot it.

Sure, Arden had grumbled at the time about how he had no choice but to help the injured and sick teenager, saying it was either that or have to deal with his rotting, stinking corpse, and claiming it would have interfered with his ability to distill his alcohol in a pleasant environment.

But William knew better. Under the rough exterior lay a truly decent man. The deal they had forged was unique, more than merely partners, but practically family. Few people had his absolute loyalty or could get away with the things Arden would do or say to him. Because few people had gotten close enough to fully understand his troubles and yet still accept him without condition.

Arden had been the first person to gain a glimpse inside the armor at the boy he'd once been. During a night of celebrating their first large-scale sale of quality whiskey to Cardinal that put the local bootleggers to shame, Arden had joked that if he hadn’t seen William bleed, he’d question whether an actual human lay under the skin given the coolness with which he always conducted himself.

Under the influence of a large quantity of their own liquor, a dark confession slipped out. Once William started, the details of his early life poured out like the whiskey they shared. The next day William had regretted his indiscretion, along with the hangover, but Arden had proved himself to be a dependable friend when it came to his secrets. There were no maudlin words of sympathy, or judgement. Just quiet empathy. But William had never allowed himself to get that drunk again.

The deal he’d made with his wife, however, unlike with Arden, had been no different than any other typical business arrangement. When his aptitude with commerce and administration became apparent, his future wife had approached him with a proposal. Her father, she complained, was an intolerable chauvinist who held on to the notion that Cardinal needed a man to run it. The skill that her father recognized, despite William’s lowly status as an outsider, not only qualified William to run Cardinal, it also made him a suitable choice for a husband.

She informed William that if he would guarantee her full say in the operation of the town and mines, she would be willing to marry him and accept him in the role as the official head of the town.

He may be many things, but William was neither chauvinistic nor prejudiced. He evaluated everyone with an equal degree of suspicion. The emotional detachment that came with the armor he carried, and which he used so effectively in his business performance, was apparently welcome to her. She neither knew, nor cared to know, about his past. Her father had passed away shortly after they made it official, and the arrangement and sharing of duties in the administration and expansion of Cardinal worked for them.

She had also acknowledged that there was in fact one thing that she couldn’t do on her own that he could provide— heirs to inherit the Alexander legacy. The fact that she took the lead with the children, including selecting Billy despite his young age at the time as the one most capable of running the town one day, took the pressure off of William.

After her stroke, he’d insisted on keeping his wife in the forefront of life in Cardinal and the household. He continued to meet with her daily to update her on all business, even though it wasn’t clear of how much she was aware. He made sure the children, too, spent time with their invalid mother to keep her informed about their lives to maintain that bond. It was the best he could do to fulfill his end of the deal. Because keeping your word was important.

But he hadn’t planned on Marigold.

As he lay in bed, his mind drifted to memories of her. Sometimes, on sleepless nights like these, dwelling on thoughts of her, he could almost feel her arm slip around him, her body wrapping across his back like a warm blanket, and hear the soft melody of her voice, soothing his restlessness.

The first time he had really noticed Marigold was early one summer when he'd come looking for Arden. He'd interrupted an aggressive drunk who had her cornered in the back of the General Store. She had just turned seventeen at the time. He recognized the fear in her eyes, imploring him to help her. It had stirred up a familiar anxiety that had long been buried.

When he’d demanded to know what was going on, the drunk had cowered, mumbled some excuse, and slinked off into the night. William would be lying if he didn’t admit that it gave him satisfaction that just his presence, no violence necessary, instilled that effect on people after years of being on the other side of the equation. Arden’s assistant had come and stood beside him, wordlessly watching the retreating figure, while the frantic pace of her breathing slowly returned to normal.

Something about her standing so close to him made William wary, despite the lack of physical threat she posed. He glanced over and reached down to pick up the narrow strap of her sun dress that had fallen down her arm, and placed it carefully back up on her shoulder. He'd been careful to not let his fingers touch her skin. He understood that being touched after such an ordeal would be unwelcome.

But he was surprised when she placed her hand on top of his, trapping it, and had whispered, "Thank you." She'd looked at him with eyes so beautiful, he’d been stunned that he had never noticed before just how incredibly blue they were.

Soon after the encounter he went to his mine foreman and informed him that the drunk was fired. Next, he went to see his Town Marshall, Sam, to see to it the man was expelled from Cardinal. When Arden pondered the degree of his reaction, William realized that he’d done something that not only didn’t help Cardinal, but hurt it. The man was one of their best workers the foreman had complained. The thought was unsettling.

It also sparked gossip. Some approved of his punitive actions while others grumbled, and rumors about the two of them began to make the rounds. Ironically, by the time the rumors became true, William knew that the one who should be most offended, Mrs. McIntyre herself, was likely indifferent. Marigold wasn’t a threat to anything that had been of importance to her, so long as it didn’t interfere with the running of Cardinal and her children’s legacy.

As the summer wore on, despite every fiber of his being warning to do otherwise, William found himself looking for excuses to stop by the store. He tried to convince himself it was for other reasons, but deep down he knew it was the proximity to Marigold that he desired— the way the touch of her hand lingered a second longer than necessary when she passed him Arden’s ledger for review, the warm and captivating smile in her eyes whenever he entered the store, and the chance to catch her singing softly to herself as she went about her tasks while he talked with Arden.

William may have thought he was being undetectable, but it hadn’t escaped his friend’s attention. Taking him aside one day in late summer, Arden had confronted him.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” he demanded.

William had tried to shrug it off, but his fixation disturbed him, too. It wasn’t helped by Arden’s reminders that he was married, that Marigold was nearly half his age, and that, beyond the obvious impediments, his emotional baggage was an unfair burden to place on this young woman, who was beyond desirable and highly eligible. Arden informed him that there were plenty of decent men sniffing around— some good enough for her to marry— but as long as she saw him as attainable, she would never move on. William had hated these nameless men, but he knew his friend was right. She deserved better.

After that, he avoided contact with Marigold. A few months later, his wife had her stroke and he'd become preoccupied with the task of running Cardinal solo in addition to the responsibility of his three children, all of which now rested fully on his shoulders. The distraction helped and nearly another year passed. But Marigold never completely left his thoughts.

At the beginning of July, he'd been working late one evening, when he was informed by Mabel that Arden’s assistant was there with a delivery for him. He assumed it was to do with store business, but he was surprised when she closed the door to his study and sat in the chair on the other side of his desk, bearing some kind of baked goods which she claimed was a gift.

It was an excuse to see him of course, and he wondered what she intended. Setting the gift on his desk beside the anthracite paperweight, she confronted him on the truth of their mutual attraction. William found himself on the defense, laying out for her all the reasons that Arden had given about why it was wrong, but she wouldn’t hear any of it.

Her honesty and forthright manner had unnerved him. Marigold must have recognized his distress, because her intensity gave way to diplomacy. She'd sat up tall in her chair despite her petite size, and then she laid it out in the terminology he understood best. That she knew he could accept. A deal.

She explained that ever since he'd confronted the drunk, no one had dared to harass her. When he suggested that any man worth his weight would have defended her in the same situation, she had shaken her head. No one else could intimidate the way he did. That just the rumors alone were enough to keep the wolves at bay. When she had used those words, it had hit deep, in the recesses of his own nightmares.

He asked her sarcastically what he would get out of the deal, hoping the lewd insinuation would put her off. But she had risen from her chair, made her way around the desk and took a seat on the desk top in front of him.

“I know the truth about your marriage,” she'd said solemnly, the side of her leg brushing his fingers as they clutched the arm of his chair. He wanted to move the hand, but not wanting her to know how it affected him, he'd remained still.

In a quiet voice Marigold informed him that Arden had told her about his past. William silently cursed his friend for breaking his confidence but realized he’d probably done it as a last attempt to dissuade her. He'd replied that she must then know what a lousy choice he was to waste her life on. She had simply smiled, disregarding his assertions.

Frustrated, he became cross and told her that, despite whatever misguided notions she might have about him, he wasn’t what she wanted and couldn’t be the person she needed.

Marigold had shocked him by snapping back, “Who are you to tell me what I want, or need?”

She had regarded him with the eyes he adored, full of blue fire like an anthracite flame, and then the intensity of her expression subsided. In a gentle voice, she told him that he didn’t need to be alone. That he deserved to be cherished, that she knew she could depend on his loyalty if only he would give it to her. Just like she pledged to never leave him.

He protested that there was nothing worth cherishing, how inside him it was just an empty place, dark and cold now, no better than the coal mine shafts they dug.  
Marigold had responded by assuring him that she would bring light and heat, enough for both of them.

Sensing that his armor was cracking, he had pleaded with her, “I’m not worth this, Marigold. You’d do better turning your attention on a lump of coal, at least you might get some warmth out of it.”

She'd turned to study the paperweight beside her, and ran her hand over the uneven, shiny, facetted surface. “What I see is beautiful and precious.”

 _More like ‘hard and brittle’_ , he told himself, and he suspected that if he let her touch him he would fracture along all the weak fissures. But a small piece of him wondered if it would be so bad a thing to be destroyed by something so lovely. And yet another part had pondered if it might actually be something that could hold it all together.

She'd broken the impasse with a musical laugh, and declared, “Are we going to keep doing this, throwing metaphors at each other?” She placed her hand on his cheek. “You are not coal, and my fire with not burn you, I promise. Let me do this for you, in exchange for you keeping me safe from harm, and I will consider it a fair trade.”

It would only take one word, and he knew he should say, ‘No,’ but when she leaned in close, her fingers combing through his blond hair, he was overcome with her radiance, like tendrils of light seeping in through all the crevasses, finding places that had been abandoned for so long. And he knew that if she stopped, he would long for it despite every instinct telling him he shouldn’t.

Finally in exasperation he asked, “Why are you doing this, Marigold?”

She slipped from the desk and into his lap, her body flush against him, the warmth of her breath on his neck as her lips traced along his skin, and he knew he would make the deal.

Her lips migrated from his neck to brush against his mouth, and she whispered against his lips, “Say, 'Yes',” inviting a kiss.

It felt so perfect, and it would be so easy.

So he said, ‘Yes’.

And true to her word she had loved him wholly despite his disfunction. But at night, when his guard was at its lowest, he’d let her inside his armor, accepting her comfort. The first night he'd been disturbed by a nightmare, she had sung to him. Drifting back into wakefulness, he'd stopped thrashing to try to catch the words that were so faint. He was a little offended at first when he realized it was a child’s lullaby, but soon he began to relax. Just the simple act of lying still in order to listen had allowed him to slip back into a peaceful slumber. It made him wonder if he was actually the one being protected, and not the other way around.

So, was it any wonder that, less than a year later, when she said she wanted a child that he couldn’t refuse? If he couldn’t express his devotion as well as he should, he wouldn't deny her the thing that would make her most happy.

When the pregnancy became obvious, the rumors turned into slander with Marigold receiving the brunt of it. But she never shrank from it. Underneath the delicate body, the captivating blue eyes, and hair like dark honey, lay a woman of fearless and unflappable conviction. She had won over the house staff working cheerfully beside them, and even made sure that his wife was properly cared for by her nurses. She had tried to reach out to his other children, too, though only Genny seemed to tentatively accept her.

When Peeta was born, it was different than with his other children. They belonged to Cardinal. But this boy, his entire future, was wholly in his hands, and it stressed him to think of what he could possibly have to offer him. He knew Marigold would be an excellent mother— she had so much love to give, enough for all of them— but holding his son for the first time filled him with a newly discovered terror. It added new fodder to his nightmares, even though he had Marigold to sooth them away.

If his relationship with Marigold hadn’t been an issue for his wife, the arrival of her son had been. He could tell by her agitation even if she couldn’t articulate the words. Mrs. McIntyre saw the child as a kind of trespasser, and even William’s flawless record at keeping his promises to her and her children didn’t diminish the threat that she believed Marigold's son posed.

Billy picked up on his mother’s disdain, and soon Russell, who took his lead from his older brother, did the same. It was awkward because to confront his children somehow felt like a betrayal of his wife’s trust. He was careful to demand respectable conduct, and they complied, at least in his presence. But he knew the boys resented his connection to Marigold and her child. He endeavored to provide them all equivalent attention, but only succeeded in being equally deficient with all his children, and it filled William with self-loathing.

Regardless, Marigold handled it all with grace and patience. But then she'd gotten sick. When the cancer had eventually robbed her of her voice, with tears streaming down her face, her eyes had said to him, _‘I’m sorry.’_

But he didn’t want her apologies, he just wanted her to stay with him. He remained in denial to the end, willing her to hold on, but finally he saw her beautiful eyes for the last time and she slipped into unconsciousness from which she never awoke.

When she died, the wolves that had been kept at bay, who represented everyone and everything that had ever hurt him, attacked through the gaps in his armor, invading the spaces left vacant by the loss of Marigold’s presence. He'd felt their claws and fangs on his arms and had lashed out in panic, only to realize it was only Arden, his friend, whom he attacked shamefully.

“Get it together!” Arden had hissed at him. “She’s gone, but you still have responsibilities. And that boy, you’re all he has left now, so figure it out, for him!”

He’d screamed back at his friend and everyone else to leave, and then had sunk down to the floor in the corner, holding his head where his friend had struck him to snap him out of his delirium. He was embarrassed and humiliated to have had his family and staff see him in that state. And he was filled with anger. Anger at the cancer, at the Capitol for not coming through, and finally at the woman lying in the bed before him.

His teeth clenched as he had silently screamed his accusations at her. She had broken their deal. The one where she promised to never leave, to love him always. She hadn’t kept her end of the bargain. He had allowed her to strip down the defenses he'd built around himself with her promises to shield him with her love. What they had exchanged was more than just a contract. They were vows, a deal made in his heart, damaged as it was, and he had pinned his life on them.

But then despair had settled like a cold mist, quenching his rage. Because he knew in that moment that by not protecting her from the ravages of her illness, he had broken his promise, too. That he had failed her first.

Alone, staring at the lifeless form in front of him, he began to patch the holes, mentally reconstructing the defenses, boxing up the hurt and fear and pain in a protective shell of numbness like the morphling he’d administered to Marigold. Recreating in his mind a safe, cold, dark place in which to retreat. By the time the sun was rising, the task was almost complete, enough to face Arden and his staff.

Later that day, sitting in his study, he pondered how Marigold would fearlessly stand at the front of the church, despite whatever cruel words of condemnation that may be whispered behind her back, and sing her songs of love, forgiveness, and redemption. William would sometimes stand and watch from a safe distance. When her eyes fixed on him, it was as if she was singing the words only for him.

But he knew he just wasn’t good enough. He knew all the ways he had failed his children and this woman who had accepted him so unconditionally. His inability to even tell her that he loved her. How he had never even allowed himself to cry when she died even though the anguish screamed inside his head.

 _‘Those songs are for you Marigold, but not for me,’_ he told himself.

But there was one thing left, a way to stay tethered to the light that she had brought into his life for those precious seven years.

"He’s going to need you," she had said.

Keeping that promise meant leaving a small vulnerability open, and he had regretted that it couldn’t be more. But it was the most he could endure and still function. He hoped that maybe it would be enough.

The next day after Marigold’s funeral, he'd called Peeta into the study and explained in cool terms how life would be going forward. If it wasn’t for the fact that it was buried under a thick layer of steel, his heart would have broken for seeing the sadness in his son’s face. But if he was going to fulfill this promise he needed to do what Arden said—to get himself together. Not just for his son, but his other children, the town, and everyone else who was counting on him to keep his word. And this was the only way he knew how.

Resigned to the fact that sleep wasn’t going to come tonight, he got out of bed and grabbed his robe when the early morning chilliness hit him. His wife had made a big deal about not running to answer every cry her children made at night. She had insisted that it was a tough world and they needed to learn to face up to it from a young age.

William never completely accepted that. He remembered what it was like to be young and afraid, but, as per their deal, he deferred to her when it came to the kids. But after she was stricken, he’d taken to occasionally wandering the halls late at night going from bedroom to bedroom to check on his children while they slept. When Peeta came along, his nightly vigils had become more frequent. It gave him relief to find them secure in their beds, but also sadness that this was likely as close as he might ever get to them.

He passed Billy’s empty room, paused briefly by Genny’s and through her door he could hear her roll over in bed, then to Russell’s where he could make out his son softly snoring. Satisfied, he crossed the hall to Peeta’s room.

Back when Peeta was still very small, he remembered Marigold sneaking him into bed with them. In the early years, all it had taken was a plaintive whimper to prompt her. Later, their son would sneak into the room of his own volition, usually complaining of a bad dream. Marigold had always been sensitive to William’s poor sleep habits, and had made a big deal of trying to cover up the fact that she allowed the intrusion, worrying that it would disturb him. But in truth the thought of the two of them close by, within safe reach, calmed him.

Now that she was gone and his son was too old for such things, William found that sometimes just watching Peeta sleep, especially when he looked content, made him feel closer to Marigold, as if she was perhaps close by watching over him, too. It eased the loneliness of his self-imposed isolation.

He reached for the door knob and quietly opened the door. And was met with a surprise.

There was the Everdeen girl curled up under the blankets with his son. Uncertain what to do, he quickly backed away, closed the door, and retreated to his room. He sat on the edge of the bed, wondering what he should do about this. After a few minutes of processing his options, he shook his head and returned to bed, deciding to bring it up with Arden in the morning. Maybe he would have some insight.

After breakfast and the children were off to school, William made his way over to the General Store. The store manager had hired two assistants this time around, and the older one who was no longer in school was already hard at work. Arden was sitting in the back, his hands wrapped around a mug of coffee, head down and looking haggard.

William shook his head. He was always competent and sober during the day, but he hated it when Arden drank too much, especially by himself. The two of them had an agreement however. William promised to not hassle Arden about his drinking, and Arden promised to not stick his nose into his business when his opinion wasn’t requested. When it came right down to it, though, neither of them were particularly good at keeping their promises when it came to the personal stuff.

“Any left for another cup?” William asked.

Arden looked up, his eyes red, and just nodded at the coffee pot to his left. “What brings you over this fine morning?” he asked sardonically. “Shouldn’t you be meeting with your foreman or something?”

“I need your advice.”

Arden looked up, a sarcastic response ready on his tongue. But realizing it wasn’t a joke, he pushed the chair opposite him out from under the table with his foot, and William, mug in hand, pulled it out and sat down. He described his discovery from the night before.

He looked at Arden, waiting for a reply, while his friend stared back at him. Then the store manager began to laugh, deep and loud, his whole body shaking.

“Well, damn!” Arden rocked back in his chair, a broad grin on his grizzled face. “I swear, whatever that boy of yours has got, if I could bottle whatever he’s got going on, and sell it, I’d be a wealthy man!”

William couldn’t contain his dismay. “You think this is some kind of joke? I’m serious Arden!”

“Aww, come on, relax,” Arden said holding up his hands in an act of conciliation. “They’re just kids.” He took a sip from his mug before continuing. “The Everdeen girl, she’s on her own for the first time, away from everything she’s ever known. And right now, that boy is the closest thing to family she has here in town. It’s natural that she’d want to stick close.”

“It’s only a matter of time and the principal discovers what’s going on, or my staff. You know how people can talk.”

Arden, serious now, nodded in agreement. “Yes, it would be a good idea to have a talk with everyone concerned. Nobody in this town will go against your direction, even Mrs. Carson, regardless of the rules she’s laid down.”

“I’ll have a word with Agnes and Mabel about discretion, too,” William agreed. “But there’s still her parents. I gave the Everdeens my guarantee that their daughter would be properly cared for. I’m not sure this is what they had in mind. Mrs. Everdeen already has trust issues where I’m concerned.”

“How about you let me take care of the Everdeens,” Arden says. “When Jack comes back into town, I’ll talk to him. Who knows? By then maybe this won’t be an issue anymore, anyway. The girl’ll settle in after a while. Besides, everyone knows how attached those two are, including Laurel,” Arden said.

After a long pause, Arden asked, “What else’s bugging you?”

“That’s just it. The thing is, I’m worried too. If what you say is true about their attachment to each other.”

“What do you mean?” Arden asked.

William could feel an old familiar ache. “What if this girl breaks his heart?”

Arden sat quietly for a spell, considering his answer. He rested his cheek in the palm of his hand that was propped up on the table, regarding William who looked back at him expectantly. William didn’t have to say it for his friend to know who was on his mind.

Finally Arden blew out a deep breath and said, “They are way too young for us to be fretting over such things at this point. But if it ever comes to that, I think it’s part of the price for living a full life. Taking that risk. Would you have rather not known Marigold at all, knowing how it would turn out?”

William gave a tired sigh and shook his head, but it didn’t make him feel any better.

Arden sat forward and spoke, his voice softer than usual. “For the time the two of you were together, Marigold was happy because of you, because of Peeta. It was a gift that you gave her.”

“More like the other way around,” William replied quietly.

“Well, there you go then. Sometimes the joy makes it all worth the heartache.” He reached over and patted his arm, “Don’t worry too much. He’s got us watching out for him. And between my people skills and your romantic aptitude, what could go wrong?” He leaned back in his chair and laughed so hard he began to cough.

William shook his head. He got up and placed the mug back on the counter. “Well, I’d better get to it. Thanks for the coffee.”

“Thank yourself. It was your trade dealing that brought the stuff to Cardinal in the first place.” His friend must have seen the gears turning in his head because, after a moment of hesitation, he said, “Something more on your mind?”

William leaned back against the counter. “I’ve been thinking a lot about what you said about jobs. How you took on an extra helper.”

“What good is it hoarding the income if the workload kills me? Ever since that evening train got added to the schedule, I’ve had my hands full.”

William nodded. It was encouraging that inter-district trade had grown to justify a second, midweek stop in Cardinal.

“Thinking about hiring another come summer to help when the crops come in,” Arden continued, “to handle the extra volume, along with all the other merchandise from the districts. What’re you thinking?”

“I’m heading to the Capitol next week, and I plan to stop in District 3 on the way.” When Arden raised his eyebrows inquiringly, he asked, “Would you mind if I borrowed that healing plant book of yours?”

“Tell me more,” Arden replied with curiosity.

William spent the next hour outlining an idea that had been formulating in the back of his mind.

Later that morning, as he walked across the square towards the school, Arden yelled from the store’s entrance, “And get some sleep, you look like hell.”

William waved over his shoulder without looking back.

"Speak for yourself," he murmured to himself with a smirk.

Just a meeting with Mrs. Carson to get out of the way and then he could focus on his business trip. William started mentally considering his scheme, and, as his thoughts shifted to economic matters, he began to feel better.


	10. New Adventures

**Chapter Nine - New Adventures**

_Katniss_

School was challenging but Katniss was motivated, and within a couple of months she could read simple stories, such as the ones from Peeta’s old story book, with some help. The two of them would often sit quietly in the meadow in the late afternoons after tutoring was over and read together. It was a peaceful time, and the pain of separation from her family gradually became just a wistful longing.

As the weeks went on, she got to know Peeta’s friends better, and she enjoyed their camaraderie. Peeta’s family was a different matter. Like Peeta, she avoided Russell. His sister Genny was nice, but she was sixteen so she spent time primarily with older kids. And Mr. McIntyre remained a mystery. He was so different from her own Papa. They didn’t interact that much as a family, only Sunday dinners when she was invited to join them as their guest. But everyone seemed so reserved, and conversation was kind of stiff, usually revolving around school and what they learned that week. Even though they were in the same room there was a distance between them.

By the end of April, as the homesickness-plagued nights diminished, she was spending fewer nights with Peeta. There were nights that she sensed it was actually Peeta who was sad or lonely, so she would come and spend the night just to keep him company.

They were never caught, though one afternoon she had walked in on Arden giving Peeta some kind of stern lecture. Her friend had looked rather dismayed and kept nodding as Arden spoke to him, but as soon as they both saw her they had shut up and said nothing more.

“Is something wrong?” she asked Peeta as they left the store. He was looking kind of nervous.

He shrugged and replied, “I don’t know exactly. He kept insisting that I behave myself and that I must always be sure to be a good friend to you.”

Katniss replied that that was silly, of course he was a good friend. Her _very best friend_ in fact. That made Peeta smile and the upsetting nature of his talk with the store manager was forgotten.

But on the week of her birthday, she'd sneaked over to spend the night and woke with a start.

“Wake up Peeta!” she said frantically. He glanced at his clock and then at the sunlight streaming in the window. He grew pale. They had slept in.

“Quick! Maybe Agnes isn’t up yet,” he whispered, but they both knew it wasn’t likely.

Katniss slipped out the window, barefoot with shoes in hand, and, with her usual cat-like stealth, tiptoed to the edge of the roof. She tossed the shoes out into the soft grass and then climbed down the porch post to the ground. Just as she was about to dart out and retrieve her shoes the kitchen door opened, so she ducked around the corner of the porch, hoping to not be seen.

Agnes walked out into the grass and stopped to ponder the ground. She stooped to pick up the shoes.

 _‘Oh no!’_ thought Katniss, realizing that Agnes must have seen the shoes sailing through the air from the window. She was going to have to head back to the boarding house in bare feet and wondered how she was going to explain having no shoes.

Then she heard Agnes whispering furtively, “Katniss? Katniss, don’t forget your shoes, dear.”

She stepped out— a sheepish expression on her face— and the cook held them out to her. Cautiously she reached out to take her shoes, worrying about what kind of consequence might be in store. Confined to her room? Or maybe even expelled from school? She felt her stomach twist with dismay.

But the corner of the cook’s mouth curled up in a sly smile. “Wait here just a moment,” she chirped quietly, scurried inside, and, when she returned from the kitchen, she winked and handed her a breakfast pastry.

“Better hurry before you're missed.”

Releasing a sigh of gratitude and a quick ‘thank you,’ Katniss ran around to the front of the McIntyre home and down the road that lead to the boarding house, eating the pastry as she went. But just as she thought she might make it in time, she saw Mrs. Carson standing on the front steps, her arms folded across her chest.

Katniss wasn’t sure if she’d be recognized this far away, but even at this distance she could tell the principal was looking in her direction. Katniss was formulating an excuse— how she’d gotten up for an early walk— when the woman shook her head, turned, and walked back inside without acknowledging her. Katniss stood for a brief moment, marveling at her good fortune, made her way to the corner of the building, and climbed in the window to her room.

Abby was already gone so she made her way quickly to the dining room and slipped into the seat beside her roommate. Abby’s eyes grew wide with relief.

“Oh Katniss,” she said gripping her arm. “Mrs. Carson was looking for you, but I told her you were just in the bathroom.”

Katniss thanked her and tied into her breakfast, her fears allayed when Mrs. Carson passed by their table without saying a word.

On the day of her ninth birthday, Papa came to town. Fortunately it fell on a Saturday so they could spend some time together without school to interfere. When she saw him approach, Katniss rushed down the steps of the General Store, where she and Peeta had been sitting, and threw her arms around him.

Once he’d unloaded his pack inside, Arden asked to have a few words with him.

They spoke in hushed voices, and Peeta asked, “I wonder what they’re talking about?”

Katniss couldn’t help remember her encounter with Agnes that morning last week. “Do you think he knows?” she whispered to Peeta.

He looked at her, his eyes wide, but he said nothing.

After a few minutes, they came from the back room and Arden said, “They’re good kids, and she means the world to us,” to which Papa smiled in reply, but he took her hand and led her to sit with him on the steps. He asked her if she was happy and liked being in school, and she told him about all the things she was learning. He asked if everyone treated her well, and if she was lonely or missed home, and Katniss paused to try to find the right words.

She said that she'd made some nice friends, especially her roommate, but she missed her family every day. She also told him how grateful she was that she at least had Peeta, because he was her best friend and when she got scared he made it all better.

Papa nodded, patted her on the knee, and got up to go back inside to complete his trading. They even shared a birthday cake that Peeta had made that morning, decorated with candles and icing katniss flowers.

When it was time to leave, Papa gave her a hug and said to her, “I’ll be back at the beginning of June. That’s only a month and then you’ll come home and get to see Mama, Logan and Violet again.”

“And Peeta, too,” Katniss added with a broad smile.

Papa looked over at Peeta, then back at her and said warmly, “Yes, we have a full summer ahead of us.”

“That’s for sure,” Arden replied. “And don’t worry, we’ll all take good care of her,” Arden assured him.

But the hug Papa gave her felt like he was reluctant to let go.

When the last day of school arrived, Abby embraced her and said with genuine affection that she couldn’t wait to see her again in December, and that she would insist they get to be roommates again somehow. That comforted Katniss as she had grown to trust her roommate because she had kept her secrets.

Papa spoke with Mrs. Carson about her school performance, and then the principal gave them some books and writing materials to take home with her to practice with until she returned to Cardinal in the new school year.

Next, they went to the McIntyre house to collect Peeta. While Peeta finished packing his things, the two fathers met privately in Mr. McIntyre’s study. When they came out they shook hands, and Peeta’s father turned to his son and told him to mind his manners and do whatever Papa and Mama instructed. Peeta assured him he would, and then, after an awkward moment, his father reached out to shake his son’s hand. It was so formal and strange for Katniss, but it was soon forgotten as they headed into the General Store to say goodbye to Arden and pick up a few supplies.

After some gruff warnings about how he’d come and personally deal with Peeta if he misbehaved or embarrassed them, Arden pulled him in a bear hug and told him to take care of himself, how it was only a couple of months, and how they’d be here if he needed them. It seemed to Katniss that the store manager was reassuring himself more than Peeta.

As they walked towards the edge of town, she followed Peeta’s eyes as he looked back at his house, and she saw Mr. McIntyre standing by the front door. As almost an afterthought, Peeta gave a small wave and his father did the same.

 

_Peeta_

Peeta felt a strange mixture of excitement and apprehension as they made their way through the forest. They stopped at Halfway Lake for a rest, and even took some time for Mr. Everdeen to do a little fishing while he and Katniss collected strawberries. He was reminded of doing this same thing last year when they had conspired to meet up here.

 _'Was it only a year ago?'_ he thought to himself. So much had happened since then that it felt like a lifetime ago.

When they finally arrived at the Everdeens' cabin Logan ran to meet them, and, as they approached, Peeta examined the modifications that had been made to the place. The cabin hardly resembled the one he'd seen before. He could see that the chimney had been fortified, and the back of the home had been enlarged so that the structure was half again as big as before. Glass-paned windows had been added as well.

They came around to the front and, where there had only been steps up to the door, there now existed a wide, covered porch along the entire front of the building. It had walls up as high as the first two feet, but the remainder was all screen, including the door. They entered the expanded space and looked around. Mr. Everdeen explained that this was where the two of them and Logan would sleep for the summer because it was cooled by the evening breezes and the bugs were kept out by the screen. Peeta noted the three pallet mattresses to one side.

When they entered the front door, they were greeted by Mrs. Everdeen who was holding the baby, Violet. Katniss immediately ran to embrace her mother and gave her little sister a kiss on the head. She eagerly pulled Peeta over so she could introduce him to the baby. Mrs. Everdeen was reserved, but she welcomed him and said that she hoped he would be comfortable staying with them. She said to ask if he needed anything.

Peeta scanned the interior. The back corner that had originally been comprised of the parents’ bedroom, was now a proper sitting room with a padded couch and chairs, supplementing the simple seating that had existed before. There were a couple more small cabinets with coal oil lamps. There was even a new rocking chair. Mr. and Mrs. Everdeen’s room was now located in the addition at the back, along with a nursery for Violet. Above him, he could see that floor boards had been placed across the span, creating a loft with a narrow ladder to reach it.

“That’s where Logan and I sleep in the colder months. The heat from the stove keeps it warm,” Katniss explained. “And it’s even got its own window,” she said, her eyes full of delight.

He nodded as he saw that a shed dormer had been added to the roof line, complete with the stated window. He felt a flush of warmth realizing that this had been done because of him. And his father, too. It made him smile and determined to make everyone proud.

The first night, as he lay listening to the crickets, he heard Katniss roll over on her side. He did the same so they could look at each other in the dim glow from the moonlight.

“Do you miss home?” she asked.

After some thought, he explained, “I feel really happy and comfortable here with you all.”

Though he wondered to himself about Arden and Agnes, and what a big deal they had made when he said goodbye to them. Then he thought about his father and the way he had looked when they left.

Finally, he said, “I guess I miss home a little, but it’s okay because we get to spend the whole summer together.”

Katniss seemed comforted by that, yawned, and said good night. Then she added, “I love you,” and this time he didn’t hesitate to say it back.

The first weeks with the Everdeens were filled with trips into the forest and lessons about all the things that could be found there. Peeta learned about identifying plants— which ones were edible, which ones could be used to treat sickness, and, importantly, which ones, like poison ivy, to avoid. It was a little confusing since many plants looked so similar.

Mr. Everdeen took the three children to check his line of snares, making sure Peeta knew how to spot them so he wouldn't trip them by accident and get hurt. He showed him how he made them, too. He pointed out burrows that might hide dangerous animals and instructed Peeta to keep a close eye out for snakes that could surprise them in the rocks and grass as they walked.

Some of the time was spent learning how to use a bow. Peeta was frustrated by how bad he was at first, but he was so filled with admiration for how good Mr. Everdeen and Logan were, and Katniss most of all, that he didn’t let it get to him. Katniss’s father assured him it would just take practice.

Other time was spent helping around the home with chores, such as collecting wood from the forest for their wood stove. The smaller branches were gathered into piles for kindling, and the larger ones her father cut up and split. Some wood was specially collected to use in their smoke house for preserving meat since certain varieties imparted the right aromatic flavor.

Mrs. Everdeen explained how she tanned hides and described the medicinal plants they collected in more detail. During evenings, he and Katniss would practice their reading along with some math. They taught Logan the alphabet, and Peeta drew pictures to hang beside Violet’s crib, which everyone insisted she loved, even though she seemed more interested in chewing on them.

They showed Peeta how they preserved the meat that they hunted. Venison, wild fowl, and fish were cured, smoked, and aged, depending on what they wanted to make, such as hams or jerky. It was a complicated procedure, and, though Peeta knew Agnes and others in town did similar things, they had large refrigerators and electricity to aid them. When Peeta mentioned it to Mr. Everdeen, he laughed and said he’d had all his life to learn these things, so it was okay if he found it confusing after only a couple of weeks.

On the third week, after days of practice with the bow, Mr. Everdeen said it was time to head out and try some real hunting. Peeta knew he was nowhere near good enough to hit anything, but he was excited to join Katniss, Logan, and her father to see how it was done.

After a couple of hours, Mr. Everdeen signaled to the right. A young deer was munching on some leaves. He silently indicated for the three kids to approach, and he drew an arrow as they crept up behind him.

“Shhh,” Katniss whispered as the grass and leaves crunched under his feet.

But a dry twig snapped and the deer looked up in alarm. It bounded off into the woods. When all eyes turned on him, Peeta cringed, and even Katniss scrunched up her face in consternation.

Mr. Everdeen sighed and put his hand on his shoulder and guided him to sit down on a fallen log beside him. “Son, I’m thinking stealth may not be your thing.”

He declared that maybe Peeta was going to need to use a different technique to hunt. Even though he'd done his best, Peeta was embarrassed that he couldn’t walk as silently as the Everdeens.

“Come here,” Mr. Everdeen said. “I want to show you something that might be better fit for you. Maybe camouflage is more your style.”

He proceeded to gather large branches from a variety of trees. He wove bare limbs into a framework and covered them with evergreen and leaf-covered branches, making a sort of shelter. “This is called a ‘blind,' it helps you hide from the game. This way, you can just remain still and let them come to you.”

The two of them crawled inside the small structure and Katniss’s father showed him how to use the small gaps to spy outside and point his arrow through the openings.

After they reached the river that he and Katniss had crossed last summer during the storm, Mr. Everdeen reached down and picked up a handful of mud and smeared it on his arm demonstrating how it could be used to better cover his fair skin, and hair, too, if necessary. He said the forest was full of things like juices from berries that could also be used to help disappear into the background. “You’re pretty good at drawing, I bet you’d be excellent at that.”

It made Peeta feel better and less disappointed that he wasn’t as good at sneaking up on prey.

As the summer wore on, and the days and nights became hotter, Peeta appreciated how much more comfortable it was to sleep out in the porch. It was also nice to spend those quiet times near Katniss, sometimes whispering about their adventures. The sense of closeness between the Everdeens during the day seemed to reach out and envelop him, too.

Even Mrs. Everdeen seemed to warm up to him. When he offered to help when she was making bread with some of the flour they’d bought in town, she had seemed pleased. He added some dried fruit and nuts to it as well— just like he’d learned baking with Agnes. When it came out of their stove, she gave it a whiff and smiled her approval. He noticed with satisfaction that she helped herself to two more slices as the meal went on.

One afternoon in the middle of July, Logan asked if tomorrow they could go to Shelter Lake on their own since Mr. Everdeen was busy preparing meat for the smoke house. He agreed, but told them to not stay too late into the afternoon and to check the trapline on their way. They loaded up with some food and their bows, in case something crossed their paths, and struck out early the next morning.

Peeta thought that the small lake in the hidden valley was a lovely spot, but when Katniss told him the story behind the cement house and her mother’s family, he was saddened because it had a connection to his family and Cardinal. He endeavored to be more understanding around Katniss’s mother after that.

Once they’d eaten lunch, Logan declared they should go swimming. The brother and sister stripped down to their underwear and, without hesitation, jumped from a small rocky ledge into the lake. The water did look inviting, and the day was hot, but Peeta was frozen in his spot.

When Katniss called for him to join them, he blurted out, “I can’t swim.”

It was true, but the carefree, near-nakedness was what initially startled him. It wasn’t the way his family behaved. He remembered last summer and his awkwardness when changing out of his wet clothes, and how it had been this summer staying with the Everdeens. It occurred to him that it just wasn't an issue for them.

“We can teach you,” Katniss encouraged.

She seemed delighted anytime there was something she could teach him after the past spring at school. He decided that making a big deal about the clothes was silly. This wasn’t Cardinal. It was similar to how Katniss would spend the night with him sometimes. It was simply the way they lived, he reminded himself.

He got undressed and made his way toward the stone ledge, dipped his foot in the water, and then slid down up to his waist. Both Logan and Katniss paddled back and gave some instruction— first how to float, then some easy strokes. Within a half hour, he’d forgotten about the clothing issue and was so focused on the swimming and the splashing and all the laughing, that he no longer cared about it.

After a couple of hours, Katniss assured Peeta that by the end of the summer he would be just as good a swimmer as they were. While Logan got out to dry off, Katniss indicated for Peeta to follow her over to the far edge of the small lake. Though the water was shallower here, the ground was soft and difficult to walk in, which was a bit unsettling. But Katniss just floated gracefully over to a patch of water plants. She pointed out some flowers. She wanted to show him actual katniss plants he realized, and gave her a smile. She loosened up a few and collected the tubers to take home with them.

They lay on the stone ledge, which had been warmed from the sun’s rays, and let the heat soak into their bodies after being in the cool water. It was so comfortable he almost fell asleep, but Katniss nudged him, suggesting he should put on his shirt because he was getting a little pink. His fair skin didn’t seem to tolerate the sunlight as well as their darker, olive-toned skin. When the afternoon sun began to sink below the trees at the edge of the clearing, they gathered their things and headed for home, checking their snares on the way.

The last week before he was to return home, he and Katniss were sitting out in the shade in front of the porch reading aloud together. Meanwhile, the others listened, enjoying a restful afternoon. Violet was sitting on a blanket and when Peeta would read in a funny voice she would gurgle and laugh. Everyone made a big deal about how she was going to miss him. It made him happy.

“Someone’s coming,” Logan announced and pointed to the edge of the woods.

A man, along with a boy who was a few years older than Peeta and Katniss, came up to their porch, looking distressed. The man was their nearest neighbour and his youngest child, a boy of only three, had gone missing. They’d been looking all afternoon, expanding their search in all directions. Mr. Everdeen immediately grabbed his bow and Katniss did, too.

“We don’t have a lot of daylight hours left,” Katniss’s father said and the two men laid out a plan for searching. When they set out to look for the little boy, Katniss and Peeta joined Mr. Everdeen, while Logan joined the man and his son.

They arrived at the river and began to follow it in the direction of Shelter Lake. And then Mr. Everdeen began to sing. Peeta was curious and asked why. Katniss said that a singing voice carried well. Her father explained that sometimes yelling and calling out could sound scary to a child, and they might actually hide, or be afraid of getting in trouble for going missing.

He said that by singing, it gave them the chance to come and find the searcher. Peeta remembered the day that he and Katniss had been caught in the storm. And he remembered how happy and relieved they’d been when they’d heard his voice.

It made him think of Katniss’s pretty voice that he had loved since the first day they'd met, and her father’s rich tones. How joyful it had felt that first night he'd spent with them last summer, listening to Mr. Everdeen’s fiddle and the songs they'd sung together. He also remembered his mother’s singing and was a little sad that he hadn’t inherited a voice as nice. As they walked through the woods, despite the urgency of the search, he felt a strange tranquility as the melody accompanied them.

They found the little boy just as it was reaching the twilight hour. He came out from behind a rocky outcropping, wiping his tear-stained face. The walk back was in the dark, but the moonlight and their familiarity with the forest helped them find their way. The little boy was safely reunited with his family.

That night as they settled into their beds in the porch room, Peeta couldn’t help but think about the day and the summer at large. It was more than just how vast and intimidating the forest could be with all its wonders and dangers. He kept coming back to Mr. Everdeen and the singing. His thoughts were of his mother, too, how Arden had said she had a voice like an angel. Even his brothers with their sneering jabs had talked about how it had won over his father.

“What are you thinking about?” Katniss whispered next to him, trying not to disturb Logan.

“Just about that little boy today,” he answered. But something else needed to be said, and, though he wasn’t exactly sure what it was, he knew it had something do with Katniss. She seemed to read his thoughts.

“If you were lost I’d come looking for you,” Katniss declared.

”Even if I was hiding? I’m pretty good at that, you know,” Peeta replied giving her a teasing grin.

Katniss smiled back. “Then I’d let you find me,” she answered. “I’d sing, just like Papa.”

Peeta added, “I would just follow your song.”

“Promise?”

“I promise,” Peeta replied. “I’d find you somehow.”

And with that, sleep finally settled in, and that night for some reason Peeta dreamed of his parents.

The day inevitably arrived to return to Cardinal, and for Peeta it was a bittersweet goodbye. He’d learned so much and had enjoyed spending all those weeks with the Everdeens, and with Katniss especially. He’d been integral in their day-to-day activities and had felt like he belonged in a way he didn’t back home.

Katniss promised to accompany her father later in the fall when he came to trade, but it would be months before she returned to school, because she needed to save up for her room and board, according to their agreement.

She joined them on the hike back to Cardinal, convincing her father to detour to Shelter Lake for the night. It was a special place, and Peeta made note to try and remember the landmarks that lead there as they followed the ridges and valleys that lead back to town.

They reached Cardinal and made their way toward the General Store, but before they reached the steps Arden came down to meet them.

“Welcome home,” he said warmly and gave Peeta’s shoulders a squeeze. “It’s good to have you back. Hasn’t been the same without you getting under foot.”

There seemed to be some kind of construction activity going on adjacent to the store. When Katniss pointed it out, Arden said that there were some changes coming.

“Don’t worry,” he said to Mr. Everdeen. “Actually this could be good for you, too. More businesses to trade with, among other things. They’re starting with a fresh produce store, with harvest underway.”

“What does that mean for you?” Katniss’s father asked.

“Hopefully a comfortable retirement some day,” Arden chuckled.

Arden nodded toward the McIntyre house and said to Peeta, “Well you better go get resettled. Agnes has been cooking and baking in anticipation of you getting home. You’d better all have brought appetites. And I know your father is going to want a full report of your activities, too.”

As they all walked toward his home, Peeta’s head was full of questions about what changes were in store for them all.


	11. Changes

**Chapter Ten - Changes**

_Peeta_

Changes. There had been a lot of them, Peeta realized, as he walked behind Katniss along the trail to Shelter Lake. Some had happened gradually, slipping in with stealth like Katniss’s footsteps, while others had announced themselves like the whistle at the mines signalling the end of the shift.

At fourteen years of age, and as he spent his sixth summer with the Everdeens, he was comforted that at least some things didn’t seem to change. One of them was his friendship with Katniss. It gave him a sense of stability in a world that seemed to be increasingly unpredictable.

In the nine years since a little girl with beautiful anthracite eyes, like a heroine from one of his story books, had first walked into Arden’s store and left a katniss flower for him, she had been a constant like the constellations. Sure they moved and changed in their position in the night sky, but at their core they remained faithful and reliable. Her coming to Cardinal to attend school, and his spending the two months of summer with her family, had given his life a steadfast and dependable rhythm.

Katniss’s truncated school year proved to be a challenge for her with each year demanding more effort and occupying more of her free time. Peeta’s father had offered to cover all the costs, allowing her to attend year-round. He’d even extended the offer to Logan, though her brother had declined. Between the idea of leaving the forest to live in the coal-dusted town and the help he got from his sister, and from Peeta when he was with them, it was enough, Logan said.

Father had tried to explain to Mr. Everdeen that they were more than fulfilling their obligation to him and his son, but they were proud and, as expected, wouldn’t hear of it. The Everdeens would not accept charity, even if it was well disguised. So Katniss made the best of it, attending only for the latter portion of the school year. She was smart, and the tutoring coupled with her diligence helped her to succeed.

When Peeta came home from that first summer away and had seen the new stores being built, he realized that Cardinal was transforming. Ever since his father had started paying workers in Capitol currency instead of store credit, freeing up everyone to trade and do business as they chose, it had spurred on some people to take a chance and try their hand at opening their own shops.

People seemed optimistic as they exchanged money for goods and services as they saw fit, neighbors supporting neighbors. Even if most still toiled in the mines, they saw a hope for their children to chose a life for themselves beyond the mines if they wanted.

But not everyone was completely happy with the changes.

“I don’t like this tax we have to pay,” grumbled a farmer while paying Arden for fertilizer.

He was one of several ex-miners who had taken on the responsibility for growing the crops and tending the orchard on the outskirts of town. “McIntyre is just lining his pockets and leaving us to take the risk and do all the work.”

Arden’s General Store, while it maintained a smaller inventory now, still remained of central importance to the town, providing the necessary goods the local businesses needed to function, such as fabrics for their tailor from District 8, lumber for construction and woodworking from District 7, fertilizers for farming from District 3, or specialized tools and machinery from District 6.

Arden had snapped back, “It’s no different than what the Capitol demands of him. Every district is required to compensate them for the access to the rest of the industries and the markets in Panem, for infrastructure, and for the trains that make it possible. Besides, he owns the land you're farming to produce what you sell— and at a profit, I might add. Plus the land you're standing on for this shop and all the others in town. Not to mention providing the school your kids attend, and the policing…”

It seemed fair to Peeta, the way Arden explained it. His father received income from the coal produced by the mines, along with the revenue he collected from Cardinal’s businesses, and in turn he paid fees to the Capitol in exchange for being a part of the Panem alliance. The Capitol referred to is as ‘paying tribute’, and it was non-negotiable.

But Peeta also understood the shop owners. They were free to trade, but not in the way the Everdeens were, since so much was still owned by his family. It was difficult to imagine how any of them could ever hope to achieve the wealth that his father maintained. He brought it up with Arden, how some people said his tactics were just a way of protecting the financial fortunes and power of the McIntyres. Which meant Billy, Genny and Russell.

“He’s doing it for you, too, you know,” Arden told him.

Peeta had looked at him questioningly, “For me? How?”

Arden continued, “One day, when you decide what you want to do for a living, maybe you open your own business. You’ll be largely independent of the town’s authority. You’ll be free from having to answer to your siblings.”

It also hadn’t escaped those siblings’ notice either, leading them to question the shift in economic policy.

“Why are you doing this?” Russell had demanded of their father over breakfast. “You’re giving away what Mother intended for us to have. It’s our legacy— all these businesses should be under our control.”

William McIntyre had remained impassive at the accusation, replying that if Cardinal became economically irrelevant within Panem, it wouldn’t matter how much control over the district they had.

When Billy came home for a visit the spring Peeta and Katniss turned eleven, his oldest brother confirmed the rumors that Genny had ferreted out from her sources within other districts. And it finally explained his father’s decisions.

It was now official that there were projects underway for the expansion of alternate power generation— hydro in District 5 and nuclear in District 13. Coal would continue to be important in steel production and manufacturing, but he could see a time when Cardinal would fade in importance while other districts flourished. His father had replied that the more diversified they were, the stronger Cardinal would be. Releasing control over local trade freed them up to pursue alternative industries to keep District 12 important and indispensable in Panem.

Which had lead to a joint venture with District 3. With their advances in technology, his father saw an opportunity to utilize their science to expand Cardinal’s economy. It was costly, with the McIntyres shouldering the majority of the cost, and it would take years to fully bring to fruition. It was agreed that a generous percentage of the eventual profits would go to the developers in District 3 in addition to the payments they would receive for their research. But if the scheme paid off, Cardinal would remain in the forefront in Panem.

The following spring, as the family gathered for Sunday dinner with Katniss as their guest, his father had mentioned to her his interest in her mother’s work. He explained that they were investigating the healing properties of several of the plants she used— the same ones in Arden’s healing plant book.

District 3 had been making big advances in bio-technology and they had begun experimenting with improving the efficacy of the simple plants and herbs found in their district. It was still in research, but it was advanced enough now that he was going to build a facility that summer to begin production right here in Cardinal. It sounded promising, but risky, since all the cost of the factory would be borne by him.

Cardinal wasn’t the only thing that was changing. Even here in the forest his relationship with the Everdeens had evolved, or, more specifically, the one with Katniss’s mother. Mrs. Everdeen had been welcoming and polite, though Peeta had suspected she still harbored a degree of suspicion where he and his family were concerned. There was only so much that could be accomplished with baking her favorite things, he realized, though that had been a help at breaking the ice. But that all changed the third summer he'd spent with Katniss's family when they were eleven.

He, Katniss, and Logan had been assisting Mr. Everdeen drag home long limbs of hickory wood for their smoke house. Violet, then two and a half, had whined and cried, begging to come with them until her mother had relented under the condition that the older kids would watch out for her.

When the telltale warning of the rattlesnake, barely concealed behind a pile of rocks next to where Violet played, caused them all to turn in alarm, Peeta had been the closest. Without hesitation he had grabbed Violet away from the coiled reptile, whose rattle had drawn her curiosity.

The toddler had been spared, but not before the fangs had struck Peeta in the forearm. The pain had been immediate, but the panic that followed was worse. Logan ran to get his mother while Katniss and her father stayed by his side, telling him to lie down and not move.

Later, as he lay on his pallet mattress, he held on to the sound of Mrs. Everdeen’s voice as she worked, and he had marvelled at the skill with which she had attended to him. She demanded to know what kind of snake it had been and it’s size while she had thoroughly cleaned the wound site. Next, she wrapped a wide bandage around his arm above the wound.

“To slow the blood flow, not stop it,” she'd explained. “If there’s any venom, this will help.”

“Is Peeta going to die?” Logan had blurted out, and she curtly ordered him to go help his father with Violet who was still whimpering after the ordeal.

She had reassured Peeta, “You’re not going to die. There isn’t too much swelling, and the snake was a young one from its size. But I need you to lie very still and keep your arm at your side, while I watch for any sign of infection or tissue damage.”

It helped him to remain calm, trusting in her experience as a healer. She'd stayed by his side all night. So did Katniss, concern written across her face, though sleep eventually overtook her as she lay curled up beside him. Mrs. Everdeen’s quiet competence as she continued to monitor the site of the wound and his symptoms had enabled him to eventually fall sleep, too, despite his anxiety and the discomfort.

The next day, Mrs. Everdeen had declared that he was going to be fine, that it appeared to have been a ‘dry bite’ with little to no venom. But as a precaution, she had him spend a quiet day near her side. That night, when she came out to the porch to kiss Logan and Katniss goodnight, she had stopped beside his pallet and stroked his forehead and smiled. It reminded him of how much he missed his mother doing that.

And then she leaned down and whispered, "Thank you," before kissing him goodnight, too.

Peeta felt a shift in their relationship, and from then on he became aware of her acceptance of him into the family. A few weeks later, when it was time to return to Cardinal, she'd embraced him and said that she would miss him.

Peeta discovered that he wasn't the only one who'd experienced some personal changes. While the economic transformation had been foremost for Cardinal, the arrival of Dr. Justin Donner had been of particular significance to his sister, Genny.

“Billy has found a recently graduated medical doctor from the Capitol who has expressed interest in the implementation of our business venture here in Cardinal,” his father explained.

Land had been set aside for growing the first plants that the District 3 scientists and Father had chosen to research. There were workers willing to train in the manufacturing of their new, experimental medicines. But they needed a physician to oversee the implementation of production and monitor the effectiveness.

Cardinal’s only doctor, an elderly man with limited training and in poor health himself, was no longer able to meet the demands of the growing town. The side benefit of having a doctor trained in the latest medical technology here in District 12 was obvious, and it was clear Father hoped that Dr. Donner would be willing to stay beyond the implementation stage.

Genny had turned nineteen that year, and their father put her in charge of welcoming their new prospective resident, giving her the task of persuading him to accept the job on a permanent basis.

By the time Peeta returned from his fourth summer with the Everdeens, the new factory was up and running. Genny assisted with the management of the facility along with the medical clinic when she wasn't traveling on district business.

One evening in October, Peeta had cut his hand while helping Agnes in the kitchen. She'd wrapped it in a towel and told him that to be on the safe side he should go check with Dr. Donner to see whether it needed stitches or not.

As expected, the clinic was dark at that hour, but the door was unlocked so he went inside. There was a bell to ring for emergencies that rang in the doctor’s residence upstairs, but Peeta saw that a light was on in the back room used for examinations. The door was slightly ajar and he could hear voices coming from the room. He walked to the back and went to knock on the door when he caught sight of the two of them.

He stumbled back from the door as fast as he could. Because his sister and the young doctor were tangled in a passionate embrace, clothing strewn about them, right there on the examining table. The image of the two of them, and the sounds of their expressed pleasure at what was transpiring, were forever burned into his twelve-year-old brain.

In his haste, he couldn’t conceal the sound of his noisy retreat, and cringed at his inability to move quietly, even outside the forest. His hand injury forgotten for the moment, he exited the front door and was quickly making his way back to the house, when Genny came running out after him.

“Wait!” she called, and when he stopped and turned he wasn’t sure who was more embarrassed. She was still straightening her clothes, then realized the buttons on her blouse were misaligned, and she started laughing. Peeta couldn’t help but join her.

“Well I guess it was bound to come out sometime,” she sighed. “But can we keep this between us, just for now? At least until I can properly inform Father?”

He promised he would. Frankly, the thought of even discussing what he had seen and heard was unsettling anyway. She dragged him back to the clinic, and Dr. Donner eventually sent him away with just a bandage, since the cut wasn’t deep enough to warrant stitches. Genny and Justin were very professional throughout, though Peeta noticed everyone remained awkwardly silent.

The next morning, over breakfast, Peeta couldn’t help but notice Genny as she ate. The barely concealed smile on her face made her look like she was glowing. When Russell asked her a question, she was so lost in thought, she didn’t respond.

It didn’t escape their father’s notice. His commanding voice snapped her out of her reverie, as they were all leaving for their day’s activities. “Eugenia, a word please,” he said. Peeta exchanged a concerned glance with his sister, and hung back slightly as Russell exited the dining room in front of him. “Whatever it is going on with Justin Donner. Tell me, are you doing this because you think it’s necessary for Cardinal?”

She'd paused, then responded, “It is good for the town to have an actual Capitol-trained doctor here, but it’s more than that. I love him.”

Father had nodded and then said, “Well, then. That’s what matters most, I suppose.”

It was such a curiously sentimental statement coming out of his father’s mouth, and he wished that Katniss had been there to discuss it with him.

By the following spring, the year Peeta turned thirteen, it was revealed that Dr. Donner had indeed agreed to stay, and a wedding date was announced for the beginning of June. Genny’s usual reserved manner had been replaced with a happiness he hadn’t seen before. Agnes had gushed that she was the most beautiful bride with her father’s blond hair and blue eyes and her mother’s statuesque bearing. Just one look at the beaming groom and it was obvious that Dr. Justin Donner had fallen for her, too.

It may be good for Cardinal, Peeta thought, but it was clear that it was a change for the better for Genny as well.

By the beginning of winter, just before the snows arrived, Katniss had returned to Cardinal, as usual. Now almost fourteen, they were both busier than ever. When she wasn’t occupied with tutoring and studying to make up for lost time, Katniss attended choir practice at the church along with Abby. She loved being able to use her voice, reveling at the sound of so many voices harmonizing together. When she sang her first solo it made Peeta think of his mother, and, while he couldn’t take his eyes off Katniss— a proud smile plastered on his face— he'd wondered, if he turned around, if he’d see his father standing there.

Peeta found much of his free time occupied as well. Danny’s older sister Clara and her husband Garnett had opened a bakery. Clara was one of Genny’s closest friends, and at Genny and Danny’s encouragement, he had begun working afternoons in their shop. Agnes had complained with a smirk that she was sorely inconvenienced.

He hated that it took time away from Katniss, but with her schedule keeping her occupied anyway, and Arden’s insistence that he should start to think about what he wanted to do for a profession, he decided to give it a try.

“But what if I do decide I want to be a baker?” he asked Clara one day. “Won’t we be in competition?”

“I doubt we’ll ever stand a chance against your talent for decoration. Maybe we can be partners? That might work for all of us,” his sister’s friend had replied.

That satisfied Peeta for now, but other thoughts troubled him, too, when he considered the future. The more time he spent in the woods with the Everdeens, and knowing that Katniss was also unsure about where she would want to eventually live, kept everything up in the air. The thought of the day that he might lose her friendship filled him with distress. There was always a sense of time running out.

The long autumn separation, and the eventual end to her stays in Cardinal and his sojourns with her family over the summers, loomed heavily. He walked her home from choir practice one evening and asked her what would happen.

“Nothing,” she had reassured him, “We’re always going to be friends.” He was relieved to hear her say it.

But their busy schedules made it difficult to find as much time to be alone together. They didn’t spend as many nights together anymore. Katniss no longer felt afraid. She had Abby’s supportive friendship, and Cardinal had lost its strangeness for her. But sometimes she would sneak over, just so that she could have some quiet time with him. She said that on some days it was the only way to talk a little about things that were happening around them.

The last couple of months with the Everdeens had been busy as well. He and Katniss hadn’t spent any time together at the lake with the cement house this summer. Peeta had become a bit of an expert with building and maintaining the fires for their smoke house at just the right temperature, so while he’d helped Mr. Everdeen with the gathering and splitting of the wood and the smoking, Katniss and Logan had tended the trapline on the way to the lake. They'd also used the time to teach their little sister to swim.

Because Violet was now five, Peeta had volunteered to join Mr. Everdeen when he took her on her first trip to Cardinal to trade, while the other two Everdeen children took care of chores at home. Violet had been the focus for all of them, it had been fun watching her grow up and learn new things.

But today was his second to last day with the Everdeens, and both he and Katniss missed the place at the lake. Because the day was hot and they'd worked hard all summer, it had been decided that a trip to Shelter Lake was a deserved break. As he walked behind Katniss, he reviewed the things that hadn’t changed. He smiled at how silent she still was. They'd both grown and changed over the five years he'd been coming here, but it hadn’t affected the grace with which she moved through the forest. He imagined the ground was barely aware of her passage. He couldn’t help but admire the strong but delicate line of her arms and legs, willowy but sure, as she moved so effortlessly down the trail.

Her head darted quickly to the right and he turned just in time to see a rabbit bound into the underbrush. Katniss turned to look at him, a scowl on her face, but he knew she was teasing because she couldn’t help smile as she shook her head.

Another thing that hadn’t changed, Peeta chided himself. Fortunately this wasn’t a hunting trip. Katniss’s game bag was filled with supplies for the cement house and she carried a fishing rod, not her bow. Despite the fact that he’d never mastered the skill of silent tread, this being the sixth summer with the Everdeens, he had grown confident in his other woodland skills.

As Katniss’s head turned back to the path, he watched the gentle sway of her single braid down the length of her back, covering the spot where her thin shirt stuck to her skin due to the humidity and exertion of the hike. She’d started wearing it that way this spring, and he envisioned all the times where it would swing over her shoulder as she twirled around when she spotted prey, and how the loose strands would frame her face.

 _She’s so pretty_ , he thought as he followed behind her. He made a note to remember how she looked today so he could sketch it later tonight back at their house.

When they reached the lake, the day was reaching the zenith of heat, and the humidity hung heavily in the air due to the high stone walls that surrounded them, blocking much of the breeze. Without a second thought, Peeta dropped his backpack to the ground, stripped down as usual to his underwear, and, with a whoop, dove into the cool water. With renewed energy he began to swim confidently out to the center of the lake.

 

_Katniss_

Katniss stood on the shoreline, her game bag beside her and her hands reaching for the buttons on her shirt, when she was stopped short by the sight before her.

She watched as Peeta swam out toward the middle of the lake. She couldn’t help notice the ripple of muscles across his shoulders, broader than she remembered, and the lean, sinewy arms as they moved through the water. He still had the lanky look of adolescence, but there was the hint of something more that she hadn’t noticed before. When he stopped and turned to face her, treading water, she became acutely aware of just how hot the day was.

“Come on in, it’s great!” he called with a grin, but she swallowed and remained speechless as she admired the droplets of water that fell from the stands of wavy blond hair. The bright blue of his eyes and the whiteness of his teeth seemed exaggerated by the skin, which was usually so fair but had taken on a tan due to all the hours outdoors this past couple of months. He watched her with an inquisitive expression as she stood fixed in her spot.

“Is something wrong?” he asked, and he looked like he might start to make his way back to the rock ledge.

“No,” she insisted, and began to unbraid her hair. With the task complete, she removed her pants, and started to unbutton her shirt. Peeta wasn’t the only one who had changed this past year, and, for the first time, it made her self-conscious. She had laughed the summer his voice had started to change, but up until now the changes she'd been experiencing were not as perceivable, at least when fully dressed.

She was perplexed by her sudden wave of modesty. It was just Peeta, she reminded herself. He was her best friend and they’d been swimming together here for years, along with Logan, Violet and Papa. She was suddenly grateful for how her long, dark hair fell over her small breasts, how it provided her with at least a little coverage. And she was worried about giving away any indication of her discomfort for some reason, that she might reveal her state of mind or upset Peeta. What would he make of it if he knew, she wondered.

He began to swim back towards the shallows, but Katniss made her way quickly into the water and swam out to meet him. It felt safer out here, concealed by the water. He stopped a few feet away and stretched down so that his foot touched a stone on the bottom. He’d gotten taller, too, she realized, treading water nearby as there was no way she could touch bottom here.

She was a strong swimmer, but her agitation was making her feel breathless for some reason. Peeta seemed to sense it because he held out an arm for her to take ahold of. When she did, she was able to float her body motionless except for the lazy flutter of her free arm over the surface to maintain her place. He looked at her curiously as if trying to decipher her thoughts, and she found herself fixated on the sun-freckles across his nose and cheeks.

And then an overwhelming impulse came over her, and she gave a light kick of her legs and swept in to kiss him. It was just a faint brush of lips against lips, as light and fleeting as a butterfly, but his eyes grew wide with surprise as if he’d come in contact with something much more profound.

Startled by her spontaneity, Katniss quickly pushed away and swam to shore, and, with even more haste, ran to retrieve her clothes. She struggled into her clothing even though they clung to her still wet body, her heart pounding just like that rabbit’s she’d spotted on the trail.

“Hey,” Peeta called after her, and within moments came to join her. She found it hard to look at him and pretended to be busy re-braiding her hair. She could feel his eyes on her back and, without turning to look at him, she said, “We should unpack the supplies first, restock the house for Papa, then maybe do some fishing before it gets any hotter.”

When she thought it was safe, she turned around and saw that he had put on his pants and was drying off his face on his shirt before slipping it over his head. He was still looking at her, his brow furrowed. With disgust? Worry? Katniss’s stomach felt a little queazy, and she wondered, _‘Did I just ruin everything?’_

“Okay,” Peeta replied quietly, but instead of unpacking anything, he sat down on the rock, his knees drawn up and his forearms resting on them. She left her game bag untouched and joined him, and they sat, side-by-side, staring out over the water, sparkling in the sunlight. She was waiting for him to say or do something. Anything to let her know that everything was still okay between them.

When he finally turned to face her he looked serious, but something else flickered in his eyes. A curious kind of expression. And then, his eyes darting between her eyes and lips, he leaned closer, but he stopped halfway, as if giving an invitation.

Katniss mirrored his movement, and then Peeta closed the remaining gap. This time when they kissed it was slow and soft. It was tentative at first, but then more deliberate. It was so nice even if it made her feel a little faint. As she released the breath she had been anxiously holding, Katniss fluctuated between feeling the relief for Peeta’s reciprocation and the excitement stirring in her chest at this new sensation.

When they pulled apart and looked at each other, they both smiled. It made a shiver run through her, one she knew didn’t have anything to do with the temperature on such a warm day.

Peeta lay back on the warm stone and she stretched out on her back beside him, neither of them saying a word. But an understanding passed between them. When Peeta reached across the narrow distance between them to slip his hand into hers, their fingers entwined, and she clung to it and closed her eyes, soaking up the soothing warmth, savoring the memory of the kiss.

Soon, their stomachs began to growl. Katniss got up, and, following her lead, Peeta picked up his pack and they made their way to the cement house. She reached into her bag and took out several kinds of jerky, dried fruit and matches, to replenish the supplies. Meanwhile, Peeta brought in kindling and split wood, and piled it up beside the fireplace to stay dry for the coming fall. As Katniss unpacked some food for their lunch, she looked over to see Peeta staring out the glassless window facing the lake.

“We should fix up this place,” he said, and then he turned to gaze at her. She nodded and flushed a little when contemplating his face. When she remained quiet, he added, “It’s nice here. It just seems a shame to see it so… forgotten.”

All Katniss could think was there was no way she was going to forget this place after today. Everything felt different, full of new possibilities and expectations.

 

_Peeta_

As they hiked back to the Everdeens’ home later that afternoon— Peeta in the lead this time— he could feel Katniss’s eyes on his back as he walked. It wasn’t unusual for them to not talk. It had become a habit as they moved through the forest, even though they weren’t hunting. They stopped along the way to check the snares, but they were empty today.

Yes, he thought to himself, there had been a lot of changes the past few years. In a life ever transforming, it was comforting that one thing had remained unchanged, immutable.

He loved his best friend, Katniss Everdeen.

But today he’d stepped over a threshold, and it was both frightening and exhilarating. Because one thing _had_ changed irrevocably.

More than anything else, he was _in love_ with Katniss Everdeen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We've reached the end of PART 1 - Best Friends. Next up: PART 2 - Lovers


	12. Lessons in Love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PART 2 - Lovers

**Chapter 11 - Lessons in Love**

_Katniss_

After changing out of her hunting clothes one afternoon in late November, Katniss made her way down from the loft that she shared with Violet. Logan now occupied his little sister’s old room downstairs. It was a sacrifice giving up his spot in the cozy loft, warmed by the heat from the wood stove during the chilly months, but he’d just shrugged it off with a smile when his sisters had thanked him.

Outside, Katniss could hear the chop of the ax as Papa cut wood for the fire while Logan hauled and stacked it under the eaves. Violet remained upstairs in the loft drawing with the paper and colored pencils that Peeta had given her the past summer. Mama was busy preparing a stew from the rabbit that she had shot with her bow earlier that day.

Everyone was occupied, but Katniss sat idly at the table, the rabbit skin scraped clean awaiting her further attention. She watched as her mother added some herbs into the large pot, lost in her thoughts. She felt all energy seep out despite the time of day, tired from another restless night. Katniss sucked in a deep breath, and, as she released it, it came with a shiver.

That kiss. How could something so wonderful be so perplexing at the same time? There hadn’t been a day since that trip to the lake that it hadn’t occupied her thoughts. Up until now, her friendship with Peeta had been so much simpler and uncomplicated, and she'd taken for granted that it would always remain that way. Maybe it was a part of growing up, suddenly being unable to simply live in the moment. Because now she couldn't help dwelling on the future and what it held.

The kiss and missing Peeta so much since he'd left had awakened her to the fact that one day they would have to make a choice. Would Peeta be willing to leave Cardinal to be with her? Could she ever leave her family to live in the coal-dusted town with him? It seemed to be an unsolvable dilemma.

While the idea of separation from her family made her sad, the thought of being apart from Peeta made her ache. And underneath that was another, different ache, a kind of emptiness that she was only beginning to comprehend. It made her heart race and left her flushed despite the pre-winter frost. It occupied her dreams at night and distracted her during the days.

As she pondered these things, her mother’s voice sounded dim in the outer reaches of her consciousness, but hearing Peeta’s name drew her attention.

“I’m sorry Mama, what did you say?” she answered, embarrassed for being caught in her daydream.

Her mother regarded her with a furrowed brow, and, putting down her mixing bowl, she repeated her question. “Could you tend the fire for me and watch the stew while I make some bread? I was wondering if we should make the kind Peeta made last summer.”

Katniss nodded and without a word went to work building up the fire in the wood stove. When her mother didn’t resume her work, Katniss looked up.

“Tell me what’s wrong, Katniss. You look so far away,” Mama said.

Katniss paused, sensing that she was under scrutiny and feeling exposed. But she had questions that needed answering.

“How did you know Papa was the one?” she asked.

Just then, her father breezed in and stole a quick kiss from her mother. She pretended to scowl. “You’re filthy, and you’re getting it in the flour!” Mama complained and slapped him away with a light swat. “Now get out, Katniss and I are having a talk. Girls only.”

He raised his eyebrows, and said, “Is that so?”

Then he laughed and headed back outside, but not before snagging some dried fruit for himself and Logan from the shelf behind her, and stealing one more kiss.

“Well, right now, I’m beginning to question my decision,” Mama chuckled, shaking her head, “He’s lucky he has that voice…”

But Katniss wasn’t in the mood for jokes. She let out an exasperated sigh. When her mother turned back to her, a questioning look on her face, she just let it out, “Ever since Peeta left, I feel so… sad. I miss him all the time.”

Her mother was silent for a moment, a look of empathy on her face. “You’ll be back in Cardinal in a month. Then you’ll get to see each other again,” she said.

“But one day, when I don’t go to school in Cardinal anymore, what if Peeta doesn’t come back to stay with us? What if one day I just can’t stand it anymore and then one of us has to leave our home? How will I know what to do? How will I be able to make that decision? I…” she could feel tears forming— the frustration, exhaustion, and sadness all rolled up into one.

Her mother dusted off her hands and came around the table. Then she lead Katniss over to the couch and sat her down beside her. “Katniss, it’s natural to have these feelings, but it’ll get easier, one day you’ll…”

And suddenly, echoes from the past resurfaced inside Katniss’s memory of her parents’ words— _‘He’ll change, and so will you.’_

“But I love him!” Katniss cried.

It was both painful and cathartic acknowledging it. Mama looked like she was going to say something dismissive or placating, and Katniss couldn’t bear it. “Mama, please!” she pleaded as her mother frowned back at her, concern written over her countenance.

Mama placed her arm around her shoulder and pulled her close, “Oh Katniss, honey, I know it’s hard. Love can be so much pleasure and pain sometimes. It was easier for your Papa and I. Simpler because we both knew what we wanted, how we would live. But the answers will come in time. Then you’ll be ready to make the right choices.”

The words offered a little comfort, but another question was forming in her mind. Something more perplexing and mysterious. She looked entreatingly into her mother’s eyes, begging for understanding. “Mama…” she struggled to get the words out. “What’s it like? With Papa?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, how did you know you wanted to… be with Papa?”

“Oohh…” Mama said with dawning understanding. She took Katniss’s hand and, after a moment of deep thought, she gave a nostalgic smile and began. “The first time I saw your father, he’d just come down from the mountains and wandered into my father’s territory, following the game. I was gathering herbs for my mother, and he asked if I lived nearby. We talked a bit. He was intriguing and new and exciting. He was quite charming.” She laughed. “Then he winked at me and said if I’d give him a kiss, he’d give me a song.”

Katniss smiled, “What did you do?”

“I told him that my kiss was worth way more than a silly song. But then he started to sing and I thought the ground had turned to water.” She shook her head. “I knew I wanted him that very moment, and, even though I tried to be aloof like my mother had taught me, I knew there was no way I could resist for long.”

“How long did you?” Katniss giggled.

Her mother looked a little stricken. “About a week,” she admitted.

“Mama!” Katniss laughed, aghast.

Her mother was actually blushing, but she grew more serious again, and, leaning in close, she spoke softly. “Katniss, there’s still so much you and Peeta don’t know yet, where your lives will take you, that you need to figure out first. When the time’s right, you’ll know. But promise me you won’t hurry this.”

Katniss said earnestly, “It’s, it’s … I just feel so confused and worried all the time, and like I’m burning up inside. Ever since he kissed me, it’s all I can think about.”

Katniss knew about the ways of sex, having grown up so close to the natural world, so that wasn’t the issue. But she felt that she was standing on the edge of something more profound, a threshold that once passed there would be no turning back. It would forever change things between her and Peeta. It seemed so inevitable, but she was also reminded of tracking game through the forest, and how she should tread carefully. More than anything, she didn’t want to make a false step.

Finally, Mama sighed and pulled Katniss into an embrace. “It’s hard for me, seeing you grow up. You know we love Peeta, too, but I just worry. I can’t help it, I’m your mother. But I promise time will help. And you’re only fourteen…” 

“Fifteen in a few months,” Katniss reminded her.

“Still far to young to make any big decisions.”

Katniss sat up, and looked at her mother. “But you weren’t much older than that.” When Mama furrowed her brow, gazing at her, Katniss added with a smirk, “I’ve been to school, Mama. I can do the math. I know how old you are and how old I am.” Her mother actually seemed to go a bit pale.

“Please Mama, tell me. What’s it like?” She paused to consider her thoughts before adding, “What am I supposed to do?”

Her mother looked at her, and it almost seemed to give her pain, but she sighed deeply and smiled, touching Katniss’s face. “What do you want to know?”

 

December arrived and Katniss and Papa made the trek to Cardinal. The first wet snow had arrived and, while most of it had melted, some icy patches still lingered in the shady spots, crunching under foot. The two of them remained in quiet contemplation as they walked.

When they stopped for a snack, Papa finally spoke, “Are you looking forward to seeing your friends?”

Katniss knew he was probably thinking of one friend in particular. “Yes Papa. It’ll be great to see Abby and the others… But Peeta most of all,” she confessed.

“I guess I won’t be able to call you Little Duck much longer,” he said wistfully.

Katniss grabbed her father’s arms and embraced him, her arms stretching around the sides of his pack. “You can always call me that, even when I’m old.”

“Well, you just make sure that boy minds himself, or I’ll have to take matters into my own hands.” When Katniss pulled away and frowned, he smirked, “I’m kidding you. He’s a good boy, like one of the family after all these years. It’s just that I can’t help wanting to protect you.”

“Don’t worry, Papa. Peeta would never hurt me. We promised to protect each other years ago.”

“Is that so?” he laughed. “Well I’m still going to reserve my right as your father to have the last word on that, if it’s all okay with you, Little Duck.”

Katniss smiled a big toothy grin, kissed her Papa’s cheek, and they continued on their way, enjoying the hike. But the closer they got to Cardinal, the faster her heart beat in her chest. After more than three months apart, the anticipation was almost unbearable.

 

_Peeta_

Peeta sat on the edge of his bed, his one remaining piece of anthracite in his hand. It had become a familiar exercise, taking it out and contemplating it, only to carefully replace it in the back of his drawer, untouched. It seemed appropriate somehow. The rock was no more ready to reveal it’s secrets to him than the mysteries of figuring out what he was supposed to do with all these feelings churning inside him.

Katniss would be here in a couple of days, he consoled himself, but a flicker of doubt sparked in the back of his thoughts. What if it had all been a pleasant but inconsequential encounter at the lake for her, and not this thing that invaded his dreams and consumed his waking hours? What if after all this time she still only saw him as a friend? In a few years she would be finished with school, and then what?

He ran a hand through his blond waves and shook his head. Whatever she felt, he would respect that, her friendship was too important. As perplexing as it was thinking about the uncertain future they faced, the mere notion of facing it without her was unacceptable.

But then it occurred to him— what if she did feel the same as he did? The thought brought on a second wave of anxiety, because he realized he didn’t know a thing about girls or what they expected. It was so important to him that he didn’t do something wrong or disappoint her. Peeta sat and considered if there was anyone he could talk to about it.

 _It needs to be someone I can trust,_ he told himself. His friends talked a lot about girls, but they were pretty much clueless and as inexperienced as he was, despite their jokes and bravado. He’d occasionally heard some of the older boys and young men hanging out at the General Store talk about their conquests. But after hearing some of the distasteful things he heard coming out of their mouths, there was no way he would ever listen to anything they had to say on the topic.

He thought of Arden, but quickly dismissed the old bachelor, because, what would he know, after all? Most boys would probably go to their fathers, but that just felt awkward. It was difficult enough talking about ordinary stuff with his father.

And then it occurred to him that maybe the problem was that he was missing something obvious. They were all male. Because, really, if it was about trying to understand a girl, wouldn’t another girl, or woman, be the best one to ask? One name came to mind and he nodded in satisfaction as he made his way across the town square to the back of the medical clinic where the stairway lead to the small apartment on the upper level.

Since Genny had married Justin Donner, she spent many of her free hours assisting him where she could with the operation of the clinic while he supervised the new medicine factory. Peeta was proud of how she handled herself, so calm and efficient. She reminded him a little of Mrs. Everdeen that way, even though she wasn’t a healer.

Everyone liked his sister and found her approachable, even with her McIntyre name. Maybe it was the unpretentiousness of how she lived, or maybe it was her regal bearing they admired. Or maybe it was for the reason he sought her out today. She wouldn’t judge and would approach this with her characteristic composure.

Genny was outside by the clothesline hanging up freshly laundered sheets from the clinic beds on the cool but sunny December day. She looked up and smiled as he came into view.

“Well, hello, stranger. I don’t get to see much of you these days with all the time you’re spending at the bakery and being away on adventures all summer. I hope you’re taking care out there, especially after that snake bite. I worry, you know.”

He could tell it was more than just words for her. “Genny, that was years ago. I’ve been careful, avoiding anything dangerous.” Except the topic of this conversation, he thought to himself. He cleared his throat, fidgeted and suddenly found it difficult to find the right words to start.

“What is it?” she asked, picking up the empty laundry basket. She walked over to where he stood leaning against the porch railing for the back entrance of the clinic.

“Genny, I need some advice. And, well... I just think you might be the best one for me to ask.”

“Oh?” she said, “I’ll do my best. Are you okay? You feeling sick or something?” she asked, placing a hand on his forehead.

Peeta laughed nervously, “No. Well sort of, I guess. It’s about this girl…”

“Ahh...” Genny cut him off with a wink. “No need to explain.”

“And well, you’re married, and you and Justin, you know…”

She smirked at him and jabbed him the ribs with her elbow, “Yeah, and you know all about that,” she teased, and Peeta felt his face grow red at the reference to the evening he had caught them together. She took his arm and led him over to the steps, indicated for him to sit and took a seat beside him. “Let me guess. Katniss.”

Peeta nodded. He let out a deep sigh. “Last summer, she kissed me, and I…kissed her back. I really liked it. But now I don’t know what to do. I mean, she’s going to be back in town in a few days.”

“Well, for starters, you’re a little young to be taking things _that_ seriously yet.”

Peeta’s eyes grew wide, and he tried to explain, “No, it’s not that, I mean, not yet… maybe someday… at least I hope someday… But I just thought… I don’t want to do something stupid. I thought you might help me figure out, you know… So, when the time comes…”

This was so embarrassing, and Genny couldn’t contain a smile and a soft chuckle, along with a raised eyebrow. Peeta flushed, wondering if maybe he’d been wrong coming to his sister with such a personal matter after all.

When she saw his reaction, she immediately responded, “Oh no, Peeta, I’m not laughing at you. I’m flattered, really. And it’s cute.” Her expression softened from teasing to gentle empathy. “It’s actually sort of fitting in a way.”

That piqued his curiosity, so Peeta asked, “What do you mean?”

“You coming to me for advice. Because it’s funny how things go around.” When Peeta looked puzzled, she continued, “I learned so much from your mother. When Marigold first came to live with us, I was only five. With Mother incapacitated, I didn’t have anyone to help me with these things. Initially, I didn’t want anything to do with her. It was common knowledge why she was there living in our home, and we three kids didn’t make it easy. I felt a duty to Mother. It was complicated, confusing. Billy rejected her outright, Russ was only three, and I think he felt lost, so he just mirrored whatever Billy did.”

She paused, a sad look on her face. “And I followed Billy’s lead, too, at least at first. But one evening, she and I were sitting together in the living room, just the two of us. Marigold had me helping her with a quilt she was making for you. Maybe you remember— the one with the blue forget-me-nots on the yellow background?”

Peeta nodded, it had been his favorite thing before he got his bear.

“She was six months pregnant with you at the time, and all of a sudden she let out a gasp. When I looked up, her eyes were wide with excitement. She said that you were surely going to be a wrestler the way you kicked and squirmed! She asked me if I wanted to feel, and, even though I was conflicted by my loyalty to Mother, I was a curious seven-year-old. After, she asked quietly if anyone had ever talked to me about the facts of life.”

Peeta looked at her, entranced about this story about his mother. He had so few of his own memories.

“Even at that age, I found Agnes’s tales of storks delivering babies to chimneys in the dark of night to be quite plausible, especially where Father and Mother were concerned. I don’t think I ever saw them be anything more than cordially polite to each other. Not to mention, I can’t remember ever seeing my parents touch each other.”

“Never?”

“Nope,” she replied and added, “I mean I knew better— we bred livestock, and I was here after all, along with my brothers. But still…” She shrugged and the corner of her mouth turned up just a little as she glanced at him out of the corner of her eye. “The thing is,” she continued, “Mother never got the chance to talk to me before the stroke took her voice. So when Marigold asked about it, I shook my head.”

Genny leaned forward, her hands folded on her lap. “She told me I could come to her any time if I had questions, that she would never judge me. Mostly, because I was so young, we talked about respect and communication, about feelings and affection. I thought it was a bit weird coming from a woman that some in town said horrible things about, especially since it had to do with Father. But somehow it was easy talking to her. Easier than it would have been talking to my own mother. She was more of a friend, or big sister even.”

Genny smiled at Peeta and nudged his shoulder, but then she became wistful. “Over the years, she taught me about more than just sex though. And it was more than just words, too. Watching her, watching them. I learned about love from her, too.”

Peeta was fascinated and asked, “How do you mean?”

Genny’s face took on a reflective tone. “It wasn’t always obvious. Father was usually so formal, and they tried to be discreet even though everyone knew what was going on. The way she would run her hand across Father’s shoulders when she passed him while he sat reading, and then the way his eyes followed her as she walked out of the room. How he always would give her the last roll or slice of roast during dinner. Or one time when she was eight months pregnant and I actually caught sight of him down on his knee tying her shoe laces.”

She paused again as if considering her next words. Peeta raised his eyebrows in question, urging her to continue.

“There was the time Mabel came across them in the study one morning when she went in to dust. Father had been working late into the night on a proposal to persuade the Capitol to bring the train line to Cardinal. Agnes was standing out in the hall with Mabel, whispering for her to just leave them be. As I walked past on the way to the dining room, I caught a glimpse before she shut the door. The two of them sound asleep on the big sofa, wrapped up in a blanket looking so peaceful.”

Genny paused, seemingly lost in thought, before speaking again.

“The thing was, there were all these moments, and it captivated me. And I finally began to understand a little of what she had tried to explain to me, watching the two of them. And I saw what I wanted for myself one day.”

Peeta remembered Arden’s words at the gravesite, the marigolds, and the disconnect between his preconceived notions about his parents and these small details that had been revealed to him. He tucked the thoughts away in the back of his mind to ponder at a later time.

Genny remained silent for a bit before adding, “It broke my heart when she died. And I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you more in the early years, that I kept my distance.”

“But I also remember you being nice as I was growing up,” Peeta interjected.

“I never really knew what to do about you. I was conflicted.”

She smiled warmly, slid her arm around his shoulders, and, with a squeeze, added, “But then you were born and you were far too cute to ignore. I tried to keep up appearances for Mother’s sake of course, but there was no way I wasn’t eventually going to love you.”

Just then, Justin poked his head out of the clinic’s back door behind them, saying they had an injured miner and he needed Genny’s assistance.

“Well, I need to get back to work, but we’ll meet later to discuss things? We can go for a walk and have a talk,” she suggested. Peeta nodded in agreement.

“Okay then,” she declared and patted his knee. As he rose to make his way back home, Genny got up and turned toward the door. Her voice was cheerful when she added, “This evening it is. You, me, walk, talk…” At the door she paused and said, “Oh, and Peeta…”

He turned back to hear what she had to say, “Yeah?”

“Thank you for coming to me. I hope that you see me as more than just your sister. I’d be proud if you’d consider me your friend, too.”

Peeta smiled back at her. “I’d like that.”

She called after him as he made his way across the lawn, “Oh, and don’t worry. You won’t do anything stupid, because it’s just not in you. Katniss is a lucky girl, by the way.”

 

_Katniss_

Papa led the way toward the General Store. He wanted to drop off their items for trade before walking her to the boarding house. When she saw Peeta, sitting on the steps of the store, waiting for her, her heart seemed to constrict and to soar at the same time. But she didn’t have any time to stop to sort it out, because the only thing on her mind was rushing forward as Peeta made his way down the store’s stairway, two steps at a time, to meet her.

When they reached each other, they stood momentarily frozen, unsure what to do. But when he hesitantly opened his arms, inviting an embrace, she practically leapt into them and hugged him close.

“I missed you,” she whispered into his shoulder.

“Me, too,” he replied softly into her hair.

When they parted, they both blushed, but what Katniss felt most of all was a soothing kind of relief, especially when she saw the grin on his face and the beautiful blue of his eyes, so familiar and… _What was it exactly?_ she wondered. It made her think of her parents.

 _That’s what love looks like_ , she realized. It made her heart swell and she hoped he could see it in her eyes as well.

That first night, she waited impatiently for the boarding house to grow quiet. Abby eventually fell into a deep slumber, and Katniss slipped her coat on over her pyjamas and crawled out the window. She and Peeta hadn’t had a moment to themselves all day, and the anticipation had grown with each passing hour. When she reached the McIntyre house, despite her nervousness, her need to see Peeta away from everyone's prying eyes energized her. She took hold of the porch post and began the climb to the roof. 

Peeta was awake as she made her way inside his window— the window that was always left open for her. The thought made her smile.

“Hey,” he said, his back resting against the headboard, but he sat up and grinned when he saw her.

There was no hint of drowsiness in his demeanor. He hasn’t been able to sleep either, she noted. Peeta scooted over to make room beside him. Katniss shed her coat, hung it on the back of his chair, and joined him.

There was a curious energy that charged the space between them. She was acutely aware of their proximity, how her shoulder, arm and leg made contact with his in the narrow bed. He seemed a little nervous, and uncharacteristically quiet, even though she could tell there was so much bottled up he wanted to say, just like her. Neither of them said anything, and just as she was about ask him how the last few months had gone, Peeta spoke.

“Katniss, I’m so glad you’re finally here. All this fall, all I’ve been thinking about is… the lake. Being away from you, it’s been…”

She looked at him and she finished his thought, “Unbearable. Some days I couldn’t hardly concentrate. My hunting’s been off ever since.” She giggled self-consciously, dropping her eyes to her hands as they fidgeted on her lap.

“Yeah, I know what you mean,” he answered with a low chuckle. He was quiet for a moment, and when she looked over at him, she could see a thought forming in his mind. When he spoke again, his voice was serious, almost pained.

“The thing is, all I know is that when I think about not seeing you, not _being_ with you, it makes me feel sick inside. Most nights I can hardly sleep, and when I do, I dream about you…” His voice drifted off and this time he looked away, a little flushed.

Katniss nodded. Yes, she understood, and that now familiar ache resurfaced. She reached across and took his hand. “I know,” she said shyly. “You have an effect on me, too.”

Peeta shifted his body on the bed so that he was directly facing her. For a moment Katniss was saddened by the loss of physical contact, but he continued to hold her hand. He looked down at it, her fingers entwined with his own.

Katniss became very aware of many small sensations— the way Peeta’s thumb caressed the top of her hand that he was holding, how she couldn’t take her eyes off of his lips. She noticed how he reflexively licked them and swallowed while he searched her face with those perfect blue eyes that seemed to reflect her own heightened state of emotion. But he didn’t move, the only physical connection between them was her hand that he clasped tightly in his own.

She had been pining for this moment for so long, but she felt oddly paralyzed now that it was here. The anticipation and longing duelled with an unexpected shyness. Katniss began to tremble, as a rush of adrenaline pumped through her system. Peeta looked down at their joined hands again, but when he looked up this time, he looked so earnest, that it made her heart skip a beat.

 _'What am I supposed to do?'_ she thought. All of Mama’s words seemed forgotten, but then one thought surfaced.  _‘The ground had turned to water,’_ Mama had said, and now Katniss understood. Because she was certain the bed she sat on had become insubstantial, and the only thing of meaning that anchored her was the hand that held her own.

It was all she needed to free her. She leaned in and boldly kissed him, her heart racing, her breath trapped in her chest. And then Peeta was kissing her back, and it felt so good and reassuring that his hand and his lips were all that mattered.

 _‘Finally’_ , she said to herself with a smile, as she felt him sigh against her mouth. It was so much like that kiss at the lake, but it was something more, too. It spoke of promise, no longer a fleeting wild thing that could disappear at any moment. It was something she could hold on to. When they pulled away it was only so that Peeta could rest his forehead against hers.

His voice was a little husky when he whispered, “I just want you to know, I don’t want to go anywhere if you aren’t there, too. And no matter what you want to do, we’ll work it out. Together. And, there’s no rush. We have all the time in the world. Okay?”

She nodded and then everything just felt so comfortable and natural. As if this was exactly where she was supposed to be. They settled down into the bed and Peeta drew the blankets up over them. “I don’t know what I’d do if I ever lost you,” he said quietly.

“You’d find me,” she replied, all her anxiety from the day and the past months dissipating as she snuggled close in his arms. “I’d sing, remember? So you could follow my voice. I promise.” She was sure she could feel his smile brush against her forehead.

“I know. I promise, too,” he answered back. “Good night, Katniss,” he whispered. “I love you.”

The warm, enveloping comfort of the room, the blankets, and the boy next to her, embraced Katniss. She felt a restfulness seep into her that she hadn’t felt in ages.

“I love you, too, Peeta,“ she answered sleepily, and then she added, “I always will.”


	13. Sparking Fires

**Chapter Twelve - Sparking Fires**

_Peeta_

The McIntyre house was quiet one evening late in April as Peeta made his way out the door, heading to the General Store. Spending time with Katniss always helped alleviate the worry that he lived with these days. Mabel and Agnes were done with their chores for the day, and his father had retired to his study. Russell was rarely around these days now that he spent most of his time in Aurora or Hespera.

When his brother had turned twenty at the end of the previous year, Father had decided it was time for Russ to begin his transition into a leadership position, starting with overseeing the mining operations in the two smaller outposts. Russ still answered to Cardinal’s head foreman, and of course to Father, but it was the next stage of his grooming to eventually take his place as a member of Cardinal’s leading family. Russell had eagerly thrown himself into the role.

Unfortunately, not everyone was as enthusiastic. Abby, whose family came from Hespera, shared the news with her friends that Russell’s presence hadn’t been well received by her parents or many others who worked under him. The head foreman in Cardinal wasn’t a young man and the realization that Russell McIntyre might one day be their boss didn’t sit well.

Peeta noted that his father seemed to spend more time than usual visiting the two satellite mines, and the relationship between father and son appeared to be strained. Genny tried to talk to Russ, but it was clear he preferred his elder brother’s counsel over hers. Billy, however, remained in the Capitol.

Billy, now twenty-three, had come home over the New Years holiday, and he'd made his case for his continued absence from Cardinal. He’d secured a job in the office of a minister in the Panem government, and his father had agreed to the arrangement.

“Keep me informed, if you hear anything else,” Father said to his eldest son as they left his study after a private meeting. Peeta had noticed the cool confidence on his brother’s face.

He recalled the day Billy had first left for the Capitol all those years ago, and how Genny had described him. _Maybe she’s right_ , he thought. Because the person who stood before him wasn’t a petulant teenager anymore, but a confident man in control. Perhaps he was capable of the charm and diplomacy that Genny had claimed back then, even if what Peeta saw was an absence of all warmth.

It was such a contrast to his other brother’s lack of self-control. Russ was still the volatile hothead, and it occurred to Peeta that given the choice between the two, having Billy in charge might actually be preferable. Plus, they still had Genny, which gave him some comfort.

But later that night, during Billy’s visit, Peeta had overhead the tail end of a conversation between Billy and Russ. Everyone was supposed to be at the New Year's celebrations, and Peeta had returned to the house to replenish the supply of treats he, Katniss, and Agnes had contributed for the occasion. Believing they were alone in the house, they spoke with particular candor.

“If you’d come home,” Russ had stated, “We could finally claim our birthright, together. I’m sick of being ordered around like a hired hand.”

Though his voice was low, the resentment in Russ’s voice was unmistakable. However confident Billy might be, or surly Russ could be, neither were prepared to openly defy their father.

“It’s more important that I stay in the Capitol, at least for now,” Billy replied, but the way he paused to consider his words before speaking made Peeta think he detected a hint of subterfuge. The Billy he had known before had never been anything but blunt.

“Things are in flux. As far as Cardinal is concerned, we have things to get in order first. Which means you need to do your part to make sure the workers learn to respect your authority. In another couple of years you’ll be in charge of the mine operations, and I can start thinking about taking over the district’s administration. But until then I need to continue to do my part in the Capitol.”

Peeta began to imagine how they were plotting their takeover of the lives in town, and it made him shudder. Despite what Arden had told him about how his father had ensured his independence from them, it made him worry for everyone here in Cardinal.

Russ seemed placated by Billy’s words, but Peeta sensed something more hidden, just beneath the surface of his brother’s message, something that Russ was too daft to pick up on.

When Russ spoke again, his question caught Peeta off guard. “What do you think Father’ll do? When we take over the district?”

Peeta realized he'd been so focused on himself and the people he knew who would be impacted by his brothers’ leadership that he hadn’t stopped to think about his father.

Billy’s answer made Peeta’s blood run cold. “I really don’t care, so long as he stays out of my way.”

His father, still a relatively young man of fifty, had shown himself to be a skilled and capable leader. And he had been unwavering in his plan to make Cardinal a success. For them. Hearing his own sons conspiring against him was chilling.

The following day, he’d brought it up with Arden, now in his late sixties, but he had been dismissive.

“That young man has a lot to learn about leadership if he ever plans to run the mines one day,” Arden had said about Russell, shaking his head. “And Billy’s going to have do better if he thinks he’ll get the upper hand on your father. William will hand over control only when he’s ready, so don’t worry too much about him. Besides, I don’t get the impression Billy is in any hurry to come back to Cardinal,” Arden reassured Peeta.

Now that several months had past, the impact Russell was having on Aurora and Hespera had been a persistent concern. He was glad to have Katniss here to discuss these matters. He saw her visiting with Arden as he entered the store. 

Later that evening, as he was walking her home, he said to her, “You know I’m glad Russ isn’t around to bug us, but I worry about Abby and the rest of the families.”

“But what can we do about it?” she asked.

Peeta shrugged, and they both agreed that the best they could do was to be helpful to their friend in any way they could.

The following week, Abby asked Katniss to come and spend a few days in Hespera with her when school let out before she and Peeta returned to the woods for the summer. He knew Katniss was anxious to get back to her family and the peace of the forest, but she agreed as a show of support and friendship. It was early May, with a month of school left, when Mr. Everdeen visited on her birthday, and Katniss informed him of her plans.

 

Three weeks after they celebrated Katniss’s fifteenth birthday, Billy came back for an unexpected visit to Cardinal. He seemed serious, and, whatever it was that Billy knew, it appeared to trouble his father. Even Genny was preparing for another cross-district trade trip, and Peeta knew she was likely gathering her own information. As usually, no one informed him of anything, and he didn’t ask.

The first night after Billy’s arrival, all the McIntyre children gathered for dinner with their father. The other three were expected to give report after the meal on the progress of their various ventures, including the mines and the medicine factory. Justin was away in District 3 meeting with the researchers, so Genny had brought a folder filled with updates about their latest findings on the efficacy of their new drugs. As they were finishing dessert she brought the folder out and opened it.

But just as she was about to speak, Russell interrupted her. “What’s he doing here?” he said snidely, tipping his head in Peeta’s direction.

All eyes fell on Peeta, and he replaced his fork on the plate beside the half eaten slice of rhubarb pie. He met his brother’s stare with one of his own, refusing to be intimidated.

“Russ!” Genny was aghast, offended for him. “Is that really necessary? We aren’t sharing secrets here, and Peeta is family, too.”

Billy leaned back in his chair, his lips drawn thinly across his teeth. “Well it doesn’t have anything to do with him, either. This is McIntyre business.”

His cold eyes never left his youngest brother, and Peeta felt a ripple of resentment pass through him. Billy’s message was clear. No matter what genetics they shared, he was not one of them, and time hadn’t changed that fact. That wasn’t anything new coming from his brother, so it didn’t come as much of a surprise. Peeta turned his attention back to his father who sat quietly at the head of the table. He seemed to be processing some unfathomable, hidden thoughts, and everyone was silent waiting of him to speak.

“Peeta, would you leave us to have our meeting, please.”

He said it without a hint of emotion, with unreadable neutrality. It left Peeta feeling oddly disconnected— not exactly devalued, but certainly not included. Regardless of his attempt to convince himself he didn’t care anyway, Peeta felt hurt. Because it reminded him of his true place in the McIntyre household.

“I promised to help Katniss study anyway,” he said and threw down the napkin, leaving the rest of his pie unfinished.  _‘Do you even realize how much disdain they have for you, Father?’_ he asked silently as his blue eyes locked onto his father’s paler ones.

He felt Genny’s hand touch his arm as he walked past, and she gave him a sad smile. Despite the bitterness simmering inside him, he gave her a hint of a smile in return. But it didn’t change anything, he thought. When it came to the rest of them, he would never be a McIntyre, always just a guest in his own home.

He was early to meet Katniss— she would still be at her choir practice— so he decided to go find Arden.

“What’s got you in such a funk?” the store manager asked.

When Peeta told him about being kicked out of the family meeting, Arden actually laughed. It made Peeta angry.

“What? You think that’s a bad thing?” Arden added when he saw Peeta’s reaction. “Trust me, your father is doing you a favor. So don’t take such offence.” The store manager reached over and patted his shoulder. “You should be relieved that you aren’t being dragged into these political games. William’s giving you freedoms the others don’t have.”

It confused Peeta, but it did make him feel a little better.

 

The end of the school year arrived, and Peeta spent his free week helping at the bakery while Katniss was in Hespera with Abby and her family. Clara was expecting her first child, and she and her husband, Garnett, reminded him how much they valued his contributions and how they would would miss him over the summer.

Danny had come up with the suggestion for Abby to help out his sister and her husband in his place. “You could make some money over the summer, and I know they’d appreciate your help,” he'd said to convince her, but Peeta and Katniss exchanged knowing glances. They knew Danny was motivated by other reasons to have Abby remain in Cardinal all summer.

It was great to be needed and appreciated at the bakery, but no matter how they included him, it remained their business. Peeta wasn’t convinced that this was his destiny. It troubled him, because it all still came back to Katniss and what she chose to do. And increasingly, given the way things were developing with his brothers, he was starting to believe his future did not lie in Cardinal either.

On the morning of the day that Katniss was to return from Hespera, Peeta planned to tag along with the transport truck that ran between Cardinal and the mining outposts. He would spend the day with her and Abby, then he and Katniss would catch a ride back to town on the transport’s back haul trip. It was several hours drive away, and it was country he hadn’t seen before.

His first view of Hespera was startling. He didn’t expect it to be as nice as Cardinal. After all, it was just a mining outpost. But he wasn’t expecting for it to look as rough as it did. The purpose of the settlement was undeniable. Everything that happened here was connected to the mine’s operation. Even the homes looked little better than storage shacks.

Peeta was humbled by the bleakness. He felt ashamed for his petty resentments against his brothers when he realized how much better his life was compared to these people, including his friends, who lived here. And he was filled with admiration at how Abby had never expressed any resentment towards him. He promised himself to never take her friendship and loyalty for granted. For everything she'd done for Katniss, too.

He was just about to ask where Abby’s home was located when the sounds of a commotion drew his attention. The truck’s crew, who were unloading the supplies, also stopped to see what was going on. It was coming from what appeared to be the mining office, a shack with a metal roof and ugly, faded siding. It was dirty like everything else here. One of the voices barking out orders was all too familiar. Russell.

A man stormed out of the office. He looked strong, and it was hard to tell how old he was under the layer of coal dust. But what was unmistakable was his disgust. Outside the building were waiting about two dozen workers, stubbornly rooted in place, some with tools in their hands. The closer Peeta got, the more he was aware of the barely contained anger and concern hidden under the grime on all their faces. His brother followed the man out, followed by two of the hired deputies assigned to Hespera.

Russell’s face was redder than usual with his own familiar rage as he yelled at the man. “I told you, to get your men back to work! I inspected the ventilation myself— there’s nothing wrong with it. You just resent having to work the extra Sunday shift. This isn’t fooling anyone.”

“It’s not safe, and I’m not letting anyone back in until it is. That new system hasn’t worked right since it was installed, not like the old one,” the man yelled back.

Peeta could see the almost reflexive move of Russell’s hand toward the handgun he always carried with him to the job site. Peeta shook his head in disgust.  _‘Reckless idiot!’_ he silently accused his brother.

The crowd seemed to almost pulse, and after years of hunting with the Everdeens and facing down dangerous animals, Peeta recognized that, regardless of what Russ thought, he wasn’t in control of this situation. If they all didn’t back down, someone was going to get hurt. And intimidation was not going to work on these people. Almost on instinct, Peeta stepped up into the narrow opening between the men and his brother. He noticed that another worker inside the shack turned back to grab the phone hanging on the wall behind him. Probably calling Father, he thought.

 _‘What am I doing?’_ he asked himself, aware of a calm detachment— as if he was watching himself from outside. _‘If I can find a compromise, maybe whatever is happening here can be stopped,’_ he said to himself. But it needed to be something that would appease both sides.

“If the men say it isn’t safe, what does it hurt to give it another check? How much time could it possibly take, just to be cautious?” he said.

Peeta was confident he could get the workers’ needs met with the suggestion, but Russell? He wasn’t sure about that. He was stubborn, prideful, and would be resistant. What would convince him? Peeta sought an answer, and then it came to him. “Look, if there’s faulty machinery being sold to us, Father’ll want to know.” Peeta hoped that shifting the blame might do the trick.

But Russell’s expression said it all. Even the offer of a face-saving out wasn’t enough to override the hatred his brother had for him. Maybe if the suggestion had come from someone else, it might have worked, Peeta considered.

“Stay the hell out of this, Peeta. It’s none of your business,” Russ hissed at him.

“I’m trying to help you,” Peeta muttered quietly under his breath, shaking his head again at his brother’s blind stupidity.

Unfortunately, Peeta realized, he’d only made things worse, because now the men were emboldened further. They knew who he was, and wrongfully thought that he might actually carry some authority here. They were gathering tighter and pushing forward. The expression on Russell’s face revealed his dawning realization of his predicament, and Peeta saw just the hint of fear in his eyes. That’s all it will take, Peeta thought, panicking as he saw his brother’s hand circle the grip of the handgun.

But just as Peeta and the rest of the men behind him moved to react, the ground shook beneath their feet, and there was the muffled sound of explosion behind them. Everyone’s attention was immediately drawn to the entrance of the mine. Suddenly, no one was paying attention to Russell anymore. The wail of a siren began to blare and everyone sprang into action.

That evening, back in Cardinal, Peeta stood in his father’s study, Russ on his left, while Father looked at them both, stiff-backed and hands clenched. He’d just met with the Hespera head miner who had confronted Russ and gotten his report of events. But his father was no longer focused on the reasons for the explosion. He was addressing the events that had led up to the confrontation.

Russ spoke up first, trying to defend himself and deflect attention from what would have been another disaster if it hadn’t been for the explosion. “No one was injured,” he said. “They were all above ground.”

His father was furious. “And why was that? If it wasn’t for the men’s refusal to work, there would have been a crew down there.”

Russ seemed to shrink, but his face was red, and Peeta saw bitter antipathy in his eyes for being chastised.

“You need to get it together and use your head if you ever plan to run the mines one day,” Father lectured sternly. “Check your ego at the door and listen to the advice you get from seasoned people who know more about what’s going on in the mines than you do.”

Russ remained silent, but he was seething.

“We’ll talk about the mechanical failure later,” his father muttered and turned to Peeta. He wasn’t sure what he expected, but he wasn’t prepared for what came out of his father’s mouth next. “And don’t ever get involved in any mine matters again. _Never_ contradict your brother in front of the men. _Ever_.” His tone was cutting, harsh, and it confused Peeta.

“But if I hadn’t, someone could've gotten hurt. If it hadn’t been for the explosion, Russ might have set off the men. You said so yourself.” But he was cut off.

“Stay out of it, Peeta! This is between me, your brother, and the workers. You have an issue, take it up privately with him if you must, or me.”

“But you agreed with the head miner that refusing to enter the mine was the right thing to do,” Peeta insisted, incensed by the scolding he was receiving.

“It’s irrelevant,” his father answered in a stern voice. “McIntyres don’t undermine each other.”

Peeta was stunned by the absurdity. As far as Peeta was concerned, his brothers undermined him all the time. When he spoke up to say so, he was silenced.

“This is business,” his father answered sharply. “Personal matters don’t apply here. You stay out of mine business, and when you decide what you want to do, he will stay out of yours.” He looked at Russ when he said it. “Is that clear.” It wasn’t a question.

Russ give a tight nod, but he also gave Peeta a dismissive sneer. Seeing Peeta dressed down obviously gave him some pleasure.

 _‘You’re defending the actions of a son who would turn on you in a heartbeat if he saw the chance. Can’t you see that?’_ Peeta wanted to scream, but his own hurt overrode his concern for his father.

“Leave us, Peeta. I need to speak to Russell in private.”

Peeta was vibrating from the unfairness of the criticism. People would have died if they’d followed Russell's orders. And he only gave them the support they rightly deserved. Maybe even one of Abby’s parents could have been killed, either by Russell rashness or down in the mines.

He was about to exit the study when he heard his father’s next comment before he closed the door behind him. “Do you have any idea how you’ve screwed up?” Father growled at Russ.

His brother’s face was in profile and he could see the color drain away along with Russ’s smoldering rage.

“What am I going to do now with a complete shut-down? They figure it’s going to be months until Hespera is back up and running, and I have quotas to maintain.” He paused and then added sharply, “Not to mention the damage done to your credibility as a leader. All of this could have been avoided.”

While there was some satisfaction in seeing Russ answer for his actions, it left Peeta feeling empty and depressed. And it was only as he made his way to the kitchen, where Katniss, Abby and Danny were supposed to be waiting, that he realized something.

 _‘McIntyres don’t undermine each other,’_ Father had said. It was the first time that he could remember being referred to as a ‘McIntyre,’ and not just a secondary member of the family. He thought back over the years about wanting to have an identity, to be a legitimate son. And he realized that at this moment, for the first time, he didn’t want it.

 

_Katniss_

Katniss was sitting alone on a stool at the counter when Peeta entered the kitchen.

“Where’d everyone go?” he asked.

“Abby’s still a bit shook up, and Danny offered to walk over to the bakery for a pastry to cheer her up.”

“Should we go meet up with them?” Peeta asked. “So we can say goodbye. We’re leaving tomorrow morning.”

Katniss got up and came around to join him. She could tell he was agitated, no doubt upset from whatever happened during his meeting in the study.

“No, let’s let them have some time together. Besides, I think Danny would appreciate that,” she said with a knowing smile, but Peeta seemed distracted.  
“Come on,” she said softly, and took his hand, leading him out of the kitchen and up the stairs to his room.

Peeta sat down on the side of his bed with a deep sigh.

“What happened?” Katniss asked. She couldn’t believe he would have gotten in trouble for his part in the Hespera events. It didn’t make sense.

He shook his head. “Family stuff,” was all he said and wearily ran both hands over his face. “It makes me just want to go to the woods with you this summer and never come back.”

Hearing Peeta say it gave Katniss a momentary flash of happiness, but then guilt set in for feeling that way because she knew he was saying it out of pain. She stood watching him, uncertain what to say or how best to help with whatever had him so troubled. She made a tentative step forward, placing herself directly in front of him. Reaching out to stroke the side of his head, she smoothed the blond waves away from his face in a comforting gesture she knew he liked.

Peeta surprised her when he pulled her close between his knees and rested his cheek against her chest. His eyes were closed, and his arms circled her tightly. It was more intimate than usual for them, but she responded to the touch with eagerness. She wanted him to be happy and forget about the day’s events, but the intensity of the embrace was new, and it made her feel a little tense and tingly.

She continued to smooth his hair, growing oblivious to everything except the awareness of their proximity— thighs brushing against thighs, the light pressure of his hands against her back holding her close. How his warm breath found it’s way through the small gaps between the buttons of her blouse, caressing the skin of her breast. And with it came an undeniable rush of pleasure mingled with her need to comfort him.

She felt the urge to act boldly despite her uncertainty. She bent her head down and kissed the top of his head, then the side of his face at his temple. She was working her way down to his mouth when Peeta took her face between his hands and pulled her down to kiss her lips.

Her kisses grew more passionate and exploratory, and her tongue began to trace across his lips, eager to taste and feel. At first, Peeta appeared to be caught up in the experience, softly groaning at the feel of her fingers as they combed through his hair and her tongue as it teased him. Katniss grew aware of how he became passive as she savored him.

When she began to pull away to try to read his expression, he pulled her back and this time returned her kiss with equal ardor. It was an urgent, almost desperate, kiss, leaving them both panting and breathless. It wasn’t like anything they had shared before, and it thrilled her.

In that moment, she felt as if she was standing on the edge of a precipice. Katniss could feel her nervousness and the adrenaline rush from her passion duelling for dominance. It was both exciting and frightening, and she was a little overwhelmed due to its suddenness. But this was Peeta, the boy she loved and trusted, and he needed her. And then it dawned on her that she didn’t want to stop, so she moved in for another eagerly shared kiss.

Katniss gave herself over to the sensations running through her body, from her lips where his tongue now met hers, and down her spine as his hands caressed her back. She answered the caresses with ones of her own. Heat swam up to her face and down to her core. She tugged his shirt out from the back of his pants, craving the feel of his skin against her palms. But it wasn’t enough, so she impulsively removed her hands from his back and reached between them to unbutton her blouse.

Peeta abruptly stopped and pulled away to look at her. His eyes looked a little glazed, and she was feeling almost dizzy from the loss of contact. If it wasn’t for his hands grasping her wrists, stilling her motions and holding her in place, she believed she would have fallen over.

“Why…What are you doing, Katniss?” he whispered huskily, and she was momentarily confused by his question.

“I… I just wanted to make you happy. I thought you wanted it, too.”

She suddenly felt awkward, that she must have done something wrong. Her first impulse was to turn and step away from his grasp before Peeta could see her blush with embarrassment.

“It’s just…” he answered as he glanced at the door that led to the hall, and a new mortification came over her.

Of course, she thought, there were people wandering around the house, still awake at this hour, maybe right outside his door. “Oh, yeah. We shouldn’t. I’m sorry. I don’t know what I was thinking…” She knew she was babbling, and found it hard to look at his face.

When she finally did, his eyes grew wide and he rushed to reassure her.

“Katniss, no! I’m sorry, it’s not that! I didn’t mean it that way!” Peeta stood up and pulled her into a hug. “You do make me happy. You have ever since the first day I saw you when we were five.”

His voice imploring her to understand was so earnest that the tension that had clenched her muscles seemed to melt away. She relaxed, sinking into his embrace. He pulled her down to sit beside him, her hand in his.

There was a kind of desperation in his voice when he continued. “If you weren’t here, if I didn’t have you in my life, I don’t know what I’d do.” She squeezed his hand in reply, watching him intently. “It’s just that... with what happened today…” He paused. “I don’t want you to do this because I was upset about what happened in Hespera, or because I’m out of sorts because of my family.”

“It wasn’t just because you were upset,” Katniss said quietly. “I wanted to do it, and…” She smiled coyly, “I liked it.”

It was his turn to blush, but he grinned in reply. “So did I. A lot.” His expression became serious. “I’ve been falling in love with you most of my life. And kissing you like that, and more… I think about that all the time. But it’s always someplace all our own, and all of this…” He waved his free hand indicating everything around them, “...isn’t a part of it. At least, that’s how I imagine it. Does that make any sense?”

She nodded. “It’s what I want, too,” she agreed, though she felt a strange mixture of relief and frustration.

“You should go back to the boarding house,” Peeta whispered. “I’m sure Abby could use a friend tonight.” It wasn’t long before curfew. “Come on. I’ll walk you there.” He stood up and held out his hand.

As they walked back to the boarding house, it occurred to Katniss how Peeta treated others. Worrying about his friends, stepping up to help the miners today, even thinking about how to make things perfect for her, for them. And she realized she loved him even more because of it.

 

_Peeta_

When they reached the front door of the boarding house, before he let go of her hand, Peeta looked at her with a sly grin and asked, “Do you think I could have one more of those kisses, just to hold me until tomorrow?”

Katniss giggled, leaned into his arms and responded with enthusiasm, but the sound of someone clearing their throat interrupted them.

“Curfew, Miss Everdeen,” Mrs. Carson announced sternly from the entrance way.

Katniss gave Peeta one last quick kiss and said conspiratorially, “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

He knew what she meant— tomorrow they’d be free of the town and all the controversy. Back to the woods where things were beautiful, and they could spend every hour together. Two whole months to explore this whole new world that was opening up for them.

“I’ll see you tomorrow,” he answered, grinning broadly.

Peeta returned to his house, and, as he turned to climb the stairs to go to his room, he noticed the door to his father’s study was open and light was pouring out into the hall. He tried to slip by unnoticed, but, just as he began to climb the stairs, his father called him back.

Peeta sighed and obediently entered the study.

“Tomorrow, I’ll be leaving on the train for District 6 to see about equipment to restore mining operations,” Father said. Peeta remained silent. He explained further, “And then I’ll be continuing on to the Capitol to try to explain how our production will be impacted for the foreseeable future.”

Peeta felt a brief tinge of concern for his father at the hinted implication, but his earlier resentment quickly extinguished it. Billy’s caustic words from only two months ago echoed in his memory.

“Well, why tell me? It’s none of my business, after all,” he answered bitterly.

His father gave him a weary look, but nodded and replied, “Yes. Well, I just wanted to say goodbye, since I probably won’t see you tomorrow morning. I hope you have an enjoyable and productive summer.”

Peeta uttered a ‘thank you’ and a ‘good night’, then went upstairs. Once in his room, he lay in bed, and in the calm solitude he remembered Arden’s claim that Father was only looking out for him. It still bothered him how the day had gone, and, though he didn’t regret his actions in Hespera, he now regretted the tone he’d taken with him. Maybe he was doing what he thought was best, trying to shelter him in some way. It had always been clear that the town and the mines were destined to belong to the other three McIntyre children.

He slipped back downstairs, intending to wish his father a productive trip, too, as a way to make up for his earlier brusqueness, but the study was empty. He caught sight out the foyer window of his father walking across the square and around the back of the General Store, no doubt to see Arden.

That night he lay awake as thoughts of kissing Katniss alternated with the events of the day. Peeta thought about actually leaving Cardinal for good one day— like he’d said to Katniss— and all the implications that came with it. He thought about the people he would miss— his friends, Arden, Genny, Agnes, Clara and Garnett along with his work at the bakery. Even his father a little bit, too, he realized.

And yet, he couldn’t help linger on the prospect of a life with Katniss and the Everdeens, free from all the drama in town. Thinking of Katniss didn’t give him rest either— it was somehow soothing and intoxicating at the same time. His place was with her, he realized with a clarity he hadn’t had before. And he began to formulate a plan for the future.

Peeta eventually fell asleep and in his dreams he ran his fingers through Katniss’s long, dark hair. He could feel the warmth radiating off of her olive skin under his hands, and the way her breasts pressed up against his chest when she held him close. He ran his tongue over his lips, recalling the taste of her as she kissed him.


	14. Building a Home

**Chapter Thirteen - Building a Home**

_Katniss_

Katniss let out a small hiss when the knife she was using to gut the fish inadvertently nipped the edge of one of her fingers. Rinsing the blood off in the cool lake water, she gave it a quick inspection and decided it was just a scratch. She brought it up to her mouth when a tiny drop of blood reformed at the site of the wound.

As she ran her tongue over the injury, her eyes became fixated on the source of her distraction, and she couldn’t contain a smile. Peeta was occupied chopping wood, replenishing the supply beside the cement house. He was unaware of her gawking, but it didn’t escape her brother’s attention.

“You really think you should be handling knives right now?” Logan chuckled. “Seriously, Katniss, even your hunting has been pitiful all summer.”

She met his accusation with a scowl, but then rolled her eyes. It was true though. 

“Just wait,” she snapped back, “One day you’ll understand.”

She returned to her work, satisfied that her finger was no longer bleeding. Papa came out of the house and announced they should get on their way soon.

The four of them had spent the night at Shelter Lake. Today, Papa and Logan would continue on to Cardinal, while she and Peeta would return home, checking their trapline on the way. Logan divided up the fish— one half to take with him to trade, the rest for Katniss to share with their mother and Violet.

“You better let me clean this last one,” Logan teased as he held out his hand for the knife. “And don’t go distracting Peeta either— an ax is a lot more dangerous than a knife!”

Katniss gave her brother a playful shove and walked over to where Papa was adding the squirrels he'd shot that morning to his already heavy pack.

Peeta piled up the firewood he’d split and walked over to join them.

“I think that’s enough to last for while,” he said, wiping his sweaty face on the hem of his shirt. All Katniss could think of was how much she’d like to reach over and run her hands across his exposed belly as she bit her lower lip.

She was all too aware of how in the past year Peeta had filled out. He was a little taller but he was beginning to lose his previous lankiness. His shoulders, limbs and torso were defined by intriguing new muscles, especially when he was hard at work. She wondered what he would look like in another year at this rate. It made her heart beat faster just thinking about it. And she found it satisfying how she often caught Peeta stealing glances her way, too. He wasn’t the only one who'd changed she realized, tugging at the hem of her top and catching Peeta’s eye.

“I noticed a large patch of wood sorrel where I got the squirrels,” Papa said. “Just off the left side of the stream about five minutes from here.” Papa pointed in the direction where they would find the lemony herb before adding, “Your mother would appreciate if you collected some. It’ll go nicely with the fish. I’ve got some for Agnes, too.”

“She’ll like that,” Peeta smiled. “And please say ‘hello’ to her, and Arden, too, for me.” He paused for a second and added, "And my father, if you see him."

“Well,” Papa announced, slipping his pack's straps over his shoulders. “Time to get moving. Ready, Logan?” Her brother answered in the affirmative and grabbed his own pack.

Peeta and Katniss gave a wave as her father and Logan disappeared into the trees, and then gave each other an anticipatory smile. Even though they'd spent every day together this summer, their time alone had been minimal. This was the first time they had been truly by themselves since they'd returned to the woods.

Finding private moments together had posed a bit of a challenge. A certain number of hours were occupied by independent activities as a result of their chores. Everyone would have been suspicious if Katniss had suggested that Peeta join her while she tracked game, since it was pretty much a guarantee she’d come home empty handed. Peeta more than made up for his lack of hunter stealth by his adeptness in managing the smoke house, and her mother would pretend to frown whenever she set out bread for a meal and the first question from everyone else was a tentative, "Did Peeta make it?" But Katniss knew how much Mama preferred his baking, too. It filled her with warmth to see how far they had come from that day over seven years ago when Mama had first met him. Still, she and Peeta managed to steal a few kisses while off gathering herbs for her mother with Violet, or helping her father collect wood for the smoke house.

At night, sleeping on the porch, there were her siblings in close proximity. But sometimes, when the night was very still with everyone fast asleep, and the only sound was the chorus of the crickets, Katniss would slide over to Peeta’s pallet.

It started as a game. At first, with nervous hands, they would run fingers across the bare skin of each other’s back. With barely audible whispers, so as not to wake Logan and Violet, they would guess at what message or design the other had shared. Soon, the tactile explorations became something they craved, a source of soothing and intimate pleasure.

One night, as Katniss lay on her stomach, her head resting on her crossed forearms and the back of her camisole pushed up, Peeta had traced what she guessed was a dandelion.

“Make a wish,” he'd whispered, and she'd scrunched up her shoulder to her chin as his breath tickled her ear. It was the most captivating game she'd ever played.

On another night she daringly pushed him down so that he lay on his back and brought her fingers to his chest. Peeta hadn’t bothered with a top since the night air was sultry. Even Katniss’s own thin camisole felt oppressively hot against her skin. As he lay there, her head resting on his shoulder, she ran her fingertips across his body. The full moon’s light on the cloudless night delineated his abdominal muscles, which quivered under her touch.

“That’s too easy,” he joked next to her ear, so that no one would hear. “I can see what you’re writing.”

“Then close your eyes,” she whispered in a breathy voice, and she thought he actually shivered in response to her new attempts at seduction.

When Peeta returned the gesture the following night there was no pretense of the game. The moment he reached out to use his finger to draw slow circles across the bare skin of her belly that peeked out from beneath the bottom edge of her top, she recognized the question in his eyes.

With her heartbeat quickening and the dim light making her brave, Katniss sat up and slipped the camisole off. She reclined again on her back, and Peeta propped himself up on his elbow beside her. She wasn’t as voluptuous as Abby or some of the other girls in her class, and for a couple of nervous heartbeats she wondered if he would be disappointed. But the way his eyes traveled over her filled her with a dreamy sense of security. As much as Peeta seemed to take pleasure in looking at her, she was certain she enjoyed having him look at her this way just as much.

At first, he simply skimmed his hand over her ribcage and up the side of her body from her waist to just below her armpit. Her breathing became shallow and rapid with anticipation. He reached over to her braid that lay on her chest and gently moved it to her shoulder. Katniss sucked in a breath as his fingers lightly brushed across her breast. When he released the braid, he hesitated, so she guided his hand back to the place that ached for his touch. Her skin tingled, pebbling with gooseflesh, and she gave a quiet gasp as his fingers lightly swept across her stiffened peaks. Encouraged by her reaction, Peeta continued his explorations.

She giggled when he found a particularly ticklish spot, and, his eyes growing wide with mirth, he placed a finger on her lips. “Shh!” he'd whispered.

They both glanced over at her two sleeping siblings, barely containing their laughter with ardent kisses.

Later, when she'd slipped back into her camisole, Peeta lay beside her, his smile full of love. She clung tightly to him with her head resting on his chest. She'd fallen asleep listening to the heartbeat she found there.

It was a heady experience to feel this way from only a touch, and Katniss could only imagine how it would be when they were ready to indulge in more serious explorations. Just Peeta's hands on her breasts and his lips on hers were enough to make her head swim so enticingly. And she knew from the smoky look in Peeta’s eyes and the way his breath caught in his throat when she touched and kissed him in return that it was mutual.

“What should we do now?” Peeta’s voice brought her back to the present from her daydream.

“Hmm? Oh, let me think,” she answered, tilting her head to one side as she appraised him.

She reached out to tug on the hem of his shirt, dampened by sweat, clinging to his torso. She could feel the skin on his belly twitch when her fingers barely made contact.

“I think maybe we should go for a swim, to clean up before we go home,” she answered coyly.

He gave her an impish smile in return, stepped away from her grasp in order to strip down. With a playful whoop he ran to the stone ledge where the water was deeper and dove in.

Katniss laughed in response and followed his lead, only this time she did so without any reservation or timidity. The water was refreshing, and she sighed given how good it felt given the heat that seemed to be inescapable these days. She swam easily over to where Peeta stood in chest height water, and gathering her into his arms, he kissed her deeply. Pulling his face away from hers, he ran his hand over the side of her head and down her still braided hair.

“I want to spend every day of the rest of my life with you, Katniss.”

He was so solemn when he said it, that her earlier playfulness disappeared, and in its place her heart almost ached.

“One day, soon, I’m going to marry you… if you’ll have me, of course,” he added almost apologetically.

Katniss nearly laughed in amazement. _‘Does he think I might actually have other ideas?’_ she wondered.

“I’ll allow it,” she replied and gave him a fervent kiss to dispel any doubt.

She could feel one of Peeta’s hand sliding down her back, but when it reached the edge of her undergarments he paused. Then it slipped down over her hips to the curve of her bottom. He pulled her close, and she became aware of his arousal through the thin material that separated them. She found herself unable to concentrate on the kissing, and he must have sensed her grow still because he stopped again. He rested his forehead against hers, breathing heavily. Katniss found that she could hardly catch enough air to breathe, too.

After a moment he opened his eyes, swallowed, and whispered, “We don’t have to do anything Katniss. It’s okay.”

She shook her head and replied, “No. I like it when you touch me. I love how you make me feel.”

“Come on,” he said, and, reaching for her hand, he led them toward the shore.

They reached the the ledge and he climbed from the water, holding out his hand to her. With an effortlessness that made her gasp in surprise, he pulled her out of the water. It made something stir inside her how easily he did that. When he held out her shirt to her, she pouted, which made him grin. He dropped the shirt back to the ground and closed the distance between them.

“We’ve got all sorts of time still left this summer to enjoy this…” He kissed her shoulder where it met her neck, and she tilted her head to the side to allow better access. “…and this…” He ran a hand lightly over her breast so that her breath caught in her throat. “…and maybe this, too,” he said, a mischievous glint in his blue eyes that rivaled the summer sky, as he bent down and kissed her breast where his hand had been. She gasped in surprise and then laughed at the thrilling sensation.

That was something new, and she was sorry it was so brief. It promised oh-so-much to look forward to, so that when he leaned in to give her a quick kiss on the cheek, she couldn’t help but pout again. He smirked in reply.

He reached for her shirt again and held it out to her. “Maybe we should start thinking about heading back before your mother wonders what happened to us.”

Katniss nodded, still feeling a little dreamy. But as she took her shirt and contemplated it, she looked back up at Peeta and grinned. The shirt fell back onto the ground.

“Yes… but not quite yet,” she purred, and stretching up on her tip toes, trailed kisses of her own down his neck. The water from his hair dripped down the side of his head, around his ears, and followed the ridge of his collar bone. It was his turn to let out a gasp when she impulsively used her tongue to lap up the water droplets that clung to his skin.

“Hey, that tickles,” he chuckled softly, his husky voice confessing his enjoyment under a veneer of humor, which delighted her. So she did it again.

“Hmm… You heard your father, we have wood sorrel to pick,” he murmured, but he made no attempt to stop her as her lips traversed the plain of his chest. “Well, maybe a little while longer,” he added, and she smiled.

She tilted her head to glance up into the sky. “It would be a shame to waste this perfect chance to enjoy the lake on such a hot day,” she said, flashing a coquettish smile at him.

The words had barely left her mouth when she found herself swept up in his arms, and a second later she was flying through the air. She fell with a splash back in the water. When she came up for air, laughing, Peeta dived into the water nearby. He surfaced very close in front of her, his arms sliding over her body so that she was cradled in his arms.

Katniss’s hands rested on his shoulders as he held her, and for a moment they both said nothing. Instead they listened to the sound of buzzing insects and of each other’s rapid breathing.

“Kiss me again,” she said, and bit her bottom lip, barely suppressing a grin. When Peeta leaned forward to place his lips on hers, she gave a quick dart of her eyes and a slight tip of her chin down to her breasts. She didn’t need to ask twice.

 

_Peeta_

Before they left the cement house, Peeta took out his sketchbook, and, using a piece of string which he marked in increments, he started to measure. He wrote the rough figures in his book, and took a contemplative look around the mostly bare room, visualizing.

“What are you doing?” Katniss asked, coming up behind him and slipping her arms around his middle. She felt warm and soft against his back and he fought the urge to turn and start kissing her all over again.

“Just checking something out. It’s a secret,” he teased as he extricated himself.

She frowned with mock displeasure. “Okay, but I’m not sure how patient I can be with secrets.”

“Don’t worry,” he said and kissed her nose. “I think this one is worth waiting for.” And with that, they began the hike home.

 

They said goodbye out back of the Everdeen’s home when the day arrived for Peeta to return to Cardinal. Katniss opted to stay home, claiming it was easier to stay here surrounded by her family, rather than accompany him for the journey back to town. He understood how hard it was for her to leave, and he wished he didn’t have to go.

“I’ll see you in October when we come to trade, and then I’ll be back in town for school well before the snow flies,” she reassured as she kissed him goodbye. She looked at him with such adoration it was a struggle to not stay with her.

When Peeta reached the outskirts of Cardinal, he noticed a curious amount of activity outside the handful of shops. People seemed agitated, and he grew concerned. Instead of heading directly home, he detoured to the General Store to find Arden. His friend, Glenn, the deputy town marshall’s son, met him at the top of the stairs.

“What’s going on?” Peeta asked, when he saw the sober expression on Glenn’s face.

“The train’s been ambushed,” he said. “It never arrived at the first check point when they left yesterday. So your father sent my dad and some others to track it down and find out what happened.” Glenn reached out and grabbed his arm. “It’s okay. Whoever did this, they let everyone go. The search party found them walking along the tracks on the way back to town early this morning. They just got back.”

Peeta was processing what he’d just heard when Glenn added, “Genny was with them.”

He immediately left his friend on the steps and ran to the clinic. He rushed through the front door, following the sound of voices. His sister was sitting on the examining table, while Justin was swabbing bleeding sores on her feet. He ran over to her, reached out, and hugged her tightly.

“I just got back and I heard… What happened?” he asked when he released her.

She looked tired from what was undoubtably a long walk through the night. But she patted him on the arm reassuringly. “I’m okay. They didn’t hurt us. But I wasn’t exactly wearing appropriate footwear for a long hike,” she said with a hint of a chuckle. Justin gave her a concerned glance and went back to treating her blistered feet.

“Father insisted that I come here to get checked out first, but he wants me to come to the house right away to report to him. He’s talking to the security officials in the Capitol, but why don’t I explain to you when I talk to him, all at once, okay?”

Once Justin had finished bandaging her feet, the three of them made their way over to the house. Agnes let out a tearful cry, hugged his sister against her ample bosom, and sobbed. Genny was actually comforting her. Just as they were heading toward the study, Russell arrived. He’d apparently heard the news, and was back from overseeing the continuing repairs to Hespera’s mine. He and Peeta exchanged a tense look, but he hugged his sister and said he was glad she was okay.

Their father was still speaking on the phone, but he waved them all into the study, and moments later finished his call. Genny sat down in the chair in front of their father’s desk, while the other three remained standing— Russ leaning back against the book shelf with his arms crossed, and Justin and Peeta on either side of Genny. Justin’s hand never left her shoulder.

“The Capitol is insisting on calling it another example of unprovoked anarchy,” Father said. “But I’m going to want to hear your version, Eugenia.”

“Another?” Peeta blurted out, “You mean there’s been other attacks?”

He glanced about the room and Justin gave a small nod. “This is the first incident involving a train, though,” he said.

Genny shared the details of her ordeal— how she and the train’s crew were released but the shipment of coal was destroyed along with the train. Once she finished describing their long walk back to Cardinal, the conversation turned to disturbing developments in Panem and the expected economic impacts.

For a brief moment Peeta wondered if he should stay, since they were no doubt going to discuss the impact on Cardinal business. Genny seemed to sense this, and reaching out and squeezing his hand, she signaled for him to stay.

Peeta learned about increasing unrest in various places across Panem. There had been strikes in some districts over working conditions and angry expressions of disaffection over the increasing relative wealth in the Capitol. The Capitol had responded by sending in troops to crack down on the protests. Officially, district leadership gave their support for the intervention, but Genny described unofficial discontent just under the surface. And, increasingly, there was a reluctance to discuss any of it openly.

But District 12, until the train attack, had been relatively free of discord, which led to speculation that what happened in Hespera might not have been an accident. Suspicion of sabotage had been traced to District 6’s equipment manufacturing. It was believed the intention was to disrupt production in various districts, especially those responsible for power and food generation. It had led to arrests of suspected instigators, none of whom had been seen or heard from since.

And further inflaming the situation was the increase to the tribute tax attached to all trade.

“When did they raise the tax?” Peeta asked. It was the first he'd heard of it.

“Just over a month ago, ostensibly to cover the cost of the increased security provided by the Capitol peacekeepers, among other things,” a gruff voice behind them answered. Arden walked in and, at the sound of his voice, they all turned.

Peeta frowned. “Mr. Everdeen never mentioned any additional costs when he and Logan were here last month.”

“That’s because your father hasn’t passed any of it along,” Arden replied. “He’s absorbed all the cost of the tax increases,” he explained for Peeta’s benefit. “Other districts haven’t been so fortunate. The citizens elsewhere have seen substantial increases in the cost of goods.”

His father grimaced at Arden’s commendation, and responded, “It was necessary after what happened in Hespera to maintain goodwill between us and the workers. It wasn’t a good time to pile on more burden, it would only exacerbate the problem.”

Everyone’s eyes darted involuntarily to Russ for a second. He looked like he wanted to respond, but then changed his mind and remained silent.

 _‘Maybe he is starting to smarten up,’_ Peeta thought.

“Obviously this isn’t an acceptable long term situation,” his father continued. “We are barely profitable with our mining slow down and the investment costs of the medicine factory as it is. And I wouldn’t be surprised to see the tax raised further. After yesterday’s train attack, the Capitol has declared that all trains will have an armed peacekeeper presence from now on.”

“Well, if the other districts are anything like I expect, their black markets are thriving. Any way to avoid the costs,” Arden said. He walked over to the sitting area of the study and dropped into his father’s armchair. Peeta followed him, taking a seat on the end of the sofa nearest him.

“But with so much of our raw goods and specially manufactured products still coming through official trade channels, it can’t be much of a help,” Justin said.

Even though the Capitol was excusing the tax increases under the guise of restoring peace and order, Peeta learned that the group believed it was also about pouring more resources into the development and manufacture of weapons.

“We’ve known that the building and stockpiling of arms has been going on for some time,” Genny summarized. “We first saw evidence of it in District 13, but I’ve also seen indications in District 2.”

“And District 3,” Justin added. “From what I’ve been able to gather when I’ve been there on business, there's plenty of top secret stuff going on.”

“And it would seem some of those weapons are slipping through the cracks,” Arden stated.

“Can we expect the Capitol to send troops here? As a precaution against more attacks?” Genny asked.

“For now, they aren’t,” Father replied. “And, as long as unrest is contained, they will respect our autonomy, I believe. I want to avoid any peacekeepers being deployed here. But it’s imperative we stay alert to any sign of trouble among the workers.”

“Is it possible the train attack came from within District 12?” Justin asked.

His father shook his head and reported that Sam, the Town Marshall and the head miners claimed there were no signs of any significant lingering discord after the mine explosion. He added that the forest dwellers had not been considered any kind of threat for years.

It was a lot to absorb, but, as the group continued to discuss events, Peeta’s thoughts turned to Katniss and her family at the mention of families living outside Cardinal.

“But it does pose a significant question,” Father said. “If this isn’t just localized protests within the districts, if there is actually some kind of organized subversive activity developing in the background— armed and acting across district lines right on our doorstep— we do need to be on top of it.”

Peeta perked up at that. The Everdeens were out there unprotected. If there were in fact rebels operating within their region, were Katniss and her family at risk?

“And we shouldn’t dismiss the possibility that the people living outside town may actually be sympathizers working to help these terrorists against us,” Russ added. “If they are being armed by instigators, we shouldn’t overlook them as a potential enemy.” Russ glanced briefly at him, and Peeta could feel a rush of anger stir inside him when his brother added, “Grandfather never trusted them, and he didn’t hesitate to eliminate the problem.”

The reference to what happened at Shelter Lake all those years ago, coupled with the suggestion that forest dwellers such as the Everdeens could be involved, was too much. Peeta turned to his father for some kind of rebuttal, but his father remained silent. Frustrated, he was about to speak when he felt a hand firmly gripping his arm. He looked up to see Arden shaking his head, so he leaned back in his seat. But his heart continued to beat almost painfully in his chest.

“Have you spoken to Billy?” Genny asked their father.

“Yes, briefly, but he was vague. He seemed reluctant to talk over the phone, but he’s planning an unscheduled trip home next month, on the pretense of discussing the progress on Hespera and the medicine factory, so perhaps we’ll learn more then.”

Russ responded by declaring, “When Billy gets back, I’m sure he’ll want to know more about these people who surround us, and whether they can be trusted or not.”

Peeta studied his father’s face and tried to decipher his reaction to Russ’s comments. While his face exuded the familiar unreadable expression, his eyes betrayed some kind of inner debate taking place inside his head. Peeta wondered if the rest of the people in the room noticed.

When his father finally spoke, he was ambiguous, “Yes, and perhaps we’ll have a better idea of which way the wind is blowing then.”

When the meeting concluded, Peeta quickly grabbed the gear that he'd abandoned outside the study and dropped it off in his room. He was troubled by what he had heard and decided to go find Arden.

He found the man in the back of his store, and without any preamble he blurted out, “Is Katniss in danger?”

Arden looked up from his paperwork and snorted, “Well ‘hello’ to you, too. And not even a ‘good to see you again’ for an old man.”

Peeta sighed, but then gave a grin when he saw the glint in Arden’s eyes.

The man blew out a deep breath and indicated to the chair across from him. Once Peeta had taken his seat, Arden spoke, but instead of answering his question, he asked his own. “Why do you think these rebels, or whoever they are, blew up the train and its cargo, but let your sister and the others go?”

Peeta was initially irritated at having his concerns ignored, but he sensed Arden was leading to something, so he rested his forearms on the table and gave it some thought.

He looked up at Arden with dawning realization. “Because they didn’t want to hurt the people, just target the Capitol.”

The large grin on Arden’s face confirmed it. “Doesn’t make sense to alienate the people you might want on your side. They’re figuring out that blowing up a bunch of miners or anybody else in the districts, including folks like the Everdeens, isn’t going to endear them to fight alongside them against the Capitol.”

“But what if these people come back, armed, like Father said, and they’re caught in the middle?”

“You think they’re the only ones in that situation? Right now I’d wager your father is in a much more dangerous position than families like them. They can afford to remain neutral because they aren’t a part of what we do here in Cardinal. If they encounter any anti-Capitol forces— which I’d say is a long shot anyway— it’s doubtful they’ll be seen as much of a threat. But your father, and the other district leaders… Well, they need to play this very carefully. You can be sure they are being watched closely. By both sides.”

Peeta thought about Arden’s words, and his father’s parting statement. “You mean he might side with the rebels? Even if they were behind sabotaging our mine or blowing up our coal?”

Arden scowled. “It isn’t pretty,” he admitted. “William may have agreements in place with the Capitol, but his promise to insure Cardinal’s continuing success is still his priority and takes precedence. Just like in the other districts, his trust of the Capitol will only go so far if he thinks he’s being played the fool.”

Peeta bit his lip, considering his next comment. Finally he decided to bring it up. “I don’t think he should trust Billy’s advice when he comes home.”

Arden raised an eyebrow and smirked. “Really? You came to that all by yourself?” he teased. “Don’t worry. Your father may be committed to handing over Cardinal to your siblings in due time, but he’s seen enough unsavory behavior in his life to be wary of what’s going on behind his back. He’ll still do what is best for Cardinal, whether Billy approves or not.”

“Why does Father do it? When they don’t even care about him?” Peeta asked.

Arden looked at him with tired eyes. “Because he made a promise. So long as they are all in agreement in their loyalty to Cardinal, not receiving your brothers’ gratitude is just something he’s prepared to accept. I doubt he ever expected it anyway.” He reached over to pat Peeta’s shoulder. “At least he has you and your sister he can count on.”

Peeta slumped back in his chair. It was sordid, all this town business, not to mention the distasteful family dynamic. At least Billy’s duplicity wasn’t a surprise to either Arden or his father. Maybe Arden was right about how he should be glad not to be involved. And he hoped Arden was justified in his confidence in his father’s ability to read the situation.

Arden gave his arm a squeeze. “Don’t worry about that girl of yours. This train thing— it didn’t have anything to do with them, they aren’t the enemy. For either side,” he added with emphasis. “Though I know your father would appreciate having them as allies if any of these rebels start showing up unannounced at our back door. But I doubt that’s going to happen anytime soon.”

Arden’s words left him feeling heavy-hearted despite his reassurances, so Peeta decided to change the subject. He was eager to concentrate on the more positive topic that had been on his mind while hiking home. He took out his sketchbook and opened it on the table in front of Arden.

“I want to put in an order for some things, as soon as the trains are back operating.” Peeta took out some of the money he'd saved from his work at the bakery and placed it down on Arden’s desk.

The store manager studied his sketches and notes for a moment, and then appraised Peeta with an amused half smile. “Doing renovations?”

 

When school let out a few days later, Peeta caught up with Danny and Glenn as they were exiting the building, before he headed to the bakery for his afternoon shift. Glenn had started apprenticing at the medicine factory after school, and Danny had been helping the town’s electrician out in maintaining their power grid, so there wasn’t a lot of time to spend together these days.

“I need your help with a project I’m working on,” Peeta announced to his friends. “But it means taking a weekend off sometime in the next month. Do you guys think you could get off work for it?”

The two boys looked at each other, shrugged, and then Danny asked, “What did you have in mind?”

“It would involve a camping trip out to the woods, to a lake I’ve spent some time at over the summers with Katniss and her family. It would mean carrying some heavy supplies and some work when we get there. But I promise it’ll be fun, too.”

The prospect of an adventure outside of town intrigued them. It was rare for anyone to venture outside Cardinal’s town boundaries. The two boys exchanged another look and, turning back to Peeta with broad grins, answered in unison, “We’re in!”

Next, he went to the bakery to clear his time off with Clara. After his shift, he sought out Abby. He was going to need her to cover for him at the bakery, and, with Clara’s approval in place, he described his plan to his friend.

She actually sighed and declared it to be very exciting and romantic. Peeta couldn’t help blush at Abby’s gushing, and was pleased at her approval. When he got up to leave he gave her a ‘thank you’ hug and a peck on the cheek.

As he left the boarding house, she giggled as she said, “I can’t wait to talk to Katniss when she gets back to town and I hear all about it from her!”

 

_Katniss_

Papa and Logan returned from Shelter Lake one afternoon in early October, and Logan announced that somebody had been at the cement house. Katniss and her mother looked up.

“And I have a pretty good idea who the ‘somebody’ is,” Papa said with a chuckle.

“What’s going on?” Mama asked.

Papa smiled mischievously. “Looks like it’s a surprise for Katniss,” he said and he winked at her. “And I’d say things are getting serious,” he murmured to her mother as he gave her a quick kiss as he walked past her to drop off his game bag. Katniss chewed her lip as she tried to guess what her father and Logan had likely discovered.

“What kind of surprise?” Violet demanded, an excited sparkle in her eyes.

“How about we let your sister go find out for herself,” Papa answered and patted the little girl’s head.

To which Violet replied, “Can I come? Pleeease,” she begged while looking entreatingly up at her big sister.

Katniss smiled and nodded. “Okay, you can come,” which elicited a hug from her little sister.

But she noticed that her mother was very quiet. “What’s wrong, Mama?” she asked, but as soon as the words were out of her mouth she knew. The pain of an old memory was written across her face. As much as Shelter Lake had become a place of happiness for Katniss and Peeta and the rest of her family, it only reminded her mother of the tragic events that had driven her family from the spot at the hands of the town people.

But then her mother gave a bittersweet smile and touched her daughter’s cheek. “It’s good. If it’s what I think it is.” She glanced over at her husband knowingly, before turning her attention back to her daughter. “It’s like setting things right after all this time somehow.”

Katniss contemplated her mother’s words and smiled. Who would have guessed all those years ago that a boy from town would be the one who’d help Mama change her mind about a place that represented so much sadness?

The next morning, after a fitful sleep, Katniss set out for the lake, taking Violet with her, as promised. Katniss wasn’t sure who was more excited, watching her little sister as she skipped and chattered along the way.

When they stepped through the doorway of the cement house, Violet let out a shout of delight. “Look Katniss! Windows!” She rushed to the back of the large room to peer out at the view of the cliffs behind the house. Katniss went to her side, and they both smiled at each other.

“Peeta’s building you a house,” Violet proclaimed.

“It’s already built, silly,” Katniss corrected her gently, nudging her shoulder.

“I know, but before it was just an old building. Now it’s starting to look like a real home.”

Katniss surveilled the large room. It was true. Where before there was only raw cement and her father’s fireplace, now there were signs of a dwelling. There were a few kitchen items on new shelves, and some small tools that hadn’t been there before. There was even a large sheet of canvas hanging across one of the walls. She ran her hand across the surface and smiled, imagining Peeta painting something cheerful on it to brighten up the otherwise dull interior.

“Katniss! Look at this!” Violet exclaimed.

Katniss joined her sister at the window that faced the lake. Her little sister brought her face up close to the pane, her nose almost touching it. But she wasn’t gazing at the view. When the little girl’s breath hit the cool glass it fogged up revealing a heart.

Violet turned to her with a big smile. “Peeta left you a message,” she giggled, then turned and did it again when her breath on the glass faded. “How’d he do that?”

“I don’t know,” Katniss replied, looking around. “Maybe with this,” she said, reaching for a jar of her mother’s medicinal balm that they left as part of the emergency provisions in the house.

“You should leave one for him too,” Violet declared, her eyes wide with mischief.

Katniss nudged her sister affectionately. “Okay, but what should I write?”

“Something romantic,” her sister said, and Katniss actually felt her own heart skip at her sister’s enthusiasm.

She thought for a moment, and then opened the jar. She dipped her finger into the translucent balm and was about to draw, but then on a whim, she smeared it onto her lips and, leaning forward, placed a kiss in the middle of the heart. She drew back and considered her handiwork.

Katniss glanced at her sister to check for her approval. Violet leaned forward and gave a deep exhalation on the glass, revealing the outline of full lips. Violet nodded in satisfaction, and Katniss slipped her arm around her sister’s shoulders and gave her a squeeze.

“It’s perfect,” Violet declared.


	15. Choosing Sides

**Chapter 14 - Choosing Sides**

_Katniss_

“That’s really good, Cricket,” Katniss said to her little sister as Violet practiced her alphabet at the kitchen table. Back in the summer, when Logan had teased his six-year-old sister about being woken up by her chirpy, cheerful voice in the early hours, the nickname had stuck. Violet was eager to learn to read, but so far had been reluctant to leave her family to attend school in Cardinal.

Their mother checked on the roasting goose that Katniss had brought in that morning, and began to set the table. Katniss sat beside Violet, completing homework assignments to turn in to her teachers on the next trading trip in a couple of weeks.

She leaned close to Violet’s ear and whispered, “And thank you for all your help with plucking the feathers.”

Violet glanced over at the ever-growing sack of duck and goose feathers in the corner and asked, “Do you have enough yet?”

“Not yet, but maybe I can make a pillow for Peeta’s birthday this year,” she winked. “I’ll need to buy the ticking fabric on our next trip to town, too.”

Her mother had made a feather bed for her father when they got married. The one that Katniss intended to make was destined one day for the cement house as part of her contribution to what her sister referred to as ‘building a home’. A downy cushion to soften the lumpy mattress of pine needles and dried grass. Thinking about it was distracting.

“Katniss?”

“Yes, Mama?” Katniss answered, disappointed that her daydream was interrupted.

Her mother shook her head and gave a soft laugh, “Would you go let your father and Logan know that dinner is almost ready? That is if you can tear yourself away from your studies which you seem to be enjoying so much.”

Katniss blushed. It was impossible to get away with anything in this family.

“I’ll go!” Violet piped up, slipped from the bench, and headed for the door. But as soon as she reached the porch’s outer entrance, she turned back and announced, “Mama, someone’s coming.”

Katniss and her mother joined Violet, watching a lone figure cross the distance from the woods to their home at a run.

“Fern?” Mama asked the breathless visitor.

Katniss was stunned. Fern Matheson was over a year younger than her, and the girl she remembered bore no resemblance to the person in front of her. While they shared the same coloring, this girl was taller than Katniss and had a kind of fearsome beauty that seemed to transcend her age. Despite her flushed face from what had undoubtably been an arduous hike, she exuded a surly confidence when she addressed them.

“My brother disturbed a wasp’s nest while we were felling trees. He got stung up really bad, and we ran out of your sting poultice. He keeps throwing up, and Mama said to come fetch you.”

“Go get Papa,” Mama ordered Violet, and her sister jumped down the steps and ran out to the smoke house where he and Logan were working. Mama led Fern inside the house and asked, “Which brother?”

Gradually catching her breath, Fern replied that he was the youngest, only four-years-old. Mama nodded and continued to ask more questions about the number of stings and the boy’s symptoms as she went to the shelf and took down several containers that held her medicinal herbs.

“It isn’t an allergic reaction. Sounds more like a reaction from excessive venom,” she murmured more to herself than to them. “Katniss, go put together some supplies for the two of us, enough for at least a couple of days.”

Katniss’s heart sank. It was Friday, and she'd hoped to slip away to Shelter Lake tomorrow morning on the off chance that Peeta might show up again over the weekend. But she knew there was no way she could refuse her mother’s request. She also cringed, thinking about what they might face. Her mother was so much better at this. Even Violet handled it better, but Katniss knew her mother counted on her to not only escort her the almost four miles back from the Mathesons', but for her to learn from the experience she accumulated growing up at her mother’s side.

 _‘One day you’ll have a family of your own, and you’ll need to know these things if I’m not there,’_ Mama often said. Katniss reminded herself of this whenever the sight of some gory injury or disturbing infection caused waves of nausea or panic to rise up inside her. She packed a few of her mother’s things along with her own, and returned to the front room.

Once Papa was informed of their plans, Violet asked, “Can I come, too?”

After a moment of deliberation, Mama nodded and told her to go get her pack. While her sister climbed up the ladder to the loft to get her things, Mama gave Papa a hug and kiss and told him that dinner was ready. Papa pulled her into a longer hug and told her to hurry home.

Fern held out a small bag to her mother of what was likely a payment for her services. “It’s not much, but Papa didn’t want to slow me down coming here and said we’d pay you the rest when you got there.”

Mama set the bag down on the table without looking at the contents. “Don't worry about that right now. Let’s just get back to your home.” Mama picked up her own bag of medical supplies and led the way to the door.

Katniss noticed that Logan was oddly silent. He stood over beside the stove, his eyes on Fern as she followed Mama out the door. She couldn’t help smirk. _‘Apparently I’m not the only one who’s noticed how striking Fern is,’_ Katniss thought. If there had been time, she would have teased him for the goofy expression on his face to make up for all the times she'd been on the receiving end of his ribbing over Peeta.

By the time they reached the Mathesons' it was already getting late. The hike was strenuous, covering difficult terrain. Both of Fern’s parents had grown up with Mama at Shelter Lake, and they welcomed her mother warmly before urgently leading her to their sick son.

Katniss assisted as her mother cleaned and dressed the small boy’s swollen limbs and assessed his symptoms. It didn’t seem to matter how many times she had helped her mother, it never got easier. Amazingly, Violet was unfazed through it all. She was fascinated by everything, eager to help, efficient, and calm.

The swelling began to respond to Mama’s poultice, which she made from the plantain leaves that grew on the outskirts of Cardinal. Next, Mama brewed up a tea to treat the boy’s nausea from the wasp venom.

“What is that?” Fern’s mother asked sniffing the unfamiliar brew.

“It’s ginger root. Jack traded for it in Cardinal. They bring it in on the trains.”

The Mathesons exchanged a tense look. They were suspicious of all trade that happened with Cardinal. It was typical of any family who had ties to Shelter Lake and the conflict that had happened there. It was clear that both of them still harbored ill feelings toward town people.

Guileless Violet assumed it was because they were uncertain their son would be willing to try the pungent tea. “It’s tastes good!” she insisted and took a sip of it to show them. “It’s even better if you add a little honey, like Peeta showed us. It’s how we learned about it in the first place, from his cook.”

She was confused by their speechlessness, and added, “Or sugar is good, too,” looking at her mother and Katniss for some clue of what was the source of the problem.

“Who’s Peeta?” Mr. Matheson, inquired warily.

Before she or Mama could respond, Violet answered with a big grin, “He’s Katniss’s boyfriend from Cardinal. His family runs the town, and he comes to live with us every summer.”

Katniss clenched her teeth when she saw their eyes widen and the way they looked at each other. Violet didn’t understand. She’d grown up with Peeta being a part of their lives. His family history meant nothing to her, but Katniss recalled her anger from when she was eight and it was her mother who'd reacted this way.

With barely concealed revulsion, Mr. Matheson said, “You’d actually welcome a member of that family into your home, Laurel?”

Katniss’s temper was rising, and she answered for her mother, “People shouldn’t be judged for what others did in the past.”

Mama shot her a stern look, and Violet looked confused.

“We love Peeta,” her sister insisted, now visibly upset.

Katniss knew that these people were part of a group that never traded in Cardinal, only indirectly through others, such as themselves, when absolutely necessary. She thought about how the old resentments still existed for them. Her mother had long abandoned such feelings. Because of Peeta, she realized. The Mathesons didn’t have him in their lives, and they didn’t know that not everyone from Cardinal was to be distrusted. It was time someone set them straight.

“You don’t know him or his family, or how they’ve helped us,” she spat out. “We wouldn’t be able to treat your son if it wasn’t for the herbs that come from Cardinal.”

Mr. Matheson seemed to relent, but there was accusation in his voice when he spoke. “Well, maybe you’re prepared to trust those people, but others apparently aren’t. Some even seem to be wanting to stir up trouble for them.”

“What are you talking about, Chase?” Mama asked, concern creasing her brow.

Mr. Matheson described seeing smoke and how he had spotted a burning train from over a month ago. “I’d say someone has it out for the McIntyres, or maybe this so-called government out west. I hear the rumors that it’s folks from other parts.”

Katniss went pale. This was more disturbing than the mine explosion, which she’d assumed was just an accident at the time. Now she wasn’t so sure.

“I’d be careful if I was you about who I let get close to me and my family,” the man warned.

They spent the rest of the night and next morning in uncomfortable silence. During the night, Katniss’s anger had morphed into worry. With Violet snuggled up on one side of her and Mama’s hand supportively clasping hers on the other side, she managed to calm herself enough to catch a few hours sleep. The next day, Mama declared that the Matheson boy was stable, and left instructions and more medications for his care. Meanwhile, Katniss gritted her teeth and tried to keep from rushing out the door and all the way to Cardinal to seek out Peeta for answers.

About an hour into the Everdeens' walk home, Violet broke the silence. “Why don’t they like Peeta?” she asked, distressed but finally willing to speak.

Violet hadn’t heard the story about Shelter Lake. It hadn’t seemed as relevant over the years since Peeta had come into their life. Mama quietly explained the altercation, and they all agreed it was unfair to cling to the old resentments, given their experiences over the past years. But Katniss could tell she wasn't alone in her concern over what the Mathesons had reported.

 

_Peeta_

Peeta set the apple muffins on the kitchen counter to cool as Agnes gave the pot of stew a taste.

“Thank you, dear, for your help,” she said. “I know Sunday is your only day off from school and the bakery. But I miss having you around here.”

He gave her an affectionate kiss on the cheek in reply. Billy had come in on the early morning train, and as soon as the cook came home from church, she'd tied into preparing a welcome midday dinner, anticipating a family gathering.

Just when Agnes declared that she were ready to serve it up, Mabel, entered and announced, “Mr. McIntyre says they won’t have time for dinner, and to just set aside a plate for him for later.” The maid retrieved a bowl off the shelf and ladled some stew into it for herself.

Agnes gave a disapproving huff and said to Peeta, “Well, so much for all your effort.”

“It’s okay, I was mostly interested in hanging out here with you,” Peeta replied, which made her smile.

The fact was, Peeta hadn’t been looking forward to another formal family get-together anyway. He was torn between sticking close to home to satisfy his curiosity over any news Billy brought from the Capitol, and wanting to avoid seeing him. Retreating to the kitchen and baking with Agnes had seemed to be a reasonable compromise.

His eldest brother and father had spent the first part of the morning meeting privately in the study. Billy then left to go talk with Justin to get updated about the factory’s medicine production. Shortly after that, Russell had shown up from Hespera and he and Billy met again with Father.

From the kitchen window, they could see Russell walking to the train station with Billy to see him off for the return trip to the Capitol.

“Well, it must not have been a very important meeting if Billy is heading back so soon,” Agnes declared, and Mabel just shrugged.

He wasn’t going to find any answers here in the kitchen, Peeta realized. He went to get a basket from the shelf, filled it with muffins, and said to Agnes, “If we aren’t going to need all of these, I think I’ll take some over to Arden.”

As soon as he entered the square, he saw Genny leaving the clinic and changed course to intercept her.

She gave him a tired smile, “Are you heading to Arden’s?” she asked.

He nodded and held up the basket. “Agnes and I made more than we needed. Everyone’s skipping dinner, too busy with meetings. And Billy’s not staying.”

Genny reached over and grabbed a muffin and chuckled, “You just reminded me I missed breakfast. And lunch.” She broke off a piece and ate as they walked to the store.

“You look exhausted,” Peeta said, “Did you have a busy morning?”

She looked at him appraisingly, as if debating how to answer his question. “I guess I’ll miss seeing Billy this trip,” she answered. “We had an expectant mother go into labor and it was a difficult delivery. Justin and I were both up all night. But the newborn and mother are now resting comfortably. As soon as I pick up the supplies we ordered, and check in with Father, I’m going home for a nap myself.”

“Oh,” Peeta replied, disappointed that any news from Billy didn’t come up, but quickly added, “I’m glad your patients are okay.”

Velma, one of the assistants, was getting ready to close up and leave for the afternoon when they entered the General Store. Arden claimed that reducing the hours on Sunday was part of his retirement plan, but Peeta knew it was to give his helpers the time off. It helped that there were other shops in town now to share the responsibility of providing for the town’s needs, too.

They found the store manager in the back sorting through the inventory that had arrived on the train that morning. Arden looked up and motioned to a pile of boxes. “I expect you’re here for those,” he said to Genny.

She sat down at the table next to Peeta and reached for a second muffin from his basket. “Yes, but first I’m going to take a well-earned break and enjoy what my brother brought you.”

Arden barked, “Who said you could eat my muffins?” But he smirked and grabbed one for himself and joined them. “So, how did your meeting with your brother go?” he asked, not mincing words.

Genny met Arden’s hazel eyes with just as intense a look in her pale blue ones. “Actually I didn’t see him at all. Justin met with him alone while I tended a patient. We expected it was just for a progress report on the new medicine trials.” She paused. “I still can’t believe what my husband told me after. Though, I guess neither of us should be surprised by what Billy had to say.”

“Surprised by what exactly?” They all turned to see Father enter the back room.

Genny indicated to the spare chair, inviting her father to join them. “We’ve been getting all kinds of excuses for delays from District 3. Claims that we’re being bumped down the line due to high priority Capitol projects. They keep giving us the run-around when we remind them we’re paying for their work.”

Peeta could see his father’s eyes narrow. He knew that they were under a lot of financial pressure and any delays were costly. 

Genny bit her lip as if reluctant to say what came next. “When Justin brought it up, Billy suggested that if we were willing to turn our facility over to the military’s bio-weapons division, the Capitol would be very generous in compensation.”

Peeta’s mouth dropped open in shock. He’d learned enough of biology in school and spent enough time with the Everdeens to know how dangerous different plants and animals in nature could be. His own encounter with the snake came to mind, and the fact that his family’s research could be used to enhance these dangers instead of their healing properties was horrifying.

In a measured voice his father asked, “What did Justin say to him?”

Genny furrowed her brow. “I know what you’re really asking, Father. Because Justin is from the Capitol. You want to know where his loyalties lie.”

Everyone was quiet as they waited for her to continue. It was on everyone’s mind these days. Taking sides and establishing loyalties.

Genny sat up straight and her expression was almost defiant when she spoke again. “Justin told Billy emphatically that he came here to find ways to heal people, not hurt them. He said he doesn’t care whom they are fighting, if the Capitol wants to fight that way, they’ll need to find someone else to help them do it.”

Father gave a small nod of approval and leaned back in his chair. “How did Billy take that?”

Genny gave a nervous chuckle. “Not enthusiastically. But he was even less impressed with what my husband said next.” Father cocked his eyebrows in inquiry. “Justin said he’d burn the factory down before he’d allow it.” Even Arden gasped.

“Well, it’s reassuring to know where your husband stands, but it might have been rash to say it in those terms,” Father answered.

Genny shook her head. “I know. We were both really tired. But I’m still proud of him for saying it. This factory is for our future, to build something sustainable to benefit all of us. But I’m still worried.”

Father let out a deep breath. “At least the mines are back to full capacity. But I’m concerned that District 5 and 13 are putting pressure on our markets. However, if we can keep up our current pace, and we stay on track with the factory, we can meet our obligations for now.”

“The medicines we’ve released to market are showing promise, but how can we meet our financial obligations if we keep getting delays in District 3?” Genny asked. “We have another payment coming due to cover the construction costs of the factory, not to mention the salaries of our workers.” She couldn’t hide the concern in her voice.

Father ran his hand through his blond hair and leaned forward and spoke in a quiet voice. “I may not be able to hold back on passing along the increased tax much longer.”

Arden was the first to reply. “That’s not going to help matters here. One of the reasons we’ve been able to avoid the unrest in Cardinal, unlike in other districts, is because you haven’t done that.”

The corner of Father’s mouth turned down in a bitter scowl as he locked eyes with his friend. “I may not have a choice.”

Genny sat forward and tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear. “Look, we’re all on Cardinal’s side, right? Maybe Billy thinks the Capitol is offering the best choice, which makes sense since he’s spent so much time there. But it doesn’t mean we don’t all want what’s best for District 12. We just need to try to find some common ground, and come up with some solutions together.”

Father nodded and looked at his daughter approvingly. “I’ll have a talk with Russell next, and see what he has to say about his meeting with Billy."

Genny pushed herself back from the table and massaged the kink in her neck. “I’d better get those supplies to the clinic.” She inspected the shipping labels and selected one carton.

Father rose and went to pick up the remaining two boxes. “I’ll help you with these. I’d like to talk further with Justin anyway. Fill you both in on my own meeting with your brother.”

“Just promise not to tire him out, okay? It’s been a very long day,” Genny pleaded. “We can all meet tomorrow, and discuss this further if need be,” she said as they made their way to the door.

The two of them exited the store, leaving Peeta alone with Arden.

“Okay, out with it. You haven’t said a word, and I know there’s something rattling around in that head of yours,” the store manager demanded.

“If we’re all trying to do what’s best for Cardinal, which side do we pick? If it’s between the Capitol and the rebels?”

Arden gave a sarcastic laugh. “The winning side."

Peeta gave him a pained expression. “But what side is the right side to support? If we don’t like what the Capitol is doing, wouldn’t it be wrong to go along with them?”

Arden looked at him and the cynicism was unmistakable when he answered. “Just because one side is wrong doesn’t make the other side automatically right. Sometimes all you can do is look out for the people that matter to you, which is what William is trying to do. Because, right now, we aren’t in a position to be choosy.”

Peeta shook his head. At least Katniss and her family were far removed from all of this.

 

_Katniss_

Katniss, Violet, and their father entered the General Store just before noon on a Saturday in late October. Katniss was glancing around when Arden chuckled, “He’s not here, but if I know anything about that boy, he won’t be far away.”

Almost on cue they heard the bells jingle at the front door. Peeta entered and rushed to hug Katniss. She buried her face in his wool sweater and breathed in the scent of him. “I missed you,” she whispered.

“Me, too,” he whispered into her hair. “I got your message.”

Katniss pulled away just enough to look into his eyes and asked, “When were you there?”

“The weekend after I left you my message,” he said with a grin.

She gave an adoring smile in reply. “I tried to come back the weekend after that, hoping you’d be there, but Mama needed me to help treat a sick boy.”

“I’d planned to, but Billy came home from the Capitol and I wanted to know what was going on.”

Papa spoke up, interjecting, “I was hoping you might have some information for us, Arden. Laurel learned from a family she was helping that there’s been trouble.” He relayed what they had heard. “What’s going on in the rest of Panem?”

Arden downplayed the situation. He placed the blame on economic strife, but as he helped her father unload his items for trade, he asked if they had seen any sign of activity outside what was normal. Papa replied that he hadn’t personally, to which Arden replied, “Well, other than the train, it’s all just rumor and bluster right now for our district. I’m sure it’ll work itself out.”

They went to help Violet collect the items on Mama’s list, and Peeta took Katniss’s arm and pulled her to the side.

“I’m not sure if I totally agree with Arden,” he said furtively. “He thinks Father can keep things under control in Cardinal and believes District 12 is far enough removed from the unrest. But there is trouble, Katniss. In other districts. And I know my father is worried it may spill over our borders.”

They prepared to head home soon, due to the shorter days, but after completing their trading, they were surprised when Agnes came in to inform them that they were invited to join Mr. McIntyre for an early dinner. When they'd finished their meal, Peeta’s father indicated to Papa that he wished to speak privately with him as they were readying to leave.

They sent Violet to collect the cookies that Agnes had set aside for them in the kitchen, and Peeta led Katniss out the front door. They stood beside the gate that faced onto the town square, and she wrapped her arms around his waist as they waited for their fathers.

“It’s just a little over a month, and you’ll be back,” Peeta whispered, hugging her close.

Katniss nodded and out of the corner of her eye she saw her father and Violet exit the house. She leaned in to give Peeta a kiss goodbye and tried her best to give him a playful smile. But she could see her own anxiety reflected in his blue eyes as he gave her a smile in return. He gave her a kiss of his own. It was lingering and she could sense a hint of worry in his reluctance to release her.

“Look,” Peeta said when they pulled apart. “I know Father will do his best to protect Cardinal. He’s still trying to figure out what’s going on. But this doesn’t have to change our plans, right? Nothing is going to stop me from wanting to spend the rest of my life with you, Katniss. I’m going to focus on fixing up the house at the lake, on building a future together. So let’s promise to stay positive, okay?”

Katniss nodded in solidarity. “I’m not interested in taking sides,” she replied, hoping her voice sounded braver than she felt. “I don’t care about anything else. Just you.”

Once she, Violet and Papa entered the woods, Katniss found the courage to ask Papa what he and Mr. McIntyre had discussed.

“He was careful with his words. Mostly telling me how highly he thinks of you, and how fond his son is of you.” Papa paused before continuing. “He said he hoped we knew that we could come to him if we ever had any concerns.”

“Concerns?” Katniss asked, perplexed. “Why would we have any concerns about Peeta and me?”

“I didn’t get the impression he was talking about the two of you. Because he mentioned that he and Cardinal were always open to trading for us… and anyone else who wished to come here.”

“What do you think he meant?” she asked.

“I think he was letting me know that he’s hoping we’ll keep him informed about the rumors. That he’s letting us know he’s not fully on board with the Capitol, and open to hearing what we have to say, especially if it has to do with unrest outside Cardinal.”

“That’s what Peeta said, too,” Katniss replied. “It sounds like his father is worried.” She thought for a moment before asking, “Papa? Do you trust him?”

Katniss wasn’t sure if she wanted to hear the answer. Even though Peeta himself had a strained relationship with his father, the thought that their families could be on opposite sides of a potential conflict didn’t sit well with her, and she knew it would hurt Peeta. But she needed to know.

“So far, he hasn’t given me any reason to distrust him. But fear makes people unpredictable. Dangerous even. I think for Peeta’s sake I’ll give his father, and Arden, the benefit of the doubt. But I think it’s important to try to stay out of this fight. If we can.”

Somehow that wasn’t the answer Katniss was hoping for, and for the rest of the walk home she grew ever more troubled.


	16. Two Halves of a Whole

**Chapter Fifteen - Two Halves of a Whole**

_Katniss_

“Katniss!” Agnes exclaimed when she entered the kitchen door. “We weren’t expecting you until next week.”

It wasn’t even December yet, but a winter chill had swept in, almost overnight it seemed. Katniss had come to town on its heels, arriving in Cardinal barely before the first snowflakes.

Impatient, and not willing to get caught up in a lengthy discussion with the cook, she asked, “Is Peeta home? He wasn’t at the bakery.”

Agnes winked and tipped her head toward the hall. “He’s upstairs studying before supper, which will be ready in an hour. You're staying, I hope.”

Katniss nodded and without further delay rushed out of the kitchen, up the stairs, and down the hall to Peeta’s room. The door was slightly ajar, and she could see him lying on his bed with some kind of object in his hands. As soon as she entered, he quickly placed it in a drawer. But she didn’t have any time to puzzle about it, because he was off the bed and pulling her into his arms.

“What are you doing here so soon?” he said after he’d kissed her.

“I could leave and come back next week, if you’d prefer,” she teased.

He pulled her back in for another possessive hug. “No way. I’m just surprised.”

“Papa said a storm’s coming. I didn’t want to risk getting snowed in. I needed to be here with you.”

It was a profound admission for her. As much as she loved the woods compared to town and being with her family, she felt adrift being separated from Peeta. More so now with how things had been for the district and beyond its borders.

Peeta took her hand and led her to sit down beside him on the bed. “I’m glad you’re here, too. It seems like it isn't just the weather that’s threatening to storm,” he said. Small lines formed between his eyes. “Is there any news?”

She knew he was inquiring about rebel rumors. She shook her head, “No. Nothing.” He nodded, relieved. “What about in Cardinal?” she asked.

Peeta sighed. “It’s been okay. Maybe Arden is right about all of this blowing over— that the unrest in the country will settle, and things will get back to normal.”

“What does your father think?”

He was hesitant as he answered. “I don’t think he agrees. He’s worried about how people will react when he increases the tribute tax in the new year. The leader from District 13 is here, meeting with Father right now.”

“Is that out of the ordinary?” she asked.

“Yeah. Ever since the Capitol stopped all inter-district trade, requiring us to send all products to them to redistribute to the rest of Panem, we’ve had fewer reasons to interact directly. I don’t know what it means, but I know Father's had suspicions about what they’re up to in District 13.”

“Maybe we’ll find out.” she replied.

He shrugged. “Maybe. They’re probably all just trying to figure out what’s going on throughout Panem.”

“How is the trading going?”

“The new medicines— it’s too soon to say. Justin says it takes years to determine success, but Russ claims the coal production is on track.”

“You actually talk with him?” she asked incredulously.

“I know. It’s weird, but things between us have been… better lately. Less confrontational.”

“That’s good, isn’t it?”

“I don’t know. Something doesn’t feel right. I know he talks to Billy a lot. But Arden says things are under control.”

“But you don’t believe him.”

He looked at her with piercing eyes. “I think everyone is worried, but no one wants to talk about it. It’s like we’re all holding our breath, watching over our backs.” He touched her cheek and rested his forehead against hers. “But it’s better with you here.”

“I know. That’s why I had to come.” She nestled her cheek on his shoulder, safe and warm.

 

On May 8th, Katniss, Peeta, Genny, Justin, Abby, Danny and Glenn were all congregated at the bakery to celebrate Katniss’s sixteenth birthday. As they shared the elaborately-decorated cake Peeta had made, Clara mentioned that she and Garnett were going to miss Abby’s help that summer at the bakery, now that she’d decided on her new vocation. All the while, Genny bounced Clara’s baby boy on her knee.

“With Peeta gone, too, it’ll be a handful for us,” Garnett continued. “And it takes time to train someone new.”

“Are you sure you won’t change your mind?” Clara pleaded in vain with Peeta. She appealed to Katniss, too, to reconsider, because they all knew he’d only stay in Cardinal if she agreed. The awkward silence was broken when Genny made a face at the infant on her lap, making him giggle to everyone’s amusement. Katniss wondered when she and Justin would start a family of their own.

“Well, your loss is Genny’s and my gain,” Justin teased.

Abby had expressed interest in training to be a nurse, and was spending her weekends working at the clinic.

“She has such a wonderful bedside manner,” Genny gushed.

Most of the groups’ eyes fell on Abby, whose blushing reaction was interpreted as a modest expression of pride, but Peeta nudged Katniss and nodded toward Danny, whose eyes were wide and his face turning red. They looked at each other in understanding.

“Guess Genny isn’t the only one familiar with Abby’s bedside manner,” Peeta snickered quietly, causing Katniss to barely contain a giggle.

Later, as the two of them sat on the step outside the boarding house, she admired her new boots that Peeta had the cobbler make especially for her as his birthday gift. They were made from her family’s own softest leather, but were more finely constructed than anything they made. They laced up and had durable but quiet soles, excellent for hunting. Katniss flowers were engraved into the leather down the front, flanking the lacing eyelets. Peeta had tooled the design himself. He was fond of carving, as well as drawing and painting, but this was a new expression of his talent.

Katniss knew he loved the pillow she’d made for his birthday. She’d shared it with him just the other night, and she recalled waking up snuggled so close that both their heads were resting on it. 

She was surprised that her gift from Peeta didn’t have anything to do with the small object he had tried to hide from her the day she arrived.  _'Maybe it’s intended for something else,'_ she thought, but the mystery intrigued her. She hadn’t told him about the feather bed yet. Maybe they both had secret gifts awaiting the right time to be given.

As she reflected on how she was close to accumulating enough feathers to complete her project, an old, persistent doubt, like a feather from her collection, tickled at the back of her mind. She squeezed Peeta’s hand intertwined with her own and turned to him, her countenance revealing her concern. Clara’s words repeated in her thoughts.

“Peeta, are you sure about leaving Cardinal one day? You love your work at the bakery. I worry that…”

Her words dropped off and remained unspoken. How could she say it? That he was giving up a vocation, a life in the home that offered him this promising future just to be with her. Would he one day look at her with regret and resentment if she took him away from it all?

To his credit, Peeta didn’t dismiss her question with automatic reassurances. He sat quietly for a moment considering his answer, and she was grateful. They would have no life together if there was denial between them and they ignored the truth. He ran his thumb over the top of her hand and then looked up.

With a resolute expression in his blue eyes he answered. “You know I love being with you in the woods. It doesn’t hold anything but happy thoughts for me. Cardinal has options, but it has painful memories, too. There are people here I love, but none can compete with you.” He paused, and then added, “Besides, I’ll still bake. But I’ll just have one customer.” The corners of his mouth turned up. “I think she enjoys it most anyway, and since she’s my favourite, the others are no matter.”

Katniss fell into his arms and relief washed over her. And she smiled into his chest, her arms encircling his waist as she mused to herself that maybe one day there would be more than one person who would get to enjoy his baking, out in the woods at their little home by the lake.

 

Early one Sunday morning, hours before the first musical notes would pour out of the church, Katniss sneaked into Peeta’s room. She woke him up, and, in the partial darkness, they made their way out to the edge of the forest. They had grabbed a few items for a light breakfast, and by the time they reached her intended spot a short distance off the trail to Halfway Lake, the sun was just appearing above the mountains in the east. They watched it rise together in companionable silence.

“It’s beautiful here,” Peeta said in an almost reverent whisper. The vantage spot provided a view over the valley and far beyond, past Aurora to the northeast of them. “Why didn’t you bring me here before?”

“I didn’t discover it until last fall on my way home with Papa. We generally don’t hunt this far from home, but we heard wild turkeys and they led us up here. With winter coming it was too tempting to pass up.”

They ate their humble breakfast, but in this majestic spot it felt like a feast.

“We’ll come back when those blackberries are ripe,” Katniss added, pointing to the bushes beside them. Peeta put his arm around her shoulders and basked in the sun. He mentioned that they were going to miss her voice today in the choir, to which Katniss replied that today her voice was only for the two of them and the sanctuary of the forest. After she had sung a song he'd requested, she rose to walk over to where early wildflowers were blooming. Within a few minutes she'd picked a generous bouquet. Peeta joined her and selected an orange sprig of indian paintbrush to place behind her ear.

“Let’s stop at your mother’s grave on the way back, so we can give these to her,” she said, and she thought she detected a flicker of sadness in Peeta’s eyes. But it was quickly replaced with one of gratitude. She didn’t need to ask to know that is wasn’t remembrance of Marigold, lost so many years ago, but for her willingness to honor his mother for his sake.

They placed the flowers beside the recently planted marigolds. It always made Peeta wistful when he saw them, knowing he wasn’t the only one who missed her. It made Katniss sad that she had never met his mother.

They made their way back into town, hand in hand. But when they approached his house they were perplexed to see some kind of commotion going on at the train station— more than usual even for a typical Sunday when the trains arrived with their latest loads.

“Come on,” Peeta said through gritted teeth, and Katniss could feel his body tensing. The brief reprieve of the last few months vanished as her gut told her something was wrong. Katniss tightened her grip on his hand, and they began to run.

When they rounded the house they were met with a startling sight. Mr. McIntyre was face to face with an imposing man dressed in a uniform with what, at closer view, appeared to be the Capitol’s insignia. Behind him, instead of the usual supplies being unloaded, dozens of similarly dressed men were disembarking.

“What's going on?” Peeta’s father demanded, constrained anger on his face. “We didn’t request peacekeeper presence. We haven’t any need for it here.”

The tall man with the hard face— it looked like it could have been chiseled out of granite— said nothing as the two men stared each other down.

Finally the man in uniform handed over some kind of document and announced, “Orders from the Capitol.” Mr. McIntyre opened the sealed envelope and read it with a grim expression on his face. The man responded to Mr. McIntyre’s silence with an authoritative edge. “Things are going to change around here.”

All the morning’s joy vanished as Katniss felt Peeta’s hand almost crush hers.

Later that day, they gathered in the McIntyre dining room, their Sunday dinner spread out before them. Katniss scanned the people sitting around the table, which comprised of Peeta’s family and Arden. Everyone was anxious for answers.

Justin spoke first. “Why are they sending in troops to District 12? Sure, there’s been some grumbling about the tax increase, but we've barely needed Sam and his deputies to deal with it. And it certainly hasn't been the kind of unrest that warrants peacekeepers.”

“There’s been another incident,” Mr. McIntyre announced, and he tossed the document he’d received over to Arden who sat adjacent to him. They all looked expectantly at the store manager as he scanned the page. “District 5’s hydro has been targeted by unknown forces and is out of commission,” Peeta’s father summarized. “The Capitol is putting pressure on us to make up for power shortfall. We are being ordered to reallocate all effort and manpower to the mines.”

“What?” Genny asked. “They aren’t including the workers in the factory, are they?”

Her father nodded and added, “We’re being ordered to do whatever is necessary to increase the number of available laborers. That means suspend any ‘non-essential’ services.”

“They’re just pissed off that we wouldn’t bow to their pressure and convert to weapons manufacturing,” Justin retorted, his face displaying disgust.

Katniss glanced at Russell who remained silent. He'd been promoted to Head Foreman when the previous one had passed away. His eyes were directed at his plate, but she could see his focus was elsewhere.

Peeta spoke next. “But that still doesn’t explain the peacekeepers.”

Russell lifted his head, and, looking across at Peeta, answered, “They’re here to ensure there’s no resistance to the new mandate, that the miners will comply with my direction.” Katniss thought she detected a slight emphasis on the word ‘my’ when he spoke.

“More than that,” Mr. McIntyre continued, his voice guarded, “They are imposing a five mile perimeter patrol around Cardinal. Anyone within that perimeter is ordered to be removed for security reasons.”

His eyes fell on Katniss and she saw strain in them. “That means the Everdeens.”

“What?!” Peeta exclaimed as Katniss felt herself grow numb. “They aren’t a threat to anyone!” he argued.

His father used a conciliatory tone as he responded. “I’ve already spoken to our new commander about your family, Katniss. Explained how they have been associates of our family, and that their own daughter is close to us.” He gave her a look that communicated a kind of apology. “In exchange for allowing them to remain, I have guaranteed that they will act as our informants of any rebel activity in their area outside Cardinal.”

Katniss glanced over at Peeta sitting beside her to gauge his response and saw that it was the same as hers. How could Mr. McIntyre promise such a thing? Strip her family of their choice of whom to align themselves with. While she was no more certain of these mysterious rebels, she knew now that the Capitol presence posed every bit as much of a threat to their lives.

“This is totally unfair,” Peeta blurted out. “They aren’t a part of our work here. They just trade with us. And my relationship with Katniss and her family is personal.”

“Maybe it’s time we find out where all the loyalties lie,” Russell answered. “If trouble is coming, I’d like to know. So would Billy.” His eyes scanned the people sitting around the table. His face was almost accusatory.

Dinner was over quickly, with everyone barely touching their meals. Russell left to return to his work, and Mr. McIntyre told Genny and Justin he wished to speak with them later. He indicated to Peeta and Katniss to follow him to his study. Once the door was closed he addressed Katniss.

“I’m sorry, Katniss, I didn’t want to implicate your family. They didn’t give me any choice. But we all need to play their game, at least for now. Your father is aware of my concerns on this issue. With the things that are happening in the districts, the Capitol is trying to restrict communication, to place prohibitions against unauthorized visits between district leaders. We’re being isolated from each other, being forced to follow their lead.”

“So what are we supposed to do?” she asked.

“For now, nothing. Just carry on as usual, but you need to warn your family. They will be watched.” He paused, “Along with the rest of us.”

The atmosphere was grave in the room. But Peeta’s father gave a deep sigh, and then he added softly, “Maybe this will pass when District 5 is back on line. Once the crisis is over, maybe they’ll see fit to call back their troops.” She could see he didn’t believe his words any more than she did. “It isn’t much, but it’s a small hope for now at least,” he added.

There were several weeks of school left, but there was no way Katniss was prepared to postpone getting home to inform her family of what had happened. Peeta announced he was coming, too, but she insisted that he finish out the school year first, arguing that it wasn’t necessary for them both to deliver the news.

“Besides, Garnett and Clara are already upset that you’re leaving them without their best employee for the summer,” she said with a smirk, attempting to add levity.

“Especially now if workers grow scarce with the new mandate from the Capitol,” he answered, not responding to her teasing.

Peeta took some convincing, and more than a few kisses and promises of the summer to come, before he relented and gave her a smile.

“Let’s meet up at Shelter Lake the weekend school finishes,” she suggested. “Just the two of us. We can work some more on the house. It’ll be even better than if we came home together. I’m just glad that it's safely outside the perimeter.” Shelter Lake fell barely outside the five mile zone, but it was a small comfort that at least it would remain free of intrusion. Peeta gave her a quizzical look as she gave him her best seductive smile. She knew he couldn’t resist that. It helped take the edge off of what had transpired that day.

The day she left, she held his face between her hands, unable to stand the distress she saw there. “I’m going to dream about the lake,” she whispered, “And you.” She fervently kissed him then quickly slipped away before her own worries could unravel her resolve.

 

_Peeta_

Peeta spent a considerable amount of his free time watching the activity around their Town Marshall’s office from the comfortable distance of the General Store. The peacekeepers had set up a temporary operations center there while a more permanent place was being built. Any suggestion that the troop’s presence in District 12 was a temporary arrangement began to disappear as the new barracks were framed and finished to house them.

Once the reality had become established, Peeta determined to get a better handle on the situation, so he watched. His friend, Glenn, whose father was a deputy, kept him informed as best he could. Over the next week, Peeta began to pick up on things. Commander Granger was to be avoided. His second in command, however, was a genial twenty-something who actually made an effort to warm up to the locals.

While Cardinal and its satellite outposts groaned under the new mandate of forced production, Peeta desperately looked for an avenue to ingratiate himself with this new presence. Not because he accepted them, but because, until something changed, they were a reality he had no other way to defend against. And protecting Katniss and her family was foremost on his mind.

One evening, the young lieutenant happened to approach the General Store as Peeta passed by on his way home after his shift at the bakery.

“Hey there,” he said cheerfully. “You’re McIntyre’s son, aren't you?” Peeta nodded warily, which the fellow seemed to overlook. “I hear the proprietor of this store makes a fine local whiskey.”

It seemed like half a request and half a statement, but the opening was there, so Peeta decided to engage him. “Yeah, that’s Arden you’re looking for. He’s inside, and I could introduce him to you if you like.”

“Well, that would be terrific,” the soldier said with a broad grin.

Peeta led the way inside the store. By the end of the transaction, he and Arden were given a wealth of information about the peacekeeper. He was a surprisingly warm and engaging man, who genuinely seemed to care about keeping the peace. The red-headed young man, hailing from District 2, hoped to use the money he saved in this position to open a tavern of his own back home one day.

“Don’t use ours as your model,” Arden grumbled.

It was an ongoing sore spot for the store manager, due to the tavern operator’s exploitation of the desperate girls who worked for him. Even more so now, because Vernon continued to operate his establishment when other businesses were closed down under the new mandate due to lack of workers.

Lieutenant Avery Davidson gave a pained smile and shook his head. “Yeah, it’s the same everywhere. The vices persist, while the good folks bear the burden.” But then he continued brightly, “My place will be respectable.”

His cheerfulness was almost as infectious as Abby’s. Peeta decided to like him. And because of the rapport they’d established, Peeta was able to determine the schedule of the patrols, the nature of them, and what to expect. Davidson nodded his head when Peeta asked him if he’d met the Everdeens while leading patrols.

“Yeah, they seem like good people,” he said. “That teenage girl, though. The one with the pretty eyes…” Peeta tensed, wondering what was coming next. “Well, let's just say I got the distinct impression she’d as soon shoot an arrow in my ass when I introduced myself and tried to compliment her.” And then he threw his head back and gave a hearty laugh.

Peeta couldn’t help smile with pride. “Yeah, she’s my girlfriend.”

Davidson raised his eyebrows and smirked. “Well you hold on to that one. She’s definitely a keeper!” Peeta grinned, and Davidson laughed again and slapped his back. ”She have any older sisters?”

Peeta decided to trust him.

On Tuesday, Peeta’s father received word that his presence was requested in the Capitol. If he knew what it was about, he didn’t say, but departed the next day on the mid-week train. Peeta thought about dropping in to visit with Genny and Justin that evening, but they had been in an unhappy state of mind ever since they'd been forced to shutter the factory. Their workers had been told to report to Russell for reassignment in the mines. Some had refused, but economic hardship made it impossible for most of them.

Even young people still in school were urged to contribute their labor on the weekends, so Danny and Glenn reported to the mines now that both their part time jobs had disappeared. It didn’t leave much time for hanging out with them these days. At least Abby had her job at the clinic, but she was working tonight.

The bakery remained open, too, no doubt at his father’s insistence, but it had closed for the night, so Peeta made his way home. When he got to his room, on a whim, he opened the drawer and took out the anthracite. It was such an ingrained habit after all these years, and he’d begun to believe it would forever remain an unsolved mystery.

As he was turning it over and over in his hand, it slipped from his grasp. He gasped in dismay and, as if in slow motion, he saw it break as it came into contact with the edge of his desk. But instead of shattering like the other piece, it split into two even halves.

He picked them up, curious once the initial shock had passed, and examined them one at a time. While the exterior of each flat, oval piece remained roughly facetted, the point of fracture was composed of smooth, glassy waves. ‘Conchoidal’ was the word he remembered from Geology class. But the almost iridescent surfaces made the term seem inadequate.

He experimented placing the two pieces back together matching them up as before, and deduced that there must have been some invisible line of vulnerability where they met, that allowed such a clean point of separation.

When it came to him, he laughed at the astounding realization. The hidden truth in this rock was finally clear. There was beauty in how the two pieces fit together so perfectly, how their surfaces reflected something so lovely even at the point of greatest vulnerability. The exterior didn’t need any special carving or attention— it was just fine the way it was. Because it was this place of fracture that made it perfect.

He gripped the two pieces, one in each hand, and, in his excitement, he ran out of his room and down the hall to the stairway. He wanted to tell his father— share his revelation with the one person he believed would understand and appreciate his discovery.

But as he reached the top of the stairs he drew up short. With sadness he remembered that his father wasn’t there, and the wave of emotion that he experienced surprised him. To feel such a longing to share this moment with his father, and to have it denied to him, hurt in a way that was new and unexpected.

 

_Katniss_

It was already past morning when Katniss entered the small valley that housed Shelter Lake. Her heart was beating uncomfortably from her exertion, but the anticipation had driven her, eager to reach her destination. The pack she was carrying was large, but fortunately not heavy.

She had refrained from departing in the predawn, for the sake of her family. For some reason she didn’t want to let on how impatient she was to get to the cement house. She said that she’d check the traplines along the route, offered to bring back some fish from the lake… anything to deflect from her primary purpose. She hoped the fact that she was meeting up with Peeta was seen by them as just an inconsequential item on the list of things to do.

They all seemed to humor her, carrying on with morning chores until it was time for her to head out. While her parents and Violet were all absorbed in their various activities, Logan was preparing to head into Cardinal on some kind of undisclosed errand. But Katniss didn’t have time or inclination to ask about it. She slipped up to the loft to get her backpack which she'd prepared the previous night when everyone was asleep.

When she came outside to let her family know she was on her way, she noticed her father was uncharacteristically quiet. And then her mother hugged her, which was  not typical for such a short journey. Thankfully no one commented about the sizable burden she was carrying.

“If the hunting looks good, I may not come back until tomorrow,” she mentioned as casually as she could. “Or if Peeta is delayed leaving Cardinal,” she added. The look she got from Logan said it all.

 _‘I really am a bad liar,’_ she had to admit to herself.

Papa simply said, “Just remind that boy…” But his voice went quiet and Mama finished for him. “We’ll see you both when you get home.” Then she hugged Katniss and whispered, “We love you. Both of you.”

Katniss had blushed, but when nothing else was said, away she went. As soon as she reached the cover of the trees, she'd doubled her pace.

Katniss circled the lake, and when she saw no sign of Peeta, she entered the cement house to drop her pack, expecting that she had arrived first. It was a longer hike for him after all, so she wasn’t surprised.

But her eyes fell on the pile of blankets over in one corner. Curious, she went over to inspect them. A couple were folded up to create a soft topper for the pallet, and a lightweight quilt was folded up at one end to be used for a cover. The bed retained the imprint of the person who had slept there. She glanced over at the fireplace and realized that there was still a little smoke rising up the chimney. She shook her head, chastising herself for her lack of observation when she had arrived. Too preoccupied, her hunter’s senses had been dulled to the scent and sight.

But there was no sign of Peeta anywhere. She looked out the windows, then returned to the bed and, noticing her feather pillow just peeking out from under the quilt, she smiled. He was around here somewhere, no doubt not too far away and would return shortly.

As the adrenaline of her demanding hike ebbed, Katniss yawned. And she felt compelled to stretch out on the rough bed. She lay down, her body seeking to fill the imprints left behind as if to embrace their creator. The pillow retained his scent, and she hugged it to herself. She fell asleep as the sun poured in the window over her, warm and luxurious.

Katniss was awoken by an arm slipping under her head and another circling her waist. She let out a contented sigh as she felt Peeta’s chest press up against her back.

“Good morning,” he whispered in her ear.

“Good morning,” she replied and rolled over to look at him and ran a hand over his cheek. “When did you get here?” she asked.

“I came yesterday afternoon,” he replied. “I finished up my final exams early, and decided I couldn’t wait. I wanted to wake up here this morning and watch the sun rise. I brought breakfast.” Katniss grinned when she saw a bowl of strawberries sitting on the small table. “I just got back from picking them, when I saw someone sleeping in my bed,” he teased.

With a degree of reluctance they got up, and, while Peeta fried the bacon he had packed, Katniss distributed the berries on the plates that he'd bought to outfit the house. There was also a loaf of his bread, and she began to slice off a couple pieces.

She joined Peeta by the fire where he tended the skillet of sizzling bacon, and, using a long handled fork, she began to toast the bread. Sitting side-by-side, crosslegged on the wooden floor, gazing at the fire and their little feast, it felt unmistakably intimate somehow. When the bread was lightly toasted she reached to remove them from the fork, but they were very hot and she let out a little cry, "Ouch!"

“Here, let me,” Peeta said. He was much more comfortable around the flames than she was. Probably because of all the time he’d spent helping Papa in the smokehouse and tending the wood ovens at the bakery.

He blew on the pieces to cool them down a little, and extending his hand with one of the slices, he was about to place it on her plate along with the other items, but she grabbed his wrist. She brought the toasted bread close, guiding it to her mouth right from his hand. She wasn’t sure why she did it, but the sensations of intimacy that had been sparked moments earlier had made it feel right. Peeta smiled as she looked at him coyly while she ate.

When she was finished she took the second piece, which was now cool enough for her comfort, and returned the gesture. And an understanding passed between them in that moment, even though they said nothing.

Their food, their fire, their home, their future… It was all here and so manifest, they could finally grasp ahold of it. Tangible and real.

Katniss was expecting a kiss when he finished his slice of toast, and was surprised and maybe a little disappointed when he got up from the floor and went to fetch something from his pack. He came back with a small pouch. He opened the little drawstring at the top and reached in and drew out something, two things actually, since he held one in each hand hidden from view. Peeta looked at her mischievously and held out both fists.

“Pick one,” he said, his smile wide with anticipation.

Katniss studied them both then touched her finger to one. He flipped his fist over and uncurled his fingers, revealing a shiny grey rock. It was oval in shape, fairly flat, and slightly larger than a quail’s egg, set inside a ring of smoothly sanded and varnished wood. A circle of thin leather was looped through a small hole at the top. She picked it up and looked expectantly at Peeta.

“It’s anthracite,” he explained softly.

She nodded. They’d learned about it in Geology class, and she remembered the figurine in Mr. McIntyre’s study. The one that Peeta had made with his father.

“It’s beautiful,” she said as she admired it’s silvery sheen, flipping it over and running her finger over the side with the smooth surface.

“It’s always reminded me of your eyes,” he said, “but it’s more than that.”

And he showed her it’s partner that he held in his other hand. He told her about his revelation about its significance. How the two pieces fit seamlessly together, and how it was both wood and coal, reflecting the two places that they came from.

“I can’t promise there won’t be pain in our future Katniss, but I do know that as long as you are with me, my other half, it’ll be okay. Because you’re the part that makes my life whole.”

Katniss found it impossible to find adequate words so she leaned in and kissed him. It was a solemn kiss full of declaration and promise of things to come.

“Here,” Peeta said and took her half of the anthracite from her palm and placed the leather cord over her head so that it hung as a pendant around her neck. She reached for his and did the same for him.

“I’ll keep it with me always,” she promised.

“Always,” he echoed, his voice thick with emotion.

Katniss marveled at how in sync they were. They both knew why they were here and what it meant. It was their pledge, their vow. The toasted bread they’d shared. The two anthracite pendants that were really one. And it was the reason why she had brought her gift for Peeta. She got up, went over to her pack, and took out the tightly bundled roll that she'd been able to complete thanks to her family’s contributions over the winter. She’d finally collected enough feathers. She untied the wide straps that held it in a manageable size and shook it out, restoring its loft.

Peeta came over and ran his fingers over the fabric. She knelt down beside the place he’d set up his bed and smoothed the feather bed over the top. Then she unfolded the quilt back over the top. Peeta held out his hand to help her up again, pulling her into his arms, and kissed her. Her fingers combed through his waves and his began to release her hair from its braid.

There was no trepidation as they undressed. Their bodies were familiar to each other even though what lay ahead was new. Katniss thought briefly on all the things her mother had told her, and, in the end, none of it seemed to matter, because everything felt safe and right. There was no fear or nervousness as he laid her down on the downy bed. Only longing, love, and a passion that led the way.

As their hands traveled over new terrain, Katniss lavished in every caress she gave and received. With his hands and his mouth, Peeta brought her to the edge, and beyond. When he moved between her legs she wasn’t afraid. Not just because of what she had been taught, but because this was Peeta and she trusted him completely. It didn’t last long, but when it was over she held him close as his heart raced against her breast. And she kissed him and smoothed his hair as he nuzzled her neck with soft kisses and warm breath.

Later, they swam in the lake— the cool water reinvigorating and the hot air and blue sky rekindling. After a light lunch they returned to their bed and they became explorers meticulously charting new lands, scientists engaged in a sensual experiment, playmates teasing and tickling and making each other laugh.

And finally, lovers, giving everything of themselves to each other. They watched the sun set, Peeta pointing out the delineations of his favorite colors, and then they took turns identifying each constellation as it appeared in the night sky. That evening, as they lay in each other’s arms, they listened to the night birds’ serenade, while the frogs at the water’s edge sang courting songs, and the crickets chirped their rhythmic melody. And then it was their own song of ecstasy that joined the chorus as they made love into the night.

 

_Peeta_

Peeta and Katniss spent a leisurely morning the next day. They ate, they swam, they talked about bringing in a proper wood stove for Peeta to bake with, and how they might expand their home and make it more comfortable. They admired the view from the windows, and how the cement kept their home insulated from the hot summer temperatures.

But mostly they reminded each other of how much they loved each other. They knew that in this spot they had declared their future, that it had been another important step in their journey together. And they mused about what other things awaited them in days and months to come.

When the time came to pack up to head back to the Everdeen home, they stood for a moment and admired this place that would remain dear to them. Soon it would be home, but until then, Peeta told her, any place where they were together would be a place of love.

Marriage traditions for the Everdeens and other forest families were undefined. Mostly due to the practicalities of isolation, an informal statement of intention usually sufficed. However, it was an opportunity for at least a little celebration with whoever was available, usually immediate family or perhaps a close neighbor.

It was different in town, Peeta mused. People usually got married in the church, because it was the place of social gatherings and celebration, and the ceremony had a more specific form and function. Peeta thought of his sister’s wedding, complete with the fine dress she'd worn, the rehearsed vows and signing of papers, the exchange of rings, and an elegant meal after.

He wondered if Katniss felt cheated by the way they had chosen to share this moment. The lack of her family’s presence for at least a part of the occasion weighed on him as they made their way through the trees.

But neither of them were expecting what awaited them when they entered the clearing surrounding the Everdeen home. Violet came running when she saw them, and, breathless with excitement, began to speak. “Mama told Papa to stop fretting, you’d be married by the time you got back. Is it true Katniss? Did you really get married?”

Katniss just beamed and nodded, and Peeta found himself speechless. “How did you know?”

Violet leaned in to whisper in his ear, “Katniss packed the featherbed.”

She grabbed them both by their hands and guided them eagerly to the house. They were surprised by the meal spread out on a table set between their cabin and the smokehouse.

“They’re here!” Violet called out jubilantly.

Peeta turned to face Katniss, found her eyes already on him, and reached out to cup her face in his hand. “I guess that takes care of how to announce it. Especially to your father,” he chuckled.

“We didn’t fool anyone,” Katniss laughed in response. With a wide smile she took his hand and, following in Violet’s footsteps, pulled him towards the waiting, welcoming arms of her family. His family now, too, he realized.

And then, from around the side of the cabin, they were met with another surprise. The cheering and whooping from their friends, the warm smiles from his sister and brother-in-law, Arden’s wide grin, all gathered around to shake hands and exchange hugs with the two of them.

But one figure held back a bit, and Peeta broke away from the cluster and approached his father.

“Congratulations, son,” Father said and extended his hand to shake. After a brief second, Peeta pulled the tall man into a tight embrace.

“Thank you,” he whispered, and he felt tentative arms hug him back.

Regardless of whatever existed beyond this small piece of forest, today, in this place, there was only love, hope, and celebration.


	17. The Gathering Storm

**Chapter Sixteen - The Gathering Storm**

_Peeta_

Mr. Everdeen was playing a soft song on his fiddle as Mrs. Everdeen, Father and Arden sat nearby. Arden took a sip from his flask and closed his eyes as he enjoyed the music. Across the yard Logan was demonstrating his proficiency with his bow, daring Glenn to give it a try. There was some laughter as the deputy’s son learned how different it was to shoot an arrow versus a rifle. Violet sat crosslegged on the ground, playing with Clara’s baby. Peeta and Katniss sat together with the other three couples— Genny and Justin, Clara and Garnett, and Abby and Danny, enjoying the cake that the bakers had brought all the way from Cardinal.

As Peeta glanced over the gathering he was filled with warmth at seeing all these people gathered together— town and forest— here to help celebrate the occasion.

Abby chirped up, “Peeta, your pendants are so beautiful!” His attention was brought back to the group, and he saw that Katniss had handed her half over to her roommate to admire. “And I love Katniss’s story about how you gave it to her. And sharing that toasted bread, too. It’s all so romantic, running away together!”

The way she gushed when she said it made him shake his head and grin. He could see Katniss was blushing a little at all the attention to such personal details of the past couple of days, too.

He noticed that Genny, sitting beside him, was gazing at him warmly, and he detected a little twinkle in her pale blue eyes when she leaned over and whispered, “I told you that anything you did would be just perfect.”

He smiled back at his sister, remembering their conversation from over a year and a half ago.

Abby pressed on, “I want to do that, too— the toasting— when I get married.”

All eyes, including Abby’s, fell on Danny. Clara nudged her little brother and told him he was officially on notice. Everyone laughed, including Danny who slipped his arm around his girlfriend’s shoulders in a possessive hug.

“I thought you wanted a big, fancy wedding, with a formal ceremony and official papers and all,” Danny teased.

“I do,” Abby said with a pout. “I just want a toasting, too.”

It made Peeta furrow his brow, reminding him of his earlier thoughts as he and Katniss had walked back to her family’s home. In their spontaneity, he and Katniss had simply declared their intentions, exchanging vows of their own creation, in their own way. Was it a real marriage? He thought of his parents and the stigma they had lived with. But then he happened to glance over at Mr. and Mrs. Everdeen who had married in much the same way that he and Katniss had, and he knew the devotion they had for each other.

Mr. Everdeen began a lively tune, prompting Genny to grab her husband’s hand and pull him to his feet. “It’s time for a dance,” she laughed and the other couples joined them, leaving Katniss and Peeta alone.

“I can't believe they surprised us like this,” Katniss said. “I didn’t have a clue what Logan was up to when he was heading to Cardinal yesterday. And here I thought I was the one being so sneaky.”

Peeta chuckled, “I’m not sure if I should feel embarrassed that they knew what we were up to or grateful that they did!” His mouth relaxed into a pensive smile when he added, “But I’m grateful you got this party. I felt like somehow you were missing out the way it happened.” He grew quiet for a moment and then asked, “Katniss, do you wish we had done this in a more official way? The way they do it in Cardinal?”

Katniss looked into his eyes with a serious expression. Then the corners of her mouth turned up in a way that melted Peeta’s heart. She leaned in close, removing the plate containing the partly eaten cake from his hand to set it aside, and her hand slipped into his.

“I know we didn't exactly plan it, but I just knew when I packed the feather bed to come meet you, the same way Mama did when she and Papa married. It’s our way, Peeta. I don’t care about any of the rest of it. I wouldn’t change a thing. It was perfect.” She gave him a soft, lingering kiss.

He nodded and gave her a relieved smile as she dropped her head to his shoulder watching the happy group in front of them, dancing and laughing.

“It was the same for me,” he whispered, “When I left that morning, it was what I intended, too. But I’m still glad for all of this.”

Later, Peeta noticed his sister and Katniss engaged in a quiet discussion off to the side. When he asked Katniss about it, she said that Genny had brought up the question of children and inquired what their plans were. Peeta realized with a degree of embarrassment that it hadn’t really been on his mind.

“Genny reminded me they have access to medications from the Capitol,” Katniss said, some hesitation in her voice.

“What did you tell her?” Peeta asked.

Katniss sighed and looked over at Clara’s little boy.

“My parents were young when they had me. I’m ready if it happens,” she replied.

“Are you sure? With everything so uncertain? Does it ever make you worried about what we could be facing?” he asked.

She looked at him with a determined expression. “Maybe that’s exactly the reason why. I don’t want to wait to live, to start a family.” She gave his hand a squeeze before continuing, “It’s like what you said yesterday when you gave me the pendant.” She looked at him as if willing for him to understand.

He knew she sometime had a hard time with expressing the emotional stuff. “It’ll be okay, because we have each other,” he said, remembering the words he'd told her, even though the thought of children placed a layer of fear over his earlier confidence. But he understood what she was saying. “If and when it happens, it’ll be good.”

The hug she gave him restored his certainty. It was the only moment of the celebration where a hint of the outside world crept in. But it was quickly set aside as they joined in with the happy frivolity of the group.

It was a large group to accommodate for the night, but after some discussion, the boys agreed to camp out in the yard. That left the porch for Abby and Violet, Genny and Justin, and Garnett and Clara and their baby. Arden was given the spare room on the main floor and Father insisted he was fine on the couch in the living room, saying he probably wouldn’t sleep much anyway.

The newlyweds retired to the loft. It was hot and stuffy as expected, but when Peeta opened the window it was tolerable. And they enjoyed the privacy the space afforded them.

The next morning, the Cardinal group said goodbye, and, with more hugs and best wishes, they set off on their hike home. It was decided that Katniss and Peeta would remain for another night at the Everdeen’s, but would return to spend the summer at Shelter Lake.

 

Along with help from Katniss’s family, they spent the next two months working on their new home. Mr. Everdeen helped Peeta in constructing some furniture, including an off-the-floor bed, and Logan showed up with Fern for a few days to help build a proper outhouse. Katniss couldn’t refrain from parental concern when she noticed how they keep sneaking off together.

When she commented that they should keep an eye on them, Peeta laughed and joked, “Like the way we wanted people watching us when we were fourteen?”

When she reminded him that Fern was turning fifteen next month, they both looked at each other with wide eyes and Peeta smirked, “Definitely don’t want anyone watching!” Katniss could only shake her head and grin.

They turned their attention to where best to dig a well and organized the interior of their home the way they liked. One afternoon, Peeta painted the large canvas hanging on the wall, filling it with abstract depictions of the sunset merging into a night sky. Katniss said it was lovely and everyone agreed that it brightened the otherwise gray interior.

Even Mrs. Everdeen showed up one day when Katniss’s father and her siblings returned for another visit.

Her brother couldn’t resist teasing them for being in bed so late in the morning. “Seriously you two? It’s almost lunch time!”

Seeing Katniss filled with such a sense of happiness, touched Peeta. It was her mother’s first time back to Shelter Lake since she and her family had abandoned it years ago. They spent a poignant day together as Mrs. Everdeen pointed out a good garden spot that she remembered, and she even took them to the remains of her old home.

Peeta watched as the two women stood in silence as they contemplated the past. Katniss placed her arms around her mother, resting her head on her shoulder.

Then Mrs. Everdeen gave her daughter a reassuring pat and said, “Let’s go plan out that garden.”

It felt to Katniss and Peeta like nothing in the world could ever intrude or go wrong in what was their perfect little paradise. Shelter Lake was once again a refuge from the worries of the outside world.

 

It was with reluctance that, when the end of summer arrived, they packed up to head to Cardinal. After much discussion, it was decided that, for the time being, Violet would remain home despite her interest in attending school— things were simply too uncertain in Cardinal with the way things were going in Panem. Peeta's father had insisted that Katniss would attend school year round, and, now that she was family, he would in no way accept any payment from the Everdeens for it. He’d already instructed Mabel to set up Peeta’s old room for the two of them. With the large house almost empty, he said it was a welcome change that he appreciated.

It gave Peeta a feeling of amazement to realize how much things had changed in the years since a little girl had first introduced herself to him in Arden’s store. The thought filled him with gratitude. It wasn’t just their own lives that had changed because of that encounter.

When they arrived back in Cardinal for the beginning of their school year, they were met with more congratulations. It wasn’t a surprise to their school mates that they had gotten married. Marrying young wasn’t uncommon in District 12, but what was unusual was that they insisted on staying in school. Often, once married, the young couples would move into full time professions to support their new life. Peeta reminded himself how fortunate he was to not have the financial pressure that many others were forced to deal with.

The only person who really complained about the situation was Abby, who’d lost her roommate. It inspired Katniss to came up with the idea of moving her into the McIntyre home along with them. “Besides, there are all these empty bedrooms!” she explained.

With Genny’s approval, Abby took his sister’s old room, which was so opulent for the girl from Hespera that she cried when she saw it.

“Thank you,“ she stuttered through tears as she alternately hugged her friends, Genny, and even his very shocked father.

The autumn proceeded with a minimum of drama. There was little news of unrest, though the peacekeepers continued to patrol the zone outside Cardinal and were an ever-present deterrent around the mines. Russell spent over half the week in Aurora and Hespera, and they rarely saw him. Peeta counted on his friendship with Lieutenant Davidson to keep him informed, but, other than consistent muttering about economic woes and Russ’s frustratingly undiplomatic approach to his workers, things seemed for the most part to be stable.

Mr. Everdeen and Violet came to town one Saturday in late October. Katniss asked about Logan, and Violet rolled her eyes and said he was always off trying to spend time with Fern. “He leaves me, Papa and Mama to do most of the work.”

At almost eight, Violet had a keen eye for the plants her mother gathered, and, though she didn’t have the stomach for the hunting, she willingly helped with the traplines. 

When Father learned that Fern’s family lived several miles farther into the wilderness, he asked if there were any signs of rebel activity. Katniss’s father said he hadn't heard anything, but it wasn’t clear if he took this as good or bad news. There was very little reliable information from the other districts. Genny no longer traveled on business with the change in Panem’s trading policy, and, with the medicine factory closed, Justin had no reason to leave District 12.

Father’s trips were restricted to the Capitol. He always came home concerned, but he didn’t reveal any details other than that it was impossible to find out what was really going on. His suspicion that all their phone lines were being monitored was confirmed when he was called to the Capitol to provide answers about a conversation he’d had with the leader from District 8.

 

_Katniss_

Despite many unanswered questions about Panem, the next few months passed uneventfully in District 12, which should have comforted Katniss. But she couldn’t let go of the persistent feeling. It was so much like how it felt when she was hunting and something predatory was just outside her view, hiding, waiting to pounce. She didn’t like it.

Ever since Mr. McIntyre had returned on his latest trip to the Capitol he’d been clearly bothered, and Katniss noticed he slept very little. The light beneath the door of his study or his bedroom was frequently on late into the night, and she thought she heard him pacing the halls while the rest of them were in bed.

But everyday that went by without any troubling news was a blessing, so she and Peeta and their friends and family continued life as usual, and she began to relax and even enjoy the winter and the New Year's festivities.

Peeta had reintroduced her to Avery Davidson, the young peacekeeper from District 2, and she had to admit, after a poor first impression, that he was okay. He even passed along the occasional message from her family when he was assigned the patrol in their sector.

Despite the snow, the peacekeepers continued their patrols, although sometimes over a week would pass between them due to the snow storms that blew in. It made Katniss uneasy how persistent their commander was at maintaining the surveillance even though there had been no signs of rebel activity since the train ambush.

When February finally rolled around, Katniss began to itch to visit her family. The snow had begun to recede and, though Papa and Violet had visited almost four months ago, she hadn’t seen her mother or Logan since the summer. One morning toward the end of the month, as they were lying in their warm bed cuddling before getting up, she mentioned it to Peeta.

“I feel like I’ve been away so long, and I miss them so much.”

Peeta offered to join her on a trip home, but she insisted that she was good on her own and that Garnett and Clara needed him.

“I won’t stay long,” she said and kissed him. “Just a few days.”

“Maybe you should wait until Avery is going on patrol and join them,” Peeta suggested.

Katniss frowned as she replied, “I know those woods better than any of them. Nothing’s going on, right? I’ll be fine. Besides, I want to go to our house and drop off some things first.”

The truth was also that, as much as she liked Avery, associating with any of the peacekeepers made her edgy. Peeta agreed, if reluctantly. It was strange how protective he’d gotten, she thought, but it was endearing, too. She knew how proud he was of her skills out in the forest. It was the only reason he agreed that she go alone.

Early Saturday morning, they stood together outside the front gate, saying goodbye.

“Just a few days,” Peeta whispered.

“I promise,” she reassured him, but, when she kissed him, she was conflicted by her desire to stay and to go, so she added with as much mirth as she could muster, “Just think about the reunion we’ll have.”

That made Peeta grin, and he released her. Katniss gave a final wave when she was just about out of sight and watched as Peeta made his way to the bakery for his shift.

Once she reached the woods her mood picked up. She began to feel the excitement of seeing her family and sharing the news of what had happened over the winter. She spent the first night at the cement house as planned and took pleasure in adding a few more items to her home. She undressed for bed, looking at herself in the small mirror that she'd brought and hung on the wall. Admiring her figure, she wondered if her mother would notice and decided that it was likely.

When Peeta had admired her growing curves and expressed his approval, she’d joked that if he kept feeding her cheese buns, she’d soon catch up to Abby’s figure. He’d laughed and claimed he’d get right on it, but later that night he’d passed his hands lightly over her body. It made her shiver with anticipation. As his lips ran their course down her neck and over her blossoming breasts, he’d whispered that she was perfect. She’d had to bite her tongue to keep from spilling her secret, but she held to her plan.

Part of her motivation to go home was to ask her mother if she could set aside one of their furs. She planned to ask if she would make a bear just like the one Marigold had made for Peeta— the one that he’d loved so much. And then she'd have them bring it to town on the next trade trip in time for his seventeenth birthday. It would be the perfect way to reveal her surprise.

She calculated in her mind as she ran her hand over her own body, contemplating the changes, when the baby would come. Sometime in the fall. Probably late September if she had it right. That would give them all summer at the lake to prepare. And her mother would be close by. As much as she had grown to love and trust her in-laws, Genny and Justin, she preferred her mother’s presence over their medical expertise. Just as the world was preparing to fall into sleep for winter, a new life would be arriving. The thought made her smile.

 

_Peeta_

Peeta was getting set to decorate some sugar cookies Saturday morning, wondering if Katniss would reach the cement house soon, when Glenn burst into the kitchen followed by Garnett. His face was flushed and he was breathing heavily. Glenn should be working in the mines today, and immediately Peeta knew whatever he had to say was going to be bad.

“There’s trouble…” He fought to catch his breath, “a shooting… your brother…”

Peeta didn’t wait for more explanation, but whipped off the apron and rushed out the bakery door followed closely by his friend, and the two ran toward the mine. Peeta caught sight of his father and Sam, the Town Marshal, out of the corner of his eye, rushing to the scene. Danny ran over to join his friends when he saw them approach. They all hurried to the spot where Glenn’s father and the other deputies were waiting. A crowd of miners were clustered in a tense standoff with the peacekeepers who were not on patrol duty that day.

Peeta saw Justin leaning over someone lying on the ground while two peacekeepers had a struggling miner by the arms. They were attempting to place him in cuffs, but the crowd of miners was converging, forming a large threatening mass for the overwhelmed peacekeepers.

It was reminiscent of what had taken place in Hespera, and Peeta was similarly compelled to step in, but he remembered his father’s response that day. He glanced at his father who was crouched down beside Justin. And a sinking feeling came over him. Just then Genny ran up, and their father got up to drag her away when she started crying.

And then he saw it— Russell lying on the ground with Justin frantically working on him. It was only a minute later when the young doctor sat back on his heels, and, looking up at his wife and father-in-law, shook his head.

It hit Peeta in an unexpected way. He’d never liked his brother. Even hated him at times. But seeing him lying there motionless gripped him with a pain he couldn't explain. He could visualize what had taken place as if he’d been a witness to it— two men scuffling for control of the weapon, the gun firing, and his brother taking the bullet. But before he could give any more attention to the confusing emotions, the mob on miners began to move, and his eye caught sight of Avery trying to hold them back from retrieving their now cuffed comrade. Sam and his deputies seemed uncertain who to side with in the altercation as guns were drawn.

Peeta ran up to the group, Glenn at his side, and, without even knowing any of the facts, yelled out, “It was an accident!”

It got the young lieutenant’s attention and, seeming to understand Peeta’s intention, he allowed him to continue without interruption. Trying to calm his voice, Peeta continued, “Russ’s always been careless with his handgun. I’m sure this miner never intended for it to fire.”

The look on the miners’ faces betrayed his version of events, but all he could do was hope Avery realized that if his men persisted, being outnumbered as they were, more people would get hurt. He nodded and turned to his men and ordered the cuffs off, and, turning to Sam, he asked him to take the man to the police office to take a statement.

It seemed to defuse the aggression in the miners, and the peacekeepers complied and released the man. Now under the more trusted custody of their own police force, the accused miner went along willingly. Peeta knew, along with the rest of the crowd, that the man would be released shortly, once some kind of show of an investigation was made. His attention returned to his family. His father, stone-faced and grim, spoke briefly with Avery before following Sam to the police station. Peeta could tell that he was struggling to maintain the formality required of the town leader, despite his own son’s death.

Peeta joined his crying sister, now being comforted by Arden, while Justin called for some miners to assist with his brother’s dead body. All the adrenaline leeched from Peeta’s body as a great and heavy exhaustion settled over him.

Later that night, they sat locked in silence in the McIntyre parlor. Genny’s eyes were red. His father looked pale, and, whatever any of them felt where Russ was concerned, the loss of his life and the disastrous events of the day left them all bone-weary.

While the peacekeepers had backed down, when Commander Granger arrived back from checking on the security around Aurora and Hespera, he was incensed. He listened to his lieutenant’s explanation, then ordered that any further outbursts from the workers were to be dealt with swiftly and decisively. Everyone knew what that meant. There would be no arrests next time.

They discussed funeral arrangements for Russell and decided that a quick burial without any fanfare was in order under the circumstances. A large gathering would be frowned upon by Commander Granger as a potential threat. But the real reason, even if no one said it, was that everyone believed there would be few to show up anyway.

Peeta thought of his brother, essentially motherless at three years of age, lacking any social intuitiveness, angry and unloved by all except a couple of people at best. Russell was of course responsible for all the choices he’d made, but it didn’t change the fact that he was dead at the age of twenty-two and would be missed by almost no one. Peeta was surprised by the sadness he felt.

The next morning when the mine whistle blew for the first shift, it was discovered that many of the miners had slipped out of Cardinal under the cover of night. And the first credible rumors of rebel presence just outside their borders started to make the rounds through town. Peeta went to his father’s study, and he could tell that he’d been up all night. Father had broken the news to Billy in the Capitol, but it was the official statement that had come through in the night that was most ominous. 

He shook his head and showed Peeta the printed text and paraphrased, “Billy has made a public statement declaring that the McIntyre family is without equivocation on the side of the Capitol. District 12 is therefore putting any rebel factions under notice. They are not welcome and will be answered with lethal force.” Father looked up from the paper and said, “He’s effectively cutting us off from any chance of allying with the rebels by guaranteeing our family’s loyalty to the Capitol. They’re sending in reinforcements so, with more peacekeepers arriving, our side has been chosen for us.”

“Is there nothing we can do?” Peeta asked. And then he began to panic. “We need to warn the Everdeens. Katniss…” and he couldn’t say more. She was out there caught in the midst of it all, maybe unaware of the danger.

“I’ll send word this morning when the patrol goes out. Tell them to come in.” 

Peeta thought of how independent the Everdeens were. “What if they refuse?”

His father gave him a pained look, “At least we can get Katniss safely back to Cardinal.”

 

_Katniss_

The next morning, Katniss awoke eager to cover the miles to her old home. As an afterthought she decided to take her bow, which she had stored at the cement house. Maybe she could bring a gift of a rabbit or even a wild turkey to offer her family. As she neared their cabin her heart rate picked up in happy anticipation, but suddenly a chill ran down her back.

Instinct drove her to stop and find cover at the sound of men's voices penetrating the woods. She fell into hunter mode, and, thankful for her sturdy but quiet soled boots, she crept up toward the clearing that contained her family home.

When she reached the edge of the forest, she saw them congregated outside the front porch. Peacekeepers. She scanned for Avery, hoping his friendly presence would be there. Instead she saw with dread the hard face of the commander. He was speaking to her father, and, by the posture of the two men, it wasn’t a friendly discussion. She stayed hidden in the trees. It wasn’t clear who else besides her father was at the home. Whoever else was there remained inside.

Suddenly Commander Granger ordered his men into their cabin and her father grabbed the first one to stop him and yelled, “You have no rights here. We aren’t part of your fight.”

The commander answered sternly, “We were guaranteed that you were trustworthy. But you’re helping rebels. That cancels any deals you made with McIntyre.”

“My wife’s a healer. We don’t turn away the injured. No matter who they are. We’d do the same for any of your men if they showed up on our doorstep,” Papa argued.

“The time’s come to chose a side, Everdeen. And you’d better chose wisely. Let my men through,” he demanded. “The man inside is an enemy of Panem.”

But Papa stood his ground, his head stubbornly held high. Katniss could barely hear his voice over her pounding heart as he replied without wavering, “We aren’t on anyone’s side but our own. And we don’t leave the injured to die.”

Everyone fell silent as the commander and his group of four men digested his words. Katniss was beginning to think that perhaps the Commander might back down, when he hissed, “Wrong answer.”

Before she could move from her spot to scream out a warning, Granger had pulled out his revolver and aimed it at her father, pointing it directly at his head.

She saw her father’s hazel eyes, always so full of fun and laughter and gentleness, widen in realization. And then there was the horrifying crack of the handgun firing and his body slumped to the ground.

Gasping desperately for breath, Katniss was paralyzed. Her brain refused to believe what her eyes saw— the lifeless body of her father on the ground in front of her. Before the peacekeepers could react, Mama came running from the house and fell on the ground beside her husband, desperately looking for signs of life that Katniss knew she wouldn’t find. Her mother was screaming in terror and rage, and, without losing a beat, the commander aimed and fired for the second time.

Some instinct within her, ingrained from years of hunting with her father, kept Katniss rooted to the ground safely hidden from the danger. She was fighting for breath— it kept coming in shallow gasps while tears blurred her vision in shock and disbelief. But then a different instinct rose up. One of protection.

 _Logan! Violet!_ Where were they? Were they inside? Forcing air into her lungs, she frantically scanned the yard.

“Take care of it,” the commander ordered and two of the men went inside presumably to deal with the injured rebel her parents had given assistance. She ordered herself to focus, to not think about the two people lying in the growing bloody pool in front of the porch steps. There was the sound of more gunfire, and the two soldiers emerged, their task completed.

“What do we do now?” one of the group asked.

“Search the outer buildings for any signs of other rebels. Kill them on sight,” Granger ordered.

“What about the bodies?”

Granger gave a dismissive snort. “Leave them. Send a message to anyone else who thinks defying the Capitol will be overlooked.”

A communication device on his collar gave a static-ridden sound, and he spoke into it. “We’re heading back to town, to prepare for reinforcements. And I plan to have words with McIntyre about his so-called loyal informants. You two,” he pointed to two of the men, “With me. You two,” indicating to the others, “finish up here.”

The two who would remain asked what their orders were if they found the kids whom they knew lived there.

The commander’s voice was like ice. “Best way to get rid of rats, is to burn the nest.“

A deep rage overcame Katniss. She thought of the possibility that her siblings might be inside, hiding, and she couldn’t take the chance. Her blood was pumping fire as she moved laterally along the edge of the forest to get a better vantage point.

She was momentarily stalled by her father’s words so many years ago.

_‘They have guns, Little Duck.’_

And she knew this wasn’t going to be a fair fight. Then the thought of her own unborn child flashed to the forefront, and she was frozen, caught in an unsolvable bind of indecision and doubt.

Forcing herself to think rationally, she realized there was no way Logan was inside— he would've been fighting alongside their mother when the first shot was fired. But Violet? She could clearly imagine her mother telling her little sister to hide. And she knew there was a very good chance she was there— undetected, afraid, about to die— and Katniss sprang into action. She slipped up behind the smoke house, careful to remain hidden from view as the two remaining soldiers lit matches to toss into the coal oil they'd splashed against the building.

The arrow flew, catching the first peacekeeper in the neck. Unable to even call out in pain he slumped to the ground. His partner came around the corner when he heard the disturbing gurgling sound. When he saw his stricken partner he swung his gun around to seek the threat. He yelled into his communicator to alert the rest of his patrol.

Katniss reached for another arrow to let fly before the soldier spotted her. Her arrow pierced his arm, and dropping his weapon to his side, he darted for cover. Just as she was about to stand and reveal herself for another shot, a strong arm grabbed her from behind, one hand gripping her bow, the other covering her mouth.

She was about to flail in panic, swinging at whoever had attacked, when she saw the wild eyes of her brother. And beside him was a trembling and very pale Violet. Logan indicated toward the forest, and the three of them retreated with the stealth that had been drilled into them from an early age.

When they were safely clear, Katniss was overwhelmed with emotion. She pulled them both into tight hugs, capturing them both in her steely embrace. The three of them clung to each other, and Violet started to sob, causing whatever rage that had possessed Katniss to melt away.

The three of them remained there together for several minutes, until finally Logan whispered, “We need to get to the lake house.”

They slipped deeper into the woods, retreating further away from the cabin and Cardinal.

It was mid-afternoon when they reached Shelter Lake, but they were all exhausted. They hadn’t even thought to check the traplines on the way, too overcome by their own grief. When they reached the cement house, Katniss was grateful for the dried deer jerky and preserves stored there, but it only reminded her of her parents, who had contributed these things, and she struggled to keep from bursting into tears.

She served up the meal, but none of them had any appetites.

Logan was the first to break the silence. “We can’t stay here long,” he stated. “It’s too close to the perimeter.”

Katniss was still too numb to listen. “I have to go back to Cardinal. Tell Peeta. And his father.”

Logan grabbed her by the arm. “You can’t Katniss. You killed a peacekeeper and now they know it.”

“They don’t know it was me,” she added weakly.

“Maybe not, but they’ll suspect. You coming back here right before it happened, the bow and arrow— everyone knows how good you are. Who else would they suspect?”

“You,” she retorted.

He nodded, “Yeah, they’re going to be looking for us both.”

She fired an accusatory look at him. “You shouldn’t have stopped me from killing the second peacekeeper.”

“Katniss, he’d already alerted the others, it wouldn’t have made any difference. And he might have killed you first.” He took a deep breath and said, “We could go seek out Fern and her family. They’ve made contact with the rebels. They’ll give us protection.”

Katniss glared at him. At the mention of Fern Matheson, something snapped inside her. She remembered the tall girl, with her fearsome manner, the defiant look in her eye, and the ugly things her father had said, and she realized that whatever had happened was somehow connected to this girl and her family. 

With clenched teeth, she stared at her brother and asked, “Logan, why did rebels bring their injured to Mama?”

He looked at her and in almost a whisper he answered, “He accidentally shot himself. We brought him to Mama because she was the closest to give aid.”

If it hadn’t been for Logan's relationship with Fern, maybe their parents wouldn’t have been dragged into this. They’d still be alive. Bitter anger flooded her bloodstream.

Through clenched teeth she hissed, “You knew our home was being watched, that the patrols would come through, and you still brought them there, knowing that our parents would never turn them away.”

“Katniss, if I’d known… You have to know there’s no way I would endanger our family,” Logan pleaded. Tears were forming up in his eyes. “I thought it was safe. The patrol wasn’t due in our sector for days. They came out of schedule, on the wrong day.”

“You brought them to our home! Because of that girl!” she shrieked.

Logan tried to explain, but Katniss was beyond persuasion. She lashed out, pummelling him with her voice and her fists, for bringing this down on them. “What have you done?!” she screamed at her brother.

Katniss wanted him to feel the depth of her pain, remind him how an effective hunter never acts so predictably, but lures their prey in with false security, just like what these peacekeepers had done.

Violet started to cry. “Stop fighting!” she wailed pathetically. And Katniss saw the agony in Logan’s eyes and hung her head, completely drained, realizing the futility of it all.

“Katniss, you have to believe me,” Logan begged. “I never wanted anyone to get hurt, I was just trying to help.”

Violet continued to whimper. And then all Katniss felt was an overwhelming sorrow for him, for all of them. She pulled them both into her arms. “It’s not your fault, I know you didn’t mean for this to happen.”

“So what do you want to do?” Logan asked, defeated. And the only answer that made any sense for everyone’s safety was clear.

“Tonight we try to get some sleep. And in the morning we go find these rebels. It may be the only safe place left for us right now. It looks like our side in this conflict has been decided, whether we like it or not.”

Logan seemed to shrink at the bitterness she couldn’t hide. She thought of all the times her own judgement had been compromised because of her feelings for Peeta, starting back when they were eight and she’d failed to see the storm that trapped them.

“Come on,” she said, making up beds for them. “We’ll figure things out, once we’re all somewhere more safe.”

That night she could hear Logan’s barely muffled crying, while she clung to her trembling sister in her and Peeta’s bed. How she wished he was here to hold her. As she thought of her parents lying outside their home without even the dignity of a proper burial, her own tears started to flow.

 

_Peeta_

Peeta, Genny, Justin, and Abby were gathered with Father in the dining room, but no one was eating. The events of yesterday were too fresh. They’d opted for a quick, private funeral for Russell earlier that day, as they had discussed, with just the few of them in attendance. Peeta was on tender hooks waiting for a report from the peacekeeper patrol about Katniss and her family. His father was just preparing to speak, no doubt to share some kind of plan for moving forward, when Arden burst into the room.

“More trouble,” he hissed, but his eyes fell on Peeta. He knew from the pain he saw there it had to do with Katniss, and an icy hand seemed to grip his chest. “Lieutenant Davidson filled me in.”

Everyone rose from their chairs and huddled around Arden, but before he could explain further, they were interrupted by Commander Granger who barged in. He had just returned from the patrol covering the Everdeens' sector, which he had insisted on personally leading. He demanded to meet with Father immediately.

When the two men were in the study behind closed doors, Arden whispered to a frantic Peeta what he’d heard. “Peacekeeper was brought in with an injury, arrow through the arm. Another peacekeeper was killed by one through his throat. It happened at the Everdeens'. Claims they were harboring a rebel.” He paused, his face grimacing. “They killed Jack and Laurel.”

The old man started to choke up, and Peeta felt like he’d been kicked in the gut.

“Katniss?” he managed to ask, his voice cracking. “Logan, Violet?”

Arden shook his head. “No one else, but the soldier said their attacker was a girl— long, dark braid… It’s only a matter of time and they figure out who it is.”

Peeta's face dropped into his hands. Why did he let her go? And alone. And then more questions started to explode in his head. But, before he could ask, the study door flew open and his father approached him, stern faced, a look of warning in his eyes. He was closely followed by the commander.

“Commander Granger has questions for you, Peeta,” he said through gritted teeth. “I assured him we’d cooperate.”

Peeta felt anger welling up, but his father gripped his shoulders to the point of pain and gave the slightest shake of his head. And he knew for Katniss’s sake he needed to stay calm.

After an exhausting interview with Granger, in which Peeta denied everything and he and his father completely vouched for Katniss, claiming that she was away hunting nowhere near her family’s home, they walked to the clinic to check in with Genny. It was a chance to speak quietly, away from prying ears.

“They don’t know where Katniss is. Who all knows about Shelter Lake, Peeta?” Father asked.

Of course she might go there, Peeta thought. It was outside the zone, plus it wasn’t easy to spot due to the surrounding cliffs. He thought about the question. Everyone who’d been at their reception knew about their future home. And possibly Arden’s helpers since they’d helped with the renovation orders he’d put in, but he doubted they knew the precise location.

“I have to go find her. Make sure she’s okay,” Peeta stated. But his father grabbed his arm, stopping him in his tracks.

“No. It’s too dangerous,” he hissed. “Granger and his men will be watching too closely. You’d just lead them there.” He took a deep breath.

“Katniss knows how to look after herself,” Father said, attempting to comfort him. “Plus, if she’s with the rebels and they think we’re aligned with the Capitol, they may see you as the enemy despite what Katniss says. First things first, we need to find a way to make contact, make sure they know we’ll support them when the time comes.”

His father’s grip on his arm relaxed. Peeta looked up at him, and, when he spoke again, his father’s voice was softer. “Whatever happened, Katniss felt she had no choice. We just need to figure out how best to help her and the rest of her family.”

He paused, his eyes clenched shut for a moment, and then spoke again, “I’m sorry. This is likely my fault. I… encouraged the Everdeens to let me know about any rebel activity in case there was an opportunity to join them if it was prudent. I didn’t ever expect that they would actually shelter them, but just pass on information. I’m sorry, Peeta… I’m so sorry…”

“They’re good people— they wouldn’t turn away someone needing help,” Peeta replied flatly, unable to respond to his father’s admission of complicity.

There’d be time to process what he'd said later. The only thought on his mind right at that moment was whether or not Katniss was safe, and his desperate need to go find her.

They had just reached the back steps of the clinic when Genny emerged from the door. Seeing all the grief and worry etched into her face crumbled whatever resolve that had been holding Peeta together, and he collapsed to the ground and wept when she reached to embrace him.


	18. Rebellion

**Chapter Seventeen - Rebellion**

_Peeta_

By the time spring arrived, Peeta had managed to regain some sense of control over his turbulent psychological state. He knew it was imperative if he was going to be of any help to Katniss. It had helped to direct all his pent up anxiety into determining what could be learned and what could be done. Certainly he hated the peacekeepers. But his anger had also been directed at his father for possibly involving his wife’s parents, at the rebels for endangering the Everdeens, and even at Avery for the irrational notion that he hadn’t been on that patrol to stop the murder.

But most of all, Peeta was furious with himself for not stopping Katniss from going in the first place. In the end, he knew he had to let it go, because what was the point? It didn’t change anything. And he knew who really was the enemy here— Granger. So he refocused his energy on finding a way to set things right.

Peeta was, however, thrown for a loop one evening as he sat with Abby and Danny in the parlor when conversation turned to Katniss. Peeta appreciated his friends’ empathy at their separation. They assured him that she was missing him just as much, and, attempting to inject a little humor into the discussion, Peeta joked that she probably missed his cheese buns most of all. He chuckled, describing how she claimed they were responsible for her enhancing her figure.

The look on Abby’s face made his smile drop from his face. “What?” he asked her, anxious for her insight.

“Oh Peeta, you don’t think…” She paused, glancing at Danny then back at her friend.

“What?!” he demanded more frantically.

In hushed tones she shared her suspicions, and Peeta felt the tenuous strength that he’d regained over the past months dissolve at the thought that she might be pregnant. It was a huge blow, even though a small part of him couldn’t help cling to the fragile piece of hope it offered. His friends tried to reassure him, but it was almost impossible with everything that had transpired lately. It provided yet another frightening element to his already vivid and disturbing dreams at night, imagining Katniss alone, vulnerable, and in need of his help which never came.

There had been more reports of rebel activity. It was difficult to know what information was reliable, but one thing was certain— their presence was growing. The chief conduit for news in the early weeks had came out of Aurora and Hespera. The two mines had also been a conduit for opposition support as more people abandoned the outposts to join the rebel forces. The peacekeeper crackdowns intensified until it reached a breaking point.

In the middle of April, Commander Granger announced that both the satellite mines were to be abandoned and all remaining workers relocated to Cardinal. He claimed it was due to security, but everyone knew it was to stop the leaks of workers and information to the other side. The construction of a fence surrounding Cardinal was the next order that came down, and many people were drafted into service to help build it.

On Sunday afternoon as Peeta, his father, and Arden met in the back room of the General Store, Peeta asked why they would do that, purposely close two productive mines, given how he thought the Capitol was desperate for their coal in light of what happened in District 5 the previous year.

“I thought the Capitol was supposedly obsessed with energy security,” he said.

His father gave a bitter huff. “We were lied to. The attack in District 5 was minor. The shutdown was a ruse to justify moving troops into the districts. Forcing people into the mines was just a convenient way to maintain control over the population in our district. I imagine they’re attempting to do the same everywhere.”

It had been stressful for his father, trying to manage the situation. He wisely made efforts to remain, on the surface, aligned with Commander Granger, while at the same time probing for any significant news about the rebels. He’d searched for ways to communicate cautiously with the unofficial leaders within the community. With Russell dead, he’d found an effective way to do so. When Granger closed Aurora and Hespera, his father had simply stepped into the roll of Mine Foreman. There was less to be done administrating the town, since trade was completely in the hands of the Capitol, so the task was a good fit.

District 12 sent in orders to the Capitol for needed supplies and hoped that their requests would be met. Wages still flowed in, but everyone felt the pinch of dwindling resources. Working closely with the day-to-day operation of the remaining mine provided Father with unfettered access to the workers, to listen to them and pass along his own views. It was an odd and unexpected shift in the dynamic between the town’s people and the man who had always maintained such a distance from them. He seemed to be no longer indifferent to their issues, but actually invested in them.

In early May, thinking about Katniss’s birthday, Peeta found himself drawn out to the graveyard to visit his mother. When he saw his father he almost turned back, still a bit raw about his part in what had happened to Katniss’s parents, but then he saw his father was planting the marigolds and felt compelled to approach.

Father gave him a weak smile when he knelt down beside him. “I guess I’ve done a pretty terrible job at keeping my promises,” he said, his voice filled with self-loathing. “It was always so important to me. How many people have I failed?” He looked up over toward town. “Not much of a legacy these days. Mines shut downs, the medicine factory closed. The town near bankrupt. And only Genny to inherit whatever is left.”

“What about Billy?” Peeta asked warily.

Father frowned. “He’s made his position clear. I doubt he’ll ever return. And if he does, it won’t be because of his mother’s plans for him.” He turned to face Peeta. “And I let down two of the people who mean the most to me, your mother and you. I promised to protect you both, but she’s gone and now I’ve hurt you terribly.”

Peeta shook his head. “What happened to Katniss wasn’t your fault, Father. I don’t blame you.” It was only as he said the words that Peeta realized he believed them himself. “And I know you’ll do whatever you can to look out for Genny, me, Katniss, Arden, the town… Things will turn around.”

His father gave him a sad, yet grateful smile.

Peeta had been reluctant to rely too much on Avery Davidson for information about the rebels and their patrols. He knew it put the man in a compromising position, so he consciously chose to not place Avery in a situation that could get him into trouble. But whenever he could, the lieutenant would drop a hint.

 _‘The patrol took out a rebel camp… But only rebel soldiers killed, no civilians,’_ or _‘They keep moving around. Must have some cagey hunters in their group helping them to hide from us.’_

It wasn’t much but, ironically, every day without news of Katniss was a relief in a way. It allowed him to believe she was still safe, hidden somewhere behind rebel lines.

The best development came unexpectedly from one of his friends. Glenn had stepped forward to volunteer for the peacekeepers. At first Peeta was incensed at his friend.

But Glenn took him aside to explain. “They are desperate for more troops. The Capitol has none to spare, and the rebel forces are growing. If I join them, I can get inside information, maybe even get out on the patrols and see if I can learn anything about Katniss and her family.”

It made sense the way he explained it, but it still didn’t sit well with Peeta. Their Town Marshal and his men were unofficially answering to the peacekeepers. Glenn, being a deputy’s son, wasn’t under the same level of suspicion that many others in town were. None of Cardinal’s civil police force felt any allegiance to Granger’s peacekeepers, but they all recognized the advantage of keeping up appearances, if only to run interference for their own people.

His friend gave a self-deprecating laugh and reminded Peeta, “Hey, I’m about as good with a gun as I am with a bow. Don’t worry. It’s doubtful I’ll do anything under pressure but shoot my own guys.”

It was a dark admission, but Peeta understood what he meant. Glenn’s loyalty lay with Cardinal. And if it came to it, he’d do what he could to protect Katniss for him.

Peeta also clung to the small consolation that there was never any mention of the discovery of the house at Shelter Lake. Glenn said it stretched their troops far enough just sticking within the designated patrol zone, and he made certain to help it stay that way, by steering them away from the site.

Arms continued to pour into town. It was the one advantage the peacekeepers had over the ever increasing number of rebels. One day, Genny asked Father why the rebels hadn’t targeted the trains, just like they had done to the one she'd been on. He informed her that the tracks had been outfitted with sensors that made them impossible to tamper with undetected. The trains continued to be heavily guarded.

Then one day a patrol stumbled back into town, having taken heavy damage with over half the squad dead or injured. Lieutenant Davidson had been with them.

Justin treated Avery’s wounds and the peacekeeper confessed that the rebels were equipped with arms every bit as lethal as their own. The weapons had an unmistakable signature. They were from the stockpile that was located in District 2. Avery revealed that his home, being a mining district just like Twelve, had been doing this for some time, caching weapons underground for the Capitol. Somehow the rebels had gained access to them.

Justin immediately took his father-in-law aside and informed him. Peeta’s father knew that if District 13 joined the battle— and he suspected they might due to some signals he’d gotten from them— the Capitol might finally have met its match. It was the first bit of good news in months.

One day in late June, Glenn came into the bakery looking for Peeta. He revealed that they'd located a large group of rebels and a stash of weaponry. Granger had ordered a sizeable number of available troops to take out the threat. Which gave a small opening for Peeta.

“With the peacekeepers in town reduced, you might be able to sneak by undetected. I could help. But you have to go now.”

Clara was afraid. “They’ll notice you’re gone, Peeta.”

“We can cover for awhile. Say you’ve taken sick so you’re not at work. It could give you a couple of days,” Garnett offered.

Peeta didn’t have any time to think about the opportunity, but he didn’t need it. He rushed home, gathered a minimal amount of supplies, and left without notifying anyone else. It was for the best, he thought. The fewer people who knew, the safer they were if they got questioned. Accompanying Glenn as far as the fence line, he slipped through the thinly guarded town border and disappeared into the forest.

 

_Katniss_

It was driving Katniss crazy sitting mostly idle in the rebel medical camp. She knew it was for her safety, and her condition made it impossible to even consider fighting. But all she could think about was that the sooner the rebels won, the faster she would be reunited with Peeta. She worried about his safety. Would his connection to her pose a danger for him in Cardinal? And if the rebels finally took over, which, ever since District 13 had revealed their support, was looking more likely, would they listen to her as she advocated for him and his family?

The rebels had heard the official statement coming out of the Capitol about which districts were still loyal to the Capitol and which had joined the rebellion. Even if the people sided with the rebels, there were still some leaders who insisted on dogged devotion to Panem’s government. From the sounds of it, Mr. McIntyre was one of them. But Katniss knew better, and she used every opportunity to reinforce that fact. Fortunately, she had Logan and even Fern on her side. They were young, and not important in the chain of command, but it helped put a personal spin on Peeta and the McIntyre family, so that rebel leadership was at least willing to reserve judgement.

Logan had grown up considerably in the last few months. He’d been physically an early bloomer, growing tall and filling out earlier than most boys his age. At fifteen he seemed much older than his years, and, with the cruel events that had touched his life, he had become determined and devoted to the rebel cause. Violet had been given work assisting in their infirmary, and, despite her age, she thrived with the positive distraction it provided. It helped with the pain of losing their parents.

Katniss understood. She felt the same, but without any real outlet of her own, she was frustrated. Over five months pregnant now, she longed for her husband as the days grew closer to her delivery date. She prayed things would be resolved before September.

One day, seeing her distress, Logan approached with an offer. “I’m leading a group to Shelter Lake. I was describing it to the leadership and they think it would be an excellent strategic location as we advance on town.” Katniss didn’t like the idea of rebel soldiers invading her and Peeta’s sanctuary from the world, but Logan’s next words swayed her. “They’ve agreed to let you come with us. Most of the fighting is to the north, and I convinced them you’re more familiar with the location than I am.”

“You mean you lied,” she said.

He gave her a sidewise smile. “Maybe a little. But it might be a way to get a message to Peeta. If there’s any chance he’s been able to get out of town to look for you, he’d go there.”

“Do you think he might be there now?” Katniss grew excited at the possibility, regardless of how remote.

Logan shrugged his shoulders. At least it was something. She agreed to help guide the rebels to the hidden valley south of Cardinal.

When the small scouting group arrived at Shelter Lake, Katniss made a beeline for the cement house while they evaluated the location. The rebels determined that no one had been there recently. She wasn’t really surprised that the place was deserted, and her heart felt empty, too. But then she saw it. She approached the large canvas on the wall. On it was a message just for her— one that no one else would understand if peacekeepers discovered this place first. A yellow dandelion painted in the bottom corner. She knew what he was telling her.

_‘Have hope. Make a wish.’_

With a brave smile, she did. She found some leftover paint and added her own design beside it on the slim chance he returned. A dandelion gone to seed, its little puffy umbrellas blowing away as if caught in the current of her breath. She knew he’d understand.

Leaving no other sign of their presence, the rebel group left to return to their base.

 

It was the middle of September when the rebels made their move on Cardinal. Katniss was sick with worry, and, because of the late stage of her pregnancy, she was removed from any action, only receiving the most up-to-date information at the field hospital. She tried to help, alongside Violet and the doctors and medics, with the wounded that kept coming in, but it was impossible to concentrate, and she was sent back to her tent to rest.

But rest was also impossible. All she could do was worry if Peeta would be safe when the attack came. She was also concerned about Logan. He was in the thick of it now along with Fern. Despite his youth he fought alongside much older soldiers. He'd earned their respect for his tracking ability, and his proficiency with the bow came in handy for stealth attacks. Katniss didn’t want to know how many people he’d killed. It still disturbed her sleep, hearing the horrible sounds that had come from the peacekeeper she'd killed when her arrow pierced his throat.

Relegated to her tent, she forced herself to think about more pleasant things. She relived the glorious days she and Peeta had spent at Shelter Lake and tried to ignore how it was currently being used by the rebels as a staging spot for their assault. Instead, she remembered their wedding night, how the peaceful sounds of nature had serenaded them, and soon she drifted into a somewhat pleasant sleep.

She was awoken by a discomfort and soon realized that she was going into labor. She hobbled her cumbersome body to the medical tent and called out for Violet. Her sister knew immediately what was going on, and Katniss was helped to one of the beds. Medical staff came and went, checking on her, but Violet never left her side. As the hours passed, despite her sister’s presence, she longed for her mother’s competent and loving presence.

Periodically news drifted in. The rebels had reached the fence line surrounding Cardinal. Then, the fence line had been breached. Then came the incredible but not surprising news that the civil police had turned on the peacekeepers and joined with the rebels. Town folks, miners, shop keepers— everyone it seemed— had joined in the fight. It was only a matter of time now she was assured, but, as she struggled through the waves of increasingly intense pain, her tears were for Peeta, anxious for any news of his well being.

As the evening went on, one medic, trying to be glib, joked that they were taking bets as to which delivery would happen first— Katniss’s infant or Cardinal into rebel hands. If the daggers that Katniss’s eyes shot at him didn’t send the message, Violet’s stern, “Go away!” did.

But unfortunately there was also no more information given to them. And Katniss’s labor continued on into the night.

 

_Peeta_

His heart was pounding as he followed Logan and several other rebel troops through the forest. This was unfamiliar country to him, but he didn’t have the focus to pay attention to the landmarks the way the Everdeens had taught him.

He had spent too much time walled up inside the fences, so it had been ages since he’d hiked such a distance at one time, and he felt the effects of the exertion. But adrenaline was pumping through his system and there was no way he was willing to stop when Logan asked if he wanted to rest. When the other soldiers finally insisted about six miles into the hike, he spent the entire time pacing.

They had left when it was still dark out, as soon as Cardinal had fallen into the hands of the rebel leader. He was a man from District 13 that his father knew. Although Peeta was more than curious to learn more, when he saw Logan running to the front entrance of his house, all other thoughts vanished.

After a breathless couple of minutes of reassurances that Katniss was indeed okay, learning that she had actually gotten his message at the cement house, Logan yelled, “You’ve got to come. Now!”

The confirmation that he was about to become a father began to set in, the farther they hiked. He asked more questions, and Logan answered as best he could. Logan told him that Katniss had never stopped defending him and his family, which was why their leader was willing to hear his father out. He reminded Peeta that Violet was by Katniss's side right now as they made their way to the rebel base, and he assured him that she was in good and capable hands. But the urgency still made it impossible to take a needed break, and Peeta was relieved when they were finally on their way again for the last leg of the journey.

It was well midmorning when Peeta burst into the medical tent and was directed to a cubicle down the aisle. He lifted the curtain out of the way and saw Violet sitting by her sister’s side. In the crook of her arm, Katniss held a small bundle he couldn’t quite make out. Violet looked up, her eyes grew wide, and she gave him a huge smile. She got up and threw her arms around his waist and hugged him.

“How, how …” he found himself tongue-tied.

“She’s fine. They both are,” Violet whispered. “They just had a really long night. Come on.” She took his hand and led him inside, indicating to the chair she had just vacated.

Katniss’s hair was stuck to her brow from sweat, and she looked drained, but he had never seen a more beautiful sight in his life. Forgoing the chair, he slipped into the narrow space beside her, scooping them both into his arms. He brushed the dark hair away from her forehead, and, when he kissed her temple, her eyes fluttered open. She was tired but managed a contented smile.

“You’re here,” she whispered hoarsely.

“I wouldn’t miss it for the world,” he replied and reached over to pull the little blanket away to get a better glimpse of their child. No one had even told him whether it was a boy or girl, but, whatever it was, it looked pink and healthy with a head of fine, dark hair. The infant yawned when he ran a trembling hand over its head.

“We have a boy, Peeta,“ Katniss said.

He kissed them both, and the energy that had sustained him all through the fighting in Cardinal and during the trek to this spot was finally spent. While the whoops of celebration and frantic activity in the medical ward provided anything but peace, the three of them fell asleep together in the tiny cot, the first decent rest Katniss and Peeta had had in months.

 

_Katniss_

Their homecoming brought Katniss to tears. Agnes was the first to see them when the truck that carried her and her little boy rolled into town. The cook was beside herself, and even reserved Mabel gave her a hug. Abby was next, gushing about how beautiful her baby was, saying how wasn’t it convenient that she lived just down the hall so they had a babysitter whenever needed?

On and on it went, and Katniss suspected it wasn’t just about her little boy. Everyone’s spirits were high as they celebrated the rebel takeover of District 12 in those first few days. But Katniss noticed how her father-in-law remained quiet on the subject.

“What’re we going to name him?” Peeta asked one evening as they watched their son sleep. Katniss had decided early on that if it was a boy she wanted to honor her father. She looked out the bedroom window at the night sky. The winter constellations would start to gain prominence soon and she turned to Peeta with an idea.

“What do you think of Orion?”

Peeta contemplated the name. “The hunter.” He smiled. She knew he understood. He sighed. “It is appropriate, given the circumstances. One of the brightest constellations in the middle of dark winter. I like it.” Then he laughed. “But you know I’m going to call him Rye for short.”

Katniss smirked at the grain reference. “You’re such a baker.”

 

If everyone in town was initially in a celebratory mood, there were also unsettling things to contend with. Commander Granger had been killed in action, but there remained the peacekeepers under his leadership. Many had fled when it was obvious they were losing, but not all of them. The rebel leadership declared that they should all be executed for the enemies they were, but Peeta managed to plead on behalf of Avery Davidson and everyone in town called for Glenn’s release.

The peacekeepers deemed to be loyal to the Capitol were quickly tried, and executed. Katniss and Peeta found it appalling, and wished the rebels had shown some mercy and decency, and given them the chance to flip sides. But even Avery admitted most of them couldn’t be trusted. It was a reminder to everyone that the war was not over, and it damped the celebrations.

Next came the surge of volunteering. People signed up with the rebel army as they advanced on the Capitol, securing the various districts along the way. Avery joined them, his knowledge of the Capitol forces being found very useful.

The rebel leadership had demonstrated some reluctance to accept Peeta’s father’s assurance of his loyalty to their cause. It was only when he offered to hand over helpful intelligence about the Capitol that they finally accepted his word and confirmed his allegiance to their cause.

“There’s no going back now,” Arden said as they were visiting less than a week after the rebels had taken over Cardinal.

“Let’s just hope these people have what it takes,” Mr. McIntyre answered.

“What if they don’t?” Katniss asked.

“Then we are in for very dark days ahead. But with all the districts falling into rebel hands, we have a chance, so long as we all stick together,” her father-in-law replied.

 

As the town regrouped after the battle and began to repair and rebuild the damaged structures, Peeta joined Katniss, Violet, and Logan when they returned to the Everdeen family’s home in the woods. Together they laid their parents to rest. Katniss finally understood her mother’s pain as she surveilled the remains of their burned cabin. If it hadn’t been for Peeta and her little boy, she was certain she would not have been able to endure it.

As they were parting, Logan, who had decided to remain in the forest along with Fern’s family, hugged his sisters and promised to come visit Shelter Lake when they finally settled in. Violet chose to stay in Cardinal in order to attend school.

Despite all the times that her family had spent apart over the years, without the glue of their parents, saying goodbye to Logan felt especially bittersweet for Katniss. She took comfort that at least the rebel fighting had moved on from their district. And she understood Logan’s desire to remain in the forest. It was his way to hold on to the life they had shared with their parents.

When Katniss and Peeta returned home, they discussed their plans for moving to Shelter Lake. After some deliberation, and not a little pleading from friends and family, Abby in particular, they decided it was prudent to hold off until at least spring. They wanted Violet to settle in first and get comfortable with life in town, plus there was the matter of properly preparing their new home.

As the rebels gained control of districts, they also were taking over control of the trains. Soon, they were promised, the supplies that had become desperately low would be flowing back into town in the same way their coal would flow out. Katniss and Peeta both agreed that waiting for improved access to goods would help make their home more suitable, especially with the baby. The first item on the list was an actual wood stove.

 

_Peeta_

Everyone was becoming cautiously optimistic that the war would conclude soon. Everyone except for Father. The rebel leader had reaffirmed that the town was back under William McIntyre’s guidance, and encouraged him to provide whatever resources his son-in-law, Justin Donner, needed to reopen the medicine factory. On the surface it all seemed so positive, and it confused Peeta to see his father so uneasy.

He knocked on the door to his study one afternoon, and, when he was invited in, he asked his father straight out why he was so reluctant to accept the good news.

“Because I’ve been here before. It was only thirteen years ago that I stood looking out that window watching the trains arrive for the first time with all the Capitol promises and guarantees.” He got up and walked over to the window. “Has anything really changed? The players are different, but there’s really no way to be certain about the outcome.”

“But the rebels want to establish real democracy,” Peeta argued. They’d learned a bit about it in school. The Capitol textbooks had insisted that the government promoted it in Panem, even while they excused its absence due to security reasons.

“Any one thing could go wrong,” his father answered. “Everything hinges on the absolute loyalty and commitment of all the districts. Especially District 2 if we can finally secure their weapons, and, even more so, District 13’s continued support is essential. So long as the Capitol has access to nuclear weapons, it’s only District 13 that can call their bluff on our behalf.”

With a new family to look out for, it made Peeta worry. But what his father said next was more disturbing.

“Peeta, if it does fall apart… You and Katniss need to get away from here.”

“Why?” he asked.

“Because if our district falls back into Capitol hands there won’t be any protection for you. I don’t know if information about Katniss killing the peacekeeper got out beyond our borders, but I do know anyone close to me will be in grave danger. Ever since I became a traitor by revealing Capitol secrets— things I learned from Billy in particular— they will not be forgiving. Billy especially will see to it. Not just because of the rebels, but he’ll blame me for Russell’s death, too.”

“What about Genny? And Justin?”

He sighed. “I think they have a chance, and Justin is still a Capitol citizen. Genny has never directly opposed her brother, so I think he’ll find a way to provide her with immunity.”

“But not you,” Peeta said. His father shook his head. “Or me,” Peeta added. His father didn’t need to answer.

Appearing to want to change the tone of the discussion, his father reminded him, “But nothing is for certain. It may all go as the rebels intend, and you and your family will be safe.” He then gave a little chuckle. “I like the name you chose. I think Katniss’s father would be proud.”

It occurred to Peeta that there was more to discuss. “I want my son to have a last name. I don’t want him to grow up like I did, not knowing for certain.”

His father looked perplexed. “You were always entitled to my name. I blame myself for not making that clearer when you were younger.” He hesitated and returned to his chair. “I wasn’t an exemplary parent, Peeta. I’m still not.”

“Actually, Arden said it was because you didn’t want to force yourself on me, make me accept you against my will.”

“Arden gives me too much credit sometimes, but he isn’t entirely wrong. Still, I apologize. If you wish to use the McIntyre name, or give it to your son, of course it’s yours.” He paused and gave a small huff. “For what it’s worth.”

Peeta looked at him quizzically. “What do you mean?”

“Peeta, you chose your name— your first name. That meant something. Your mother’s last name just happened, too. Do you really think having my name is so special? I grew up never knowing my real name. Like you, I chose it.” His father leaned forward, his arms resting on the desktop. “My mother was a shell-shocked mute who never said a word to me.”

Peeta was fascinated— his father had never spoken before about his early life. “What happened to her?” he asked.

His father shrugged. “Died, I guess. I never found out. I just woke up one morning and she was gone. I was five at the time. I never knew who my father was.”

Peeta realized that his father had been the same age as when his mother had died, and, though his life hadn’t been easy, it didn’t compare to the abandonment his father had experienced. He felt ashamed for all the times he’d given in to self-pity.

Before he could dwell on it further, Father continued, “I’d read a story one day about someone called William the Conqueror. It appealed to me because I thought the name sounded strong. I didn’t have much to feel strong about back then.”

Peeta sat forward, and asked, “How did you learn to read?”

“A few, well-meaning souls ran a school. Nothing like we have here— it was very improvised. Mostly I went because it was somewhere safe to go during the day. And I realized fairly quickly that if I could read I would have an advantage. It’s why when I saw how much you wanted to help Katniss to learn to read, I knew I had to help.”

“So they were good to you, these people?”

“Yeah, but it wasn’t them that finally drove me out,” his father said with a frown, staring at some invisible spot on the desk. “One day, when I’d finally had enough, I decided to leave the city, to head south. I saw a broken street sign with the name McIntyre on it. To me, it sounded okay and I was tired of not having an identity of my own.”

He looked up at Peeta. “So, don’t you see? All these years you’ve been worrying about having a name that was written on a piece of rusted metal lying in the mud. It’s not exactly a prize. It doesn’t mean anything.”

Peeta reached over and picked up the squirrel paperweight and smiled. “Actually Father, it means a lot. To me.”

And then, with a smirk, he looked across at his father and added, “Grandpa.”

William McIntyre actually laughed.


	19. Dark Days

**Chapter Eighteen - Dark Days**

_Katniss_

By the beginning of October the earlier euphoria from driving out the Capitol peacekeepers began to wane. The restoration of inter-district trade that had been promised failed to materialize. The trains, which had been commandeered by the rebels, became more infrequent and unreliable, and eventually they stopped. Communication became unreliable as well. Phone lines were damaged and transmission towers destroyed. But a noticeable trend in the messages that did reach Cardinal emerged— the war was not going as well as expected.

Then the town went dark. With electricity no longer flowing in to Cardinal, the town fired up their moth-balled coal powered generator, which had sat dormant ever since the reliable Capitol-provided electricity had replaced it. Several capable citizens went to work operating it, among them Danny much to Abby’s relief since she hated the idea of him in the mines.

Many of Cardinal’s people left to join the fight, desperate to bring an end to the conflict. While the diminished population relieved some of the pressure on the dwindling resources, it also reduced the pool of available workers to help keep the district operating. School was suspended for the older grades when attendance fell dramatically as many students left to help support their families or the war effort, leaving only the younger grades in session.

“Don’t even think about it!” Katniss said to Peeta when he happened to mention that two more of their classmates had left for the front lines. She could see how startled he was at the passion in her voice, so she tried to explain.

“I couldn’t bear it. Not after all the months we were separated, with the baby, and after losing…” She couldn’t continue.

He took her in his arms and, whispering into her hair, reassured her he would not leave her side. “Besides,” he said, “We’re both needed here, to help out with those who are staying behind.”

The medicine factory did not reopen, and, with no trains or markets for their coal, Mr. McIntyre announced to his family that he was suspending all lease payments from business owners. He also released any coal reserves beyond what was required for the town’s power generation for the free use of the town’s population to heat their homes. There was no other way to pay them for their labor.

When he expressed his apologies for the state of things to his daughter, Genny told him she was proud of what he’d done, despite of the material loss of her inheritance. “You’re still looking after the town, just as you promised,” she said to him.

With the Capitol currency now worthless, the people of Cardinal resorted to bartering, and the shelves in the shops became barer by the day.

Much of the expected harvest on the outskirts of town had been damaged during the rebel take-over, and it was becoming very apparent that it was going to be a lean winter regardless of the measures the town took. It was a long time until spring and the plots of available land could be planted again. The surviving livestock became highly valued, and the people were reluctant to slaughter them for food, realizing they were more critical for breeding to expand their numbers.

Cardinal’s success at attracting people and the dominance of a single industry in conjunction with growing reliance on Capitol imports had weakened their ability to stand alone. As the temperatures dropped, the spectre of too many people partnered with too few resources loomed over Cardinal. But they were a tight-knit community and were determined.

 _‘We just need to get through the winter and then the war will be over,’_ was a common affirmation heard around town. No one suggested that the outcome would be anything other than a victory for the rebels.

With no trains resupplying him with inventory, Arden was forced to close up the General Store, and several other businesses followed in his footsteps. One positive development for him, though, was the closing of the tavern. Arden kept the diminishing supply of his liquor for his own bartering and consumption, and thus the primary attraction of the infamous place was gone. Whatever bottles that weren’t in Arden’s personal stash became a valued currency for trade.

“Well, I guess it’s fitting,” he said the day he closed up for the last time. “I started out dealing in whiskey, and now I’ve come full circle. Just as well— I’m not getting any younger,” the seventy-year-old muttered. But Katniss could see the regret in his eyes as he paid his employees by letting them take all that remained on the shelves in lieu of wages.

Arden’s workers joined the ranks of the women who had been employed at the tavern, and, along with the rest of the town, they directed their energy into helping harvest what little crops could be gathered from the fields and orchards. Katniss knew she wasn’t the only one wondering at their fate when winter arrived and the harvest was complete.

It was Violet who'd spoken up when Justin first shared his concerns about the looming food shortage. “There’s food in the forest,” she reminded them as she held up Arden’s healing plant book that was in her lap. “There are plants for eating, not just medicine. Roots and nuts are available this time of year. And Papa taught us to hunt and trap.”

Violet could often be found spending time at the clinic finding ways to help out Justin and Genny. And she had taken an almost possessive interest in the healing plant book, reviewing it when she wasn’t attending school. Katniss suspected that it was her way of holding on to their mother, looking at the pages and illustrations. Katniss drew comfort in how well her sister had adjusted to life in town. It was fortunate that school remained operational for the younger children, because Violet seemed to flourish on the routine and challenge it provided.

There weren’t many guns left in District 12. Most of them, including those confiscated from the peacekeepers, left town along with the volunteers. But many people were familiar with Katniss’s prowess with the bow, and they knew about all the time Peeta had spent with her family learning about how to survive in the woods. There were few people left in Cardinal who knew more than the most basic forest skills.

But at the mention of hunting, a sickening feeling came over Katniss. The horrible sound of the dying peacekeeper, her arrow through his throat, echoed in her memory. “I can’t…” she stammered.

Genny, seeing her distress, answered, “We wouldn’t expect you to lead a hunting party out to the woods. Not with Orion less than two months old. But perhaps you could help teach some of the town residents what you know about trapping. Meanwhile, Peeta and Violet could take some people…”

“No!” she screamed, and everyone looked at her. All she could envision was the unbearable thought of being separated from them. Katniss picked up her son, now whimpering in response to his mother's distress, and Peeta went over to where she stood by the window.

“It’ll be okay. There haven’t been any peacekeepers spotted for ages. And we wouldn’t go far. We need this Katniss, for everyone’s sake,” he explained.

She knew he was right, and nodded when he repeated Genny’s request that she help teach some basic snares to people in town. Passing along her mother’s skills at tanning, along with her father’s knowledge of hunting and preparing the wild game, would be a huge help, too.

Genny spoke up next. “I’m hearing that some people want to return to Hespera and Aurora. Reopen the mines there for the convenient fuel access, and prepare land for gardens in the spring.”

Katniss thought about Abby’s home in Hespera, and, though the homes there were poor, it was preferable to the tightly packed shanty town that had been hastily constructed when Commander Granger had relocated them to Cardinal. She understood their desire to leave. She herself felt a kind of claustrophobia in town, even though logically she knew it was the best place for now. Spring couldn’t come fast enough.

 

By the middle of October, Katniss finally agreed to her son moving from her and Peeta’s room to the nursery that had been prepared, but only after seeing how Peeta had decorated it so beautifully. The walls were painted cheery colors and covered in fanciful designs.

One night after she placed her sleepy boy back in his crib after his feeding, she began to sing Peeta’s lullaby. She smiled at the familiar sound of footsteps behind her, and turned to tease Peeta about waking the baby after she had just gotten him to sleep. She was startled by the deep voice that answered her.

“I’m sorry. I’ll try to be quieter from now on,” Mr. McIntyre said quietly. “I heard you singing.”

Katniss was sheepish as she told her father-in-law that she thought he was her husband. “It should be me who apologizes,” she said, “for waking you.”

The man shook his head, and said it was a song that had helped quiet his troubles when they kept him awake. He added how it had been a long time since he’d heard it.

Ever since she had returned, Katniss’s nights were often sleepless, listening for her son’s cry or from flashbacks to the day her parents had been killed. She remembered how Mr. McIntyre wandered the halls at night. Peeta had shared what he'd learned about his father’s past, and it occurred to Katniss that he might be the one to talk to about the disturbing thoughts that kept her awake as well.

“Does it ever get easier?” she whispered. “Remembering the things from the past?”

He gave her a wary look, but then his face became wistful, and he said, “No. But you learn ways to cope with it.”

Katniss thanked him for taking in Violet, and he replied that it was good to have the house filled with happy sounds. Abby and Violet were welcome additions, and he explained how having them all, along with the ensuing joyful chaos, actually made things more tolerable.

He looked at Orion. “They find the ways in through the cracks and bring some light to push back the darkness.”

Katniss yawned and rose to go back to bed. She asked if he was, too, but he went over and sat in the rocking chair. With a smile, he said that he was going to stay a little while, if that was all right. She nodded her consent and left him with his grandson.

 

As winter approached, there was little news from away, and Katniss grew concerned for her brother. Logan hadn’t come to town once since they had met to bury their parents, despite his promises to stay in touch. It felt like he was avoiding her, or maybe it was just the town, now that he was so close to Fern and her family. Even with Orion, Peeta, the rest of the McIntyres, and the closeness of friends, she felt the ache of her splintering family.

“You know it’s only a matter of time until Logan signs up with the rebels to fight on the front lines. Fern, too probably,” Peeta said when she mentioned her brother’s absence.

Katniss shot him a distressed look. “He promised he’d at least come see us at Shelter Lake in the spring.”

Peeta’s voice was almost apologetic. “He probably said that so you wouldn't try to stop him. He’s dealing with what happened to your parents differently from you,” he said. “He wants to lash out. Plus, he’s carrying the extra burden of guilt. Maybe this is his way of fixing things. We all want the rebels to win and for this to be over.”

“But nothing gets fixed for me if he dies, too. It’ll just add to the pain he leaves behind,” Katniss replied.

 

As the town pulled together to provide for their needs, things stabilized and spirits began to improve. When New Year's approached, everyone accepted that the festivities would be less than stellar, but then Abby and Danny announced their engagement and how they decided to celebrate their wedding on the holiday. The whole town showed up, eager to lose themselves in a bit of fun and the unusually generous food that was provided for the occasion. Arden even surrendered some of his precious liquor, which lightened everyone's spirit.

And, just as she had proclaimed a year and a half earlier, Abby insisted on a toasting. When it was described to them, the town found it to be a quaint idea.

Clara had recently delivered her second boy, and when Genny revealed that she and Justin were expecting their first, the celebration multiplied.

“Clara and I have been convinced since we were little girls that our babies would be best friends, just like us,” Genny explained.

“And get married,” Clara added with a mirthful laugh. “So you must have a girl, what with me having only boys. One way or another, the Donners and the Mellarks are going to be connected!”

Abby clasped Katniss’s hands and, grinning broadly, her eyes shining, she declared, “Then we’d be more than just best friends, we’d be family!”

Katniss hugged the bride and truly understood in that moment what her father-in-law had said that night in Orion’s room. The darkness was indeed restrained that night as she soaked in the love and joy around her.

 

Katniss was restless to return to Shelter Lake. As soon as winter passed it’s prime, and, as Peeta’s eighteenth birthday approached, they began to make plans to hike to their home to inspect how it had fared over the many months.

After much coaxing, she and Peeta agreed to leave Orion in the willing and capable hands of Abby, Genny, Agnes and Clara with their assurances that he would be spoiled rotten. There was likely much work to be done and the distraction of an infant would make the task more time-consuming. Plus, they would only be gone for a few days.

It was also decided that when the time came to return permanently to their home by the lake, Violet would remain in Cardinal. She had begged to stay behind to go to school, and Genny offered to be her guardian. Her sister would move in with Genny and Justin, and Katniss was convinced by seeing how happy Violet was at the thought of living so close to the clinic.

The only person who seemed to take the news with reticence was her father-in-law. Katniss suspected it was due to seeing his house lose another resident. Ever since Abby had moved out to live with Danny in their new home, the McIntyre mansion had grown increasingly quiet. As much as she longed to return to the forest, it gave Katniss a degree of regret to take Peeta and Orion away from him. She reminded herself, though, that they would only be a few hours away and would come back often to visit, and her resolve was restored.

But the couple wasn’t prepared for what awaited them when they arrived at Shelter Lake. With dismay, they saw how the rebels had left the place a disaster. Garbage and debris was scattered everywhere, and the house has been ransacked and emptied of provisions. Their precious home had become a mess.

Katniss began to cry. All through the winter she had clung to the memory of this little piece of sanctuary in the midst of her dark thoughts, and seeing it so abused was crushing. But, with Peeta’s encouraging words, the two of them threw themselves into the task of cleaning up and repairing what they could. The sight of his beautiful canvas ripped from the wall and soiled with muddy foot prints threatened to break Katniss’s heart, but Peeta laughed it off and promised her that it was salvageable, to make her smile.

 

_Peeta_

Peeta spent the rest of the afternoon gathering the debris into two piles. One was comprised of items that could be burned. While he tended the fire of the one pile, he collected the rest in a shallow pit far away from the house and the water and buried it. By the time he had finished, he spotted Katniss down by the edge of the lake. She'd been tidying up the inside of their home, repairing the furniture, and saving what was still useful. She'd split and piled wood beside the house.

He wiped his brow, because, even though it was still cool, the exertion had been taxing. He was ready to stop for the day and enjoy their home again. As he approached Katniss, he became distressed when he saw her head hanging low and her shoulders trembling. He rushed to her side and pulled her into his arms.

“What’s wrong?” he asked.

She turned to him, her face wet with tears. “I just came down to get water for our dinner and to clean up, and it all came rushing back to me. My father taught me to swim here. And over there in a few months the katniss will bloom. I always brought home the tubers for Mama. She said the flowers were her favorite because they reminded her of me.”

“You know that they mean a lot to me, too. Because of your mother’s fondness for them, I got a gift that changed my life,” Peeta comforted. “I miss them, too, Katniss.”

“It’s been a year,” she replied, her voice catching. “I just realized that this week is the anniversary of when I came home. I can’t help wonder, if I’d been there just a little earlier, maybe I could have stopped it, saved them.”

“But maybe you could have died, too. And I would have lost you and Rye.”

Katniss rested her head against his shoulder as they looked out over the lake, and for the first time she described killing the peacekeeper, and how it haunted her.

“You didn’t have a choice, Katniss,” he whispered. “You were defending people you loved.”

They remained at the water’s edge in silence while the sun sank behind the cliff. As the sky began to deepen in color, taking on the shades that Peeta loved so much, Katniss spoke in a hushed voice, “You said to me the night we got married that there might be painful days ahead.” She ran her finger over the smooth surface of the anthracite pendant around her neck.

“I also said that we would face it together.”

“Never leave me,” she whispered.

The flash and rumble of an approaching storm roused them, and they made their way to the cement house as the first rain drops began. Once inside, Peeta built up the fire in the fireplace, expressing regret that they would likely not see a wood stove any time soon. Katniss joined him by the hearth with a simple meal of items they had brought with them. She promised they would have fresh meat tomorrow when she went out hunting in the morning.

“You don’t have to do that, Katniss. Not if you aren’t ready yet. I’ll go.”

She shook her head. “No, I want to. Maybe I need to, that it’ll make me feel closer to them and how we lived together, instead of only remembering what happened with the peacekeepers.”

She sounded calm, but he could feel the emotional turbulence just under the surface. As he reached out to comfort her, she surprised him by, instead of accepting his gentle embrace, she grabbed his face in her hands and began to kiss him with an almost ferocious passion. It took only a second for him to respond, and he returned her greedy kisses with hungry ones of his own.

They stumbled over to the bed and ungracefully fell onto it, a tangle of limbs and partially removed clothing. Gasping for breath, Katniss pushed away and tugged off her remaining clothes. With haste she released her hair from the unkempt braid, and, when he was too slow, she assisted her husband in removing the remaining items of his clothing. She pushed him down beneath her and, with her hands and lips, attacked his neck, chest— everywhere— with a aggressiveness that made Peeta chuckle a little, until his own passion got the best of him, and he deftly flipped her over and returned the attention.

She cried out with a complete lack of restraint, having no concern for being overheard in a crowded house, arched her back as his lips fell on her breast and he used his hands to further stoke the fire that her moans revealed to him. He realized what this was about. It was Katniss’s way of fighting back the bad memories, the losses, the death. And he joined her in the declaration.

Her fingernails raked his back and he could feel her teeth nipping lightly on his shoulder, and with the primal nature of it, he too became swept away. He sought her lips again, and, as he guided himself into her, they both uttered moans into each other’s mouths. They began to move together with an intense and frantic rhythm, matching the drumming of the rain outside.

Katniss dug her fingers into his hips as one of Peeta’s hands became tangled in her hair and the other greedily claimed her breast. And they both proclaimed to the dark with their passionate cries that they were alive, as if defying the world to prove otherwise.

When they awoke the next morning, Peeta could tell that Katniss was missing their son by the way she gazed out the door toward Cardinal. They had lain in bed listening to the rain as it faded away into the night and held each other close, whispering about how the next time they were here, the flowers would be blooming and a few months after that, they would be swimming in the lake again. They had talked about how Orion would learn to swim in those waters one day and how they would teach him to hunt.

“He’ll be just like you,” Peeta predicted when he went to stand behind her at the door, his arms hugging her, “with quiet feet.”

“How do you know?” Katniss laughed.

“Because he is so much like you in every other way,” Peeta explained. “He looks just like you.”

Rye did have her coloring and, most wonderful to Peeta, his mother’s eyes.

“And my lungs!” Katniss joked.

Peeta grinned, but then he suspected she was lost in a memory of her father's singing, by the way she grew quiet and clung to him.

As was often the case, the day following the storm was beautiful. The air was fresh and everything seemed greener and revitalized. Katniss approached him as he was preparing to get back to work and presented him with the first dandelion of the spring. He grinned at her as he accepted her gift, full of promise of days to come. But still there remained a sense of something ominous lurking that he couldn’t grasp. _'Once the rebels win, things will be better,'_ he reminded himself.

Peeta inspected the burning pile and was satisfied that the rain had helped to extinguish the fire. He buried the charred remains and turned his attention to the remaining things needing repair, while Katniss hunted. By the end of the day, they were satisfied with the results of their labor. The following morning, they quickly ate breakfast, made a list of things to bring next time, and, within an hour of rising, they were on their way back to Cardinal.

Agnes greeted them as they entered the kitchen, and the grave urgency on her face set Katniss into a panic.

“No dear, Orion is okay,” the cook said, grasping her hand, “It’s Arden.” Agnes turned to Peeta and continued, “He’s with your sister and Justin. Your father is there, too.”

They dropped their gear and rushed to the clinic. Once inside, they could hear a gruff voice yelling at everyone to stop making such a fuss.

“What happened?” Peeta demanded of his father when they entered the examining room where they were all gathered.

“Mild heart attack, early this morning,” Father replied.

“Take more than that to take me down,” Arden huffed. “I’m like a cat. I’ve got at least a couple more lives left in me to use up.”

Genny chuckled and shook her head, and Justin finally agreed to release him, but only if he moved into the McIntyre house where others could keep an eye on him.

“What about my whiskey?” Arden fired back. “Who’s gonna make sure nobody breaks into the store cellar and steals my inventory?”

Peeta said he’d ask Glenn and a few of the dependable people who made up Cardinal’s police force to see to it that it was secure. Once placated, Arden, the grayness of his complexion evident now that the fiery passion had drained from his face, was released into his friend William’s care.

Once Arden was settled in and Katniss and Orion were asleep, Peeta made his way downstairs. As expected, there was light spilling into the hall from the study. He gave the partly open door a gentle knock and entered when his father invited him in.

“I’m glad you’re still up, Peeta,” he said, “There’s been another development since you were away that you need to know.”

Peeta realized for the first time that his father looked gray, too, not unlike his old friend, Arden, though his father was only fifty-two. His pale blond hair didn’t camouflage the silver that had invaded, but it was the dark circles under his eyes and the pallor of his skin that made Peeta grow concerned. He chided himself for not noticing earlier.

“Is everything all right?” he asked. “Are you doing okay?”

“I’m fine,” Father gave a dismissive shake of his head. “But while you were away, we received news, and I’ve been thinking of what needs to be done.”

He got up from the desk and walked over to his armchair and sat down. Peeta followed and sat on the end of the sofa closest to him and leaned in expectantly. His father detailed his worries about the state of the rebellion. But the most damning news had reached Cardinal the first night he and Katniss were at the lake. District 13, which had been so important to the rebel side, had been attacked.

“No one knows for sure, but it’s believed that the Capitol bombed them. There’s been no communication from them since.” He let the news sink in, before continuing, “There’s even the suggestion that it was nuclear.”

Worry lines creased Peeta’s forehead. He knew enough from school about the dangers of nuclear fallout, but he expressed skepticism when he responded. “I thought all those weapons in District Two were under rebel control.”

“It would seem the Capitol didn’t leave the mountain fortress empty-handed.”

“Thirteen isn’t that far north of us. If something that big had happened, wouldn’t we have seen some sign of it?” Peeta wasn’t sure if it was wishful thinking that motivated him.

His father gave a tired nod. “Perhaps. But Justin has been watching closely for any sign of sickness, just in case. I’ve never quite been able to figure out Thirteen’s leadership. A part of me wonders it they didn’t make a deal with the Capitol.”

Peeta looked at him with dismay. “And abandon the rest of us?”

His father gave a grim half smile. “If they did, I’ll give them grudging admiration for making a better deal than the rest of us. Regardless, if Thirteen is indeed out of the fight, it’s only a matter of time…”

The air in the room seemed to grow very heavy. “A matter of time until what?” Peeta asked, although he knew the answer.

“The Capitol is going to win,” Father declared gravely. “They have nothing to lose, and, with the taste of victory over Thirteen, they will be even bolder.”

“The rebels have nothing to lose either, and we have the numbers on our side,” Peeta replied, but his father shook his head.

“That’ll just prolong the war. We lack leadership without Thirteen, and the deterrent their weapons provided. Two’s arsenal could be cut off, which I expect will be the Capitol’s next priority. The war is already won, the rebels just don’t know it yet. Sometimes, you keep fighting and even thinking you’re winning, but you’re too close to it. You miss the bigger picture and are too desperate to realize that you’ve lost.”

His face had that unfocused quality, but when he turned to Peeta, his eyes were hard and his expression grim. “The rebels will keep fighting and dying, and a lot more damage will be done before they realize it’s over.”

Peeta wondered what kind of experience had given his father this dire wisdom. And it occurred to him that there was still so much about the man he didn’t know. They both sat quietly considering the situation.

When Father spoke again, his gray complexion was warmed by an inner intensity. “Pack up your family and leave here, Peeta. Go soon, take what you need, but not so much to slow you down.”

Peeta furrowed his brow. “Shelter Lake isn’t that far. We can make several trips if necessary…”

“No,” his father cut him off, his eyes glassy. “Don’t stop at the lake. Keep going, farther up into the mountains, over them if possible. Get as far from here or the other district territories as you can. Disappear, lay low.”

Peeta was now alarmed. “I know this is about Billy, but is he really a threat all the way out here? It’s been so long, and I can’t imagine he would even care…”

Father shook his head stubbornly. “He’ll care. I still believe Genny will be okay, but you and Katniss…”

“And you,” Peeta added. “Arden, too. If I’m not safe, none of us are.”

“Arden’s in no condition. And as for me…” he let out a deep breath, “I have two promises left that matter. One was to your mother to protect you. The other was to look after this town. I’m not going to abandon the people here. They fought aggressively alongside the rebels— Sam Jeffries and his men, miners, shop keepers. They are going to need someone to take the blame for it when the time comes. It has to be me. Whatever influence Billy has, he’ll persuade whoever is in charge to be satisfied with my taking the penalty. The Capitol will be happy to have an excuse to leave the town and workers unharmed and useful. The rest of the people, your friends, I think they’ll be safe. Maybe, some day, it’ll be safe to return, but I wouldn’t risk you or your family’s lives by coming back here for a long time, if at all.”

He took a moment and said, “And Peeta, keep it to yourself where you are going.”

It was too much to absorb. Peeta shook his head. There had to be a better solution, he demanded of himself, but he couldn’t think of what it could be. “I’ll talk to Katniss in the morning,” was the only answer he could give at that moment.

When they finally parted and headed for bed, all Peeta could think about was the implications of what his father had told him. By leaving here, he would be saying goodbye to everyone who remained. It was possible he’d never see any of them again. Maybe he and Katniss could survive, hiding away deep in the forest or up in the mountains. But one outcome was certain— his father would not live through this. For the first time in years old nightmares, the ones from his early childhood, haunted him.

The next morning after breakfast had been served and the dishes cleaned, and while Agnes took inventory of the sparse contents of the pantry and cellar, Peeta and Katniss debated what to do. Orion played happily on the floor beside them on the yellow quilt with the blue forget-me-nots that Peeta’s mother had made for him. It had faded, and was growing thread bare, but on such a bleak day, it gave Peeta a sense of continuity and connection.

“We could head southeast,” Katniss said. “My father’s people came from the high mountains in that region. There still may be Everdeens up there.”

Peeta nodded at the idea. “If we are to start from scratch it would be easier if it was with family.” He felt his heart ache. The two of them had already lost so many, and now he was facing leaving more. “Even if it's with distant cousins, it would be better than going it alone.”

“I wish there was some word about Logan,” Katniss whispered. “And I hate taking Violet away from school and the clinic. They’re the things that have helped give her life some hope after losing Mama and Papa. She’s grown to love it here.”

“She could stay,” Peeta offered, but when he realized how it must sound, he quickly added, “I mean, if she really wants to. Genny loves her so much, and Justin raves about her aptitude. I know he’d love to train her in medicine. They’d raise her as their own, keep her safe.”

“Maybe safer than she’d be with us,” Katniss whispered, and he saw her shudder as she looked at their giggling baby, so oblivious basking in the warmth of the kitchen and his parent’s doting love. 

“But Katniss, if we did that, it could be the same as saying goodbye forever.”

Katniss placed her face into her hands and the tears started to flow. “How do we do this, Peeta?”

He opened his arms, inviting her into his embrace as his only answer. She moved off her stool without hesitation. Wrapping her arms tightly around him, his shirt soaking up the dampness from her face, she hiccuped, “We let her choose for herself.”

Nine-year-old Violet was remarkably calm as they discussed the dilemma and the decision before them. She surprised them both when, after taking a short walk around the newly planted garden out back of the kitchen, she announced her answer with clear and dispassionate logic.

“If I stay, and Logan comes back, I can tell him— only he and I know about Papa's family's whereabouts. Plus, if things change here, I’ll know where to come find you to let you know it’s safe to return.”

She was so pragmatic and composed that Peeta couldn’t help laugh.

“What’s so funny?” the sisters both asked together.

“If I didn’t know better, you actually could be Genny’s girl! You’re both so much alike.”

The smiles faded quickly, however, when the weight of the decision sank in.

Violet hugged her big sister tightly. “Oh Katniss. It doesn’t have to mean forever. One day, people will forget, and you and Peeta won’t be in danger by coming back. And no matter where you are, you’ll always be my sister. I’ll be here and you’ll be somewhere in the mountains with Peeta and Little Rye. And you’ll be with Papa’s kin. That’s almost like having a part of him back.”

Peeta couldn’t help get choked up at his sister-in-law’s optimistic wisdom. It was the only thing that would make this decision bearable for Katniss.  
And on that note they began to make their plans to leave— the three of them into unfamiliar country and an even more uncertain future.

Soon all that was left was the painful task of saying goodbye.


	20. Saying Goodbye, Saying Hello

**Chapter Nineteen - Saying Goodbye, Saying Hello**

_Peeta_

Despite his father’s urging, a couple more months passed before Peeta and Katniss left Cardinal. Katniss excused the delay, saying she wanted to be sure the weather was in their favor, especially with them heading into the mountains. Traveling with a baby, it had made sense. But Peeta knew that for Katniss, as with him, saying goodbye wasn’t about simply waiting on the weather.

By the time April was drawing to a close, Abby insisted they at least wait until Katniss’s eighteenth birthday. One more thing to celebrate as they all faced a worrisome future. Who knew when or if they would celebrate together again?

The night of Katniss’s birthday, on the day before she and Peeta planned to leave, their friends and family shared a modest meal made up of the specially hoarded items from their pantries. Garnett and Clara even donated some of their precious flour for a cake, which of course Peeta decorated. Since sugar was running so low, in place of icing he chose edible flowers that were in bloom, including even a dandelion, that he and Violet had collected out in the meadows and forest near town. Soon new crops would be ready, much to everyone’s relief.

Genny, now over six-months pregnant, sat down with a loud sigh in one of the comfortable armchairs in the McIntyre parlor. “Ooh!” she exclaimed and they all turned to her as she clutched her belly. She gave a chuckle, “This one is going to keep me up tonight, I can tell.”

“I’m sorry we won't be here,” Katniss said, “To see if it’s a boy or girl.”

“Girl!” Clara exclaimed, and they all laughed.

Peeta went to sit beside his sister, and she leaned over and mouthed the words, “I think it’s going to be a boy.” Peeta quirked his eyebrows in question, and she grabbed his hand and placed it on her belly. He could feel the kicking and grinned. “He’s just like you were,” Genny whispered with a wink.

Mabel, the maid, fighting emotions, excused herself to go finish her chores before the time for goodbyes came around. She wished Peeta and Katniss well and quickly left the room while she still had her composure under control. Agnes was more tearful, though the woman, now in her seventies, promised that she and Genny would take good care of his father, making sure he didn’t neglect himself.

“Be sure to keep on eye on Arden, too,” Peeta said and Agnes rolled her eyes.

“That one is a much bigger handful,” she snorted, but assured him she would do her best.

Peeta looked over at the two men as they stood conversing by the hearth, and, for the moment, he was comforted by the cook’s promises.

Abby hugged him and kissed Rye’s head as she and Danny prepared to leave when the evening wound down. “Come back when it’s safe,” she implored, choking back tears as she clung tightly to Katniss. Peeta nodded his head, but he could see in Danny’s eyes that he knew it was impossible to guarantee.

Katniss had spent all of that afternoon with Violet helping her to pack up her few things to move to the Donners' home. Katniss turned to Justin. “You keep Violet busy at the clinic,” her voice threatened to crack when she whispered, “Please take care of my sister, don’t let her be sad…”

Genny embraced her and Justin whispered, “You know we will. But we’re more worried for you. Please promise that you’ll all stay safe.”

Garnett and Clara pledged to always keep Peeta's job open for him at the bakery for when he returned, and Glenn gave his word to keep an eye on all of them and make sure they behaved themselves, which made everyone smile.

Peeta knew the most difficult farewells would happen in the morning. Soon after the sun rose, Violet came into their room as Katniss dressed Rye and packed her remaining things. When it was time go downstairs, Violet helped place Rye in the carrier on her sister’s back.

“It’s okay, Katniss,” Violet assured her. She sounded nine going on twenty when she reminded her of how she was needed to help at the clinic. She would continue to assist others in understanding the healing book and with identifying edible plants in the forest. “I love helping Justin and Genny, and working with Abby, too.”

“Mama would be so proud of you, Cricket,” Katniss said and gave her sister a tight hug, and, hand-in-hand, the two of them followed Peeta downstairs to bid their final goodbyes to the two remaining people. However, Peeta was dismayed when only Arden greeted them at the bottom of the stairs. He glanced down the hall, but Arden placed his hand on his arm.

“He’s not here, Peeta," he said gently. "Your father left before dawn to check on progress in Aurora.”

Disbelief, then anger, and finally hurt washed over Peeta, but Arden took him aside and with an uncharacteristic degree of emotion explained to him that his father couldn’t face it.

“You know how he is, Peeta. He’s always had so little that mattered to him enough to cause pain. Try to forgive him for this. It’s the only way he can let you go.”

Peeta gazed down the hall to the study, trying to comprehend the possibility he may never see his father again. Despite having found people who cared about him, Father remained in many ways a lonely man, preventing others from getting too close. Peeta set aside his own disappointment and gave a nod.

“That’s it,” Arden said, patting his shoulder. “And don’t worry, I’ll look out for him, just like always.”

Peeta gave the man a sad smile, but all the unspoken words he wanted to say to his father hung heavily in his mind.

It seemed odd— the older, more frail man looking after his younger friend when it was supposed to be the other way around. But Peeta knew it was true. And he was reassured to see the seventy-year-old had appeared to recover reasonably well living in the McIntyre home. Teasing, he told Arden to mind Agnes, that she was under strict orders to make sure he stayed healthy.

“That woman is insufferable!” he complained, but Peeta knew he enjoyed the fuss at this point in his life.

“I have something for you,” Arden added as they stepped out onto the front porch. “Your father asked me to give this to you.” It was a large envelope with Peeta’s name written on the front. “He said to not open it until you got to the lake.” Peeta looked up at him with question in his eyes, but Arden gave a shrug. “William has never been one to easily share his thoughts, even with me.”

Final embraces were shared with Violet and Arden, Orion received kisses from both his aunt and the gruff shop manager, and, with a final wave and some tears, Peeta, Katniss, and their son headed for the forest.

 

Early that evening, as Katniss was settling Rye down for the night in the cement house, Peeta took the envelope and slipped outside to go sit beside the lake. In the fading light, and with trepidation, he opened it. The page he removed was slightly rumpled, but when he turned it over his mouth opened in amazement. He felt Katniss’s hand on his shoulder, her approach as silent as ever.

“Hey, I remember that picture!” she laughed.

Peeta smiled, “It’s the one I was drawing the day you first came into Arden’s store,” he said. “I thought it got tossed out.”

“I guess not,” Katniss replied and dropped down to sit beside him, her head on his shoulder. They both smiled at a child’s sketch of his mother. Despite its lack of sophistication, they marvelled at the curious amount of detail and how that day had changed their lives.

Katniss picked up the envelope and inspected it. “There’s something else in here.”

Peeta took it from her and reached in to pull out a piece of fine artist's paper. It was a color drawing of a woman with long, honey-colored hair, curled up in an armchair with a small blond boy, the two of them wrapped up in a blanket with a story book. The woman wore an animated smile as she read, and the boy was watching her, captivated. Sunlight beamed in through the bay window beside them, but the clear sky could not compete with the blue of the woman’s eyes.

“That’s you!” Katniss exclaimed. “You look maybe... four? So that must be… your mother?” she asked, unable to conceal her amazement. “Who do you think drew that?” But as soon as Peeta looked over at her with a knowing expression she shook her head, “Oh, of course. Silly question.”

“I know that spot— it’s Father’s study,” he replied. “From the look of it, it must have been drawn the winter before she died.”

“There’s something written on the back,” Katniss said.

Peeta turned it over and, in what could only be his mother’s pretty cursive script, it read, _‘For Peat, after I’m gone.’_

Below in his father’s inelegant handwriting, he had added, _‘Your mother had me draw this for you, shortly after she became ill. She asked me to give it to you. I’m sorry it took so long for me to part with it.’_

“Well, I guess we know for certain where you inherited your artistic talent, and it wasn’t limited to just the carving,” Katniss whispered and kissed his cheek.

“I wonder if she posed for him or if he did it from memory,” Peeta mused, unable to drag his eyes away from the picture.

“I don’t know, but I do know one thing,” Katniss said.

“What’s that?”

“She was beautiful. And you can tell that your father thought so, too.”

 

They lingered longer than they intended at Shelter Lake. What was supposed to only be two, maybe three, days before striking out into the mountains beyond turned into over a week. There was such an ache at saying goodbye to this place.

Peeta closed the door behind them and they stood in silence, taking in the sight of the house, the lake, and the meadowy expanse in between that was coming into full bloom.

Katniss reached out for his hand and said, “I learned something from Mama. For her, for so many years, this was a place of sorrow. But the summer we married, when she came to visit us here, she said it was now a place of joy.

“It isn’t really about this place, Peeta. It’s what we brought to it. I will always remember Papa teaching me to swim here, summers playing and fishing with Logan, Violet, and you. It’s the place where I first really kissed you." She smiled at him. "Where I realized how much I was in love with you. Where we loved each other. It’s those things that make it precious.” She ran a hand tenderly across his cheek. “But all of those things— the memories, the way we feel— we’ll take them with us no matter where we end up.”

Peeta leaned over and kissed his wife.

 

On the second day of their hike into the mountains, they had stopped to rest and have a meal, when Katniss grabbed Peeta’s arm in warning. He looked in the direction she tipped her head, and he picked up Rye as Katniss reached for her bow.

When the hunter emerged from the trees, Katniss gasped. The man before them was the spitting image of her father, sharing the same olive complexion, only an older version with hair that was streaked with white. But it was his eyes that Peeta couldn’t ignore. They were same gray as Katniss's.

“Your name isn’t Everdeen by any chance?” Peeta asked when Katniss remained mute.

The man nodded. “That’s right,” but he didn’t offer anything else, regarding them with suspicion.

Katniss took a step in his direction and said, “My papa was Jack Everdeen.”

The man’s jaw dropped open, and then his face lit up with a broad grin. “Well then, that would make me your grandpa.”

The three of them were welcomed enthusiastically into a small community made up of four homes and fifteen individuals, the youngest nine years of age. Two families bore the Everdeen name, but everyone was related in one way or another.

“I knew Papa had family up here, but we never saw you.”

“That’s not true,” her grandmother replied. “We came to visit once, but you were too young to remember. Your brother was just a newborn.”

“Why didn’t we see you after that?”

“We don’t like to be anywhere near that town. Too many people. We prefer to be left alone, here with our own kin,” her uncle explained.

They were eager to hear about Katniss’s father and listened with rapt attention, but their expressions fell into sorrow as they described the war and the events leading up to Katniss’s parents’ death, along with so many others. The had troubled looks on their faces, but her uncle insisted that it was for this very reason they remained so far removed up here in the mountains. It had worked well for them up until now. Peeta could see that Katniss took strength from that. And for his son’s sake, he tried to as well.

“You have a place with us,” Katniss’s aunt declared, and the next day they all assisted in gathering materials to build them their own home within their enclave.

They were welcomed as family, but Peeta chuckled the first night they spent with Katniss’s relatives. “I stand out around here.”

The kids especially found his fair complexion and blond hair intriguing in a group of olive skin and dark hair.

Katniss snuggled up close. “You are a novelty,” she teased.

By summer they moved into their small cabin. It wasn’t even as spacious as the cement house beside Shelter Lake, but they were grateful nonetheless. Though neither of them said it, Peeta knew they both clung to the idea that this was temporary and that they would one day return to their home on the lake.

 

_Katniss_

Katniss crouched down behind the cover of the bare stems of a blackberry bush as she kept her eye trained on the deer. She was careful to avoid the dry twigs and leaves that littered the ground this time of year.

When she'd announced she was going out hunting, Peeta had knitted his brows, but said nothing. She'd discovered that she was expecting their second child three months ago, which caused Peeta to hover in an almost annoying manner. The recent snow added to her restlessness. But today the weather was sunny and unusually warm for late December.

Peeta knew better than to try to talk her out of it. He had sighed when she explained how she craved the quiet of the forest and intensity of the hunt, and finally relented when she assured him she didn’t plan to go far since she wanted to take Orion with her.

“You’ll look after Mama, won’t you, baby?” she said, and their fifteen-month-old gave her a toothy grin.

Her uncle laughed and said it was good to teach the little ones early. Peeta couldn't say no to that.

Hunting reconnected Katniss with her family, and it was her diversion from the worries she had about the fate of her siblings. It felt good to rebuild the positive associations with hunting and her bow after her parents’ death almost two years ago. It was easier here, living with these people, to forget that a war raged in the rest of the country. Katniss savored it, trying not to think of Logan, and reminded herself that Violet was safe and where she wanted to be.

Even with her son on her back, Katniss still moved with a hunter’s quiet step. Orion, who had been babbling, grew silent. She didn’t need to tell him to hush— he was so attuned to her by now that her sudden tensing was enough for the toddler to grow quiet. Katniss smiled, thinking how much her son resembled her. With slow and deliberate motion, she reached for an arrow. She couldn’t help grin when Orion’s small fist reached over her shoulder from his carrier on her back, and, without a word, placed an arrow in her hand.

It had been a long time since she had taken down such large game and the excitement of the hunt made her heart race. She took careful aim, and fired. The deer dropped to the forest floor.

“Yay, Mama!” the musical voice cheered over her shoulder, chubby hands clapping. Katniss gave a broad grin of satisfaction and, grasping one of those hands, gave it a kiss. Everyone would be thrilled with her deer.

“Let’s go and get some help bringing this one home,” she said with pride to Orion.

 

By the time June rolled around, Katniss was antsy. Now into her final month of pregnancy and growing tired of feeling unproductive, she announced to Peeta that she was going for a walk, maybe to collect some herbs. Peeta offered to go with her, but she reminded him that he had his own responsibilities to attend to, and asked if he could keep an eye on Orion.

“I won’t go far,” she insisted, agreeing to Peeta’s suggestion that she take her bow just in case she ran into any trouble.

It didn’t take long and she had collected a good supply of cooking and medicinal herbs. She'd just spotted a patch of strawberries when a faint rustle of dry leaves alerted her. Katniss scanned the woods from where the faint sound had originated but saw or heard nothing more. Whatever or whoever was approaching was good at being stealthy. _‘But so am I,’_ she said to herself and took cover behind a rock outcropping.

Katniss was surprised when a tentative voice called out from the trees. “Hello? I’m coming out. I’m just trying to find someone…” The owner of the voice stepped forward, hands raised in defence, though there was a bow in one hand.

“Logan!” Katniss cried out and leapt forward. The two siblings rushed to greet each other, joy and relief written over their faces. When she finally released him from her embrace, she noted his companion. Fern was still the tall, beautiful girl, but in her face Katniss saw the weary look of battle had tempered her fearsome arrogance. Katniss pulled back to inspect her brother. He, too, looked drained despite the broad smile.

There were so many questions. “How did you find us? What’s happening with the war?”

Logan held up his hands. “Wow, slow down. First, how you are doing?” He placed a hand on her belly. “You’ve been busy!”

“I found our relatives, Logan!” she exclaimed. “I can’t wait for you to meet them!”

“There’s so much I need to tell you,” her brother said. “But how about I save our story for Peeta and the rest of the group.”

When they reached the small cluster of rough cabins, Logan and Fern were introduced to the Everdeen cousins for the first time. Everyone was curious about their news, but Peeta was especially eager.

It was a grim tale. Katniss observed Fern, who remained silent as her brother spoke. She'd hardly said a word on the walk back, and Katniss wondered what terrible things had made her this way— not that she had ever been much of a talker. Katniss hadn’t felt completely comfortable with Fern or her family after that unpleasant encounter years ago, but what she saw now was a very familiar expression. When the girl met her gaze, Katniss knew her family must be dead.

“We thought we had the upper hand with the Capitol troops mostly contained in Districts 3 and 6. But then we realized what they were up to, why those districts were priorities. They had been developing technologies in Three and building them in Six. One of them was flying ships, small hovercrafts actually, able to carry weapons. Then they took out District 13 and everything changed.

“When the Capitol finally recaptured District 2, they cut off our supply of arms,” Logan explained. “With Thirteen gone, it was only a matter of time and they began to get the upper hand. Districts 1 and 4 surrendered without a fight,” he said with disgust. “We think they made some kind of deal with the Capitol in exchange for leniency.

“They sent out genetically engineered animals, ‘muttations' they’re calling them, from the labs in District 3. Some were worse than others and we lost a lot of people. One was a type of bird, a spy mutt, but we found a way around that,” he said with bitter satisfaction. He paused to let it all sink in.

“After the Capitol secured Two, they started to push us back. Gradually taking one district at a time, working their way east across the north to meet up with their strongholds in Three and Six. We thought that if we could hold on to Nine, Ten and Eleven in the south, we could starve them out, but then we figured out that all of our people out on the front lines were being killed, no matter how well they camouflaged themselves. The Capitol was using some kind of heat-detecting technology to spot us with small surveillance hovercrafts. Then they’d drop fire bombs on us or send in their troops to the hot spots if they thought we had something they wanted.

“We had to break up into small groups, try to fool them into thinking our heat signatures were only from animals. But it made fighting difficult. We were too few and too scattered to pose any real opposition. Any group large enough to do damage was spotted. We couldn’t hide from them, even in the dark.” 

“Like snakes,” Katniss whispered, glancing at Peeta as the memory of the rattlesnake surfaced.

Logan nodded, “Yeah, just like snakes. Cold blooded and merciless. We’ve seen them building walls and electrifying fences around the district centers, and they’ve left anyone and anything inside the fences pretty much alone from what we could tell. But they’re under heavy guard. It’s only a matter of time and all the areas outside the perimeters will be swept by the hovercrafts.” Logan hesitated. “Once the walls are built and the fences turned on, anyone outside will be killed.”

“Why would they do that?” one of the cousins asked.

“After bombing District 13, our leaders speculated that they didn’t want to destroy any more infrastructure. They want people to go back to work producing whatever their district contributes to the country.”

“But then why arbitrarily kill everyone on the outside, if they want people inside the borders?” Peeta asked. 

Fern’s voice surprised everyone when she answered, “It’s all about intimidation and control. They make the rules, and they don’t care if it makes sense. It doesn’t matter if we argue the logic. It’s for them to decide our fate. By edict or whim or whatever those in power choose. We’re just like a herd of animals to them now.”

Logan continued, “Once we realized what was happening, we all scattered, trying to get back to our home districts if we could. Warn people.” 

Everyone was quiet until Peeta spoke up, “How did you find us?”

“We’ve been to Cardinal,” Logan said and Katniss's eyes lit up.

“Have you seen Violet?” she asked.

Logan nodded with a smile. “She’s well, Katniss. Misses you all.” Then his countenance grew grave again. “But the Capitol troops are maybe a day away. We tried to get back in time to warn the Mathesons, but we were too late.” Katniss saw Fern’s clenched hands and her glassy eyes as she stared at the ground. “We saw Capitol troops massing west of Hespera, getting ready for their final attack on District 12. The only hope is to get everyone on the outside into Cardinal, blend in with the population. Otherwise, they’ll be hunted down. It’s only a matter of time. There’s nowhere to hide or run.”

He hung his head and the despair and weariness emanated from his words. “It’s over. Everything we did, all the people who died, it was all for nothing.” He was only seventeen and yet he had the look of a man twice his age, carrying a heavy burden of regret.

“We spent a night at your house at Shelter Lake,” Logan continued. “I’m sorry, there wasn’t any dry wood, so we burned some of your furniture.”

“It doesn’t matter,” Peeta said. “Furniture can be replaced. We’re just glad you’re safe.”

Katniss looked over at Peeta and she could see his mind processing the information, trying to weigh the danger regardless of which side of Cardinal’s fence they were on. She knew he was also worrying about his father’s fate.

”We’re staying,” her grandfather declared.

“Then you’ll die,” Logan answered.

Grandfather looked into the eyes of his small clan, and turned back to her brother. “We've spent all our lives up in these mountains. We know places to hide. We refuse to be caged up.”

Katniss thought she detected a tiny smile of admiration from Fern.

“We have to go,” Peeta said to Katniss after a brief deliberation.

Logan nodded his agreement. “I’d advise we leave first thing in the morning.”

Katniss was conflicted, but before she could express her concern, Peeta announced, “I should go ahead of the rest of you.”

“What?! Why?” she cried.

He ran his hands over his face, took a deep breath, but he avoided looking at Katniss. “With Katniss expecting, anyone travelling with her will need to move slower. I can get to town quickly. If the Capitol has regained control, no one knows Cardinal or the people there better than me. I can check things out, then come back and regroup with you.”

Katniss glared at him. “What about what your father said, telling us to leave. You’re the one he warned was most in danger.” Katniss was frantic.

“It’s one of the reasons I need to go. Father actively betrayed the government when he turned over information to help the rebels. I don’t know for certain what that means for me. Katniss, I need to find out how much danger I’m putting you and the rest in. I’ll just have to take my chances.”

Peeta tried to place his arm around her, but she couldn’t listen anymore. Katniss gathered Orion up in her arms and retreated to their little cabin, leaving the rest of the group as they strategized. Soon after, she could hear Logan and Fern settling in on the floor at the opposite side of the room. But Peeta remained outside for a while longer. When he came to bed, Katniss was lying on her side, her back to him. She could hear him undress and crawl in under the blankets, but as soon as he touched her shoulder she stiffened and pulled away.

“Katniss, this is the best option, you know it.” When she remained unresponsive, he continued, “Look, if there’s a safe way in, I’ll find it. I know the people I can trust.”

“You promised to never leave me,” she accused.

“I’m not, I’m just going to be a little ahead of you, for your sake and Rye’s. So I can protect you both. Remember? It’s what we do.”

Hearing it said in this context, under these circumstances angered her. She turned to face him. “I know, but it’s more than that. It isn’t just about finding a safe way in. You don’t want us anywhere near you because you’re scared you’ll put us in danger. Because of what your father said about Billy.”

He gave her an encouraging smile. “Maybe Billy’s long forgotten about his grudge against me. I never could understand why I mattered to him anyway. His life is in the Capitol now, and his side has won. Maybe he’ll be content if Father…” his voice trailed off.

“Do you think his life is really in danger?” Katniss asked, her voice softer now.

Peeta closed his eyes and nodded. “He’s a traitor in the Capitol’s eyes. And it’s always been personal with Billy for some reason.” He paused. “Katniss, it’s another reason I need to go ahead. If there’s a chance I could see him... do something…”

 _Before they execute him._  She knew it was what he was thinking, though he couldn't say the words. He sounded desperate, and she could tell it was something he needed to do. She ran her fingers through the shaggy blond waves that fell over his forehead.

“I will be careful,” he pledged, but dread seeped into her bones.

“What if when you come back to meet up with us, you can’t find us?”

“I’ll always find you, Katniss. We promised each other, remember?”

She did her best to smile, “I’ll sing so you can find me. Just listen for my voice.”

He took her face between his hands and with authority declared, “I will come back and find you.”

Katniss wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him, but sleep eluded them both most of the night.

Early the next morning, before the sun was fully risen, Peeta left, carrying only a small pack and armed with a bow, quiver and his hunting knife.

“Don’t worry,” he told Katniss, his hand on her belly. “I plan to stay invisible. You know I’m good at that,” he chuckled trying to get her to smile. She clung tightly to him, fighting the sickening feeling crawling up her throat.

He kissed Rye on the head and faced Logan and Fern. “Look after them.”

Logan nodded. “We won’t be far behind you. When you find out what you need to know, just double back and we’ll be there waiting.”

He took Katniss’s face between his hands, and with a resolute voice he said, “I’ll see you soon.” She nodded, mustering as much bravery as she could. With one last brief kiss, he quickly slipped away. Katniss was glad for the haste— she didn’t want him to see her anxiety. She reached for Orion, and, holding him close, she found the courage she needed to face the task that lay ahead.

“All right. We take some food, blankets, travel as light as we can,” Logan said. “The sooner we move, the better.”

When they were ready to depart, she hugged her relatives and told them to stay safe, knowing it was likely they would never see each other again. She believed Logan, but suspected that their fate was as perilous as her cousins who remained behind.

She hated slowing down Logan and Fern, but took courage from Peeta’s promise and slung the carrier for Orion on her back, insisting on carrying him despite their protests. Logan carried the pack with the heaviest of their supplies, and Fern carried a small pack, Logan’s bow and quiver and two canteens with water. Katniss gave her bow and quiver to Fern as well. She handed her son Peeta's teddy bear, and they left an hour behind Peeta.

 

_Peeta_

Peeta allowed himself a few hours of sleep that night less than a mile from Cardinal. At first light, he approached over the rise on the east side of town. With caution, he scanned for signs of activity. His heart sank when he saw peacekeepers supervising as men restored the fences, even at this early hour. But at least the electricity hadn’t been turned on yet.

He scanned farther to the north, looking for an unguarded spot where he could slip in, when he saw smoke rising in the distance. Two pillars of black that could only be from Aurora and Hespera. Then, in the morning light, he saw them— people on foot coming south on the road that connected Cardinal to the mining outposts. And it occurred to him how to get into town.

He found a place to hide his bow and quiver, and, staying low, he flanked the fence line until he reached the north side of Cardinal where the column of refugees was entering by the train station. There were peacekeepers at the opening in the fence, but the crowd was docile so the guards appeared bored and inattentive.

He found a spot where the road came close to the hillside, and, when the coast was clear, he joined the procession. One person, a miner, raised his eyebrows in recognition, but thankfully remained silent. Mostly, the people had their eyes downcast, defeated and anxious. They were directed to a checkin station where they were promised house assignments and food rations, but Peeta broke away to head over to his old home.

When he came alongside the McIntyre mansion, Peeta was not surprised to see the Capitol flag hanging outside the front porch, marking it as their new headquarters. From the corner of the building he had a straight view to the location of the General Store, but, to his dismay, all that remained was a pile of rubble and ashes. Wispy smoke was still rising from the site.

He entered the square to head to the clinic and froze. Adjacent to its location there was a large tent with a sign reading ‘Medical Station’. With growing panic he could make out the charred skeleton of the clinic lying in ruin. And behind it, the medicine factory was also destroyed. Scanning the rest of the square, it appeared that most other buildings were intact. He wondered if the attacks had been targeted.

With dread he quickly walked across the square to the medical tent, when he saw the blond head of his friend, Abby, as she appeared from behind a screen. Her eyes grew wide in recognition and she darted back inside. By the time he made it there, Genny was at her side and reaching to fling her arms around his neck. Justin joined them a moment later.

Without a word, Genny grabbed his hand and led the way to the bakery while she left Justin and Abby to tend the wounded. Peeta was greeted by more astonished hugs from Garnett and Clara before being ushered upstairs to their apartment. The two little Mellark boys were playing with a baby, about one-year-old. And to Peeta’s relief, there sat Arden, too.

Genny walked over and picked the baby up and brought him over to Peeta. “This is my little boy, Ethan,” she said with a sad smile.

Peeta reached out to shake his nephew’s small fist and glanced about the room. “You’re all staying here?”

“Yes. When the Capitol dropped explosives on Arden’s Store, the fire spread so quickly. All the alcohol he had stored inside made it impossible for us to contain it. And then the clinic was hit and all we could do was get the patients out. I barely got out of the apartment with the baby, there was so much smoke and everyone panicking. We…” her eyes grew glassy.

“What?“ Peeta asked and it occurred to him that someone was missing. “Where’s Violet? Is she at the medical station?”

Genny started to cry, clinging to her boy, her face wracked with pain. Arden placed his hand on Peeta’s shoulder, but he swiped it away impatiently.

“Where’s Violet?!” he demanded more forcefully.

Arden shook his head. “We were all so distracted, trying to keep the fires from spreading. We think that was the point, so that there’d be little opposition to the troops when they started pouring into town. Genny had her baby, Justin was making sure the sick and wounded were out of harm’s way. Nobody noticed Violet run back in.”

“Why?!” None of it was making any sense.

Genny’s voice was broken up with sobs. “She went back in for the book.”

Arden hung his head, a scowl on his face. “They found her in a closet with that damn healing book of mine.” He turned away and sat down with his face in his hands.

“It’s all my fault,” Genny said through her tears. “Justin and I always made such a big deal about how important it was and how much we benefited from her knowledge.” She looked pleadingly into his eyes. “We wanted her to know how much we valued and loved her, to let her know how important and special she was. And we killed her.”

“When I saw the store and the clinic burned down, I thought you were all dead,” Peeta whispered.

“Billy called Father, right after they bombed Aurora and Hespera, just before we were attacked, requesting that Justin and I come to Father’s house. He asked to speak to me, and I told him what I thought about his siding with the Capitol. He said that he’d requested that Justin and I be given immunity, and that as far as he was concerned we were done and his obligation to me was over. As soon as I hung up, the store went up in flames.”

“He didn’t know I was living at your house,” Arden added bitterly.

Danny burst into the room. “Abby said you were back!” he exclaimed and embraced his friend. Seeing Peeta’s grief, he added softly, “You’ve heard.”

Peeta brought his hands up and pressed them to his face. “How am I going to tell Katniss?” his voice breaking as he spoke.

Arden rose from the chair and said, “We’re all hurting, but we don’t have a lot of time. Where’s Katniss? Is she with her brother?”

Peeta sucked in a deep breath and fought to regain his composure. Arden was right, there would be time to mourn later. He needed to keep it together, so he forced himself to focus on what needed attention and filled them in. He learned that Danny was put to work with the crew electrifying the fence. It made sense since he had worked at the power generator plant.

“They’re letting anyone in right now,” he said. “But it’s only until we get the power on, this evening.” It was just like Logan had described.

“Katniss, Orion, and the others are less than a day behind me, but they can’t move fast. Katniss is expecting our second baby any week now,” Peeta said to Genny. “They may not make it here by the deadline.” He turned back to Danny. “Can we find a way to get them in?”

Danny smirked, “I can make sure that a particular section of the fence is having some technical problems.”

“Peeta, there’s something else you need to know,” Genny said.

Peeta knew what was coming. “Father?” he asked.

She closed her eyes and nodded. “He was arrested yesterday when they took over. They’re holding him in a cell in the Town Marshal’s building. Sam Jeffries and his deputies were arrested, too. They were all killed.”

Peeta thought of Glenn’s father, and wished he was here, so he could tell his friend how sorry he was.

“But with Father, they're making an example of him— a public hanging,” Genny continued. “Same as with the other district leaders who opposed them. The Capitol plans to record and later broadcast their executions once all the districts are under their control. To teach us all a lesson.”

“When?” was the only word Peeta could get out.

“Tonight, soon after the fences turn on,” Arden replied. “We’re the final district to fall, so they’re doing it at midnight. It’s supposed to be symbolic, I guess. The last act on the last day of the rebellion.”

“Is there any way I can see him?” Peeta asked with a sinking heart.

Arden studied him for moment and rubbed his chin. Then the corner of his mouth turned up. “There might be a way.”

 

_Katniss_

They were only a couple of hours into their journey when Logan insisted that Katniss let Fern carry Orion. “Katniss, it’s too much for you, and we can make better time if you stop being so stubborn.” She knew he was right and relented.

By late afternoon of the second day, when they stopped to rest, she was concerned about their pace. They were still a long ways from Cardinal at the slow rate she was imposing on them all. Her feet hurt and she had a cramp in her side, leaving no doubt that she was already pushing herself as fast as she could go. She grimaced at how her back ached, probably from sleeping on the hard ground.

“Are you okay?” Fern asked, handing her the canteen.

“We’re going too slow,” she snapped back.

“It doesn’t matter, Katniss,” Logan replied. “We’re sticking together. If we have to stop and rest, we will.” He took the canteen from her and went to refill it, along with his own, in the small stream nearby.

She caught Fern staring at her, and, between her physical discomfort and frustration at her physical limitations, Katniss blurted out with more rancor than she intended, “What is it?”

Fern responded solemnly, “I know you don’t exactly like me, and maybe our families have had their differences, but I want you to know that… I understand what it’s like to lose someone you love.”

Katniss regretted her earlier tone. “I’m sorry about your family,” she said as she tucked in Orion’s shirt.

Fern nodded, but then added, “I lost a baby, too.”

That got Katniss’s attention and she looked up.

“Logan wanted to leave the fight as soon as I found out I was pregnant, but I convinced him to stay. I said that if we lost the rebellion there’d be no life for it anyway. He married me even after I miscarried.” Fern’s eyes grew shiny with tears Katniss knew she would not allow to flow. “When we buried our baby, Logan sang to him. It was a lullaby about a meadow.”

Katniss nodded and gave a sad smile. “Yes, I know the one.”

Fern paused, glanced over her shoulder at Logan where he crouched by the water’s edge. Her voice lowered to a whisper, “I think I’m pregnant again, but I haven’t told him. I don’t want him to worry, or be disappointed if something happens.”

Katniss didn’t know what to say, but she did her best to convey support by giving Fern’s hand a gentle squeeze.

“I love him more than anything, Katniss. I’d die for him. And now that you’re my family,” she stroked Orion’s hair and gave him a rare smile, “I’ll defend you both, too. We’ll go as slow as you need.”

Whatever animosity Katniss had felt for this girl over her possible involvement in her parents’ deaths, Katniss couldn’t help but feel fortified by Fern’s support.

“We should get going,” Logan said when he returned, and Katniss rose awkwardly to her feet and was hit by a sharp, familiar pain. Fortunately, the others were busy getting the gear together when it hit. Fern’s assurances still fresh in her mind, she realized what she needed to do next.

“What is it?” Fern asked when it was time to put Orion in the carrier, and Katniss stood fixed in her spot, unmoving.

“I’m not going on with you,” Katniss announced. “I’ll put you all in danger. You need to get Orion to town.”

“You can’t stay here out in the open in your condition,” Logan protested.

He was right. This was not a suitable place, and she considered her slim options. Her eyes gazed toward home and the answer was obvious. “Shelter Lake is less than a couple miles west of here, and it’s all downhill. I’ll go there. It’s safe, hidden. Peeta could be heading back this way anytime. You need to intercept him, and let him know.”

Before Logan could argue, she insisted, “My mind’s made up.” Katniss put on Fern’s pack containing one of the canteens and a blanket.

She picked up Orion and hugged her son close. She kissed the top of his head, breathing in the scent. “I love you,” she whispered, and handed him to Logan to place in the carrier on Fern’s back. Sensing his mother’s distress, he began to whimper and clung to her neck.

The sound nearly broke her resolve but she said firmly, “Rye, let go,” as her son began to cry. “You need to go with Uncle Logan and Auntie Fern, baby. You be a good, brave boy for them.” She forced back the tears, and determinedly pulled his arms from around her neck.

Fern turned to face her as Logan put him in the carrier, and she grabbed Fern’s hands. “Give me your word that you’ll protect him,” Katniss demanded. "With your life."

“I meant what I said,” Fern answered with equal conviction in her gray-green eyes.

Katniss nodded and moving around Fern, she handed Peeta’s teddy bear to Orion. He clutched it to his chest, still sniffling. Knowing if she waited any longer, she might lose courage, she gave him one last kiss, and turned to head west.

But Logan grabbed her arm and handed her one of the bows and a quiver full of the arrows. “Here,” he said.

Katniss shook her head. “No. You’re heading into the dangerous zone and might need it. I have my knife and I’ll be fine at the lake. Just… hurry. Send Peeta as soon as you can.”

She hugged her brother and gave Fern’s arm a reassuring squeeze, and, before the next contraction could hit, she vanished into the trees, praying her labor would leave her enough time to reach her old home.

 

It was growing dark when she stumbled into the front door of the cement house, filled with relief. She scanned the interior. No more bed frame. It had been used by Logan and Fern for firewood along with the small table and bench, but the old pallet mattress was on the floor in the corner. Lying on top of it, she was grateful to see an old blanket she and Peeta had used for lakeside picnics. It wasn’t the cleanest, but it would do. When the baby came, it would be ruined anyway.

Katniss shook out the old blanket, folded it over a couple of times and laid it on top of the pallet. Next she reached into the pack and pulled out the blanket she’d brought with her to use for a cover, leaving it folded at the foot of the pallet for now. She was grateful it was summer and the night would be warm.

As Katniss reached in to remove her hunting knife, she spotted Peeta’s old baby quilt stuffed in the bottom, and she felt a pang of regret that she’d forgotten to give it to Fern for Orion along with his bear. But when she placed a hand on her belly and thought of the baby on the way, and she was glad she had it.

This baby seemed to be coming much faster than Orion, and she hoped that perhaps this labor would be easier. She took inventory of what she would need. The canteen was full, since she had just refilled it at the lake. She slipped off her boots, pausing only for a moment to run her fingers over Peeta’s handiwork, and removed one of the laces to use for tying off the umbilical cord. She laid the knife down beside the pallet. Not a second later, her water broke, and she crawled on top of the pallet as the next wave of pain hit.

Katniss tried to reassure herself that she was ready, as best as she could be under the circumstances.

 _‘But I’m all alone,’_ the voice of doubt declared. No Violet to hold her hand or rebel medics to assist. How she wished her sister and Peeta were here. But then she thought of her baby coming and gritted her teeth. And with determination she declared out loud, “You can do this.”


	21. The Place Where I Love You

**Chapter 20 - The Place Where I Love You**

_Peeta_

“Here, put this on,” Arden instructed, handing Peeta one of Garnett’s clean, collared shirts. He slipped it on over his dark, collarless one and buttoned it up.

Meanwhile, Arden went to a cupboard and pulled out the lone bottle of his whiskey. He looked at it longingly and muttered to himself, but then placed it in one of his deep jacket pockets.

“You got a Bible?” he asked Clara, and she went to a shelf and handed him a small leather bound book.

“What’s your plan?” Peeta asked.

“Just follow my lead,” he answered and led the way out the door.

When they reached the Town Marshal’s office, Peeta felt his gut tighten at the sight of the gallows being constructed between the building and the peacekeeper barracks. Arden took a deep breath and pushed him toward the door. Arden entered the office where they were met by a poker-faced peacekeeper. He looked all business, but Arden walked up to the desk with the confidence that only a man of his age and temperament could pull off.

“We’re here to see William McIntyre,” he stated.

“No unauthorized visitors. Orders,” the man replied. He looked bored.

Arden tipped his head in Peeta’s direction. “He’s not a visitor. Clergy, here to provide spiritual counsel.”

Though Peeta had to admire the plan, he was skeptical that it would work, so he was surprised when the guard didn’t immediately turn them away. Apparently, he wasn’t familiar enough with Cardinal’s church to know whether it was lie or not. Peeta held up the book in his hand to corroborate the ruse. But the man was still unmoved.

Arden pulled out the bottle from his pocket.

“That some kind of local poison?” the guard responded with a look of contempt, not easily swayed.

“Hardly! I’ll put my whiskey up against anything in the country. Better than you’ve ever had I’ll wager. But why don’t you be the judge?” He held it out to the man in uniform.

The guard hesitated again, and when he spoke this time his voice held less conviction. “I don’t drink on duty, or accept bribes.”

“Of course, you don’t!” Arden placed the bottle on the desk in front of the man. “Consider this a token of our appreciation for being decent enough to take pity on a condemned man." His voice softened. "What’s it going to hurt? He’s not going anywhere. You let this young man in to do his job, and I’ll wait out here and keep you company.”

The guard’s eyes roamed from Arden’s grin, to the bottle, to Peeta’s solemn countenance, and back to the bottle. He placed the bottle in a drawer and collected the keys hanging from a hook on the wall. Peeta was led through a door that separated the cells from the front reception room, and the peacekeeper unlocked the door to the only cell that held an occupant.

“Preacher to hear your final thoughts,” the guard announced, and waved him inside.

Peeta entered the cell and the barred door was locked behind him. The guard then returned to join Arden out front. As the door closed to the reception room, he could hear the old man ask, “So where you from anyway?”

Peeta turned his attention back to the interior of the cell. As his eyes adjusted to the dim light, he saw the silhouette of his father standing in front of the tiny barred window, his back to him.

“I didn’t ask for a preacher,” Father said flatly.

“Well, maybe you’ll accept the company of your son instead.”

His father whipped around, shock written across his face and then sadness. “What are you doing here?” Then his shoulders drooped. “Oh yes, they’re forcing everyone inside Cardinal. I guess I’d hoped you wouldn’t be found.”

“I wasn’t,” Peeta replied. “I volunteered to come ahead to be sure it was actually safe to return.”

“Katniss isn’t with you?”

“She’s with her brother. They’re waiting for me outside of town. I needed to know if I would put them in danger.”

Father motioned to the narrow cot and they both sat, side by side.

“I spoke with Billy just before the takeover,” his father said. “As far as he’s concerned, you died during the rebellion. I don’t know if he believed me, but at least he seems to have divorced himself from the family. From everything here in District 12 as a matter of fact.”

“That’s good,” Peeta said, touching his arm in an act of gratitude. His father didn’t respond. “Katniss is expecting again, any week now.”

At that his father gave him a smile. “That’s happy news,” he said softly. “You’re a good father. Better parent than I ever was. So much like your mother…”

“And like you,” Peeta insisted. “The art, how you’d do anything to protect people you care about…”

“Pfft,” Father hissed dismissively.

“You helped make this town a success, a haven…You did a lot of good here.”

“Whatever good you think I did, I did it for my own selfish reasons. And what does it matter anyway? Cardinal has fallen under the oppression of a country I assisted in building. People loyal to me have died or been hurt. People who trusted me. Promises I didn’t keep.”

Peeta shook his head. “You did the best you could. Whatever you believe, the people in this town respect you. Especially in these last years by trying to make things better for everyone with the school, the freedom to open their own businesses, and the medicine factory. That’s your real legacy.”

They both sat quietly. After a protracted silence his father spoke, and his voice was no longer laced with bitterness. “I’m okay, Peeta, with what’s coming. I was always living on borrowed time anyway. Should have died in the forest when I was sixteen. I’ve had thirty-eight years that I probably wasn’t entitled to, thanks to Arden.”

Peeta gave that some thought and answered, “Maybe that’s true, but what would his life have been without you? Alone out in the forest, drunk, maybe dead by now. You offered him friendship and gave him a purpose. And then, without Arden, what would have become of my mother? And there’s us, your children. Even Billy wouldn’t have what he has if it wasn’t for you.”

He shook his head. “If I’d been a better parent maybe things would have turned out differently with Billy. And with Russ, too.”

“But then how do you explain Genny and me?” A thought occurred to Peeta. “A long time ago, I asked Mother if you loved us and she told me you were a good man. At the time I didn’t fully understand why she said that. I was hurt because I thought it meant you didn’t care, but I think I understand now.” He looked at Peeta, intrigued, as he continued, “She wanted me to see the good, not the deficiencies.”

His father gazed up at the small window. “I never understood what she ever saw in me. Lord knows she could have done better.” He turned his face back to Peeta. “I asked her to marry me, after my wife died.” Peeta looked at him, perplexed.

“Why didn’t you?” he asked.

“I wanted to give you both legitimacy, but Marigold said it would only cause discord with my other children over the Alexander estate. She said she knew what was real, that we’d made our promises to each other, and it was enough.” He stopped for a moment as if struggling with his next words, when an admission poured out. “I never told her I loved her.”

Peeta remembered Genny and her reflections on learning about love from watching them, and answered with confidence, “She knew.”

His father searched his eyes for signs of false sincerity, but then gave a nod of gratitude. “I never deserved her love. I have, however, earned my punishment. They may be hanging me for treason, but I’ve got it coming for other things I’ve done, before I came to Cardinal. Desperate, horrible things to survive.”

Peeta furrowed his brow at his father’s expression of regret, over all his untold past. “You were just a boy. And regardless, that’s what forgiveness is for.”

His father looked at him with cynical amusement. “You sound just like your mother, and those songs she’d sing sometimes. Like she was singing the words to me. About mercy and other things I was never worthy of receiving.”

“If we deserved mercy, it wouldn’t be mercy,” Peeta answered. “I don’t think it’s something you earn or bargain for, like making a deal. You don’t negotiate for it. Forgiveness is simply a gift for you to accept.”

His father regarded him, contemplating his words, “You think I want forgiveness?”

“I think you want peace.”

Sorrow was etched across Father’s face, but he gave a small nod of acknowledgment. “I can still hear her voice. Lately it seems more discernible, as if she’s nearby. All those songs— the melodies and lyrics— as clear to me as the day I first heard them.” He grew quiet, and Peeta wondered, as they sat, if his father was listening to some secret music that remained inaudible to anyone else.

“It’s not death I fear," Father whispered, "it’s not hearing her voice anymore. That I will be cut off from it, even if it is just an echo of a memory.”

The deep sense of loneliness embedded in the statement impelled Peeta to reply, “Maybe that’s why you hear her more now. Because she really is close, waiting for you.”

His father scrutinized his face, searching for a truth to grasp, and Peeta realized that he had spoken from his heart. He hadn’t thought about it until now, but it became clear to him as the words came out. “You’ll see her again. I believe it.”

The guard opened the door to the reception area and announced, “Time’s up, preacher.”

His father grabbed Peeta's shoulders, leaned close and spoke under his breath, “Don’t stay to watch. I don’t want that to be the last memory you have of me.” He stopped, but had one last directive. “Go find your family. Protect them however you can.”

Peeta gave a quick nod and rose with reluctance, preparing to move to the cell door that the guard held open for him. But he turned to face his father one last time. He saw a man, alone, needing one last argument to be made in his defense to prove he was not irreparably lost to the demons of his past. To remind him that he was worthy of the peace he craved.

He closed the small distance between them and pulled his father into a tight embrace. He felt a moment of hesitation, and then his father hugged him back, tightly. He kissed his father’s cheek and whispered in his ear, “I love you, Father.”

When Peeta pulled away, his father remained silent, as if he had been robbed of his voice, struggling to speak. But as he exited the cell, he heard a cry, “Wait!” Peeta returned to the cell door, and his father whispered, “I love you, too, son.”

The scant light that found its way through the bars of the window. It illuminated swirling dust motes and cast deep shadows across his father’s face in a curious way that captured Peeta’s artist eye. But what he noticed most of all, that he would take with him in his heart, was the expression he saw on his face. His father looked peaceful.

Arden was waiting at the door. Avoiding eye contact, Peeta walked past him out into the afternoon light, fighting back the emotion he didn’t want the guard to see. As soon as they were clear, tears spilled over his cheeks. He wiped them away, not wishing to attract attention.

Arden put his arm around his shoulders. “Come on,” he said and led him back toward the bakery.

“Will you be there for him, Arden?” he pleaded. “When they…”

“You know I will,” he said solemnly. “Right to the end.”

Clara insisted on sharing a quick lunch before Peeta left to meet up with Katniss, and he couldn’t help notice how meagre it was. Clara must have seen the look in his eyes, because she explained that they needed to ration now that the fields and orchards outside the fences were out of reach. Peeta couldn’t help think of the absurdity that outside this imposed prison, the forest was teeming with game and other food, but now it also held death. He was sickened by the hopelessness of the two options, but he knew that getting his family to Cardinal was the only choice.

While he gulped down the meal, Peeta listened as Danny gave his instructions. “The power will go to the fences just before sundown.” Nobody said it, but soon after that would follow his father’s hanging. “I will see to it that the section by the cemetery is out of commission, but I won’t be able to delay more than a couple of hours. Even if you aren’t back by then, come to that spot. It’s where the forest is closest to the fence line and the meadow beside the cemetery provides the best cover from town. One of us will keep checking back to see if you’re there.” He gripped his friend’s shoulders. “We’ll find a way to get you all in somehow.”

Just as Peeta was preparing to leave, Glenn arrived on his lunch break from the mines. Peeta was unnerved by how quickly news of his arrival had spread but admitted that it was inevitable. He gave his friend a hug and told him how sorry he was about his father's death. Glenn looked back with empathy.

“The people of this town, especially the miners whom you stood up for, will keep your identity from the authorities, just as your father planned." The corner of Glenn's mouth quirked up. "We’ll have to come up with a new name for you,” he joked.

A few good natured options were tossed around between the group. Peeta was grateful for the effort they made to bolster his spirits as he prepared for the perilous journey back to rendezvous with Katniss. They refused to say goodbye this time, and there wasn’t any time for sentiment. Instead, they said, “I’ll see you soon,” and with no further fanfare, Peeta put on his jacket and his small backpack, and, soon after, he slipped back outside the fence. He found the spot where he'd hidden his bow and quiver, slung them over his shoulder, and headed into the forest.

Several hours later the sun was beginning to draw close to the treetops in the west. Peeta was growing anxious because he still hadn’t encountered Katniss, Logan and Fern. He stopped atop a small rise, when he heard the sound of gunfire. Two things became excruciatingly clear— the grace period was over, and he, Katniss and any others still outside Cardinal were now in jeopardy.

He scrambled around the rocks until he got an unobstructed view. To the south he could make out a small patrol of peacekeepers with their backs to him. Beyond them he could make out Logan firing back with his bow. It wasn’t as effective as the guns, but he managed to slow the soldiers’ advance. It would not last long as his arsenal of arrows was quickly being depleted.

He scanned for Katniss, but saw only Fern, and he grew alarmed to see that she carried Rye. What happened to Katniss? He desperately searched the trees for any sign of her.

While Logan provided cover, Fern made a dash for the river behind them. She forded it with haste, and Peeta noted that her retreat was taking her northwest into what he realized would be more familiar territory for her. He was encouraged by this fact.

With the immediate concern for his son’s safety his only thought, Peeta drew an arrow and fired it at the backs of the peacekeepers, surprising them. Logan, now arrow-less, splashed into the river, following in Fern’s footsteps. The troop split into two, one half firing on Logan, the other trying to locate the threat behind them.

 _‘It’s the best I can do,’_ Peeta told himself, hoping it was enough to ensure his son’s safe escape.

He turned, planning to lure his pursuers away, but at the last second he happened to see Logan collapse into the water just short of the bank. He stuffed down his dismay and fired more arrows, trying to give Fern as much help as possible. Until he reached back for another arrow and discovered he was out.

Half the troop had broken away in his direction. He got to his feet and began to run, when his left leg collapsed, and he fell to the ground. An intense pain registered a fraction of a second later from the bullet that pierced his thigh. It was bleeding profusely, so he quickly removed the pack, ripped off his jacket, and, using the arms, tied it around his thigh over the wound. He needed to stanch the flow to avoid leaving a blood trail. Adrenaline got him back on his feet, though his leg was protesting. He knew he needed to hide, he wasn’t in any condition to outrun his pursuers.

Desperately searching, he spotted a small cleft in the rocks, low to the ground. He took out his hunting knife, hastily selected a leafy branch, and cut it free, all the while trying to apply pressure to the jacket over the wound.

He staggered over to the opening and tossed the pack, bow and quiver inside. He awkwardly crawled in after them, drawing his knees up to his chest, wincing at the pain in his leg, and propped the branch in front.

It wasn’t a very good effort and would be easily spotted by a skilled hunter like Katniss. But he prayed it would be enough to fool the peacekeepers.

Seconds later they arrived but carried on past his hiding spot. Within a few minutes they returned, retracing their way back toward Cardinal. He heard one of them comment about how it was getting too dark, and that they would return in the morning. There was the sound of a static-laced voice from a peacekeeper’s communicator.

He addressed his companions, “The one by the river is dead. They’re still trying to locate the other one who was with him.”

Peeta prayed he’d given Fern and Rye enough time. There was something about that girl that made him believe she would make it. He tried not to dwell on Logan’s fate.

Once he was confident it was safe, he emerged from the rocks. He was now able to concentrate on Katniss and why she wasn't with them. He refused to believe she was dead. The deadline had occurred just moments ago, as he watched the last of the sun’s rays disappear. Which meant they had been forced to separate.

He examined his leg, but as soon as he untied the jacket the blood flowed freely. Using Garnett’s shirt as a bandage, he cut off the strap from the quiver and tied a tourniquet just above the wound. He found a sturdy twig to twist tight enough to slow the bleeding. He then stuffed the bloody jacket and empty quiver in the hole in the rocks along with the now useless bow. He recovered the opening with the branch just in case the soldiers returned this way.

He tested the injured leg and his fears were confirmed that walking was going to be difficult. He located a suitable limb and using his knife, fashioned a rough crutch. He reached inside his pack and drew out the blanket, rolled it up and placed it in the cradle of the crutch for padding under his armpit. It would have to do, he told himself, though he wondered how long he could stay mobile, whichever direction he went.

But which way to go?

Logic said to head back toward the way they had come out of the mountains, but something made him pause. Katniss wouldn’t remain out in the open. As he tried to fathom her strategy, he couldn’t help but be distracted by the beauty of the sun setting in the west. If she needed to part with Logan, she would look for someplace safe. Familiar even.

The decision lay clear before him. South east, the way they had come, or west to Shelter Lake. He got to his feet, grasped hold of the crutch, and headed west.

Peeta limped through the night scared to stop in case his leg finally gave out. It was numb and refused to hold weight, so a walk that should have taken no more than an hour stretched out to five. Thankful for the moonlight, he came to a small creek and quenched his thirst. He splashed the cool water over his face and hair and checked his leg, disappointed that there was no change.

After refilling his canteen he moved to rise to continue on his way, but collapsed back to the ground. His left leg was uncooperative and exhaustion was taking its toll. He listened for gunfire, but was relieved to only hear the sound of crickets and an owl hooting.

It was only then that he realized it was well past midnight. He’d been so focused on his own mission that he’d missed it. His father was dead. He wondered if in those last moments his mother had really been there, waiting. He hoped so. He sat leaning back against a large tree trunk. He needed to rest for just a moment to gather strength for the next leg of the trek, and he gave himself permission to use the time to mourn the people he’d lost.

He was panicked when he awoke several hours later and the first steaks of dawn were lighting up the eastern sky. He cursed himself for falling asleep and reached for his crutch to drag himself to his feet. Peeta didn’t want to check his leg. He knew it wasn’t in good shape and wondered how much longer he would be able to keep moving. But all that mattered was getting to Katniss, so he put on his pack and secured the crutch under his arm.

Peeta tried to get his bearings to determine if he needed to adjust his course to the north or south, since the valley that housed Shelter Lake could be easy to miss. He was sure he must be close, but the scenery looked unfamiliar from this approach, so he climbed up a small rock outcropping to see if he could get a better viewpoint. He grunted in frustration that the trees were so dense, when a peculiar sound made him look over to the trees on his right.

He squinted his eyes to make out the creature who had produced it and spotted a bird he’d never seen before. It was mostly black, but with just a bit of white on its wings. Yes, it was definitely the source of the strange sound. It was unlike any bird call he’d ever heard before.

He was about to go back to scanning the forest when he realized what it was that had caught his attention. It wasn’t just the bird’s unfamiliar appearance or its unique voice, it was the melody. Just five notes, but it was unmistakable. It was the opening of his mother’s lullaby. Astounded, he wondered how that was possible.

He knew of mockingbirds that mimicked other bird calls, but he’d never encountered one that sang human songs. Then he remembered Logan’s tale of strange creatures created in Capitol labs. But, stranger yet, how had this one learned this song? Then it came to him and his heart started to pound in his chest.

_‘I’ll sing so you can find me.’_

Katniss! It must have been listening to her. He laughed and mouthed a ‘thank you’ to the odd creature. With renewed energy, he scrambled down off the rocks in the direction of the bird, now confident which way to go.

 

_Katniss_

She was disoriented, the fog of heavy sleep shrouding her, but the strange bird’s song drew Katniss on, in search of… what? The bird was singing a lullaby, the same one she'd been singing herself not long ago. The fog continued to press in on her, when she realized the sound wasn’t a bird, but her baby’s cry. Frantically, she searched through the dense brush, but her legs felt like lead and the branches seemed to be alive, clawing at her, restraining her progress.

When she managed to break free, she was in a meadow of yellow dandelions and blue forget-me-nots. And in the middle of it lay a crying baby girl with golden curls and brilliant blue eyes.

"You’re mine," she told the little one, drawing her close to her breast, and the child’s crying was stilled.

Katniss awoke in a panic, her heart pounding from the dream. She pulled back the baby quilt and ran her hands over the infant, ensuring that she was okay. When she was satisfied, her head fell back on the pallet. Her tongue felt like sandpaper, and she was so thirsty.

She looked regretfully at the canteen, remembering that she had emptied it last night when she'd taken off her shirt and soaked it with the water to clean her newborn. The shirt lay tossed to the side along with the soiled old blanket she'd also discarded after the delivery. She reached for the canteen anyway, hoping for even a few drops, but it was cruelly dry.

The thin camisole she still wore offered little warmth, and she shivered from an inexplicable chill. She knew by the sunshine pouring in the windows that it must be a warm summer day. She pulled her clean blanket up around the two of them as her baby nursed.

Her eyes closed and she wondered why she felt so dizzy. She should get up and refill the canteen, but couldn’t muster even the strength to cross to the door, let alone make it down to the lake. Certainly, she remembered feeling tired after Orion’s birth, but this delivery had taken place much quicker. Katniss decided that her exhaustion could be easily attributed to the long hike leading up to her baby’s birth, but the light-headedness was unfamiliar.

She searched her memory, struggling to remember things her mother had told her about the births she had assisted with, and a nagging fear crept into the back of her semiconscious mind. As the weighty drowsiness pulled her eyelids shut and she drifted back into the land of dreams, her protective arms clutched her child to her breast. The strange bird started to sing again.

Katniss awoke some time later alerted by the sound of uneven footsteps approaching the house. She struggled up onto her elbows and backed herself into the corner. She moved the baby so she lay hidden behind her next to the wall. She reached for her hunting knife, clutching it tightly in what she knew was a pitifully weak defence.

The door flew open and Katniss was blinded by the bright light leaving the figure in the doorway in silhouette. When she saw around the periphery of the figure’s head a corona of gold waves, relief flooded every part of her body.

“Peeta,” she cried out, and the knife clattered to the floor as he collapsed at her side, drawing her into a tight embrace. “You found me.”

Her hands grasped his neck, pulling him close, as she eagerly received his kisses. Peeta was breathing heavily, but he was smiling, and she slumped into his arms, exhausted from the small effort of sitting up.

“It was a bird that guided me here. Singing my mother’s lullaby,” he laughed.

She gazed at him quizzically. “I heard it too. I thought I was dreaming.” She could see his eyes searching her, questioning. “We have a little girl, Peeta,” she said drawing back the blanket to reveal a tiny bundle wrapped in his old baby quilt. When she looked back at Peeta, his eyes were shiny with tears, and she couldn’t help grin with pride.

Peeta ran his hand over the infant's fine, downy hair, the color of palest gold, and swallowed. “She’s beautiful.”

“She looks like you,” Katniss said with affection as she placed her hand on his face. “She’s going to have your eyes.”

“How do you know?” he asked, his gaze never leaving the infant as she stretched and gave a yawn.

“I just know,” Katniss whispered, the dream still fresh in her memory.

Peeta shifted to stretch out beside her on the pallet with their daughter between them, and it was then that Katniss noticed Peeta’s leg. He winced moving to lay down.

“Peeta! You’re injured!” she exclaimed and struggled to sit up to get a better look at his leg.

“It can wait,” he answered. “I just need to catch my breath first and remind myself that you’re really safe.”

“You need to let me look at that,” she replied and reached down to inspect his wound, but her lightheadedness at the sudden effort made her swoon, and she fell back onto the pallet, unconscious.

 

_Peeta_

“Katniss,” Peeta said soothingly. “Wake up.”

He swept the hair from her brow. Her face looked disturbingly pale. As he ran his hand over her forehead he noticed how damp her skin was. And feverish. And yet she shivered as if she were cold. He’d sacrificed his shirt to make a diaper for the baby, but even bare skinned he was comfortable, so he knew the air was warm. He was relieved when her eyes fluttered open.

“Thirsty,” she said weakly and he brought his canteen to her lips, helping her to sit up a little to drink.

“Katniss, is this normal?”

“I think I’m losing blood,” she said and Peeta, alarmed, pulled back the blanket to check the pallet, but found no amount to account for her symptoms.

“It may be inside,” she said and grimaced when she felt around her abdomen.

“What do I do?” he implored, but the look of fear on her face crushed him.

“We need to get you to Justin. He’ll know what to do,” Peeta said, but as soon as the words left his mouth he was filled with despair. It was impossible. Not only were they weaponless except for a couple of hunting knives, neither of them would survive the long walk to Cardinal in their condition. He turned his face away not wanting Katniss to see the hopelessness he knew was written there.

He felt her hand reach up, pulling his face back to meet her eyes. “Let’s just rest awhile, okay?” she soothed, and he nodded.

He slipped his arm under her head to use as a pillow and settled down beside her, the baby nestled in between them, his other arm resting protectively over them both.

“Did Logan and Fern get Orion to Cardinal safely?”

Peeta’s heart clenched. He knew his eyes would betray him, so he rested his cheek on her head, his free arm reaching to adjust the baby quilt under their daughter’s chin. “They’re fine. Rye is with Fern.”

Katniss nodded. “Fern promised me she’d protect him,” she said. “Tell me about Cardinal. Did you see Violet?“

How could he tell her the truth? He searched for the right thing to say, and in the end he decided that all he wanted was to give Katniss some hope to hold on to, no matter how dire their situation. Something to give her comfort. He wanted so much to protect her heart, now that he couldn’t protect her body, so he bit his lip to maintain his composure, and answered, “They’re all safe, Katniss.”

Katniss lifted her head, scrutinizing him, and he considered if he should leave this lie between them, but she gave him a sad smile.

“That’s good,” she said picking up their baby and placing the bundle on her chest. Peeta slid over to close the distance, and she nestled her head back on his shoulder.

But when she asked about his father, he shook his head and let the tears come. The tears were for all of them, and he hoped she wouldn’t know the difference.

“He’s safe now, too,” she said gently, and he wondered if she knew the truth but wanted to protect him, too, by playing along.

 _‘It’s what we do,’_ he thought to himself. We always do our best to protect each other, even if it’s only with words.

While Katniss slept, Peeta sat with his back propped up against the wall to keep watch. He noticed how she was trembling. He had added his own blanket to their covering, and he pulled her and the baby closer to share his warmth. He examined his injured leg as they slept. The shirt he’d used as a bandage was soaked in blood, despite the tourniquet, but he wondered if perhaps it would stop now that he could rest. He felt so tired, too. He’d had so few hours sleep over the past two nights, but his thoughts troubled him.

 _‘How can I protect them, when I can’t even protect myself?’_ His mind struggled to come up with a plan. And eventually his eyes drifted closed, too, against his will, as worries haunted him.

The sound of voices approaching roused Peeta from his semi-wakeful state. He could tell by the authoritative tone that the peacekeepers had found them. He moved forward on the pallet trying to better place himself in front of Katniss and their daughter and instinctively reached for one of the two hunting knives, but the hopelessness of their situation struck him again.

 _‘I’m defenseless,’_ he admitted to himself. Then he remembered intervening in the altercations with the miners those two times. _‘No, not totally defenseless. I’ve always gotten by on my wits.’_ But he wondered how he should handle this situation.  _‘If I can just open up some kind of dialogue, maybe…’_

He laid the knife aside, clenched his eyes shut and took a deep breath. And he prayed they didn’t open the door firing.

A peacekeeper burst through the door, gun raised. He could hear a couple others moving beyond the house.

Peeta held up his hands, ”Please, we’re unarmed, and there’s a child here.”

Something about their wretched condition must have given the soldier pause. Peeta realized that if the thought of killing such pitiful people in cold blood was perhaps abhorrent to the man, maybe he could appeal to this soldier’s humanity.

“What district are you from?” he asked, trying to engage him.

“Two,” the man answers warily. Peeta could tell by his uniform that he was a lieutenant, so likely he was the leader of this troop. That was good. If he could just get through to him, they might have a chance.

“You’re a mining district, too. We had a Peacekeeper from Two stationed here before, a lieutenant just like you. He was a friend of mine.” He thought it best to not give Avery’s name since it might be known he was a traitor.

A few seconds ticked by as each considered their next move when a plan came to Peeta’s mind. 

“Do you have any children?” Peeta asked, trying to find common ground. The man’s expression flinched ever so slightly and he gave a tight nod.

Encouraged, Peeta continued, “Look, we’re no threat to you. My wife, myself… we aren’t going anywhere.” He pulled down the blanket to reveal his leg. Katniss was so ashen, visibly shaking, and still unconscious. “But our daughter…” he could feel the emotion swimming up the back of his throat threatening to choke him, but he swallowed it down, knowing this was his only shot. “There’s a woman in Cardinal, Eugenia Donner, wife of Dr. Justin Donner, our _Capitol_ doctor…” he said with special emphasis and hoped his brother-in-law’s credentials had the desired effect. “Please, take her to them.”

The peacekeeper seemed to hesitate, but he remained fixed to his spot in front of the fireplace.

Peeta grew desperate, struggling to think of some other incentive, something of value to offer. Maybe the man could be persuaded. He thought of the anthracite pendants, but dismissed the idea.  _‘They’re only of value to us. No, I don’t have anything to bargain with,’_ he realized, and he could feel the scant hope he’d created slipping away.

His voice breaking, he pleaded, “She’s just a baby, an innocent…”

Still the man just stared at him, and out of Peeta’s desperation grew anger. “If we can’t find some compassion for even a child, what hope is there for any of us?” he accused the man in front of him.

The soldier stirred from his spot and came forward, bringing his rifle up.

 _‘I’ve failed,’_ Peeta thought with despair, and backed up to shield Katniss and the baby as best he could. And waited for the crack of the gun.

But instead of firing, the man slung his rifle over his shoulder and reached out. When Peeta froze, uncertain, the soldier demanded impatiently, “Hand her over, quick. I can’t stay any longer.”

Peeta wrapped the quilt tightly around his daughter. Blue forget-me-nots on a yellow field. He hoped that Genny would remember. He kissed his tiny daughter’s downy head, his heart simultaneously filled with joy and sorrow. If only they’d had more time. He handed her over. The man unzipped his jacket, stuffed her in, and zipped it back up.

“Thank you,” Peeta whispered, and the man just nodded. Without another word, he turned for the door. Peeta slid back beside Katniss, preparing for the order to be given and the inevitable gunfire, but, to his amazement, the peacekeeper quietly closed the door behind him and announced, “Nothing in here, they’re dead. Let’s move on.” And then it was quiet again.

 

Peeta wasn’t sure how much time had gone by when he heard explosions and wondered what it could be. Some last pocket of resistance? He could feel the rapid beating of Katniss’s heart as she lay across his chest. He knew it was a bad sign for it to be racing so fast when she was resting like this. Still, he was comforted at the feel of her heartbeat.

“What is that?” she asked weakly.

“Shh. It’s okay. It’s just thunder,” Peeta said softly.

She was trembling uncontrollably now, so he tucked the two blankets around them, and held her close. She clung to him seeking his warmth.

“We never gave her a name,” Katniss whispered after a spell.

Peeta reminded her about how she was the one who gave him his name and said, “It’ll be okay, she will be given a good name because she is loved, too.”

That seemed to placate Katniss, but her next words were plaintive. “I’m so tired, Peeta.”

Her voice was raspy, so he offered her another sip from the canteen, but she refused. Peeta could feel his heart breaking.

“I’m so sorry, Katniss,” he whispered. “If it wasn’t for me, you’d be safe in town.”

He could feel her shift beside him, feel her breath against his neck. Her hand reached up to touch the small anthracite pendant around his neck.

“I love you,” she said softly as her reply, and he hugged her close.

“I love you, too,” he whispered back.

They lay quietly for a few moments, and then Katniss spoke again. “I love this place,” she said. “I’m so glad we came back.”

Peeta nodded. It was fitting somehow that they ended up here. And comforting. “I can’t think of a better place to stay awhile.” The sound of more explosions echoed in the distance. 

“Try to get some sleep, Katniss. Just rest now. Tomorrow, after this storm passes, it’ll be a beautiful day. Remember when we were eight, how nice the air smelled after that thunder storm we got caught in? And that time we came back here to fix up our house? Everything so fresh and new. In the morning, everything will be better.”

His throat constricted and he clenched his eyes shut struggling to stop the tears that were forming. He felt a hand touch his face, and he opened his eyes to see her looking up at him, the hint of a smile curling up the corner of her beautiful mouth. 

“You’re such a good liar,” she said, and he was filled with guilt, but she pulled him down for a kiss. “It’s okay, Peeta,” she said soothingly and cupped his cheek. “Please don’t stop.”

She closed her eyes, snuggling back against him and gave his hand a weak squeeze. Their two pendants lay side-by-side on his chest.

A thousand moments surged through him, memories yet to be made, a lifetime to be lived.

Peeta took a deep breath, and began.

“The strawberries and blackberries are going to be ready soon. You and I and the children will go collect them. Next, the katniss will be ready, too. We’ll take the children out into the forest, and we’ll pick wood sorrel and mint and mushrooms. You’ll teach them to use the bow, and I’ll show them how to be invisible. I’ll bake cookies and cheese buns…”

He felt her smile against his bare skin.

“In the fall, we’ll gather acorns and hickory nuts, and I’ll build a smoke house, just like your father’s, and you’ll teach the children how to tan hides like your mother…”

That seemed to comfort her, and all he could feel was her lips brush his skin. Her breathing was shallow and rapid now.

“When winter comes we’ll build snowmen and have snowball fights with the children. And we’ll always watch over them and protect them from the cold with feather beds and pillows you make…”

He thought he could feel her arms hug him a little.

“You’ll sing them to sleep, just like my mother used to do for me, and those funny birds will join in because they can’t resist your beautiful voice. The children and I will love every note, just like my father…”

She was very still now, but he could still feel her panting breath against his skin.

“When the snow melts, we’ll go outside and look for the first pussy willows. We’ll see that it’s spring again because there will be dandelions. We’ll gather their greens and show the children how to make wishes. And we’ll watch as the world comes alive after the winter storms. The war will be over and everyone will be safe. And we’ll show them how even after the dark winter, everything is good again.”

Her shallow breath, whisper soft against his neck, had grown so faint. And then, he couldn’t feel it anymore. He brought his lips close to hers and held his breath waiting to feel hers, but there was none. The breath he released came out choked, but he didn’t cry. Instead he smiled for her.

“It’s okay, Katniss. Just sleep now, and dream of sweet things.”

As he gazed on her face, he was taken back to a memory, fourteen years ago, of a little girl with two braids and a look of inquisitive wonder in her captivating, anthracite gray eyes. And then another image came to mind of an older girl, blossoming in beauty with loose hair fanned out by water, impulsively leaning in to give him a kiss. She then transformed into a beautiful woman lost in the throws of passion as they made love for the first time in this very spot.

And just then, the sun dropped so that the brilliant rays beamed in through the window facing the lake, washing Katniss’s face and hair with its deep, golden light. At first Peeta was confused because it looked like a sunset and he couldn’t remember so much time going by.

But he was transfixed by the sight of Katniss, bathed in his favorite colours. He brushed the hair back from her forehead and kissed her. Then he laid himself down on his side facing her, his eyes fixed on this one last image of beauty to take with him.

His beloved Katniss, looking as if she was aglow with the very fires of the sun. All the love that he held in his heart seemed to spill out and over him, warm and serene. Then he closed his eyes, pulled her close so that his lips were next to her ear.

“I’ll see you in the morning,” he whispered, tucking the blanket neatly around them. Her hand was wrapped around her pendant, and he reached for his own, running his fingers over the smooth surface that matched hers.

And then, placing a soft kiss on her temple, he reached down to his leg and released the tourniquet.


	22. Loose Ends

**Chapter 21 - Loose Ends**

_Genny_

Genny scanned the forest beyond the fence line in the early morning light. It was peaceful here in the cemetery, but she was troubled. Danny had delayed as long as he could with this section of fence, but time had run out and the power had come back on.

He and Glenn had taken shifts out here in the dark, hiding, watching, and now it was her turn. If anyone saw her now that the sun was up, she had the plausible excuse of visiting the graves of her family, including her father’s. It had been prepared hours before he hanged, and he had been quickly and unceremoniously deposited here late last night. She placed her hand on the mound of recently disturbed dirt— too new to be covered with meadow grass like the others— and felt a depression weigh heavily on her shoulders.

Peeta, Katniss, and the others should have been back by now. For them to wait until after sunrise was risky. She had overheard a peacekeeper report on the kills the previous night as they reported in, but until this morning she had clung to the hope that it was not them. The longer they were missing the more dire it became. In the light of day it was getting more difficult to ignore.

Genny pinched off the spent flower heads from Marigold’s grave. Hers was the only one graced with flowers, the last orange and yellow blooms that her father would ever plant here. She glanced over at the mound beside Marigold's— Genny had insisted her father be placed there— and promised him that she would continue to plant the marigolds in his stead.

There was no marker by his grave, on orders of the new commander. A final statement by the Capitol to remove all indications of William McIntyre’s authority, and even his very existence, in Cardinal. A burial fit for a traitor.

“I won’t forget,” she promised him. She glanced at the graves around her. “I won’t forget any of you.”

Compelled to punctuate her pledge with something substantial, she scanned the meadow and saw the variety of humble wildflowers surrounding her. Honeysuckle, dandelions, lilies, wild daisies…

She quickly gathered all she could find. Dividing her bundle into four bouquets she laid one by each of the bare graves— Mother’s, Russell’s, Violet’s, and finally Father’s. She wasn’t ready yet to give up hope and place any on the spot marking Peeta’s empty grave, but she touched the wood marker that bore his name as she rose to depart. She nodded with satisfaction that they all now were honored with remembrance.

She gave one last scan of the woods, and, sighing, she began to make her way back to town. Abby needed to be relieved, and Justin would be exhausted, too. There weren’t many people left in need of medical treatment. The injured had stopped coming in as soon as the fences had turned on. Anyone found outside now would not be given that mercy.

But the beds at the medical station were still fully occupied by the last of the refugees awaiting housing. These stragglers needed new homes, but construction to expand the shanty town would have to wait until the perimeter was cleared to the satisfaction of their new commander.

When she entered the large tented structure, she saw the back of Abby’s head bent over the desk. She was working on something with such concentration she did not hear her approach. She could see Justin, passed out on his stomach on the cot in the corner. Genny laid a hand on Abby’s shoulder and she jumped in surprise, but she smiled when she saw who it was.

Abby tipped her head over at Justin and said, “He told me to wake him in a half hour.” She gave Genny a smirk, “That was three hours ago.”  Genny smiled and gave her hand a squeeze. “Thanks. He needs it.”

She could see the dark circles under Abby’s eyes. “Go home and get some sleep, Abby. I can take over for now,” she said, but her eyes fell on a carefully sketched image of a plant, laying on the desk. “What are you working on?”

Abby moved aside and when she saw it— the charred remains of an old book— a wave of nausea came over Genny at the sight and smell, dredging up painful memories she wasn’t ready to deal with.

Sheepishly Abby explained, “I’m trying to recreate Arden’s healing plant book. Salvage what information is still legible on the pages that survived the flames.” She looked up at her and Genny knew Abby could see her pain. “I want to do it, for her,” she explained. “So she won’t be forgotten.”

Unable to articulate any words, Genny bit her lip, nodded, and did her best to smile. Abby got up and gathered the book and papers to her chest. “I’ll go fetch Ethan from Agnes for you,” she offered. “And take him back to Clara’s with me, if you like.”

“Thank you,” she said and gave Abby a hug.

“Oh, how is your new place coming?” Abby asked.

Unlike the people who came to Cardinal without skills deemed of value to the Capitol— the ones destined for the mines— the people such as herself and Justin, Garnett and Clara, and Danny and Abby were approved for more decent homes here in the merchant’s square. They had worthy skills according to the Capitol. She thought of the growing miners’ quarter and the crude shacks there, and shook her head with guilt.

“We’ll break ground for a new clinic hopefully next week,” she answered.

Once Abby was gone, Genny retrieved the document on which was listed all the names of people who were still being temporarily housed here in the medical station. Most of them were headed for the shanty town.

When she saw the name, her eyes grew wide and she leapt from her chair. She rushed out of the office cubicle and began searching through the station.

 _Everdeen._ Followed by the designation ‘female’ and the number ‘2’. She called out the name as she went, when finally a young woman, just a girl really, looked at her with suspicion but answered in the affirmative.

She was pretty in a wild sort of way. Dark hair, gray-green eyes, and a demeanor that radiated defiance. She held a toddler close to her chest, rocking him as he whimpered in his sleep.

She noted the girl’s fingers, covered in dirt and bloody around the fingernails. It occurred to Genny that she must have dug her way under the fence, and she felt a upwelling of admiration for her tenacity. But she was disappointed that she wasn’t Katniss.

She quizzed the girl, “What’s your name?”

The girl replied with a succinct, “Fern.”

“Do you know someone named Katniss? She’s an Everdeen, too,” Genny continued.

The girl narrowed her eyes, but nodded. “She’s a relative,” was all she offered.

Genny figured she must be one of the Everdeen clan whom Peeta and Katniss had gone to live with when they fled Cardinal. “She’s married to my brother,” Genny explained. “She has a son about the same age as this boy,” she said, indicating the toddler in the girl’s arms. He even shared the dark hair and complexion of her nephew. But then, so did this girl.

“This is my son,” Fern snapped back, her eyes flashing. She paused and then added, “His name is Chase, like my father.”

The girl was very defensive, which Genny attributed to the trauma she and her son must have experienced getting here. She held up her hands in supplication, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you. No one’s going to hurt you or your child.”

She changed tactic. “Have you seen Katniss? Or Peeta, her husband?”

Fern shook her head, the fire gone from her eyes. “I’m alone,” she stated.

It was impossible to hide her disappointment at the news, but Genny resolved to do what she could for Fern as a token of friendship for Katniss’s extended family. She went and gathered a few food supplies from their storage, placed them in a sack and handed it to the girl as a peace offering.

When Fern hesitated, suspicious of the charity, Genny told her, “Please, take it. For the little one.” The girl accepted it. “If you need anything, you come find me. Or my husband. He’s the doctor.”

The girl gave a little nod, but something in her countenance made Genny doubt she would see her. She had the independent spirit of other forest people and an intimidating, confident way about her. She’s a survivor, Genny realized, and she had no doubt her child would be well cared for.

Later that afternoon, Genny was about to go on rounds through the tents when a peacekeeper entered her cubicle, his arms holding some kind of burden inside his jacket. “You’re the doctor’s wife, right?”

“Yes,” she answered, her brows knit together, curious at what he could want. Was he injured? When he unzipped his jacket, Genny gasped.

In the soldier’s arms was a newborn, wrapped in a faded, yellow quilt decorated with blue forget-me-nots.

She reached for the bundle and the soldier passed it over, and, without further explanation, he departed the tent. Genny whisked the child into a quiet corner away from prying eyes and unwrapped the quilt. A little girl with a fuzzy halo of blond hair gazed up at her, and Genny remembered another baby many years ago who had looked so much like this one.

The undeniable reality of this child’s presence extinguished the last flicker of hope. The soldier didn’t have to explain. She knew that the only way this infant was here was because her parents were dead.

For a split second Genny considered going to the Everdeen girl, to reach out in solidarity to let her know that she had other family here in Cardinal, so that they could share in their mutual loss. But the infant clasped onto her finger, and she felt an overwhelming sense of possessiveness.

 _'This child is more my flesh and blood than hers,'_ she reasoned. _'She could be my own daughter with her fair skin and hair,'_ she thought.

“You are just like me, just like your father,” she said to the bundle in her arms.  _‘I was never an Alexander, like my brothers, like our mother,’_ she said to herself, realizing the truth. Genny gazed at the child and declared, “We are both McIntyres, same as your father and your grandfather.”

She smiled with love at the infant and cooed, “And now you’re mine.”

A bittersweet joy filled her heart that she now had a daughter. She laughed, thinking of how delighted Clara would be.

“But what shall we call you?” She thought of her brother and tried to fathom what he would have wanted. She glanced out towards the meadow where the cemetery lay, and made a decision.

 _Marigold._ She hoped Peeta would approve.

 

_Billy_

He stood at the window of his office, looking out at the view before him with satisfaction. The Capitol gleamed, all gaudy colours and brightness. He hated it, but he also coveted what it represented. At twenty-eight years of age, he was just entering his prime. The future that lay ahead of him was ripe with opportunity, and he planned to continue his policy of exploiting it to its fullest potential.

It was one of the good qualities he had inherited from his father. They both had married well, advancing their positions, had seized opportunities as they presented themselves, or sought to create them when there were none. But his father had been weak, succumbed to affections that distracted him from important concerns.

Billy had no such proclivities. He tolerated his wife because she was the daughter of very influential people in the government, which had enabled his own rise in power. He befriended only those who could further his goals.

He gave a passing thought to his siblings. Russell, loyal but stupid. He got what he deserved. Eugenia, with so much promise, but sentimentality and naivety had ruined her usefulness. Then there was his half-brother, Peat. He refused to call him by any other name. Now he, ironically, had actually had some potential, he thought. Smart, resourceful, able to win over and influence others, regardless of which side they were on.

He recalled seeing in Peat’s eyes a discernment that at the time Billy considered a possible problem. Perhaps he should have groomed him instead of that dunce Russell— he might have been useful. But whatever, he was dead, just like Father and Russell, so none of it mattered in the end. Billy was done with them all.

He remembered his mother, aloof but with a cunning sense of ambition. He could still see her eyes that would grow cold, almost snake-like with anger, when she was displeased. But also her ability to exude charm and poise with almost effortless ease.

 _‘I am the best of my parents,’_ he declared to himself, confident that those qualities would ensure his continued success in the Capitol. He raised the finely-cut crystal glass filled with quality liquor and toasted his reflection in the window glass. Though it was early in the day for this indulgence, he forgave himself, because he felt like celebrating.

His secretary knocked on his office door, giving him a reminder that the president was awaiting him at the stadium. He smiled when she said his name. It was new. He’d shed the one he’d been given along with his other ties to Cardinal. He smirked at his cleverness. He’d wanted to choose for himself something that was diametrically opposed to everything to do with the coal district and it’s dirty, black dust. The answer had come a year and a half ago, as he stood at this very spot gazing out at the winter sky.

He exited the building and stepped into the waiting car that would deliver him to witness the spectacle that he himself had recommended to the president. As he made his way to the president’s private viewing box, he had to restrain his pride at how close an advisor to Panem’s leader he had become.

His goals, however, were not yet satisfied, though Billy knew diplomacy in the highest ranks was of critical importance. He wasn’t the only one with ambitions here.

When he was escorted to the president’s side, he was greeted warmly.

“You’re just in time to see your handiwork,” the president declared. “I must thank you again for the novel idea. It remains to be seen if this event which you’ve proposed will meet our goals regarding the districts. But I am confident that it will help stamp out any lingering ideas of rebellion, at least for the time being,” the president said.

“If there are improvements to be made, we will incorporate them next year,” Billy answered, causing the president to quirk an eyebrow.

“Next year?” the man asked.

“Of course. People are fickle and have short memories. If you wish to continue to ride the success of these Games, and I predict they will be successful, you will not want to lose that momentum.” He wasn’t certain if the president was surprised or impressed by his candor. “And, if I may be so bold, I would suggest making this more broadly beneficial. A greater attention to the spectacle to provide diversion for us here in the Capitol, and just the right balance of hope and fear to maintain the control elsewhere.”

“What would you suggest?” the president asked.

“Make it a true contest, with a reward for the winner and not merely a punishment for the districts. Provide an incentive for the districts so that they are persuaded to play along with us.”

The president acknowledged the wisdom in the idea. “I’ll announce it once the last tribute is standing and we crown our victor,” he declared.

“Actually, Mr. President, if I may…” Billy reached into the inner breast pocket of his coat and drew out a neatly folded piece of paper, bearing the seal of his department in the government. He handed it over with the reverence it deserved.

The president unfolded it and carefully read his proposal, including a name for the pageant. He placed a hand on Billy’s shoulder, with almost paternal affection.  
“This is excellent. I will declare it in my opening remarks.”

Billy nodded in satisfaction. Everything was going so well it was difficult to contain his enthusiasm.

“Will your lovely wife be joining us?” the president asked.

 _My lovely wife_ , Billy thought with a mixture of satisfaction and disgust. Despite her impeccable connections, she was as insipid and insufferable as most of the people here. For example, he failed to understand her trivial preoccupation with her rose garden, but, so long as she didn’t demand too much of his time, he was content.

“No, Mr. President, she is still at home with our baby. She felt it was too much for a week-old child.”

“Oh, yes. That’s right! Congratulations to you, and please pass along my greetings to her and your new son.” He paused as the Master of Ceremonies announced the singing of the anthem. As they stood to give their attention, the president leaned over and inquired, “What did you decide to name him?”

Billy face twisted into something between a smile and a sneer, hiding his disdain of the Capitol’s obsession with obnoxious, archaic names. 

 _‘But, hell, when in Rome…’_ he laughed to himself. It was an appropriately ostentatious selection, chosen by his wife to accompany his new surname.

“Coriolanus,” he answered with a thin-lipped smile.

The president seemed to almost taste the sound of it. “Coriolanus Snow. It’s a fine name. A good choice for one of the future leaders of the new Panem.”

 _‘Or better yet, THE leader,’_ Billy thought secretly, using his well-honed skill of disguising his true intentions behind a humble facade. There might be a glass ceiling for an individual such as himself from a back-water district like Twelve, but no such impediment existed for his son.

He leaned over and answered, “Thank you, Mr. President.”

The anthem finished, and the president stepped forward to the podium. Billy glanced up at the screen displaying the event, which was also being transmitted to all the districts. The president exuded his usual haughtiness as he welcomed everyone, and the introduction of the tributes was given.

Twenty-four young people— some with anger burning in their eyes, but most betraying the stunned expression of captured prey that haven’t quite yet realized their fate— were led out into the center of the arena. Arranged in a circle, they glanced nervously at each other and the pile of assorted weapons arranged in a pile in the middle.

It occurred to Billy that they could improve greatly on these Games, embellish them into something magnificent, and he began to scheme as the president lifted his hands and announced,

“Welcome to the First Annual Hunger Games!”

The clock on the screen began to count down.


	23. Epilogue

**Epilogue**

The hunter was excited by his discovery of the lake. He might have missed it, hidden as it was, if he’d approached from any other direction. He could see that it was good for fishing, watching trout break the surface of the water as they snapped up bugs. There was even a patch of katniss growing in the shallows.

There was a lonely building at the far end of the lake, and, as he walked toward it, he noted several stone foundations of long vanished structures along the shoreline. He ran a hand over the surface of the building. This one was made of cement, a solitary sentinel of curious design. He wondered what its purpose must have been.

As he came around the corner he grew even more fascinated. It had actual glass-paned windows. He peaked inside, shading his eyes with his hands to get a better view. Well, one window was broken, but another one was still intact. It was dim inside compared to the bright, summer sunlight outside, so he made his way around to the door.

Stepping inside, he was faced with little of any salvage value. There was a fireplace in disrepair, a few utensils, some other scattered debris from years gone by. But the construction was solid and he could visualize its usefulness as a hunting outpost in the future.

As his eyes swept across the interior, he spied what looked like a pile of blankets in the far corner. He approached with caution, not knowing what could possibly be hiding there. But what he saw surprised him.

Two skeletal remains lay under the blankets, their arms wrapped around each other as if they had simply fallen asleep. He marvelled at the sight. They'd been left undisturbed with the protection of the sturdy structure of the building, but it was clear that they'd been there a long time.

He wondered if they were fighters in the Dark Days rebellion. Or maybe just two lovers trying to find some safe place free from the war outside this small haven. What role did they play in the history of this unique place? For some reason the lyrics of ‘The Hanging Tree’ echoed in his mind— _‘Where I told you to run so we’d both be free’._

Regardless of their story, the appearance of them, having died in each other’s arms, touched him. His wife liked to tease him about being a hopeless romantic, and he supposed she was right. But it was a harsh world they lived in, and he believed that any form of beauty was to be admired and cherished.

He figured that they must have been young from a closer inspection of their teeth. The hunter was unsure whether he felt a sadness for their lost youth or a gratefulness for their togetherness all these years, having never been touched by the cruelty of age. Either way, his sentimental heart brought a lump to his throat. He decided that a proper burial was due for these two forgotten souls, so he stepped outside to see if he could find a suitable location.

He didn’t have any kind of digging instrument, but there had been rain recently, and he knew the ground was soft. He finally settled on a spot. The ground had a slight depression there, and with a minor amount of excavation, he could prepare a suitable grave. There were many rocks beside the lake, especially at the junction of a small river, which would serve him well. He found a flat sided one the size of a dinner plate to use as a crude spade. The hunter got down on his knees and scraped and dug down about a foot into the soil.

He returned to the house and noticed a large painted canvas hanging on the wall in the shadows, and he was surprised that it had escaped his attention before. He was a bit of an artist himself so he stopped to admire it for a moment.

He appreciated the way the artist had captured the colors of the sunset, evident even now in its faded state. He found the dandelions painted in the bottom corner rather amusing and wondered what whimsical purpose they had served. It must have had some significance to them. Maybe it was intended as the artist's signature. He nodded in approval. It was a good choice— such a valuable plant for eating and for the fulfillment of wishes, he thought with a grin.

He pulled it from the wall and returned to his shallow gravesite and laid it down, lining the bottom. He reentered the house and approached the two lovers and considered how to transport them. Together was the obvious answer. That was how they died, and that was the way he would bury them.

He moved closer to wrap the blankets around them when he noticed two interesting pendants hanging from both of their necks. He got down closer to inspect them and saw that they were made of anthracite. He was a miner in the town within the fences, so he knew of such things. They were set in wood and rather lovely in their simplicity. He held each in his hands and realized they fit together perfectly.

He smiled, and for a moment he considered taking them home with him— a present for his two little girls— but changed his mind. These were of special meaning to these two souls. He would leave them be.

He gathered up the blankets that enveloped their remains, and, with as much delicacy as he could manage, he carried them outside. They weighed almost nothing. When he laid the bundle down on top of the canvas, their fragile bones became mingled. He wrapped the canvas over the top and used the flat rock to push as much of the dirt back over them as he could. Then he made multiple trips to the river’s edge to collect large stones to completely cover the grave. It wasn’t ideal, but with the limited nature of his tools, he was satisfied.

 _'No, something is still missing,'_ he said to himself. He looked around and smiled at the bounty surrounding him. _‘Yes, that’ll do.’_  

He got up from his knees, and, wiping his brow, he went in search, gathering what he could find. Some wild daisies, wood violets and lilies, flowers in a spectrum of colors. He spotted some dandelions, and thought of the canvas. He collected a handful of them, figuring that they would like that. He even waded into the water and retrieved the katniss flowers to add, placing the tubers in his game bag to take home.

He laid the flowers on the grave and stood back and admired his handiwork. He then took a deep breath and contemplated the place. It was a lovely spot, idyllic even. The hunter decided that he should bring his little girl here, teach her to swim. The baby, too, when she was older. He looked back at the cement house and considered the forlorn nature of the building with its crumbling chimney, the broken window, and all the debris that had blown in and littered the floor.

“I should fix up this place,” he said aloud, “It’s nice here, it just seems a shame to see it so… forgotten.”

Memories could be made here. He sighed. Katniss would be attending school for the first time in another month. He should bring her here before then, he decided. He could already imagine his wife’s response though.

_“She’s only five, it’s too dangerous.”_

He already knew what he would say. _“She needs to learn about the world, we can’t protect them forever. The sooner they learn, the safer they’ll be.”_

But then a crippling fear clenched his heart the way only a parent in the districts of Panem could understand.  _‘Seven more years,’_ he reminded himself. Seven more years before they would have to worry about the reaping.

Before he departed, he returned one last time to the grave to bid the two strangers a peaceful rest. He felt an inexplicable empathy for them and their fate. It left him with a bittersweet pain in his chest. Such a sentimental fool, his wife would say, and he had to laugh. He’d never been a man for words. His talent had always been for his art. And his singing voice.

 _‘Yes, a song would be appropriate,’_ it occurred to him.  _‘But which one?’_

Then it came to him— an old one passed down from parents to children over generations in his family. He cleared his throat and began to sing.

 _“Deep in the meadow…”_ and the mockingjays fell silent. The flowers he’d placed on the grave, the melody speaking of peace and comfort— it was a fitting tribute, he thought with contentment.

As he reached the last line he felt his sadness fading away.

_“Here is the place where I love you."_

The hunter turned to head back home. It was getting late and he didn’t want his wife to worry. Also, he was anxious to share the news of his discovery of this special place with his family.

And then the mockingjays started to sing.


	24. The Family Tree

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here is my description of the Family Tree that links the characters in 'The Place Where I Love You' and those in 'The Hunger Games' trilogy.
> 
> I am not certain how to describe the nature of the connection between my Everlark pair and Collins's - Peeta and Katniss from THG are third cousins maybe? They share the same Great, Great Grandparents in my version.
> 
> Given the size of the population of District 12, I don't think that this is unrealistic. I would imagine the small merchant class would have been even more closely related to each other since intermarrying between Merchant and Seam was frowned upon.
> 
> I apologize that the image is so blurry. :-)

 

 


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